Title: The Beginning After The End
Summary: Jack, Kate, and the life after (with a dash of Suliet). one-shot.
A/N: I have to admit, I've been arguing with myself for a few weeks about whether or not to write an afterlife fic. I feel like to write one is almost betraying the message left by that final scene, which clearly was designed so that each viewer could decide for themselves where they were going. That said, it obviously yields a lot of possibilities as a writer, and I didn't want to pass up an opportunity to explore it. So here it is, my take on where they 'moved on' that hopefully you find interesting yet also respectful to the essence of what the show was all about.
As the light engulfed the room, they stood one by one, all of them ready to step out into whatever lay beyond. The shared feeling was not of fear, but of excitement, as they knew whatever came next was forever and that nothing would ever hurt there. Jack and Kate were the last to join the others gathered around the door. They had remained seated as long as they could; gazing silently at one another as if still unable to believe the other was real. Jack couldn't get over how too good to be true it all was, but he was slowly realizing that that was indeed the point of this place.
But now it was time to go forward, and they all glanced around at each other in confidence. Desmond and Penny began making the first steps.
"Desmond, wait." Jack called out. Desmond turned to him with a look of patience.
"Aye, Jack?"
"…Where are we going?" Kate felt him clutch her hand tighter. She smiled at this almost childlike gesture of nervousness. Desmond merely smiled.
"The real question is…does it matter? Look around you, brotha. We're all together. All the people we care about are with us forever now. You and Kate will never be apart again. All I know is that whatever's out there, it's home. Because we'll all be there. So you just have to ask yourself, what's more important? Where we're going or who we're going with?"
Jack nodded and he and Kate exchanged a meaningful look of understanding. All that mattered, really, was that they were together. This time for eternity.
"Shall we?" Desmond asked the group.
"After you, Moses." Sawyer said. They all chuckled, including Desmond. He took Penny's hand in his and led the way. Soon, all of them had passed through the doors. Jack and Kate were the last. She turned to him and took his face in her hands as she had so many times before.
"No matter what happens, I love you." she said. Jack gave her the same smile he had the last time he heard her say those words.
"And I love you."
They kissed sweetly. When they parted, they put an arm around each other and breathed in deep before finally taking those brave steps into the light. They were momentarily blinded by it, but did not let go of one another. As time passed, the light began to subside and Jack and Kate struggled to adjust their eyes in the new, but oddly familiar surroundings.
As the final flashing spots dissipated from their vision, they glanced around and were happy to see everyone was here. But that raised a new question: what was 'here'? Now that they were able to, they took in the scene before them.
Rows of yellowish army houses, small paved paths going through them. A grove of tall palm trees encircling the whole encampment with lush green mountains towering beyond. And the sound of the ocean in the distance. They didn't need to be told what this place was. Jack let the arm around Kate fall limp as he stepped forward, his jaw agape.
Kate glanced around at the others, exchanging looks of confusion if not horror. They had all gotten so used to the idea that this place represented all that was hateful in the world. How could this be anyone's heaven? They stood in collective silence for what felt like an hour, attempting to grasp what was going on, what it meant. Finally, someone made a sound. However it was a most unexpected sound.
Jack had begun to laugh. It started as a soft chuckle but had now turned into full-blown, genuine, happy, laughter. He turned to the rest of the group and Kate could even see tears in his eyes that were clearly of utter glee.
"What's so funny, Doctor Giggles?" Sawyer said, speaking for everyone.
"Don't you see?" Jack answered excitedly. They all looked around to each other, all except Kate, who kept her eyes fixated on Jack, already beginning to understand what he was trying to communicate.
"Everything we went through, every place we ever visited or lived in…this was as close to a real home as any of us ever had. This is where we were most ourselves, where we realized just how much we all meant to each other and who we really were. The minute we first landed here, it was a clean slate, a chance to start over as anyone we wanted. And all of us, every single one of us, became the person they were meant to be. In this place. With these people."
"Jack's right." came the voice of Locke. They all watched as he stepped forward and stood beside Jack, placing a friendly hand on his shoulder.
"This island meant more to us than I'm sure we would like to admit. But at the end of the day, it was here we all discovered our destinies and what we were really capable of. Whoever we were at the end of our lives, it was the person this island created. It's only right that this is the place we've dreamed up for ourselves, it's the only place we could have all made together."
As Jack looked from face to face, he could see his companions beginning to come around.
"It's like Desmond said. It's not about where we are, it's about who we're with. This is the one place we all shared, and now we can share it forever. That's the only thing that matters." Jack concluded, staring at Kate the whole time. He hoped with this last rousing bit he would have everyone on board. But not all were quite convinced yet.
"I don't know, doc. I seem to remember most of our time on this rock spent trying to get OFF of it." Sawyer growled. Jack was about to say something, but another voice chimed in.
"James." It was Juliet. She took a single step toward him and placed a hand to his cheek, guiding his eyes to hers. She spoke low so that hardly anyone else could hear them.
"Do you see that porch over there?" she said, gesturing with her head. Sawyer nodded. She smiled, "That's our porch."
Sawyer's face went blank, only to be replaced by a slow swell of emotion.
"And the house it's attached to? That's our house." Juliet continued. Sawyer took her face in his hands like they were reuniting all over again.
"That's our house." he confirmed in disbelief. She let out a laugh, fresh tears brimming at the corners of her eyes. They kissed tenderly.
"We are home, James." she whispered. He laughed at how simple a truth this was.
"Well then what are we waiting for?" he said. And with that, he scooped Juliet off the ground and carried her off toward their house, which appeared as pristine as they last remembered it. The rest of the group watched them happily and slowly began making their way through the houses, finding which one to call their home.
Kate and Jack meandered along the path hand in hand. There would be plenty of time to talk, no sense in rushing anything now. As they glanced over each identical house, neither made a single remark. Finally they came to one that caused them both to stop.
It was a house just like the rest of them, but somehow separate, secluded from the main grounds. Trees hung around it in shade, creating for the house its own private existence.
"It's perfect." Kate said, knowing that Jack was thinking the same thing. It wasn't that they didn't want to be near the rest of them, it was simply their unspoken understanding that they were both very private people. No matter how close they got to others, there would always be a distance. There was a time when this shared trait seemed intent on separating them, but here, as they looked at this house so perfectly on its own, they wondered if it hadn't been put there especially for them.
As they began wandering around the house, they realized just how accurate this suspicion actually was. It seemed simple enough, generic décor, not necessarily period-specific, but neutral. Suddenly Kate was stopped by something in front of her. Sitting on the mantle was the photo of Jack and Aaron that she had kept in her house. As she looked around the room, she noticed two or three other framed photos of the two of them, happy and together.
Jack emerged from the bedroom.
"There's a full closet of our clothes in there," he said, oddly nonplussed.
Kate smirked. "Well that's good. I forgot to pack a bag."
Jack laughed and walked toward her. They wrapped their arms around each other in a loose embrace and he kissed her lightly on the forehead.
"So. Eternity. What do you think?" he mused, looking around.
She smiled warmly. "Not bad at all."
He chuckled and they kissed sweetly, an act they planned on repeating as many times as possible to make up for all the time missed in life.
Later, after night had completely fallen and most everyone had gone to sleep, Jack and Kate decided to go to the beach for some time to each other. As they foraged through the jungle along the path they had memorized, Jack toted a blanket and a torch, Kate an armful of firewood. Suddenly, they heard some rustling coming from the trees ahead of them. They paused in curiosity, fear was a thing of the past considering it wasn't as if they could die again. The ocean was just beyond this next grove, so whoever it was, they had had the same idea as Jack and Kate.
Suddenly, Sawyer and Juliet stumbled into view, holding each other up, both obviously quite drunk.
"Well good evenin'!" Sawyer exclaimed at the sight of them, brandishing an empty Dharma rum bottle. He and Juliet were in a fit of giggles.
"Evenin' James." said the sober voice of Jack.
"Where are you two lovebirds off to?" Juliet chimed in.
"Looking to get ah…what was it? 'Caught in a net'?" Sawyer added with a wink.
Kate laughed to herself. "Something like that," she said.
"Well don't worry, there's plenty of sand for everyone. Now if you'll excuse me, I must be getting my wife to bed."
Jack and Kate stopped and looked from each other to the rosy-cheeked couple.
"Wife?" Jack asked.
"Well sure, doc! Way I figure, this is heaven, right? It's not like there's any judges around or anything, and who the hell's gonna object? So if we wanna say we're married, then damnit we're married!" Juliet let out a small holler in excited agreement.
Jack and Kate beamed in happiness for their friends.
"I guess…Congratulations?" Kate said, but Juliet and Sawyer were too busy staring at each other, sharing a look whose meaning Jack and Kate read loud and clear.
"Well as much as we'd like to celebrate with y'all…I think uh…me and the Mrs. here…"
"We need to go have lots of sex." Juliet concluded succinctly. Jack and Kate laughed and stepped aside, allowing the couple to saunter off together in inebriated wedded bliss. Kate wanted to tell Jack about how Sawyer had planned on proposing to Juliet long ago, but she decided against it when she remembered that Jack still felt responsible for why that didn't happen.
He marched on a pace ahead of her, and as she stared at the back of his head she wondered if Sawyer had given him any ideas. She wondered if Jack was even capable of processing something as simple as wanting to be something and just deciding to be it.
Finally they made it to the beach. Jack began placing blankets down on the sand, noticing Desmond and Penny a ways down the shore making their way into the jungle. He and Kate were totally alone. She piled the firewood and used Jack's torch to light it before at last taking a seat beside him. They did not curl up in each other's arms or anything like that, they simply sat about a foot apart, gazing into the fire, lost in their own heads.
"This is right where we were." Jack said distantly. Kate looked up, silently pressing him to go on. "When we first introduced ourselves. You were sitting right there and I said, 'I don't even know your name.'"
Kate smiled, "I'm Kate."
"Jack," he answered, laughing at the replay. They resumed their silence.
"I think that's when I first knew," said Jack.
"Knew what?"
"You know…that it was you and me." He turned his eyes upward to see her.
Kate didn't know how to respond. Luckily, Jack had more to say.
"Even before then. The moment we met, when you were stitching me up, remember?"
"Of course I remember," Kate said in a strong whisper.
"I had only known you hardly a minute, and for some reason, I trusted you more than I had trusted people I'd known my whole life. It was like you already knew everything about me. Like we were somehow connected."
"Soulmates." Kate said, finally putting the word out into the open. Jack smiled.
"Yeah…soulmates."
Kate moved closer to him and took his hand in hers much like she had in the church, entwining their fingers together. She placed her head on his shoulder and they stared, mesmerized, at the fire.
"How old were you?" Jack asked after several minutes. Kate was about to ask what he was talking about, but she realized soon enough.
"I was 70. Natural causes."
Kate could feel Jack sigh with relief. She had lived a long life after him. That was all he'd ever wanted.
"I had broken probation by leaving the country, so when we got back, Frank dropped me in the middle of nowhere before heading back to the States. They told everyone I was dead. Turned out I was in Australia, but I had to make a new life for myself. So I cut my hair, dyed it a different color every few months, and became Anne Shephard, a widow living alone in Melbourne."
Jack didn't know what to say. It wasn't exactly the peaceful life he had hoped for her, but it was the only life Kate could have made for herself after all she'd been through. Still, there was really only one detail that was keeping him speechless.
"Shephard?" he asked.
"Let's just say it fit the part," she said with a weak smile after a minute or two.
"Was there ever anyone else?"
Kate wasn't sure how far to go with her answer for this, but she figured if they had eternity ahead of them, there was no point in not being honest.
"Sawyer. For a while, at least."
Jack remained silent for several minutes. Kate feared the worst.
"I'm glad." He finally said. She turned and looked into his eyes, surprised by this sudden change. He simply smiled, knowing he didn't need to explain. She knew all Jack cared about was that she had been taken care of by someone, it didn't matter who. As she thought back to all the hardship they had faced over Jack's insecurity about Sawyer, she realized his acceptance of it now only proved how much he really loved her.
"Claire and Aaron lived nearby, but I couldn't spend too much time with them or else people would start putting it together. Sawyer just kind of floated around the world for a while, and eventually he just sort of…floated over to me. We were together for about 2 years."
"Why didn't it work out?"
Kate sat up and looked him in the eyes.
"Because I wasn't Juliet…and he wasn't you."
Jack couldn't figure out what he was feeling. On the one hand, he was upset that she clearly hadn't had quite the happily ever after he had wished, that her life continued to be a constant struggle even after the island was over. But at the same time he couldn't get over how amazing it was to hear her finally say, without an ounce of doubt, that it had been him all along that she really loved. Judging by what Kate said next, he realized she knew what he was thinking about.
"It was always you, Jack," she said, placing a hand to his cheek, "with Sawyer…it was easy. I didn't have to think about it, I didn't have to learn anything about myself to make it work. But I knew from day one that being with you…I would have to fight for you every minute. And that scared the hell out of me, but that's how I knew it was real."
"Fight for me?"
"…It was always to either me or your destiny. And I knew in the end I would lose. Let's face it Jack, you knew that just as well as I did. That's why we could never stay together."
Jack thought about this to himself for a long while, not saying a word. She was right. They had always been afraid of their feelings not because they didn't understand them, but because they didn't want to face just how strong they really were. If there was one trait they both shared more than anything, it was a fear to let their guard down, especially to each other.
"But it doesn't matter anymore." Jack finally said. "We're here. We don't have to be afraid of losing each other ever again. For the first time we can actually get it right."
Kate smiled, a tear or two brushing down her cheeks. She leaned over and kissed him, like a confirmation that she was ready to start again.
"I love you." she said, and she couldn't wait to say it countless times more. He didn't say anything back but simply kissed her again. Soon, the kiss intensified, and in moments they became even more relieved that there was no one else on the beach besides them.
Hours later, after they had decided to stay there until morning, Jack and Kate lay wrapped up together, dozing in and out of sleep to the calming sound of waves crashing a few yards away.
"When you said you didn't care." came the sleepy voice of Kate. Jack adjusted his head as if to ask her what she meant. She sat up slightly and leaned upon her elbow, placing her other hand on his chest.
"When I wanted to tell you what I'd done and you said you didn't want to know. That it didn't matter. That's when I knew."
"Knew what?"
"That it was you and me." she said, borrowing his phrase. "You made me realize that I was more than a mug shot and police report. You're the only one who's ever made me feel like that."
Jack smiled, knowing he didn't need to explain how he felt about her. He opened his arm out to her and she nestled against his warm body.
"Who'd have thought," Jack said wistfully, "…the doctor and the murderer."
Kate let out a small laugh in spite of herself. They certainly weren't the most conventional of pairs, but that didn't make it any less real. It was only now that they were able to truly wrap their heads around what this place really was. It wasn't the island, it wasn't heaven or some higher plane of being. It was a second chance. And as they both reached this revelation, they tightened their embrace and watched as the sun began appearing over the horizon on what was only the first of endless days full of endless opportunities. They were ready for eternity to begin.
A/N: To my 'Count to Five' readers, I hope this was happy enough :)
Reviews are always appreciated!