"I'm going to die."
"I'm going to die without ever kissing Blaine Anderson."
It's probably wrong that the second part of that last statement is more disturbing to me than the first part, Kurt thought to himself.
"This was so stupid. I'm so stupid." Kurt muttered out loud, as he curled himself into a ball on the cold, hard ground. "Yep, that's it Kurt, just keeping talking to yourself like a crazy person. Its not like anyone can hear you anyway."
Kurt opened his eyes and took in the sight of the forest that surrounded him. The dark trees looked ominous in the setting sun, and it was quieter than he'd expected. Maybe he'd scared off the wildlife with his ranting.
It had been a good plan. He'd started hiking a few weeks ago. Trying to slowly build up some muscle but without having to go to a gym. He just wasn't comfortable there, not after all the bullying he'd experienced in high school in the locker room. Plus, he truly loved nature, which none of his friends seemed to believe, since they laughed at him when he told them his plan. He understood why they might think that, after all diva and nature don't usually mix well, but he found the forest soothing. He loved hearing the animals chattering around him, never feeling judged, the way he often did on the crowded city streets of Los Angeles. It was also great for his complexion, after too many hours spent surrounded by smog. He could literally feel his pores soaking in the clean air and the shade from the trees meant he didn't have to worry about the sun.
He'd been on three successful hikes so far. Always sticking to the same trail, each time going a little deeper into the forest. Last time he had hiked for two hours, which he thought was pretty impressive. He was determined to go for at least that long today, but he must have veered off the path at some point. He was too far along this new trail before he even realized what happened. He'd tried to walk back along the same path, but when he passed the same clearing three times, with beautiful purple flowers scattered through it, he knew he was lost.
His cell phone was useless this far in the woods and of course, he didn't have a compass or a map. That was certainly the know-it-all diva attitude that would be his downfall. His only saving grace was that his friends would know he was missing by now. He was suppose to be walking the red carpet at Mercedes' birthday party two hours ago. She knew he was going for a hike, and even which trail he generally followed. She also knew there was no way he'd miss escorting her down that red carpet. Her record label had insisted on a huge party, since her solo album was currently burning up the charts.
Instead he was curled up on the dirty ground, resting against a tree that was surely damaging his lightweight jacket with its rough bark. Not that any of it mattered now. He sang softly to himself, trying to stop himself from crying, he couldn't afford to get dehydrated. Mercifully, he fell asleep as the moon rose high and bright above the trees.
Blaine let out a loud gasp, causing all his teammates to turn around and stare at him. He felt his cheeks turn bright red, as he stammered "I, uh, I know him. Well, not so much know him, as I've seen him around at auditions." And then he spoke more softly, so that only he could hear himself, "Kurt, I'll find you."
Blaine made sure to focus on every single detail they were given. "Kurt Hummel, 24, went for a hike, by himself this afternoon along the Sunset Ridge Lower Trail of the Angeles National Forest. His car has been located near that entrance. I've been informed that he is a fairly inexperienced hiker and usually only managed about an hour inward on foot. We'll start our search here," their Captain said as he pointed to the map on the wall.
Blaine exhaled in relief. He knew that area of the forest well. His determination only strengthened. He would find the boy that had left him breathless with his angelic voice and oceanic eyes.
They were divided into teams. Blaine had three other volunteer Search and Rescue Workers with him. They drove into the woods together, but Blaine immediately separated from them. He would stay in contact by radio, but he was focused on finding Kurt and didn't want anyone slowing him down. He listened carefully as each team reported back unsuccessful searches. Blaine pictured the area in his mind and began shading in all the places that Kurt had not been found. His team was the last group back to the Ranger Office that night and was the first group out this morning.
The sun started to peek through the treetops. Kurt wanted to stand up and start walking again, he wasn't ready to give up, but his body was shivering so hard from the cold, he wasn't sure he could keep his legs steady enough to support his own weight.
But he knew he was too shielded here. It had been good for nightfall, when he was scared and the trees provided comfort. Now, he needed to be as visible as possible if there was any hope of anyone finding him.
He drank the last few sips of water from his canteen and ate the final bite of his power bar. He got to his feet and walked with uneven steps through the trees. The picture of the clearing with the purple flowers flashed in his head. He knew that was his best hope, so he headed toward it.
As he stumbled along the ground, the first two lines from Breakeven by The Script, kept playing over and over in his head:
"I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayin' to a god that I don't believe in."
At this point, he felt like he would promise anything, sacrifice anything, if he managed to get out of here alive. He could only imagine the horror he was putting his father through at this very moment. The thought of Burt spurred him forward as he entered the clearing. He collapsed in the middle, lying spread eagle, eagerly soaking up the rays of the rising sun. It would eventually get too hot for him here, but for now it was actually kind of glorious.
He saw the purple flowers, lilacs, he now realized, poking up from the ground all around him. He inhaled deeply and closed his eyes. The image that greeted him was beautiful.
Kurt had seen Blaine at a couple of auditions, they were clearly not going out for the same parts. Blaine was all strong lines and dark hair, even if he was shorter than the average actor, Kurt still considered him an alpha male. Blaine would be able to play the lead in any of the musical productions they were both auditioning for. After waiting anxiously beside each other a few times in local auditoriums, Blaine had extended his hand toward Kurt and said, "My name's Blaine." Kurt had gotten lost momentarily in the stunning amber eyes glowing in his direction, before he managed to speak a single word, "Kurt."
They chatted briefly each time they saw each other, but it never went beyond that. They had a lot in common and Kurt knew he was crushing hard on Blaine but he didn't even know if the other man was gay.
And now, he would never find out.
Kurt didn't know how long he had been laying there. Time no longer mattered. He had kept his eyes closed, enjoying the images of Blaine that teased his brain. He figured if he was going to die, he was content with that being the last thing he saw.
Blaine felt frantic. The map in his head was almost completely shaded in and Kurt was still missing. He had to find him. He had to make this right. Blaine shook his head violently at that last thought. He knew he was being stupid, but he couldn't help the guilt that was slowly encasing his heart. It was naive and egotistical to think he could have prevented this, but there was a voice, steadily growing in volume inside his head, that had said if hadn't been too shy to ask Kurt on a date, this never would have happened.
That had been Blaine's plan. It had been a good plan. He was mesmerized by Kurt the first time he saw him. He had been the most beautiful man he'd ever seen. Kurt carried himself with confidence and grace and Blaine was instantly smitten. It took seeing him a few more times before Blaine had worked up the courage to introduce himself. And then every time he saw Kurt after that, he intended to ask him out, but Blaine always chickened out. He knew they'd get along, that much was evident from their whispered conversations before auditions, but he was worried that maybe Kurt would say no. And quite honestly, he wasn't sure he could handle any more rejection. He was getting enough of that from his auditions, thank you very much. So instead, he decided it was better to have those few sweet moments together than risk Kurt turning him down and then it being awkward every time they saw each other.
Of course now, Blaine was so angry with himself. If he had asked Kurt out, and he had said yes, then they would surely have talked about Blaine volunteering in Search & Rescue and he would have made sure Kurt stayed safe on his hikes. Maybe he would have even been with him yesterday.
Instead, he was ziplining into a more secluded area of the trail, to search for the man whose voice set his heart on fire.
Kurt heard his name on the wind as it blew past him in the clearing. It sounded glorious and melodic. He knew he must be dreaming. No one had ever made his name sound like that.
But then he heard it again, more clearly, but just as wonderful. "Here," Kurt called weakly in answer as he sat up.
He saw the rescuer enter the clearing, he was in a simple white t-shirt with red lettering and a matching red helmet. He was the most beautiful sight Kurt had ever seen and he couldn't even see the man's face yet.
The man pulled out his radio, "I've found him." He confirmed their location and waited for further instructions as he walked slowly toward Kurt.
Kurt felt his entire body overflow with relief and happiness. He laid back down and smiled up toward the sun. He was rescued. He wasn't going to die. He was going to live. He was going to have a chance to see Burt, Carole and Finn again. He was going to be able to celebrate birthdays and anniversaries and every other special occasion with his friends. And, he was going to see Blaine again. Kurt promised himself right then and there that he wouldn't walk away from Blaine the next time he saw him without finding out if he was gay. If Blaine was gay, then Kurt was determined he would kiss him at his earliest opportunity. He would not risk losing him.
Blaine stopped talking into the radio and dashed forward toward Kurt when he saw the man lay back down in the grass.
"Kurt, are you hurt?" he inquired as he got closer, all his fear evident in his voice.
"Blaine?" He heard Kurt whisper his name. He had recognized his voice. Blaine's heart swelled as he unhooked his helmet and flung it to the side. Then he knelt beside the gorgeous, although a lot paler than usual, man laying on the ground.
"Yes, Kurt. I'm right here. I'm so sorry I didn't find you sooner. I feel like I've been looking for you forever." Blaine's voice cracked as he felt tears forming in his eyes. He reached tentatively forward to touch Kurt's cheek.
Kurt opened his eyes when he heard so much affection in Blaine's voice. He saw the amber glow shine brightly with the mix of sun and tears in his eyes and Kurt no longer had any doubts about Blaine's interest in him.
Kurt smiled sweetly at the gorgeous man reaching for him. He propped himself up on his elbows and leaned into Blaine's gentle touch. He sighed softly as the calloused fingertips stroked his jawline.
That was all the encouragement Blaine needed. He closed the gap between them in one smooth move and brought their lips together. The kiss was slow and sweet and everything Kurt had been dreaming of. When air became a necessity, they both reluctantly broke apart, although neither moved back too far. As Blaine's lips brushed against Kurt's again, he breathed out "Oh, there you are." Blaine wrapped his arms tightly around Kurt and held him close until the rest of the rescue team arrived. He wasn't going to risk losing him again.