Hannah Montana Forever is really bad. I don't know what happened to the old writers and editors, but the dialogue has been off and the video editing has been choppy. It has been very disappointing, with few exceptions (like the new principal, and Obama).

But I like the concept of the relationship between Jackson and Siena. I only wish they introduced her earlier; but now they are forcing through their relationship without allowing time for it to grow organically (like Loliver! :D). So here I am, trying to pen a realistic exposition on that relationship. Enjoy!

The past few weeks had been the best couple of weeks I'd ever experienced. And it was all because Miley had to get all teary in front of Dad and complain about her homesickness. So Dad, being the pushover he is, bought us a new house.

Now I would usually be one to complain, since Mrs. Hannah Miley Montana always gets whatever she wants, but I guess sooner or later our requests would compliment each other. What can I say? I've got a big HD flat screen in my room and that Xbox 360 I've been begging for the past two years. I guess dad went crazy at the mall.

But by far his best purchase was this house. It wasn't really the house itself that made it the best house ever (although I admit that Dad did a fantastic job furbishing it). It was amazing due to its proximity (next door) to an amazingly gorgeous bikini model.

When her cousin came barging into our house carrying a stack of our mail, I was prepared to throw him out. But it was amazing how a pretty girl standing in the doorway could persuade the host to allow her annoying douche bag of a cousin unlimited access to their hot tub? Yeah, I was completely under her spell.

But at first, I was simply attracted to her, well, attractiveness, and the sexiness of her being a bikini model. Even to this day I am unable to pronounce that word without stuttering.

But my feelings for her grew in a way that was not safe. It was normal for a guy like me to have to hots for a gorgeous bikini model. But it was not normal for a guy like me to hang out with a bikini model. And it was absolutely not normal for a guy like me to watch Mamma Mia! and openly cry. In front of the aforementioned bikini model.

But she thought that I was sweet and sensitive. So I showed her my impressive collection of chick flicks (hidden behind stacks of action/adventure films, of course). She asked if she could borrow some, since she had been dying to watch My Best Friend's Wedding and 27 Dresses. She had already set aside (500) Days of Summer as the next film she was going to borrow. Apparently being a bikini model makes it difficult to find time to watch movies (or to enjoy many other activities, for that matter). I thought that kinda sucked.

Despite sounding very cliché, I will begin by saying this: Here is the story of how I met Siena and how she completely wrapped me around her little pinky finger. I am a guy and I am not afraid of admitting this.

I had only known Siena, the bikini model, for a week at that point. And I had only met her on three separate occasions, the first and second being an awkward conversation about her cousin's abnormal insulting behavior, followed by a visit to the pizza parlor to listen to raving rants about how horrible and inconsiderate her professional football player of an ex was. I must admit that I still enjoyed that rant, despite how dejected Siena looked.

A few days later, Seina simply showed up on the doorstep, saying that she was dropping by the say hi. I was absolutely flabbergasted, since I never expected to see Siena again after that visit to the pizza parlor. I started stuttering and ended up asking if she wanted to see my room.

In my defense, I was under a lot of pressure and I had only wanted to show off my new flat-screen television. The question was not insinuating anything sexual whatsoever. But she probably thought I was a sex-craved hormonal teenager after that and didn't want to see me ever again.

So I was surprised when she said yes.

It was during the proceeding couple hours that I began to fall for Siena in ways more than physical attractiveness. And that scared the hell out of me.

When we entered my room, I flew off in a hurried ramble about the technical specifications of the flat-screen television and explained its many capabilities. I expected Siena to laugh at my nervousness and leave. I never in my wildest dreams expected her to even put up with me this far. But she stayed and was seemingly listening intently. She asked questions. And I answered them. And gradually, my speech became more measured.

We spent the next hour discussing high-definition video, surround sound speakers, sub woofers, and how crappy modern 3-D video was. We even delved into talked about computers. I explained the concept of Free and Open Source Software, of how a community codes and writes its own software for the benefit of all, instead of heavily regulated corporate employees coding software for the benefit of the corporations. We discussed all kinds of things about technology.

I never expected a girl to be interested in that kind of stuff. Especially not a hot bikini model. But it turns out I was gender stereotyping. While we were done debating about the politics of the afore-mentioned open source software, I stopped looking at her as a 'sexual object', if you will, but as real friend; someone whom you could count on to make you feel happy. Someone who shared the same interests as you.

What happened next, however, almost made me die of embarrassment. She was clicking around on my computer and happened upon a folder full of chick flick films. As it happened, I turned absolutely beet red.

To Siena's credit, she didn't start laughing, or degrading me for being too feminine. She just smiled and looked at me intently, waiting for me to say something.

I had not told anyone about my obsession with chick flicks and things like romance novels. I even listened to Taylor Swift's music! It was a secret I had planned to take with me to the grave. I carefully cut a small portion of my salary to buy those films and books, so Dad wouldn't notice anything wrong.

I was still crimson red and looking wildly across the room, noting that Siena still hadn't moved her gaze away from my face. So I decided to talk. Lying was no longer an option, since that wasn't how you treated a friend, right? So I told her the whole truth. How ever since I was little and happened upon the Disney fairy tales of Cinderella, The Little Mermaid, and Snow White, I had instantly fallen in love with the concept of all things romantic.

I also made sure to sarcastically praise her for being the first person to find out, despite having only known me for a week. She laughed at that, and it made me feel warm inside. That laugh triggered me to open up even more for her. And before I knew it, we were both on my bed (again, nothing sexual) and watching 17 Again on my television.

I thought I made a good impression, right? At the appropriate parts during the film, my mind started to wander – fantasizing about ways to ask Siena out. But every time, my realistic side pulled my wandering subconscious back. No need to cause unnecessary angst over a frivolous crush that would never be returned.

And so, when the movie finished, we made arrangements to meet again at her house next week for a real movie night and we went downstairs talking about things I'd rather wish my Dad wouldn't hear. Luckily, he probably thought I was lying through my teeth to impress a girl, like I usually would.

I could almost slap myself at how awkwardly our good-bye was. But even more embarrassing was the fact that I closed the door on Siena after she asked me out and dad had to reply for me. Perhaps for those of you who haven't seen that particularly embarrassing scene being aired on Disney Channel, I will explain.

In her crazy, completely Siena way, she asked me out. She was good at complimenting, I must say. She dated professional athletes? Rockstars? A prince? But the one guy that she had to ask out was me! Even if I didn't like her (and just to be clear, I had at this point completely fallen for her), I would have accepted.

And what happened afterwards was so excruciatingly embarrassing that I felt like pounding my head against the wall until it bled. I froze, my dad had to reply for me, and I closed the door on her despite her protests.

Now I sound like a bad boyfriend. And maybe I was.

I was very possessive on our first date. I would glare at every guy who even glanced in our direction. I made sure that nobody with a Y chromosome came anywhere near our table except for the waiter.

Siena didn't seem to notice, but if she did, she was hiding it well. At the moment, I was watching her scarf down a pizza without any dignity. I was glad she could act that way in front of me. It made me feel closer to her already, since no other girl would have dared to act that way on a first date.

And apparently, it was the first time anybody had bought her a carb-packed greasy pizza for her before. And she thanked me for it. I thought I'd just tell that to the world. Especially that two-timing dick of an ex that Siena had dated previously.

Back on topic. I was in a precarious situation that no guy would ever want to be in. Yes, I was on a date with the prettiest girl in existence. But I also had a full bladder and every guy in the restaurant was staring at the prettiest girl in existence.

But I could no longer hold it in and Siena convinced me to go. I could not run the risk of wetting my pants on my date with Siena – she had already put up with me more than she should have. So I agreed and left.

But my paranoia was spot on. I returned in less than a minute to find Siena surrounded by all the guys that had congregated at the pizza parlor during our date. I sighed. I knew that dating Siena would be difficult. She was definitely not the right girl for me. I mean, look at me! I'm an ordinary guy living an ordinary life, being an ordinary goof ball. Siena was extra ordinary. She was a beautiful, gorgeous girl with a wonderful personality.

No wonder she was such a catch. And I couldn't compete with that.

And with what was starting to become a trend, my insecurities took over and Siena had to prove it false. She told off all of the guys who had started to hit on her and came over to me. And kissed me on the cheek.

I smiled. There is no way in hell I am letting go of Siena. My insecurities and lack of self-confidence can throw themselves out of the window. I will put up with all the other guys if it means that I get to keep Siena.

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