AN: Just a really random story that I wrote for English class. Oh well, it was fun :D

Disclaimer: I'm only going to say this once: Obviously I don't own anything, blah, blah, blah...

Hope you like it guys :) and I'll try to update my other stories as fast as possible too, but it's difficult with school constantly getting in my way, you know. But I'll try. Promise. :)

My Secret Life As A Superhero

Chapter 1

Of Comics and Cupids

I don't think you know who I am, though everyone at my school knows me. Obviously. Because I'm Blaise. Blaise Zabini. Gloriously dashing. Glamorous bad boy. Astronomically popular, and I'm pretty much every girl's lusty fantasy. Yup, that's me.

-S-

I think Draco's seriously thinking about viciously ripping my (beautiful) eyes out of their sockets and crushing them to mush in his fists.

I can tell.

Because I'm his best friend and I know the signs. Such as scarring our table with burn marks, as he's kindly demonstrating next to me right now. I can't help but smirk, I know I probably deserve his wrath. Though secretly I think he may have a dramatic case of anger management issues. He's just mad because I made him do this elective class with me, for extra credit at the end of the year. I don't think his problem lies in the prospect of extra credit (because he needs it if he wants to beat that Granger girl), it's the actual subject: Muggle Studies. Delving into the primitive minds and historically unimportant evolution of non-magical folk.

It's a total doss. An easy pass.

And Draco hates Muggles, hence, he hates me for forcing him to study them. In detail. Oh the horror. I think I can see even the fair hair on his arms shudder.

Despite his aversion to it, I quite like the subject to be honest with you. Who knew that Muggles could be so ingenious, so oblivious and really, so bloody hilarious? I mean, just last week we were studying these funny little books called Comics, with pictures that don't move an inch (imagine that!).

Pansy's darting daggers at me from across the room. We had a little, minor disagreement this morning, which we were going to discuss with Professor Burbage during class; but seeing as she's late once again, Pansy's getting more and more agitated. Hence those nasty looks I'm receiving. Oh, scratch that last bit. The Professor just trudged in the door, her robes hanging off her shoulders in the most unfashionable way imaginable, and her hair looks like a bird pitched up camp in it. I think you get the picture.

Pansy's hand was the first up. "Professor! Professor! Isn't Superman's cape magenta red? Because Blaise said it isn't!"

Right, this means war. "Professor, Superman's cape is not magenta red! It's cherry red, Pansy you're colour blind! Professor, tell her it's cherry red!"

Professor Burbage is turning around to us slowly. Uh-oh. "I have had it with you two!" she bellows, "Can you, for one week just be quiet!"

Pansy's just too thick to let it go. "But Professor",she sighs, "it's obviously magenta red! And Blaise,"she points her quill at me from across the room, "I am not colour blind, and you're acting like a little girl the way you argue about fashion."

I snort, "Pansy, you do realise that you just said something degrading about your own gender. You're ever so clever."

Pansy's head whips around to me, her black bob slicing through the air. "Actually, Zabini," she hisses, "if you were really clever, which we all know you're not, you'd have realised that I actually said something degrading about you. Not my gender."

"Alright, this is not relevant to class." Professor Burbage cuts in before I can retaliate, "We're moving on."

Behind me the whole class groaned. I think they like the little debates that go on during class; but it might just also be that they like the way the little debates waste 'precious' class time. Either way, they groaned.

"Right, moving on." Burbage leaned back in her chair. "Open your books on page 114. We're studying the Muggle's perception of Greek Mythology." she sighed.

I look at Draco. What? Greek Mythology? But we already learned about Pegasi and Chimaeras in Care of Magical Creatures class.

Draco nods at my open book so I look down to read the title: 'What Are Greek Gods? Yet Another Fictional Delusion Of Muggles.'

"So class, today we're starting with the mere roots of a thing Muggles call religion. How do I even start to explain the Greek Gods?" she huffed, "Well, there's Zeus. He's like, the Minister of Magic; he's the boss. And he likes to hit people with his lightning bolt."

At this Draco sniggers, turns around in his seat and shouts across the room: "Hey Potter! Now you know why you're such a scarhead!"

"Mister Malfoy, turn around and do try to behave yourself whilst in my class please. So, where was I again? Oh, yes. Zeus. Well, he was the God of hospitality, was married to Hera the Goddess of married women, and had countless affairs and children." she took a deep breath, "Today, I think, we'll start with something easy, because I can tell none of you are paying me much attention. How about...Eros, or as you might recognise him: Cupid, the God of pure love."

"Ohhh! Professor is that the naked, chubby baby with wings? He's totally cute!" Pansy, really can't contain herself, can she? Draco's got his head in his hands, probably thinking something like: 'Kill me. Just kill me. Please.'

"Um, sure Pansy. Yes." The face on Professor Burbage is priceless. You should be here to see it. Really, you should. "In popular muggle, and recently wizarding culture too," the Professor continues, eyeing Pansy to see if she'll say something completely ditzy again, "Cupid is frequently shown shooting his bow to inspire romantic love, effectively, making him the icon of Valentine's day. They say he's the reason why people fall in love, or are love struck."

Shame she can't finish this highly stimulating lesson because the bell just went off, but I feel inspired! And by the look on Draco's face, he's thinking the same thing as me. Because even though everyone knows me, they don't know my little secret. And that little secret needs a name, just like Clark Kent needed a name for his little secret. Because, just like Clark, I'm a secret superhero.