Grissom moved in bed as his cell phone went off again. He groaned reaching over picking it up lying back he put the phone to his ear.
"Grissom." He said
A female arm slid over his chest as Sophia curled up beside him. Grissom listened to Catherine on the other side of the line as he rubbed his head.
"You take care of it." He said "We'll talk when I come in."
He hung up sighing as Sophia kissed his bare chest looking at him.
"What's wrong?"
"Oh, Sara called in sick again."
She kissed his chest again as he rubbed his head.
"Don't worry about her. She's a big girl. She can take care of herself."
He sighed closing his eyes. She moved up kissing his neck as he put his arms around her.
I laid in bed sleeping off a hangover. My head throbbed and I vomited over and over till nothing came out. The doorbell rang as I moaned moving in bed. It went off again. I put a pillow over my head. Grissom waited outside in his work clothes. He looked at his watch getting out his phone. My cell phone rang and I sat up regretting it immediately as I grabbed the phone throwing it across the room.
"Come on Sara." Grissom said
I stood going out hearing the doorbell go off. Grissom jumped back as I opened the door looking at him.
"What?!" I snapped
"I…came to see how you were doing." He said, taking in my white complexion.
I eyed him silently as he put his phone away.
"Can I come in?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because I want to lie down."
"I'll only be a minute."
"No." I said
"Sara, I just want to make sure you are all right."
I caved letting him inside leaving the door open I faced him. He looked around then at me.
"You okay?"
"Fine." I said, folding my arms over my chest.
"You called in sick again."
"I have the flu."
He nodded observing me.
"Well I want to…." I said, stopping as he touched my head and cheeks. I froze enjoying the feel of his touch.
"You don't have a fever."
I said nothing as I searched his face. He let me go as he looked at me.
"I did." I said, lying.
"Take some medicine and come back tomorrow."
"I will."
He nodded walking out. I closed the door leaning against it.
I came to work the next day keeping a low profile. Grissom asked me to come with him on a case. I sat beside him in the Tahoe looking out the window feeling his eyes on me more than once. Neither of us talked.
We got to the scene at a gas station. Brass walked over talking to Grissom as I got my case walking into the convenience store seeing blood on the floor and two men lying next to it. One had a gun next to him and the other was just an innocent bystander. Leaning down I looked at the man next to the gun. His eyes stared at nothing.
"Sara?"
I jumped up seeing Grissom standing beside me.
"Sorry, I am going to see the camera."
"Okay." I said
He looked at me funny then walked away. I worked the scene then Grissom joined me. We finished walking back to the vehicle. Grissom took my case and his putting it in the back. I stood looking down as he closed the doors. He watched me a moment.
"Ready?" He asked
"Yeah." I said
We got in driving. Grissom looked at me again then he turned down a road. I looked at him.
"Grissom, this isn't the way back."
He said nothing as he stopped the Tahoe turning off the engine then he looked at me. I took a breath looking around.
"Sara, talk to me."
"What about?" I asked, looking down.
"About you. I am worried about you."
"You don't have to be." I said, looking at him.
"Yes, I do. You are one of my best CSI's and I feel like we are losing you."
I swallowed looking down.
"Are we losing you?"
"No."
"Then talk to me."
I shook my head. He sighed looking at me. I reached up wiping my cheek sniffing.
"It's…..just too hard." I said
"What is?"
"Everything." I said, looking around. I wiped another tear. "My life…work…..everything."
He looked at my hands on my lap.
"You don't understand."
"I want to." He said
I looked at him.
"Trust me Grissom, you don't." I said, looking back down sniffing.
He stared at me in silence.
"Could we leave?" I asked
"No."
I looked at him.
"I want to leave!" I said
He bit his lip looking at me then he turned starting the engine driving again. We parked outside the lab and I jumped out walking over to get my case and some evidence. Grissom met me there blocking the doors.
"Sara, I want to help you."
"No."
"Please." He said, touching my arms. "I want to help you."
I looked at him.
"You can't help me, Grissom."
"You are going through something and I…."
"Grissom, leave me alone!" I shouted, yanking my arms from his as I ran to the building. He watched me run worried.
Sophia saw me come into the breakroom upset. She watched me get some coffee drinking it.
"Sara, what's wrong?"
I threw the cup away glaring at her with red eyes.
"Can everyone stop asking me that?!"
Her mouth opened as Grissom came in seeing us.
"Sara, I want to talk to you in my office now!"
I looked at them inching my way to the door where Grissom was.
"No!" I said
Grissom pulled me by the arm leading me to his office. I struggled desperately trying to get out of his grip. He yanked me into his office then he locked the door looking at me. I backed up breathing fast as he stood his ground.
"Sit down!"
"You can't keep me here!"
"I can and will." He said
I backed up again staring at the door. He walked over as I backed up more.
"Sara, please sit down."
I shook my head.
"You're not leaving until we talk."
He gave me his best boss look and I slowly moved over to the couch sitting down. He sat beside me watching as I moved away from him.
"You have a lot of vacation days. I think you need one."
"No." I said
He looked at me then at the floor. I put my hand to my face crying. He was stunned then he slowly touched my shaking back. I tried to move away only to be pulled against him. He put his head against mine.
"It's okay." He said
I buried my face into his shirt sobbing as he smoothed my hair rubbing my back. After twenty minutes I calmed down feeling drained. Grissom looked at the floor silently thinking. He felt me relax breathing calmly. His beeper went off. He looked at it seeing he needed to go. Slowly he moved allowing me to lie on his couch. I heard the door open and close then nothing.
Sophia met him in the hallway as he ruffled his hair.
"Is she all right?"
"I think she is having a breakdown."
Sophia looked at him stunned.
"What are you going to do?"
"I don't know yet."
When he returned I was leaving. I stopped as the door opened and he came in seeing me.
"Sara, you're off the case. I want you to take some personal time."
I said nothing as he looked at me.
"I think some time away will be good for you."
"What do I do?" I asked
"Rest."
"I want to be here."
"No, that is not an option." He said "You can see a counselor."
"Grissom, do you love me?" I asked
He looked at me in silence.
"What?"
"Do you love me at all?"
"Sara, I don't want to talk about this."
"That's my answer." I said
He looked at me in pain.
"I'll go on vacation." I said
He moved watching me go to the door.
"I would take a trip." He said "See family."
I looked at the door knob.
"There's only one place I am going?"
"Where?"
I looked at him.
"Someplace I am safe."
I opened the door feeling him close it.
"Sara, it scares me when you talk like that."
"It's better this way. You won't have to worry and you can live happily ever after with Sophia."
"It's not better, it's worse." He said
I looked at him as he looked at me scared.
"You'll come home with me tonight."
"I want to go home."
"No, I'll make some calls."
He grabbed his cell dialing then he looked at me. I settled into his car as he drove to his home. Closing my eyes I rested my head against the window. We parked outside his place and he got out with me following. I went into his home allowing him to lead me to the spare bedroom. I laid in the bed as he took my shoes off. He stood still as I moved to my side. He slid in behind me putting his arms around my body.
"I am not losing you, Sara. Not now." He said
I woke hearing a sound. Grissom was talking on his phone walking around. I sat up touching my messed hair getting up walking out to the living room. Grissom turned seeing me as he stood in his work clothes in the living room. He said goodbye to whomever he was talking to then he faced me.
"How are you?" He asked
"Who was that?" I asked
"Catherine. Are you hungry?"
"No." I said
"You should eat something."
I shook my head looking around. He sighed walking over holding his phone. I felt his hands touch my arms.
"Honey, you need to eat." He said
I looked at him as he said honey. He searched my eyes as his hands went up and down my cool arms.
"If I do can I go?"
"I don't want you to leave."
"I won't do anything."
He looked deeply into my eyes.
"I want you to stay here for the time being."
His phone went off. He lifted it to his ear looking at me.
"Hi Honey." He said
I closed my eyes feeling a pain in my chest. He went to the kitchen talking as I looked at the front door. He hung up coming out with a plate of toast seeing me at the door.
"What are you doing?" He asked
"I'm leaving." I said
"I said no." He said, putting the plate down on the dining room table.
"Grissom, you don't want me here. I am in the way."
"I never said that."
He walked over touching my cheek. I stepped closer savoring his touch.
"You can't leave. I need you." He said, gently.
He looked at my lips as I sighed gently. His head came closer and he closed his eyes barely touching my lips. His eyes opened again looking at mine. I froze knowing this was out of pity. I moved my head to the side feeling his warm breath against my cheek. He stepped back looking at me. A tear went down my cheek.
"Sara, I'm sorry."
I didn't answer as I opened the door sliding out quickly. Grissom touched the door looking down.
When I got home nothing appealed to me but a shower. I stood under the spray holding my hands up to my chest clasped together. My life seemed to be on a merry go round. Every time I closed my eyes I saw Grissom almost kissing me.
Sophia slowly massaged Grissom's shoulders as he sat on her couch after shift the next night. He was deep in thought as she rubbed away the tense muscles.
"What are you thinking about?" She asked
He blinked moving his head to the side.
"Honey, I need to do something."
"What?"
"I need to check on Sara."
She sat back looking at him.
"Gil, your letting yourself get sucked into her world. She needs a counselor, not you."
"Someone has to be there for her." He said
"It's not your job. You have your own life, and me." She said, kissing his neck.
"I do have you, don't I?" He asked, smiling faintly.
"Yes."
"Right now Sara has no one. I just want to check on her."
She sighed sitting back watching him stand.
"I'll be back."
"No you won't."
He leaned over kissing her then walked out. Grissom knocked on my door hearing me unlock it looking out at him.
"Hey." He said
"Babysitting me again?"
"No, just a social call." He said
I moved letting him in shutting the door I walked past him only to be caught and pulled back.
"Have you eaten?" He asked
"I had some toast." I said
"That's not enough."
"Why are you here?" I asked
He searched my eyes.
"Because you need me."
"What about Sophia?"
"We are talking about you." He said
I stared at him slowly raising my hand up to touch his coat. He looked down at my hand then at me. He slowly pulled me against him I closed my eyes breathing in his scent. He put his hands on my back looking at the wall behind me.
"I do care about you, Sara." He said "I need you at the lab. I think if you talked to someone you would feel better."
I moved back looking at him.
"I see so much pain in you. I know I have caused a great deal of it."
He watched me give in nodding.
After a few weeks I came back feeling better after I talked to a counselor. Nick informed me that Grissom and Sophia were over I almost fell over. Grissom came into the breakroom seeing me getting coffee. He walked over as I moved out of the way.
"So, do you have anything for me to do?" I asked
He shook his head pouring some coffee.
"Grissom?" I said
He turned looking at me holding a cup.
"I…..heard about you and….Sophia….I wanted to say sorry."
"It was mutual." He said
"Oh, well still it has to be hard." I said
"I'm fine." He said "You can help me with paper work."
I watched him go out of the room and I quickly followed. He walked into his office setting down his cup and papers on the desk then he turned to me.
"Are you still seeing a counselor?"
"Yes."
"And?" He asked
"It's going well." I said
He nodded looking me up and down.
"You wanted me to help you?"
"That can wait. Come here." He said
I slowly walked over. He took my hand in his.
"Sara, I have been thinking about things."
"Okay."
He looked at me.
"I have been thinking about you….and me."
My heart started pounding.
"Oh."
"What are your thoughts?" He asked
"I…don't know."
He nodded letting his thumb move over my knuckles.
"Let's do the paperwork."
He let my hand go and I gasped at the loss of touch. He looked at me as he rounded his desk sitting down.
He read a letter later as I sat beside him bored. I watched him in silence in fascination. He glanced at me handing the paper to me. I stamped it putting it on a pile. He read another paper and I shifted in my seat.
"Bored?" He asked
"My foot is asleep." I said, stumping it on the ground.
He handed me the paper looking down at my foot.
"It's okay." I said
He nodded watching me lean over rubbing it. I smiled at him then sat back in my seat. He went back to the paperwork. An hour later I was antsy turning my chair in different directions. Grissom sighed looking at a letter then he put it down in front of him looking at me.
"Hungry?" He asked
"A little." I said
"I can have some Chinese sent here."
"Okay."
He phoned it in then he looked at the letter again. I spun around when the chair almost fell backwards. He caught my arm pulling me back up.
"Are you okay?" He asked
"Yeah." I said, chuckling as I sat back up. I stopped moving when I noticed his lips were close to mine. He looked into my eyes before moving forwards catching mine. I could not stop myself as I moved closer putting my arms around his neck. He pulled me closer till I was sitting on his lap. The kissing became more intense and I moved back breathing fast looking at him.
My fingers went to his buttoned shirt. I leaned down kissing his chest and neck. He put his arms around me closing his eyes. Finding his lips again we began to intensify our kisses. A knock at the door distracted Grissom. He stopped kissing me looking at the door.
"Yes?" He called
"Grissom, I need your help with something." Nick called
"I'll…be there…in a minute."
I sat back looking at him with desire.
"I…have to go." He said, buttoning his shirt.
"I'll…wait here." I said
He nodded watching as I moved back to the chair I was sitting in. He got up walking out. My skin was tingling with pleasure. I wanted more.
When Grissom came back the food had gotten here. We ate then he had to go to a meeting. I helped Greg trying to think about something else other than what happened earlier.
After shift Grissom took my arm leading me to his car. We got in driving off to his place. Once inside I attacked him. He went along with it letting me lead him into the bedroom.
Later I moved feeling perfectly at peace. Stretching, I sighed opening my eyes looking over at the sleeping man beside me. He breathed in and out slowly on his side. I smiled moving closer looking at his bare smooth chest noticing a freckle on his stomach. I stared at it reaching over gently touching it. Grissom moved opening his eyes looking at me.
"Hey." He said
I smiled moving closer kissing him.
"So?" I said
He smiled blinking slowly.
"So I think I am in love." He said
"Isn't that a little fast?"
"I think I have always been." He said, touching my cheek. "I didn't realize it till last night."
I sat up pulling the sheets around me.
"Grissom, I think we are going to fast." I said
His hand went up my smooth back.
"Perhaps we are."
I sighed looking down at him.
"I do love you, but I don't want to rush into anything we would regret. If we are to be together I want to be sure."
"I agree." He said
I laid on my stomach putting my head against his chest as he played with my hair.
A month later we were still taking it slow. After a shift I saw Grissom walking down the hallway talking on his phone. I whistled after him smiling watching him turn giving me a warning glance.
He came out seeing me leaning against my car looking at him swinging my keys around with my finger.
"Sara, we have rules about sexual harassment." He said
"I know." I said
"Don't do it again." He said
I nodded smiling as he turned.
Parking outside my place I saw him park beside me getting out.
"Stalking me now?" I asked
He kissed me then motioned to the stairs. We ate then sat on the couch watching a movie. I plopped back against the cushions yawning.
"I don't think I am going to last much longer." I said
"I'll leave." He said
"No, I want you to stay." I said
He looked at his watch.
"I really should go."
He stood pulling me up then we walked to the door.
"See you at work." I said
He kissed me then went out.
Sophia walked over to the lab seeing Grissom working alone in the room. She knocked making him look at her.
"Haven't seen you in a while." She said
He nodded looking at her.
"How are you?" He asked
"Better seeing you." She said "Are we still mad at each other?"
"I am not mad." He said
"Good."
He looked back down at the screwdriver he worked on.
"How's the police department?"
"Good, I like it." She said, coming over to him. "Gil, there is something we need to discuss."
"Yes?"
"This might not be the best place." She said, looking around.
He looked at her.
"What's wrong?"
"Well….this is not easy to say…..I am pregnant."
Grissom looked at her stunned.
"P…pregnant?"
"Mmhmm." She nodded
"Is it….mine?"
"Yes."
He set down the screwdriver looking at her. She watched him lean against the table rubbing his head.
"I didn't want to tell you here, but I needed to tell you."
"What are you going to do?" He asked
"Well, I have several options, but I think having the baby and keeping it is what I am considering."
He nodded. Sophia turned seeing me standing at the door looking at them. Grissom looked at me knowing I had heard the word baby.
"Did you want something, Sara? Grissom and I are talking." Sophia said
"I…heard." I said
"Sara, I'll meet you in my office." Grissom said
I nodded backing up walking out. Sophia rubbed her head turning to him.
"Great, now the entire lab will know."
"Sophia, whatever you need I will help."
She smiled at him. Grissom came into his office seeing me standing still stunned.
"She is having a baby?" I asked
"Yes, and it is mine." Grissom said, shutting the door.
I looked down reaching up touching my head.
"Sara, I don't want this spread."
"I can't believe this." I said
"I told Sophia I would help her, but I am not getting back together with her." He said
I looked at him.
"I love you." He said
"Another woman is having your baby and you love me?"
"Yes."
"Do you even know what is happening here? Do you comprehend?" I asked, moving around the room. "She is having your baby!"
"Sara, calm down."
"No, you casually come in here and tell me what is happening and then you say I love you?! That is not what you should be saying!"
"What should I be saying?"
"Grissom, this is happening! Right now there is a human being growing inside Sophia, and it's going to grow up! How can you say you love me with this going on?!"
Grissom calmly walked over putting his hands on my cheeks.
"Listen to me. I have talked to Sophia and she has agreed to have the baby without me. I told her I will assist her, but she does not want to get back together. I love you and nothing will ever change that." He said "I never meant for this to happen, but it has. You need to calm down."
I took a breath as he searched my eyes.
"Now, will you marry me?"
I nearly fell as he waited.
"Marry?"
"Yes."
"Grissom!"
He covered my mouth.
"Will you marry me?"
I nodded. He nodded pulling me against him. I knew in the pit of my stomach how this would end.