Legal Stuff: Janet Evanovich owns the books and characters, I only borrow these amazing characters because I get stuck in the rut of everyday life and need a break from reality for just a short while. Possible spoilers through Book 15 (considering I haven't read 16 yet) this is my first attempt in a long time and I'm only using it as an outlet until I find something more constructive to do. Beware of possible language and sexual situations. I will begin this as T and increase if/when necessary.

Stephanie Plum sat back against her tattered remains of what used to be her couch. Since her apartment had been firebombed, most of her apartment was still in ruins. Dillon had told her it would take about a week to get it cleaned up and she was still trying to figure out what calendar he was using. She could feel her eye begin to twitch every time she tried to put her life into perspective.

Grasped tightly in her hand was her third glass of Chateau Montelena, an amazing tasting and terribly expensive bottle of wine that she couldn't pass up on the way home from the latest atrocity that was her life. She didn't really understand where she had gone wrong in the karma of her life. Sure! She had shot someone but it was totally in self-defense. The building she burnt down was just a case of bad timing and to be honest what woman didn't max out her Macy's card on a great pair of FMP's in a moment of weakness.

But somehow, hell had moved in and taken up residence in her life and refused to vacate. She hated her job! For some hellacious reason she was still gainfully employed by her Cousin Vinnie, no matter how hard she tried she couldn't get away from it! Pausing to sulk, she finished her third glass of wine and traded the empty glass for the bottle itself as her phone began to ring. 'Sex, I like it, I love it I want it all the time...' Groaning at the ring tone, she hit the mute button. At one point in her life she thought it was cute when Joe had set it for himself as an inside joke but since they weren't together it only served to piss her off.

Her hot and cold relationship with Joe Morelli was spending more time in Antarctica and less in Fiji as of late. She could understand him being a cop and all of the horrible things that came with it. She loved him and she wouldn't change him for anything. Unfortunately, he couldn't say the same about her. He hated her job, a topic that many of their arguments revolved around. If it had been up to Joe: she would have quit her job, moved in with him and been married months ago, like every good little girl from the Burg. Lord knew it was what her mother wanted, it probably had something to do with her phone bill every month. He also hated the fact that she sometimes worked part time for Rangeman on a strictly 'need the money to pay rent' basis. Of course with that came the intimate contact with the owner and other man in her life Ranger. Ranger was the other topic that their arguments revolved around quite frequently.

Tall, dark, sexy Ricardo Carlos Manoso AKA Ranger. He had his hands (as well as other body parts) in many aspects of her life: sometime boss, co-worker, roommate, mentor, friend and one time lover. He was an enigma and specialized in the two-word conversation. It wasn't the best relationship: she loved him, he loved her in HIS own way and yet for some reason they couldn't be together. (His words, not hers) Their entire relationship was one big game of foreplay that for some reason only ended up with them in bed once, not for lack of trying on his part.

Glancing down, she sighed when she realized the bottle was practically empty and she remembered why she didn't drink much. She was a lightweight and when the alcohol reached her brain it awoke all of those crazy thoughts she fought so hard to ignore. As well as required the cure the moment her eyes opened the next morning.

Truth be told she had been entertaining this particular thought process for weeks now. Leaving Trenton. No more Morelli arguments, no more Ranger induced sexual frustration, and the desire to go one day without hearing her shortcomings as a daughter. Just a quiet, peaceful life where she could find a job that didn't require guns, handcuffs or the fire department on speed dial. A normal relationship with a man who loved her for who she was and didn't want her to change and who could commit to something longer than post coital bliss. Her mouth was practically salivating at the prospect of being able to wake up without fear of someone breaking into her apartment and perhaps the chance to control her life once and for all.

'I know you want me...I made it obvious that I want you too.' Stephanie didn't even have to check the caller ID to know who that ring tone belong to, reaching over she hit the mute button on her phone once again. If Morelli couldn't get reach her and now Ranger was in the hunt as well that only left one other person who would be blowing up her phone. Counting to ten in her head she waited for the phone to ring again. "Three, two, one. 'Wassup Dallas wassup...Wassup Dallas wassup...Dallas jump on it, jump on it...'" Feeling the muscle behind her eye begin to twitch again she picked up her cell phone. "Yes Lula?"

"Where is yo' skinny ass?" Lula's voice screeched through the speaker, "Morelli has been blowin' up my phone and Ranger just rolled into the office saying you is off-line-whatever the hell that is and he needs to find you. You know, I ain't gonna keep being your secretary."

Dropping the empty bottle on the floor she laid down to ease her throbbing headache, "I'm drowning my sorrows then going to bed."

"Whose bed?"

"Mine!"

"Alone?"

"Yes!"

"Uh huh, I'll tell the boys."

"NO! I want to just be by myself tonight, tell them-" Pausing she tried to think of something to soothe the savage beasts hunting for her. "I don't know just make something up."

Lula huffed through the phone and Stephanie could practically hear her shaking her head, "Girl! I ain't never met a woman who had two fine men searchin' her out and she's chug-a-luggin it at home alone."

Stephanie slapped herself on the forehead and immediately regretted it, she groaned into the phone as she closed her eyes.

"WHAT are you doin'? This ain't no phone sex line! Put that Herbert Horsecock away and call your men." Lula cried out, ending the call.

Rolling over, she pitched her phone at the far wall relishing the sound of the device exploding into a dozen little pieces. Tomorrow was going to be a new day for Stephanie Plum. Tomorrow she was going to leave and not look back. Tonight though, she was going to drag her drunken ass to bed and forget all of the horrible things she suffered in this life and look forward to starting new one.

"Sex" is by Ginuwine, "Tonight" is by Enrique Iglesias and "Jump on it" is by Sir Mix A Lot. All three are great songs and make me think of the characters every time they play on my Ipod.

AN: I'm just getting my feet wet again, always looking for a Beta if anyone is interested! Leave love or hate just let me know someone is reading this.

As a heads up I love to write but I never have the opportunity to actually put it down in type, I have a lot of other stories that I began to write and then suffered writers block. So here I am moving in another direction and hoping that if I get stuck on this story one of the others stories will begin to flow again.

Always,

Lady