"Look you're cute and everything, but there's something missing. It's not your fault or mine, it's just not meant to be." I watched how Sirius broke up with his fling of the week. How many times did he say those words already? Even I had heard them once and that was already a long time ago.
You see, once I was Sirius fling of the week. Back when I was still young and innocent and most definitely stupid. I thought that I could change him, that I could be the one who could make him believe in commitment.
Of course this wasn't the case. Sirius dumped me after a week. After all, he was the great Sirius Black and he wasn't interested in commitment. And just like all other girls at that age, my heart broke. Now when I look back I can see how stupid and believable I was. Not that I cared anymore. I believe that things like this made you stronger. So even though I felt pity for the girl, I knew she would become a strong and independent woman. Or one of his annoying fan girls.
I seriously hated them. How you could you still be head over heels with a guy who broke your heart? Alright, some of them didn't date him yet, but most of them did. Some even twice.
The girl walked away with tears in her eyes and Sirius looked satisfied.
"You're disgusting, do you know that?"
He turned his attention to me with a smile on his face. "What are you talking about Kels?"
I stared at him with my mouth open. Kels? Why did he use my old nickname? "I prefer Kelly or even Velt for that matter. Oh and I was talking about the way you dump your girlfriends. Change your talk a bit. Be creative, you can't tell them the same thing. You've been using this the past two years." In the beginning I was just saying it, but at the end I was nearly yelling.
Sirius didn't look impressed and was looking at me with an amused grin. "Looks like it's still bothering you Kels."
I sighed at my nickname and his grin grew even more. This made reconsider hitting him and I did my best to ignore it.
"I don't know what you're talking about," I said.
Out of nowhere his face was suddenly close to mine. "Oh I think you do. You're still not over the fact that I dumped you."
He stared into my eyes and I did my best to stare back.
"Oh I definitely am. It just irritates me to see that you're still as immature as always."
He laughed at my accusation and sat down next to me. He placed his arm around me and without thinking I shifted my weight a bit, so I was sitting more comfortable.
"Perhaps I am, but I can remember that you thought it was cute."
I looked at him in awe. He still remembered the things I had said to him? After two years and more than fifty girls later? I could honestly say that I was shocked. Perhaps he wasn't as bad as I thought.
"You know, I don't really remember why I broke up with you," he said, although I was not sure whether he was talking to me or more to himself. "I mean, you're cute, funny, not a drama queen and a very good kisser."
Ok, he was definitely talking to himself. No sane person would ever say something like that. On the other hand, since when did Sirius become a sane person? I tried to ignore his mumbling and after a moment he stopped.
"Do you know why we broke up?"
This time the question was for me. I hesitated with my answer, because I didn't know why he was asking this. To be completely honest, I didn't know the real reason. Therefore I chose the safe route.
"I believe it was because we weren't meant to be." I tried to keep my face serious, but failed miserably. Sirius let out his barking laugh.
"Perhaps you're right. Maybe I should tell girls the real reason why I break up with them." He squeezed my side and stood up. "Thanks Velt."
He started to walk away. I knew this was my chance, because deep down I always wondered why broke up with me.
"Black!" I yelled and he turned around. "It's never to late to begin."
He laughed and walked back. He sat down on the same spot as before, but this time facing me. His hair fell in his grey eyes and with one movement of his head, it was gone.
"The real reason why I broke up with you, was because you meant something to me. You came much closer than anyone else and the feeling of commitment scared me. I mean, we were so young, I didn't want to get attached."
This wasn't something I had expected. Not at all. But that one sentence: We were so young. That meant not anymore and he was right. We were grown ups now.
I didn't notice how his face seemed to get closer. I didn't notice anything at all until his lips touched mine. And even then I didn't respond. I was just sitting there in shock. Only when he pulled away I reacted. Without thinking I closed the gap again. I could feel him smirk against my lips and it made me smile.
Perhaps it was time for forgiveness. Perhaps I had to give him another chance.