Some dark poetry about Kakashi. The plot bunnies were attacking me and I had to write it down! I always pictured him talking to Team 7, but you can connect this to just about anyone.

Behind the mask

Anyone who knows me knows I wear a mask.

Even those who don't know me know I wear a mask.

Its common knowledge.

No one knows why.

They all have their theories of course,

They think I'm deformed, ugly, horribly scarred.

They think I do it out of self-consciousness.

But they don't know me,

They'll never know me.

Sometimes I even wonder if I even know myself.

Who am I?

Why do I hide myself?

I can't handle the truth.

I'm afraid.

I'm afraid of who I am underneath.

Underneath all the lies,

Then you will see that I'm not Kakashi.

I look in the mirror and I see one man,

It's not me, it's my father.

I see myself and I see hate.

I see myself and I see a failure.

I don't want to face that.

I can't,

Because I will be always be compared to him.

I'll always be in his shadow.

I can't escape it.

It will haunt me.

Day and night,

It follows me everywhere I go.

I can never be myself,

If I could let lose all that I'm holding back.

I'll have to face it.

I'm a monster.

I'd scream,

Long painful wails full of anger.

And I'd cry,

Many, confused tears full of hate.

And I'd show them,

I'm not the tough shinobi they all think I am.

Sometimes, I don't want to be looked up to,

I'll never be a role model.

I would never want someone to end up as broken as me,

Especially not you.

I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

And it would horrify me if you see what I've seen.

But sometimes, I just don't know.

There is never an easy way out,

I don't have a way to make it okay.

I don't have a secret trick,

There no hidden ace, or trump card,

Sometimes I just can't do it.

There never will be a way to erase the past

What makes you think you're different?

What makes you think you're special?

You're ordinary,

Just like me.

There's nothing I can do.

And in the end, you will die.

Because I wasn't able to save you.

And I won't be able to save you.

I can't save you.

I say I don't let my comrades die,

But it's all a lie.

They all died.

Every one of them.

And I couldn't save them,

No matter how hard I tried,

They all left me here.

And I couldn't do a thing about it.

So what's the point?

I would wither away.

And I can't have that,

I must be strong, I must at least pretend.

I have to pretend for you,

So you can have the false sense of comfort I grew up without.

I have to protect you,

With my life if necessary.

I won't make the same mistakes again.

I'll try harder this time.

I'll make things right.

Even if I am in despair,

I have to hold it back,

So you can believe I'm as fearless as I make it out to be.

So you can know it will be alright,

Even if I'm not sure myself.

I'll try for you.

I've never meant to cause anyone trouble,

But it always seems to find me.

I never wanted any of this.

I don't want you.

I'll have to look out for you now.

And what if I can't?

Would you forgive me?

I don't want Sakumo's pride.

I don't want Obito's trust.

I don't want Rin's love.

I don't want sensei's legacy.

But it all came to find me anyway,

And I don't deserve your admiration,

And I don't deserve your praise.

I wish I had the same faith you had in me,

Because I don't see it.

I'd give it all back if it meant I could have another moment with them,

In a heartbeat.

I'd give it all away,

Don't think I'm selfish.

Someday you will see it too.

And I hope you don't,

But its fools hope.

You can't help them all.

Someday the yearning for your loved ones will be too much to take.

But by then, you'll have someone else to make your life worth living.

It's never worked for me.

I'm cursed.

I don't have someone to guide me.

I guess that's my fault.

I pushed them all away.

But they're still dead,

And soon you will be too.

Because I trust you.

I think of you as comrades.

You're my little soldiers now.

And that hasn't stopped death before.

I see that in myself,

Where others would see a quite handsome face,

I see all my past mistakes.

I don't want to see it.

I hide it.

And I run from it.

But maybe someday I'll confront it.

And maybe I'll see what others see in me.

And I'll realize.

I can change.

If I can truly see what is behind the mask I wear,

Then I'll fix all these problems.

And maybe I can learn to let go,

And maybe I'll forgive,

And forget,

And move on.

And maybe the world will get to know the man behind the mask.