A/N: Beginning immediately after (or at the end of) New Moon.
I own nothing but the plot.
Written Monday, May 28, 2012 by SaritaLissie13Ginevra
Song: Illusions of Bliss (Sarah McLachlan)
Stephanie Meyer owns characters, and plot of all books in the Twilight Saga.
I was listening to my iPod tonight and had sudden inspiration to write an Edward/Bella fic (became hooked on Twilight).
First Twilight fic, so please be kind :)
Constructive criticism welcomed, please PM.
(Edward's POV regular font, Bella's italicized) b
Enjoy:)
I'm returning to her again. Back to Bella. Back to her embrace. After all that has happened to us after I decided to leave, I've seen it is best to stay with her. As I lay with her, I wonder what happened to the resolve that was, slightly wavering, but still strong last year. I had made up my mind to leave, and never return…And the answer quickly becomes apparent. Each time I hold her in my arms, gather her to me, I am on the receiving end of an illusion. An illusion of bliss that I can find nowhere else.
And here I go again. After so many months of clinging my memories of Edward, I finally have him back with me. Despite it all—learning about vampires, the "incident" with James, the werewolves, the encounter with the Volturi— I always return to his arms. Edward has compared me to a moth, and I finally understand why. I, the moth, continue to return to him, the flame, attraction so easily overriding any concern for being burned. I can now so simply say that I don't care. As long as I have him with me. Every touch of his hands, every taste of his lips, only serve to make me want him more. I imagined, at some point during the last several months, that I was strong. That I could forget, and move on. That was obviously a rebellious moment. With every breath I took, I got weaker. I could no longer survive without him.
It was Bella who freed me, released me from the metaphoric bindings of being what I am. It was Bella who brought fire into my 'life', making me almost…happy…and giving me a reason to live.
Edward is so ingrained in my being, I have fallen so irrevocably in love with him, it is now impossible to be separate from him, to try to separate my soul from his, without breaking the stride we have so quickly and easily settled into.
Each breathe of her wonderful, addicting scent gets me high. She is, as we so carelessly joked, my "illegal drug". One I cannot withdraw from.
Each time his hands touch me, I want more. I want him to continue to touch and stimulate each part of my body, of my being, and bring me to the edge of the cliff. He refuses, and says to wait. For today, I'll settle for just one moment.
I knew, the moment the words first left my mouth, that they were three words that I should have never said. I knew, despite the fact they were true, that I said them only to hear them back. I wanted to, for once, know the feeling of sincerely being loved by someone—being loved for being me. Once Bella said it in return, and I knew she was sincere, I knew I needed to leave, to return to the life where there was certainty for both of us. But, the lines got blurred and my conscience, which I had always so heavily relied on, was never heard—I was too deep in the illusion of bliss. The illusion I know and love. The illusion that is Bella.
Soon, I will insist on more.