So IMPORTANT: Yes, this is a female Naruto and reverse harem. If you don't like either, please don't comment or whatever. Either try the story or go find something else to read. Yes, there is a CRA, but I've been writing it seriously and fleshing it out, and not just using it simply as a plot device to stick Naruko with guys. As for the guys, I'm actually developing their characters and developing their relationships with Naruko, and not just putting her straight out with them. If it's still not to your liking, find the exit please and keep your opinions to yourself.

7/10: So, wanted to address a few things. A few people have left reviews (like a handful of people, but I like to settle things so I don't get bothered by the same points by others in the future, hence this note) that try to critique things, but either make no sense or is answered later (they're too impatient for the development, etc.)

1. 1 or 2 people (out of everyone else) think the beginning part is confusing. Um yeah, I don't get that...because it's based off and mostly follows canon? So yeah...Whatever.

2. Sasuke/Sakura bashing: So I don't like them, whatever. That doesn't mean I'm bashing them in here. It's canon that Naruto dislikes and fights Sasuke in canon in the beginning, and without Naruto's crush on Sakura, I think it'd be the same thing when she's stuck with someone who doesn't like her and insults her often. However, if those same few people kept reading, they would see those those three eventually undergoing a development and starting to bond. Impatient people are impatient.

3. Lastly (I think), someone might've griped about Naruko having "favorites in here and not liking some of the others as much, etc., even though this is supposed to be a reverse harem." Yeah, well, this is also (despite the humorous tone) a very serious play on the CRA cliche. Not everyone, especially if it's through the CRA, will be an instant love to Naruko. Realistically, relationships (definitely with something like this) take time and development, so you know I have to flesh it out.

I know most everyone else go tall this and thank you sincerely -but there are those who need it spelled out.

Yare, Yare! Naruko Gaiden
Chapter One: Bird Cage Princess

Uzumaki Naruko was one of a kind. She was spunky, pretty, and energetic. But she had secrets. The one that was most sacred to her was the one approaching her.

"Ah, Genma-san! Do you need help?" Naruko grinned at the senbon chewing man.

"No thanks, Naruko. I'll see you around," he replied as he continued walking past without another glance.

Naruko kept grinning until he went out of sight, the grin dropping dejectedly. Her mood worsened as she watched Uchiha Sasuke being stalked by his fanclub. She almost sneered, but shook herself mentally. She had to meet the old man.

"Um, Naruko…how are you?" Kotetsu, a long-time friend of hers, asked.

"Ara! You snuck up on me. Don't do that!"

He chuckled before nervously rubbing the back of his head. "Um, well, can I walk you to the Hokage's?"

"Sure," she shrugged.

The two of them leisurely took their time in walking to the Hokage Tower, Naruko musing over her latest failure with Genma.

"You look really pretty today in that kimono, Naruko," Kotetsu said quietly.

"Oh…this? Hokage-jiji made me wear it. He said I'm meeting someone special so I have to wear something nice. Do I really look nice?"

The black yamabushi kimono she wore was topped with geta and a dark emerald haori. She'd much prefer orange, but it was nice and the Sandaime was the one who'd given the getup to her, so she could deal.

"Really beautiful, Naruko. Who're you meeting?"

"I don't know," the blonde frowned, realizing she had no idea why she was meeting anyone.

"Guess you're about to find out," Kotetsu mentioned as they stood in front of their destination. "Well, I've got to go deliver my report. You'll be okay going up?"

"Hai, hai. I'll see you later, Tetsu-chan."

He grinned and planted a kiss on her cheek, disappearing into the building first. She sighed before following after him.

"Ah, Naruko. You're here," the Sandaime Hokage smiled at her.

A younger man stood next to him, wearing similar clothing as the Hokage, only with brown instead of red.

"Hello, Hokage-jiji. Who's…this?" Naruko started out warily.

"This is who I want you to meet. This is the Yondaime Tsuchikage Minamoto Nakago."

Naruko hesitantly held out her hand and was surprised when the Tsuchikage grabbed it and bent to kiss it. Her face heated up.

"Anou sa…why am I here?" Naruko questioned.

"You're here to meet Tsuchikage-dono. He's to be your fiancé," the Sandaime abruptly revealed, waiting for the inevitable outburst.

"WHAT?!"

Later, when the Tsuchikage left, Naruko rounded on Sarutobi Hiruzen, looking more like an angry cat. Hiruzen chuckled nervously.

"Hiru-jiji, you're not serious, are you?" she asked incredulously.

"Naruko, it won't be that bad. Besides…you've met him before, don't you remember? You liked him before."

She let out an outraged scream, turning and stomping away, not bothering to stay and hear out his reasons. The old man sighed and put his head in his hands. He wondered if the events would ruin Naruko's chance at passing the Genin Exam.

Meanwhile, as Naruko stormed away, she couldn't shake off the feeling that she was missing something. But then a newly familiar voice interrupted her thoughts and she stopped and turned, seeing the Tsuchikage calmly walking towards her.

"May we get together and talk?" he quietly requested.

She fidgeted, but shyly nodded, even more shyly accepting his offered arm. He led her, to her happy surprise, to Ichiraku's where he ordered two miso ramen to go. Strange, how he'd ordered her favorite…

"If you don't mind us taking our meal to your place for a more private discussion?" he looked calmly at her and she tried not to turn too obviously a red.

She nodded and after the silent wait, the food was ready and this time she led him to where she lived. She was certain he knew where it was already though.

In embarrassment, she led him up the precarious staircase and then to her apartment, fumbling with the keys before finally getting it right.

"S-sorry about the place. I haven't had time to fix it up or make repairs," she said as she closed the door behind him.

He nodded, not letting her see his unhappiness at her place. It wasn't her fault, he knew, but the state of the place could do with some renovating. If he could, he would already be bringing her with him to Iwagakure.

"Let me cut to the chase, Uzumaki-san. I have been Tsuchikage for only a couple years. My predecessor, Onoki-dono, is currently unable to serve as Tsuchikage for…health reasons," he started out quietly. "I'll be blunt. This is a marriage alliance, but that doesn't mean that I will be distant or controlling. In fact, should you wish it, you may pursue a relationship with others."

"But wouldn't that reflect badly on you?" she tried not to fidget, but his presence and his words were making her feel nervous.

He gave her a small smile, "No, the marriage or engagement will not be public, at least not for a long time. No one else has to know but myself, Hokage-dono, and you. Well, Onoki-dono knows as well, but he's reluctantly accepted the 'truce'."

"Will you have…a mistress?" she mumbled, the thought upsetting her. She didn't want to marry someone and then they'll have someone else.

He looked at her in surprise. "Oh. Ah, no. Of course not. It would not be appropriate for me to seek someone else's company when I will be a married man, and especially once we're married."

She scrunched up her eyebrows. "Then why are you letting me go after guys?"

He actually started to look embarrassed, and she thought the reaction was rather cute.

"Well, I feel, as a man, that it is inappropriate for me to engage in such. You're being forced into this and we have not married yet anyways, so I would understand if you wanted to see other men. But for myself, I find it would be dishonorable to go into such conduct. I'm not saying that because you're a female and so and so, and that I'm a male and so and so…it's just that in my personal belief that as a man, I have more responsibilities and I will be the one more judged for such things."

He winced, "Ah, I apologize. I am rambling and not making much sense, am I? Please allow me to try again. I am trying to say that…I'm not being misogynistic –" she had no idea what that word meant – " and being gender biased at all. I'm merely trying to say that I believe personally that I shouldn't engage in such things because as a man, I just feel it is beyond improper and highly disrespectable to you. It's just…wrong, especially since I am one of the instigators of this whole thing."

She looked at him in amusement as he sighed and rubbed his temples. So she just snapped apart her chopsticks.

"Itadakimasu," she said simply digging into her ramen.

He stared at her before hesitantly reaching for his own chopsticks and starting to eat as well. He murmured his greeting before snapping his chopsticks.

"You tend to ramble, don't you?" she grinned after slurping up a noodle.

He coughed, "…Yes. Especially during explanations or speeches. I just tend to…end up trying to explain myself, and it never goes well. My advisors exasperatedly end up making my speeches and such for me, and I just tell them what I feel and what I want and they interpret my ramblings into some semblance of order."

She snickered, before switching onto something else. "And this 'as a man' thing…you really don't have to be so chivalrous and outdated, Nakago-kun. Though I think I can…sort of interpret that. You mean as a personal belief and not a 'world view', huh? And as yourself, not men in general?"

By the silence and his elegantly continual usage of his chopsticks, she could guess she was right and that was only compounded with the slight tinge of pink across his cheeks. Though he was surprised at the use of his given name with an attachment.

"Sometimes, I'll never make sense. I apologize in advance for it, and thank you for putting up with it," he just said simply.

She waved it off and happily went back to her ramen.

"Anyways, why me?" she asked after she'd finished, glancing mournfully at the empty takeout bowl.

Nakago was quiet for a second before sitting back and looking at her seriously.

"You are aware of your heritage, are you not? As am I. I know whose daughter you are, Uzumaki-san. You are the daughter to the Yellow Flash, the bane of Iwagakure's existence. The reason why a marriage alliance is being proposed is to help bury the hatchet between our villages. You see, Sarutobi-dono wishes to announce your heritage preferably near the next Chuunin Exams, for your rights you are denied now and other things of his agenda. But to avoid assassins and any bitter grudges from my village when the time comes, he's approached me with this so that you may be safe when the time comes."

"Why say yes?" she questioned him.

"Now that I must keep to myself for now," he murmured, staring straight into her eyes.

She knew she had to be at least somewhat blushing at the attention.

He pushed aside their bowls and grabbed her hands, tugging her around the table and away from where they were sitting. Standing up, she realized that he was way taller than her at her current height.

"If I may, Uzumaki-san," he said simply, still holding her hands. And then his hands moved and cupped her face, tilting it as he leant down.

His lips touched hers and her eyes fluttered close.

A little girl with whisker marks on her cheeks sat crying in the sandbox. She was all alone and it was getting late, the sun starting to set.

"What's wrong, little one?" a blond man with funny clothing like the old man's smiled at her as he squatted next to her.

"No one wants to play with me…they all left when I asked if I could play with them!" she let out a sob and the blond man's smile widened.

"Well, I can't play with you right now but I have something that might cheer you up. You can remember me this way!" and he handed her a pretty ring, a pearl resting in the middle of a silver band, with tiny little diamonds surrounding it.

"Take good care of it, okay?" he smiled again, leaning to kiss her cheek.

"I will," she smiled up at him.

He left and she stared at the ring in her hands. She tried to put it on, but it was much too big on her tiny fingers. Clutching it, she ran to ask the old man if he would give her a necklace she could put the ring on.

Naruko stared at the pearl ring on her left index finger. She had grown and it fit on that finger when she turned eleven, three years ago. She wondered why that memory came up right then.

"Oh crap! The Genin Exam! Iruka-sensei is going to flip!" she hurried fixing herself up, rushing to get to the Academy.

"You're late!" her favorite teacher yelled at her.

She offered a weak smile. He frowned, but shook his head.

"Hurry it up, the exam is right through that door," he pointed to a lone door in the corner of the room.

"You're not the examiner?" she asked confused.

"Iie, Hakuro-sensei is the examiner this time," he smiled reassuringly at her and she nervously headed to her fate.

"Alright, one mokuton bunshin, one suiton jutsu, and two katon jutsu," Hakuro ordered.

What? They never learned any of that…and she was sure they wouldn't be testing them on this stuff.

"But –"

"Well?" he smiled maliciously.

Her legs quivered, and she felt herself fill with anger. She couldn't stop the sob that escaped her mouth before she turned tail and ran from the room, bursting into the room Iruka was in, startling him and fleeing. There had been two instinctive reactions. One had been to violently explode and start screaming obscenities at him and the other had been to run away and cry to herself where no one could see her. Her tears were few and far in between, but when it all just built up, that was always the reaction that forced its way through.

So she sat gritting her teeth on a random rooftop, glaring into another setting sun. She had stopped crying awhile ago, but her anger was still present.

"Naruko, so you're here," a much loathed voice interrupted her silent vigil.

"What do you want?" she grumbled, not turning to look at Hakuro.

"I'm sorry about earlier, I wasn't in a good mood. I should have talked to the others, seeing your situation, and changed the test for you. There is, however, another test you can take right now that will allow you to pass."

"…Really? Are you serious? What is it?" her curiosity overwhelmed her.

Hakuro smiled, "There's a certain scroll that'll give you a straight pass."

And it was only later, when the truth began to unravel and things came apart…

In the forest, Naruko grinned in triumph, holding tightly to her prize. The Forbidden Scroll of Sealing was held tightly to her bosom and she dared not move it away for even an inch.

She eagerly began opening it and started learning the first jutsu.

By the time she was halfway through, Hakuro decided to appear. The malicious grin was back on his face and Naruko shivered at the harsh demeanor that had come over him.

"Well, well. Look at what the monster's doing," his voice mocked her.

Her breath was coming in heaves, her eyes narrowing at him even as her sweat gathered down her face and got into her eyes.

"What are you talking about?" she gritted out.

Hakuro laughed in ridicule at her. She gnashed her teeth in anger, feeling the betrayal creep up.

"Nothing you should know about, you little wench. You're just a little demon," he sneered, coming up close and grabbing her hair roughly. He gave a sharp pull, dragging Naruko up.

Then his face twisted into a monstrous expression, smiling madly at her.

"But I think I'll tell you anyway," he whispered huskily into her ear.

And then he began telling her one of Konoha's most dirty secrets.

By the time Iruka arrived on the scene, the secret had just been entirely told and Naruko was crying harshly against a tree with Hakuro's form pinning her there. The brown-haired chuunin immediately caught the henge around Hakuro.

"Kai!"

Hakuro's form poof into Mizuki, the other two's eyes widening at the truth.

"What's…what's going on?" Naruko cried out.

Mizuki shrugged carelessly, "I saw Hakuro treating you unfairly at the exam and decided to use it to my advantage. Too bad Iruka had to get in the way. And all I wanted was to kill you and take the scroll all for myself."

Iruka glared at him, understanding why Naruko ran off earlier and that now she had been tricked and used.

"How dare you use Naruko? She doesn't deserve any of this!"

"No…he's right. I do deserve to die. I'm the Kyuubi. I have to be killed before I get out of hand," Naruko unexpectedly said, eyes glazed over as she was still reeling from the revelation of what Mizuki had told her.

Mizuki smirked and released his hold on her, her body sliding down the tree uselessly.

"Finally, someone with some sense!" Mizuki cackled.

"Naruko! Are you alright? Don't listen to him! You are Uzumaki Naruko, not the fox!" Iruka tried to counter.

Naruko hid her face, before looking back up fiercely at the both of them.

"Suck face, you bastard!" she yelled, glaring at Mizuki. She leaped up and began running away, scroll thrown over her shoulders.

"Naruko!" Iruka yelled.

Mizuki cursed and began to chase after her. A while later, Mizuki and Iruka faced off after the latter had tricked Mizuki into following him when Iruka henged into Naruko.

"Why do you defend her? She killed your entire family! That demon wench had that look in her eyes! She'll turn around and murder the whole lot of us and backstab you!"

"Sorry, I haven't met that Naruko. My Naruko is sweet, compassionate, and even if she's bratty at times she can always come through for the rest of us!" Iruka retorted.

"Well then, I'll just have to kill you now."

Mizuki started towards him, but a sudden tackle to his gut halted his progress. Naruko immediately stood up and glared.

"You won't lay a finger on Iruka-sensei, teme. Or else I'll show you what this demon can do."

Mizuki snickered, but he stopped when branches sprouted from the ground and began binding around his body. It encased him and Iruka watched wide-eyed as some kind of mokuton jutsu was performed.

"Naruko, well done," the Sandaime's voice echoed into the clearing and Iruka spotted the Hokage with Hakuro.

Naruko stared in horror at the wooden tomb, not noticing the arrivals.

"You did it to save me," Iruka tried to reach her.

She cried out in horror, collapsing onto her knees and began bawling. She was lost to everyone else.

Shuriken and kunai was scattered all around the six year old girl, who was panting in frustration, glaring at the target away from her. Stupid Uchiha. Him and his stupid fangirls and stupid perfectness. She could do better than him. Just watch.

But she had no one to teach her to throw the weapons correctly. She knew her hold was clumsy, her aim was always off, and her throws felt awkward. She tried to ask for help but no one came to her aid, unlike Uchiha-teme.

Growling to herself, she chucked a kunai at the target and missed.

"You're doing it wrong."

She whirled around in surprise, too startled to be angry about the criticism and to work up a retort.

A brown-haired young man was glancing at her and the target, eyes noting the various kunai and shuriken around. The senbon in his mouth moved to one side before the other. He walked closer.

"Your stance is wrong. You're not aiming, you're just throwing. You need to really look at the target and judge your throw. Your grip should be a little more like this," and then he actually adjusted her hold, amazing her.

Who is he and why was he actually helping her?

"Eh, I got a couple minutes. Want some help?" he asked nonchalantly and she looked at him in awe, not even noticing the slight blush that grew on her face.

That was her first meeting with Shiranui Genma, and how she'd immediately fell in love with him.

Genma-san, Genma-san, would you ever be able to fall in love with a monster? Or is that why you've become so distant from me?

Please…my hand that reaches out to you stretches so far…but you're an ever fading figure that I just can't reach…

You grow so farther away from me.

Started 2/12/07 –Completed 2/13/07
Revised 2/24/11 –Completed 2/27/11

A/n 1: Done just because I wanted to see an AU fem!Naru with Kakashi. I see a lot of fem!Naru, but they're always with a popular pairing. EDIT: Since this has been first written (though not posted), plenty of fem!Naru/Kakashi has come out. Debating on turning (and very probably) this into a fem!Naru/reverse!harem, since that's even rarer and it's not so fair that there's a lot of Naru/Harem but not reverse harems (smirks). Besides, it's my usual shtick.

A/n 2: I think in the revision, I did a pretty good job editing it to fit with a reverse harem…And it will be a pretty odd mix of men in the reverse harem, very unusual but that's usually how I do things. I know there are two OCs, but to be fair –I can't even remember why I made Hakuro in the first place. He won't have too big a role, but he'll be a nice, supporting character –just to expand Naruko's family and so she can have more precious people, I suppose.

Nakago, on the other hand, will be a larger character. He was my Tsuchikage before the new chapters revealed who he really was, so I had to edit his background and role in here to sort of keep it in canon with Onoki and all. I hope you guys don't mind him too bad, and grow to like him. I usually have a good track record of at least male OCs (the one main female OC I had everyone hated, but that's only because she unintentionally and unknowingly broke up the main couple for a little bit).

As for Naruko, I know she cries a little bit more than the male Naruto, but you can't honestly say you wouldn't either if all this was happening and it just kept building up. And the Japanese, when I first wrote this, I had a lot of that in here, but because I didn't think I did too badly with them and because I'm lazy, I didn't remove them. They'll lessen over the chapters once I start writing new ones, but I can't completely stop since I already started with them in the beginning. It'll look inconsistent. Honorifics are a must though.

7/10/17: Final (pretty sure) pairings: KakaNaru, Naru/OMC(Nakago), Genma/Naru, Hashirama/Naru, Tobirama/Naru, Asuma/Naru, Hiashi/Naru, Kabuto/Naru, Yamato/Naru, Inoichi/Naru, Sasori/Naru, Killer Bee/Naru, Shikaku/Naru, Itachi/Naru, and Yondy!Kaze(Rasa)/Naru.