Asuka looks up at the lacerated pipes that have just run out of coolant. "Tell them I've had a wonderful life." she says as the last pipe tears apart and leaves her to her gruesome fate.

Suddenly, there is a jolt and her descent stops. She smiles.

"Wittgenstein, really?"

"Dummkopf." The German leans back in her seat and lets out a long sigh. "Danke."

"Imma doch, Liebling."

Neon Genesis Evangelion:

Coupled Effort

Chapter 01:

The Trouble with Espousals

"Shinji, you there?" Asuka props herself up on the bamboo fence.

"What do you think?" Shinji gives her a flat-eyed stare.

"Marry me."

"WHAT!?" With a loud splash, Misato joins her ward on the fence. "If you guys think tha-"

"Okay." The boy's answer leaves the purple-haired captain frazzled.

"But... But, you..." Asuka slaps her on the back and grins.

"I know, you're still adapting." Her smile then grows kinky: "So, Shinji; is that thermal expansion at play or are you happy to see me?"

"Gah!" A red-faced Shinji dives down, obscuring everything below his eyes.

'So easy to tease.' Asuka chuckles and reenters the steaming water next to Misato.

"Asuka, do you really think I-"

"I looked it up, Misato." The girl faces her guardian. "Following Second Impact, the ages of consent were lowered to 14 for boys and 12 for girls, both with consent of a guardian. So please..." She makes puppy eyes. "Will you consent?"

"I figure if I don't you'll just fake my signature again, so what the hell." Misato throws her hands up.

"Hey, I'd like to think I've outgrown such childish behavior." Asuka pouts.

The older woman grins. "That may be, but you both are still my babies of sorts." Her expression turns serious. "Are you absolutely sure?"

Asuka smiles. "Is my mother a crazy bitch?"

"Shinji?" Asuka props her head up on one hand and faces him.

"Hm?"

"Are you awake?"

"I am now." Shinji turns around to face her. "What's eating you?"

"Are we going too fast?" She sighs. "I mean, about marrying?"

Shinji chuckles. "All things considered, I'd more call it about time." He hugs her at the waist. "Don't you agree?"

Asuka pulls him closer, her expression sobering. "No, I mean regarding the others. Won't they get suspicious?"

The boy grins. "Why? I pilot a giant robot. What girl wouldn't dream of being my girlfriend?"

"Schwachkopf." Asuka punches his arm, then snuggles up close to him. „Come on, let's go to sleep."

"Pilot Sōryū."

"Yes, Wondergirl?" Asuka looks up from her lunch and over her spectacles.

"Why..." Rei Ayanami's resolve almost falters, but only the redhead notices, "is Ikari avoiding me?"

Asuka nearly chokes on a sausage. 'That idiot!' "Uh, I don't know?"

"Highly unlikely, Pilot Sōryū." The First Child stares down at her. "I am sorry, but since you are the woman Ikari desires I am fairly certain that he confided in you."

Asuka sighs. "Listen, Wo- Rei, I don't know what his motives are, and even if I did you should ask him, not me."

The blue-haired girl seems to consider that. "Thank you, Pilot Sōryū, I think I will."

Turning her head away from the leaving girl, Asuka's slip stares her right in the face.

"Pilot Ikari, state your case."

Shinji shuffles his feet nervously, the darkness around and the light directed at him obscuring the review board almost completely. "I desire to marry Pilot Sōryū, Asuka Langley."

"Motive?"

"Because I love her."

"...You are dismissed. This board will inform you of its decision."

Shinji salutes. "Sirs."

"Eh, marry!?" Hikari recoils. "Isn't that a bit early?"

"With our job?" Asuka snorts. "If we go slow, we'll be glad to have kissed before we die." She looks down, a touch of sadness in her voice. "I almost died in that volcano. I almost died alone. I don't wanna die alone. And..." Looking up, she gives Hikari a soft smile. "And I love him. Why risk losing what we could have for the sake of being proper?"

"I... I guess I never looked at it this way..." The pigtailed girl frowns. "Do you think Suzuhara...?"

"Girl, are you still prancing around him?" The redhead sighs. "Just talk to him, already." Suddenly standing up, she drags the blushing girl over to where the guys are having lunch. "Tōji, Hikari wants to tell you something. Kensuke, scram. Shinji, with me."

"Yes, Ma'am!"

"Don't 'Ma'am' me."

"Yes, Sir!"

"Depp." Asuka giggles. "Come on, let's give them some privacy."

"Um, Asuka..." Shinji rubs his arm as they go a little ways. "I think I mucked up my board meeting."

She strokes his arm reassuringly. "Don't worry. My board meeting is today, and Misato says it's really just a formality." Her voice drops low and she grins. „So bad?"

"Yup." Although blushing profusely, Ikari manages to get a jibe in: "But from what I hear, it's the same for you."

"Oh, you!" A beet-red Asuka starts groping for his neck, but he ducks away. "Komm sofort zurück, Du Schwachkopf!"

At her vantage point under a tree, Rei Ayanami raises a single eyebrow at the redhead chasing after a laughing Shinji.

"Pilot..." The middle board member rifles through a stack of papers, "Sōryū, it says here you desire to marry."

"True."

"For the protocol, please state the person whom you wish to marry."

"Pilot Ikari, Shinji."

"Miss Sōryū. According to Captain Katsuragi, Misato, you claim to love said boy, yet according to your file you have known him for barely a month, hardly tolerated him for even less. Explain."

Asuka sighs. "I... wasn't being honest with my feelings. In truth... In truth I liked him from the very first time I saw him on the deck of the 'Over The Rainbow'."

"Still, the timeframe seems awefully short." The aforementioned board member narrows his eyes.

As does Asuka. "Yes, but... Dear sirs, do you know about love?"

"...Hrhm!"

The redhead grins like a shark. "I take that as a no, so take my word for it: love cares not for time."

"Thank you, Pilot Sōryū. You are dismissed."

Asuka salutes sloppily and sashays out of the holo-room.

"Ikari." Rei enters the cafeteria.

"A-Ayanami, hi." Upon seeing her, Shinji stands up and turns to leave, but finds his exit blocked by the very person who just entered from the other end of the room.

"I need to have a word with you." Still mostly expressionless, Ayanami crosses her arms.

"Um, I..." Shinji sweatdrops. He doesn't really know how to go about talking to... her.

"Why are you avoiding me?" Her being who she is, her question could just as well have been a statement.

"I, uh..."

"I am not trying to get between you and your father." The blue-haired girl studies him almost curiously.

As if there had been a keyword, Shinji suddenly flares up: "No, you're just his spoiled little girl; the daughter he never had. Who looks just like mom!" Behind the First Child, a familiar mane of red comes into view and the girl attached to it sighs in exasperation.

Rei recoils slightly at his outburst. "I was not aware you think that, Ikari. I am sor-"

"Save it." Shinji pushes past her and lays an arm around Asuka's waist, in answer to which an eyebrow twitches upwards, again. "Can we go home?"

"Yeah, all done." The redhead turns in Ayanami's direction. "See ya, Wondergirl."

"We will." Rei exits from whence she came and goes in the Medical Wing's direction.

"Ikari?" Kōzō Fuyutsuki frowns.

"It doesn't affect the scenario. It will only make him fight harder in the end."

"So?"

"Approve it."

"Very well."

"Pilot Ikari." Shinji huffs.

"What now, Ayanami?" He turns away, trying to reach the school gate, but again finds his way blocked by the person behind him. The bespectacled redhead at his side mutters something into his ear and continues on into the school.

"I am trying to understand your sudden hostility towards me." explains the blue-haired girl. Her façade of emotionlessness is visibly cracked and she seems agitated.

"I think I made myself very clear, Aya-"

"No, you didn't!" she breaks out, but immediately catches herself and retreats behind her battered mask. "You gave me reasons for your attitude, bu-"

"Look, Ayanami!" Shinji gets in her face. "I don't care what you want or why you want it..." He backs off a little, "But I really don't give a damn about it." Tears start forming in Rei's eyes, but her mien stays expressionless, although her lip quivers for just a second. "So would you kindly back o-"

"SHINJI IKARI!" rolls a thunderous shriek across the campus, "GET RIGHT HERE RIGHT THIS INSTANT!" Ikari starts quavering at the sound.

"I g-gotta go. Bye!" Looking like a frightened deer, he hurries into the school, leaving a shaken Rei Ayanami behind.

Asuka Langley Sōryū fidgets.

This morning, one Misato Katsuragi cheerfully woke her and Shinji by yelling and then casually asking how 'Snoo-Snoo' was - although she knows there hasn't been any. 'Yet!' And then, after the spluttering subsided, she told them their petition has been approved.

So now, all Asuka can do is wait for the final bell... And she is bored. No, not just bored. She is bored out of her mind. 'Not like I don't already know all this.' So she folds her arms on the desk and lays her heads on them, ready for a na-

"Damnation."

Although spoken as if stating fact, this simple word lets the whole classroom fall deathly silent as all eyes in the room turn to Rei Ayanami. They all recoil at the display of emotions they see: Sadness, anger, even fear.

The teenager simply stands up, starts for the door and grabs first Shinji and then Asuka by their necks while curtly snarling: "Angel. Shelter. Now." The Second and Third Child, respectively, are too stunned to really react. Only when Hikari runs up and hands Asuka her glasses does the redhead gain the power of speech:

"FRAKK!"

And, grabbing Shinji by the hand, starts running.

"I can't believe we forgot Matariel!" Speeding down the street with Shinji in tow, Asuka smacks herself in the forehead.

"You gotta admit, it's not like he's mem-"

"If you don't mind..." Ayanami overtakes them without effort and then turns around without slowing down in the slightest, "I don't believe your timetraveling problems are our main concern, right at the moment."

"Wait, what?" The German trips and almost falls, with Shinji smacking into a lamppost. "Rei, how d-"

"We need to get to the Evangelions." The First Child's voice carries without problems, although she is already thirty meters ahead. This is when Asuka realizes that she has stopped.

"Verdammt! Shinji, get up." Picking her dazed boyfriend up off the ground and shouldering him, she starts running after the albino again, this time at top speed. "Ayanami, wait for us!"

"So, what's the plan?" Shinji's EVA crawls right behind Unit 02.

"Well, first off, stop ogling my mother's ass." Asuka grins when Shinji turns green.

"Yuck. Gross." Inhaling deeply, Ikari tries to concentrate on the LCL's taste. "Much better. Now, seriously, what are we gonna do?"

Asuka turns business-like: "This Angel's AT field is laughably weak, so why not let Rei practice? Ayanami, you take point."

"Understood." Rei's picture pops up in her vision.

"You cannot be serious!?" Shinji's display almost jumps at her. "This... thing ended the world!"

Asuka smacks her face and shortly panics before realizing she isn't wearing her glasses inside the entry plug. "Shinji, I swea-"

"I object." Rei bursts out. Uncharacteristically grinding her teeth, she plows on: "I did not e-"

"Oh, but you did!" Shinji cuts her off and his girlfriend starts cursing under her breath. "You made me God! What did you think would happen!?"

There is a snarl and all pretense of control falls away as Ayanami's patience finally snaps: "Listen here, brother!" she practically spits the term, "Were it not for your frakked-up EGO, I wou-"

"ENOUGH!" Unit 02 kicks Unit 01 with enough force to kick it back into Unit 00's face. "Stop squabbling like rivaling siblings and focus!"

"But, she-" Shinji is petrified mid-sentence when Asuka makes a sharp 'zip your mouth' gesture.

"Shinji, es steht mir bis hier." The Second Child holds the flat palm of her hand at the height of her throat. "Wenn wir hier fertig sind, klärt Ihr beide das, verstanden!?" she snaps at her husband-to-be.

"I-"

"Hast Du mich VERSTANDEN!?" Asuka's eyes speak pure murder.

"Ja, Schatz." He lowers his eyes.

"Gut." The redhead takes a deep breath and then kicks in the final ventilation grate to the main shaft. "Now be a good boy and hand Ayanami your rifle, then follow me out." With that she swings upward out of the tube.

Grumbling, Shinji does as she said and then follows her out, together with her blocking the shaft crosswise as Rei climbs out and gets into position.

"I am in position."

"Good." Asuka checks her data feed. "Fire at will." Just then the first of Matariel's acid starts burning through her EVA's sympathetic connection and she inhales sharply. "Damn it. Now, Ayanami!"

"Firing." And three short bursts of gunfire riddle Matariel with holes.

"Well done." Asuka closes her analysis tool. "And now I need your command codes."

"Why?" Shinji asks.

"Because, stupid..." she grinds out, "somebody and his sister decided to talk about repeating all this inside their GODDAMN ROBOTS! Now give me the codes!"

"...Okay."

"Sending code."

The German grins internally. 'They're totally like twins.'

"Good job, guys!" Misato claps her hands together as the three teenagers climb out of their plugs. "Debriefing will be tomorrow, seeing as we're still mostly without power. Your phones should be working fine, though." She then clasps her hands apologetically. "Sorry, but you'll have to walk home; I gotta oversee the cleanup."

"It's alright." answers Asuka when she is finished vomiting most of the LCL out of her lungs, "We'll walk Wondergirl home." The captain smiles at that.

"Thanks." The redhead snorts, some LCL still stuck up her nose.

"Yeah, yeah." she mutters. "But you better thank me only after you're sure I don't kill them both before we get there."

"Ooookay then." Misato sweatdrops. "Off you go, kids."

Asuka sighs contentedly as the warm water from the shower pours down on her skin and mingles with the soap to rid her body of the last bit of this damn tang. "Sorry, Ayan-... Can I call you Rei?" she says over the sounds of sponging down and washing of hair in both their stalls.

"You may." comes the again quite emotionless sounding voice of her... sister-in-law? 'Now, that's gonna take some gettin' used to!'

"Rei..." she starts again. "I'm sorry for how Shinji treated you back there. I should have interfered earlier."

"It is not a problem." says Rei as she opens Asuka's stall door. The German raises an irritated eyebrow, but merely sighs and turns the water off. "But this is not the place to discuss any of that."

"We really gotta work on your social skills, girl." Asuka says as she accepts the towel from the albino.

"So..." Asuka clasps her hands behind her back. They left the NERV complex ten minutes ago and are now headed for the blue-haired girl's apartment building. "What gave us away?"

"You mean aside from the fact that you behaved differently, the last time around?" This gets Rei a double-take. And another one, just to be sure.

"Huh." The Second Child grins. "Ayanami made a joke. The world's gonna end."

"Yeah, great." mutters Shinji, pouting and hands in his pockets, "Give her ideas, now." This earns him a dope-slap and he shuts up.

"Don't listen to him, Rei. He just blames you for his being a wimp in the past." Asuka inhales deeply. "Ah, being a teenager again." This earns her a double-take. "What?"

"How old are you?" Having let her mask slip off once they were out of sight of NERV, Ayanami now looks and behaves almost like a normal girl. Which makes it even more jarring for the redhead to be asked her age, but she shakes it off.

"Twenty-two to -four, we're not really sure. But when you're the only people left on the goddamn planet, it doesn't really matter, now does it?"

"Nonononono." Rei shakes her head in shock and utter disbelief. "This cannot be. My sending my own spirit back in time was at the very pinnacle of the Impact, mere seconds before control shifted to Shinji. The ripples cannot have gone so far. I was estimating a year, two at the most."

"Well then, Doctor Ayanami..." Asuka turns around and crosses her arms over her chest while going backwards, "How come, then, that we are here?"

"That, I do not know. What I do know, however..." the First Child points forward, "is that we have arrived at my lodgings."

Asuka stops and half-turns, then arcs a dubious eyebrow at the building. "This is where you live?"

"Yes. You seem uncomfortable with that fact." Rei studies her face curiously.

"Uncomfortable? UNCOMFORTABLE!?" Asuka very nearly starts hyperventilating as her temper flares up. "Rei, these accommodations are every kind of wrong!"

"Wait 'till you see her apartment." mutters the still sulking Shinji under his breath while the three of them ascend the stairs.

"What did you just say!?" Torn between disgust at the rundown building and immeasurable anger at the Commander, the bespectacled girl feels the sudden desperate urge to fling her boyfriend into the next wall...

Which she promptly does when Ayanami opens the door.

"What the hell IS WRONG WITH YOU!?" she screams at the motionless heap of limbs three meters down the hallway and then whirls around. "Rei!" The albino stands to attention, genuine fear in her eyes. "Pack your things. You're moving in with us." Ayanami nods dumbly and hurries inside to comply.

"Seriously..." mutters the fiery redhead as she flips open her cellphone. Typing speed dial number Three on it, she slowly walks into the apartment and her face screws up in disgust. "Yeah, Misato? Ayanami's place is a dump." She sighs angrily when Misato says something. "No, of course not. Because a dump's cleaner! Now listen: Since she can't live here, she's gonna move in with us. What? No, that's not a problem." She grinds her teeth at another question. "No, I said it's not a PROBLEM! Now make it happen!" she shouts into the receiver, then snaps the phone shut. "You done?"

Rei nods timidly, a small briefcase clutched to her chest. Asuka raises another eyebrow.

"Girl, you got a lot to learn..." She sighs, takes the briefcase and turns around. "Ah, awake again? Here, take this." She flings it at Shinji, sending him tumbling back to the ground. "Vollidiot." she grumbles as she steps over him.

"You can have this room." Asuka slides the door open and clicks the lights on. "Sorry, but it doesn't have a window."

"A window will not be necessary." Rei enters and lays the briefcase down on the bed. "Is this the room Ikar- my brother dwelt in?"

"Yeah." The redhead starts rubbing the back of her neck and grins nervously. "At least after I... kinda... tossed him out of the other one." A grumbling from across the hall wipes off her grin. "And I might do it again shortly." she grinds out.

"May I..." Ayanami falters, drawing Asuka's attention away from Shinji. "May I inquire as to why you are wearing glasses?"

"You may." Asuka smiles. "And don't be so formal; just ask away. As for the glasses, I'm myopic."

"I know of that fact. Let me clarify, Pilot S-"

"Asuka."

"...Miss Asuka, why are you wearing glasses instead of your usual contact lenses?"

The German shakes her head. "Miss Asuka? Seriously?" She throws the albino an amused look. "As for the contacts, I can't stand wearing them, anymore."

"But, your looks are important to you, are they not?" Rei is surprised to get a shake of the head in answer.

"When nine superpredators leave you with only one eye and a whole load of scars, you sorta learn to appreciate the conveniences of life." Asuka leans against the doorframe. "That's an awfully condensed answer, but to elaborate on my first reply: I never liked my lenses. I only wore them because I thought that if I don't, I won't be considered pretty and therefore appreciated." She smiles wistfully. "Silly, isn't it?"

Rei considers, then shakes her head. "A very comprehensible thought for a thirteen-year-old girl."

"Rei..." Asuka fixes her with a stern gaze. "You obviously read my file; tell me anything in there is normal."

"Well, you... wanted to be loved by your mother?" A snort answers the blue-haired girl.

"Yeah, and it went downhill from there." She kicks off from the frame and turns to leave, but stops and half-turns back to Rei. "Welcome in your new home, sister-in-law." She gives her a toothy grin and then slides the door shut.

"I'm home!" Misato slides her shoes off.

Asuka peaks her head into the hall. "Welcome back, Misato. Dinner'll be ready soon."

The captain waves her off. "No sweat." Strolling into the kitchen, she opens the refrigerator, grimaces and closes it again. "I hate you." she intones dully.

"You can thank me later." Asuka hands her a cup of coffee. "Now sit down and stop sulking."

Misato sighs and takes a cautious drag. "So, how bad was it?"

The redhead wipes her hands on her apron and crosses her arms. "Bad isn't the word I'd use." Just then Ayanami enters from the living room and she asks: "Honestly, Rei, didn't you think to clean your place at all?"

Rei stops short and gives her a confused look. "I did not think it necessary. It was agreeable."

Asuka gives her an exasperated look. "Agreeable? Agreeable!? That place was a pigsty filled with nothing but concrete, trash, and fifty pairs of white underwear."

"I object. Some of my underwear is mauve."

That leaves Asuka frazzled. "Some of your... RRRRRAAAAAAGH!" She whirls around. "Shinji! I have no idea why you were so frakking worked up over your father not raising you, when clearly the only result of Commander Ikari trying to raise a child is this... this... this apathetic Misato!

Misato chokes. "Hey!"

Rei raises a hand. "Question."

Asuka's eyebrow shoots up. "Yes? And don't raise your hand, we're not in school."

Ayanami blushes and asks: "Does this mean Shinji is Dr. Akagi?"

The redhead stops short. "What?"

Shinji turns around away from the stove. "Wait, why do I have to be Dr. Akagi?"

The albino almost smirks. "You're the belligerent sibling figure. It only makes sense that you would be her."

The boy swallows at what he is about to ask: "Doesn't that make Asuka Kaji?"

Asuka's jaw drops. "Wait, hold on just a second..."

Rei ignores her and answers: "I've seen Mr. Kaji engaging in flirtatious actions with Dr. Akagi, so it is possible."

The redhead huffs. "I'm not Kaji. Well, OK, maybe I'm a little bit...

Shinji obviously finds enjoyment in tormenting his spouse, unwanted sister or not. "That makes Hikari, Kensuke, and Tōji the Bridge Bunnies, I presume?"

"Of course. Kensuke is fitting of Houyga."

"HOLD IT!" Asuka spreads her arms in desperation and both siblings fall silent. "This is a distraction. Rei's trying to lead us away from the fact she's a slob."

"Commander Ikari said I was fine." Rei's eyes show signs of defiance.

The German lays a hand to her face and shakes her head. "And the fact that Shinji is apparently the only person in his family that isn't. Come on, let's get dinner done before I go ballistic."

"Ikari, you've got to see this." Fuyutsuki enters the Commander's office.

"Hn?" Gendō looks up from the holographic screen, a note of weariness showing through his façade.

"Here." The Sub-Commander pushes a spot on the desk to reveal USB connectors and attaches a thumb drive. "These are the internal logs of Units 00 through 02, and they are all blank."

Ikari forms a bridge under his nose. "Do we know who tampered with them?"

"Unknown, but I presume it may either be Captain Katsuragi or the Second Child."

"It is the Second. The Captain's abilities are negligible." A small grin forms. "Have Akagi look at the files. Maybe she can restore some of it."

Fuyutsuki raises both eyebrows. "Wouldn't that be less than wise? What if she was the one?"

"Highly unlikely, dear Professor. Besides, who else can we trust?" Gendō Ikari then leans back in his chair. "Dismissed."

Kōzō Fuyutsuki sighs and makes for the door. "I still deem this a risky idea at best."

Author's Notes:

Thanks to LordsFire for reviewing the scene about Rei's move into the apartment and CodyFett for suggesting the scene about her being a slob.

I was planning to have each chapter conclude with an Omake, but I don't really have any ideas at the moment. :P