Disclaimer: I AM the WizardGoddess, but I do not own SUPERNATURAL, or any associated characters.
INFORMATION YOU NEED TO KNOW: On my FaceBook Harry Potter Page, I am Admin Phoenix Fire [(heart symbol) - They don't work here], known as the WizardGoddess. Admin Peeves is referred to as The Supreme Evil Overlord of the Universe, and has a TARDIS. WE HAVE MAGIC. That is all you need to know.
Everyone else writes a Self-Insertion Fic once in their lives, and hell, if I can't do it on my Birthday... when can I get away with it?
So here is a funny, non-Mary Sue, scene I imagined in my head... if someone tried to modernise Dean's taste in Music.
ENJOY.
A Random Supernatural Fanfic With Shameless Self Insertion
BANGARANG
~)0(~
It lasted for less than a moment before the twitch under Dean's eye became so profound his eyeball was in danger of leaping out in protest.
"Alright," he snarled, twisting around in the seat to glare behind, "One last chance before I kill you, turn that crap off! It is NOT music, not in the least..."
With an innocent blink, Phoenix Fire looked back, "You wouldn't hit a girl, would you?"
Dean conceded this point with an angry, 'Huh...' mumbling under his breath, '...not technically a girl... but when I find out... there has to be a way to kill you...'
With a smirk, taking note that Sam was skimming the car closer and closer to the emergency stop lane down the side of the highway... PF went one step closer to suicidal...
She Cranked up the volume on her iPod so that SKRILLEX blasted through the confined space of the car.
"That's it, she's dead!" roared Dean, throwing himself out of the passenger seat and into the back so fast Sam almost didn't have time to skid the car to a halt on the rain-slicked road in the darkness, "Whoa, Dean, calm down dude she's only a-… What I mean to say is, she's only huma-… It's female, Dean, and humanoid, do you really want to kill her?"
Phoenix smirked around the chokehold Dean had about her neck, "I'd listen to him… before I set you on fire…" her eyes were dangerous, not that the eldest Winchester seemed to give a damn, but Sam managed to Wrangle him off the …female magic thing, seconds before her fireball removed his beloved eyebrows. "Don't mess with the WizardGoddess, bucko…" she stated smugly, reclining on the backseat like it was a rather luxurious sofa…
"Hah!" Dean cried in triumph, "quick Sam, look up 'WizardGoddess' in Dad's journal and *see if there's a way to kill it*." he directed the last words at the creature in the back, idly selecting something else on her iPod. With a huff, he settled back into the seat and suddenly realised the car wasn't moving… there came a rapping on the window, "Uh Dean? Read or Drive, can't do both while it's raining… care to open up and switch?"
Much cursing, two wet Winchesters and yet more cursing later, Dean was sliding the key into the ignition and the Impala was roaring to life, while Sam quickly flicked his studious gaze between the laptop balanced precariously on his damp jeans and the journal lying open upon the dash like a wanton literary whore.
They made it probably half a mile down the road before it started again.
Dean hit the brakes with such force they screeched their way down the road, the Impala protested as its bodywork groaned and shook with the forcefully halted impetus of their journey; hands flew off the wheel while the car was still in drive, leaving Sam the unfortunate option of dying or tossing his laptop into the backseat and diving for the wheel. Luckily, for all their sakes, he chose the latter.
After having the piece of technology bounce off her head in what would give most mortals a concussion, it could be entirely justified for Phoenix Fire 3 to not have fought back as Dean leapt for her, wrangling the iPod from her hands and simultaneously kicking the back door open. The music player was unceremoniously tossed out onto the rain slick bitumen, fat droplets covering its screen like tears and rolling away…
Followed swiftly by Phoenix Fire herself, as she was swiftly ejected into the cold, wet night…
Sitting on her backside in the freezing night air, rain pouring down like tiny water missiles that some sadistic god (most likely Peeves) had pre-frozen in anticipation of this moment… she watched as the doors to the Impala slammed shut and it sped away into the night with Led Zeppelin blaring, with a bemused smile upon her features.
As it finally disappeared over the horizon, taillights all but a distant speck of red, she stood and retrieved the iPod from the puddle that had formed about it, music pumped faintly from the water-logged speakers… With a brief flick of her hand, she cleared them and slipped it inside a pocket.
"Heh, turns out they *don't* like Dubstep," she murmured to the great expanse of nothing around her, "Damn…" she cursed, "this means I owe Peeves five Galleons… that smug Ravenclaw bastard." There came a pause, "Unless…"
With that, her corporeal form shivered, flickered…and was gone.
~)0(~
"…for the last time Sammy, if you don't shut up about it, I'm going to force-feed you that laptop you love so much, and I'LL choose the ORIFICE." Dean fumed, guilt tinging his emphatic statements. Silence reigned… for all of five seconds before Sam broke in with a whining tone to his voice, "But Dean, we can't just leave her out there, stranded in the middle of nowhere… she's just a teenage girl, whatever powers she has…"
"Oh give it a rest… okay, if you promise to shut up about it… we'll go back and get her, alright? See, I'm putting the blinker on already… and we're turning around… but if that pain in the ass turns on that seizure-inducing crap stuff she calls 'music' –honestly, first Niki Minaj now this- that sounds like a demon caught in a trash compactor… I'll kill her. Led Zeppelin in real music, Slash is real music… SKRILLEX… is not." There was a pause, but Sam didn't push… this had to be hard for Dean to admit, "…but I admit dumping a kid in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night in a freaking biblical rainstorm probably wasn't the mature thing to do, crappy music or otherwise. Okay, now let's go get that pain in the ass!"
A loud explosion of rhythmic screeching noises and somebody screeching, "CALL 911!"* accompanied the query, "You mean this pain in the ass or are we about to get Kinky?"
Dean just about crashed the Impala…
THE END
…and Peeves lost his bet. She would make them love Dubstep, if it killed them…
*The last song was "First of the Year/Equinox" by Skrillex
Hope you liked it. If not, it's an endlessly replaying scene in my head, so I've been smiling since I first got up this morning.
~*SailorSilvanesti/Phoenix Fire*~