Wow, I think this story had possibly the most garbled conception ever. It started with a line from Matilda, then started in one direction, then moved in another. It was all very confusing and now it's kind of crazy. But I kind of like how it turned out.

Oh, and, um, hi, Kate, I stole the mad game line from The View From Heaven. Hope you don't mind. (Which, people, if you haven't read that story, I STRONGLY suggest you do so! And leave a review, while you're at it.)

I own nothing and that's depressing as hell.

"Please," Alex scoffs. "I could get any chick I wanted."

"Right," Izzie replies skeptically. "I'm sure."

"I've got game. I've got mad game."

"Prove it," Cristina suggests.

"What?" he asks.

"Prove it. Put your money where your mouth is, Karev."

"Okay, what's the bet?" he asks.

"A hundred bucks says you can't seduce the woman we pick out," Cristina replies easily. "I win, you do our charts for a month and cough up a hundred dollars. You win, well, I don't know what you want."

"I win, you do my charts for a month, plus I get one of your surgeries. And the hundred dollars."

"No, no deal," Cristina insists.

"Why? It's only fair. After all, I have to do the heavy lifting."

Izzie nudges Cristina. "It's a deal. Who's our choice?"

"It can't be someone easy. There's no way I'm doing Karev's charts for a month."

"It has to be someone in the hospital," Izzie clarifies. "That way we can monitor progress."

"What are we doing?" George asks as he sits down at the table.

"We're picking out someone for Karev to seduce," Cristina answers.

"What about the ex-She-Shepherd?" George suggests.

Cristina grins evilly. "Perfect."

"What? No," Alex stammers, trying to come up with any excuse not to destroy this particular woman's heart. "I work for her."

"So it's that much easier," Cristina replies. "Besides, there's no backing out now. You're seducing Montgomery."

"There's got to be a time frame on this thing," George points out.

"A week," Izzie says. "If you've got all the game you claim you have, that shouldn't be hard."

"Oh, I'll do it," Alex replies easily. Now that the challenge has been made, there's no backing down, even if he hates the fact that it's Addison. Now he has a reputation to protect. And besides, maybe something good will come of it.

"Wait, how do we know you're not lying?" George questions.

"Easy," Cristina answers for him. "Bring us her underwear."

Day One

Addison storms down the hallway, steam practically pouring out of her ears. Her heels beat a sharp tattoo on the floor, one calling for war. If looks could kill, the entire hospital would probably be engulfed in flames right now. People scurry to get out of her way, but she doesn't notice them. No, her sights are locked in on none other than her intern, Alex Karev, who has chosen to completely disregard her orders and convince one of her expectant mothers into a procedure that Addison would have preferred to resort to as a last resort.

"What the hell were you thinking?" she practically screams. "Convincing patients to have unnecessary procedures. Is that how you get off?"

He looks up from the chart he's filling out and smirks. "No. I do that by picturing you naked."

Her eyes widen in disbelief. They've argued before, but he's never been so… crude. "You know what? You just earned yourself a month of rectal exams and scut. Enjoy yourself there."

She starts to turn away, not willing to give him another moment of her time when he says, "You just always think you're right, don't you? Did it ever occur to you to look a little closer at her labs?"

She whips around. "You know what, Karev?" she snaps. "Let me make something very clear to you. I'm smart, you're dumb, I'm big, you're little, I'm right, you're wrong, and there's nothing you can do about it."

"There it is," he says.

"What?" she asks impatiently.

"I just figured out how you get off. Coming out on top. I'm right, aren't I?"

Her jaw drops. "How does a pig like you sleep at night?" she bites out.

The smirk that hasn't left his face during this entire conversation seems to become even more permanent. "I'm hoping with you on top of me."

Instinctively, her hand shoots out and slaps him across the face. Hard. She whirls around and strides off, leaving him to rub his cheek and check out her ass as she walks away.

0ooo0

Damn it, she thinks as she studies the lab work done on her patient. Turns out he was right to have fought for the procedure. The woman's case is far more advanced than she thought.

She groans as she slips her glasses off her face. Today has just left her exhausted. A cursory glance shows that no one is paying attention to her, so she lays her head down on the nurses' station.

"I was right, wasn't I?" She doesn't have to look up to know that Alex Karev is standing behind her.

"I assigned you to scut work, Karev. What the hell are you doing here?"

"Just wanted to be around for the moment when you realized the earth doesn't revolve around you," he replies.

"Okay, you know what?" she snaps, standing up. "You have been absolutely nothing but disrespectful and lewd since I got here this morning. I could sue you for sexual harassment and probably get you kicked out of the program. So I suggest you think very carefully about the next words that come out of your mouth, because I'm sick of you and your attitude."

They're standing nose-to-nose. Even though they're the same height, he gets the feeling that when she said "I'm big, you're little" this morning, she was telling the truth. Right now, she seems ten times stronger than he does. And that drives him crazy.

He grabs her elbow and drags her into a nearby supply closet before she can protest. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" she asks. He grabs her shoulders and crashes his lips down onto hers. She bangs her fists on his shoulders, trying to get him to let go and back off, but if ever there were a more apt moment for the description "tiny, ineffectual fists", he will eat his hat. Besides, the longer the kiss goes on, the weaker her knocks become, until finally her hands come to rest on his shoulders. She starts to deepen the kiss, but then shoves him away.

"What the hell?" she screams. "Don't… don't do that!"

"Why not?" he asks, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Because… because… because you're a pig, that's why!" she scrambles to find a retort.

"You like it, admit it," he smirks.

She inhales noisily, and for one second he thinks she actually might. But then she snaps, "You're disgusting." And for the second time that day, she reaches out and slaps him across the face.

"We're not going to have issues if you're always this rough," he grins. He knows he's being an absolute pig right now, but he's only doing it because he knows it gets under her skin. If he could get her to seriously think about him by being the perfect intern, he would. But that wouldn't make any sort of impression on her at all. Plus, this way is so much more fun.

But now he can see the fury in her eyes and knows it's time to knock off the asshole act. The trick to seducing women like this is to keep them completely off kilter.

He lets her storm out and doesn't see her for the rest of the day.

If Day One is any indication, he's not going to have any charts for a month.

Day Two

She wrings out her hair as she steps inside the hospital. Stupid Seattle rain not understanding the concept of the umbrella and blowing sideways.

As she heads towards the elevator, she's surprised to see Alex Karev falling into step with her. "Here," he says, shoving a coffee cup into her hands.

"What is this?" she asks suspiciously.

"Coffee. Vanilla latte. You look cold."

She studies the cup for evidence of sabotage. "Did you spit in it or something?"

"No," he replies. "I just figured you'd be cold when you got in."

"T-thank you," she stutters. Then her eyes narrow. "Are you trying to get back on my good side? Because it'll take more than just a vanilla latte to do that."

"Nope," he says, holding up his hands in surrender. "No secret motives here. Just thought you'd want coffee, that's all."

She frowns as he walks away, wondering what he could possibly want.

0ooo0

"How the surgery go?" he asks. She nearly jumps out of her skin. She hadn't known he was there.

"Fine," she replies. She takes a deep breath. "You were right to push for it. You saw something I missed and didn't let go. That makes a great doctor."

He laughs in mock surprise, but all he's really thinking about is that she just said he'll be a great doctor. That's like being told you're going to be a great artist by Picasso. "Did the great Addison Montgomery just admit she was wrong?"

"No," she replies with a playful glare. "I simply said you were right."

"Look, about yesterday," he begins.

"You were right, Karev," she interrupts him. "I should have looked more carefully. Now drop it."

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry. Maybe I was right about the surgery, but I shouldn't have gone behind your back. That wasn't right and it wasn't fair to you or the patient."

He walks away again, and she stands in shock. Alex Karev just apologized to her.

0ooo0

She glances up in surprise when he sets his tray down across from hers. "So what do I have to do to get in on a surgery?" he asks.

Her face falls. "I knew it," she exclaims. "I knew you were only being nice to me to get in on a surgery!"

"No, I was being nice to you because I'm not a bad guy. I apologized because… how did you put it? You're smart, I'm dumb, you're big, I'm little, you're right, I'm wrong, and there's nothing I can do about it."

She laughs. "Wow, you remembered that?"

"I was kind of fixated on your mouth when you said it," he admits.

She slams her chair back and picks up her tray, her eyes wide with scandalized disgust. "If this is some cheap trick to get me into bed with you," she snaps, the rage in her eyes clearly finishing that sentence.

"It's not," he lies. He's surprised to find that he feels badly about it. She deserves better.

"Okay, good," she says, calming down. But she still starts to leave.

"Where are you going?" he asks.

"Away."

He grins as she walks away. He's still got five days left.

Day Three

"Dr. Montgomery, can I talk to you?" he asks.

She turns away from the nurse she's talking to. "I'm a little busy at the moment, Karev."

"When you've got time then."

She looks a little taken aback. She had expected him to drag her by her elbow off to a supply closet again. "Okay. I'll be done in a moment."

She wraps up her conversation, then turns to him. "What did you want?"

"Can I talk to you? In private?" he asks, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

Her brow furrows. "Sure." She follows him into an on call room. When the door is closed, he turns and kisses her softly. That's the third time in two days. She yanks away. "What are you doing?" she hisses frantically.

"Kissing you. I thought that was obvious."

"I got that, obviously. Why are you doing it?"

"Haven't you figured that out yet?"

She shakes her head, not wanting to say it out loud. He kisses her again. She doesn't resist this time. She's pretty sure she's lost the ability, and she's certain she's lost the will.

"This is a bad idea," she says when they pull back.

As he thinks of the bet, he replies, "You're probably right."

A slightly panicked look overtakes her face. "I didn't… I mean… That is…"

Instead of trying to finish the sentence, she reaches behind her and locks the door, then presses her lips against his. And then she starts pushing his lab coat of his shoulders, shrugging out of hers as soon as he's freed of his. They fall onto the bed and she pulls her shirt over her head as she straddles him.

The image of her, topless, attacking his lips is probably one of the sexiest he's ever seen. And then he has to go and get a freaking conscience. "Addison," he says, using all of his self-control to push her off of him. She stares at him, trying to catch her breath. "I need to tell you something."

"Yeah?" she asks, her eyes narrowing.

"Don't take this the wrong way, because you're, uh, well… you're beautiful and sexy, but…" He clears his throat nervously.

She wraps her arms around his neck, kissing him deeply. "If you're talking about that bet you have with O'Malley, Stevens, and Yang," she whispers against his lips, "I know everything."

"W-what?" he stammers.

"Alex," she laughs. "Do you really think I would jump into bed with you this quickly if I didn't? I've known the entire time. You guys really need to find somewhere better than the cafeteria to make bets; Callie overheard. So here's what's going to happen. After I use you and your body for hot sex, we're going to pretend this never happened, except for when you share the hundred dollars with me."

"W-what?" he repeats.

"Relax, Karev, I was kidding," she says, climbing off of him and picking up her shirt. "Well, about the sex part anyways. I don't appreciate being turned into some kind of sex game for you interns and if you don't want me to make the rest of your very long career a living hell, I suggest you start doing as I ask. Without backtalk."

"Addison," he says.

"Dr. Montgomery," she interrupts him. "It's Dr. Montgomery to you."

To his intense disbelief, she reaches into her pocket and pulls out a thong. "I believe you need this," she says, tossing it to him. "I expect fifty dollars in my hands before Monday."

Before he can answer, she storms out of the room. He stuffs her underwear into his pocket and tries not to think about how Addison Forbes Montgomery has just become ten million times sexier than the sexiest woman on the planet.

Day Four

"I don't believe you," Cristina states stubbornly. "I don't believe you slept with Montgomery."

He pulls out the underwear Addison (she remains Addison in his mind) had given him yesterday and tosses them at Cristina. "There's your proof."

"Ew!" Izzie squeals. "Put those away!"

"I'm not touching them," Cristina says, scooting away from the spot where they landed on the table.

"Ew, they're touching my plate, they're touching my plate! Get them off! Get them off! Get them off!" George squeals, not thinking clearly enough to pull the plate away from the panties.

Alex rolls his eyes and picks them up and shoves them back in his pocket. "I want the hundred bucks by Sunday," he tells them. "And I'm keeping tabs on your surgeries."

Day Seven

He's spent three days avoiding her. She's spent three days avoiding him. She stuck him back on scut, and he's not too unhappy with that choice. Sure, it's boring, but it's worked rather well. Neither of them wants to deal with the embarrassment.

When Cristina, Izzie, and George pay up, he contemplates sticking fifty dollars in an envelope and just sliding it under her office door, but that seems weird and cowardly. So he bravely knocks on the door.

"Come in," she calls. "Oh," she says when she sees him. "It's you."

"Um, yeah. They paid up," he announces.

"I don't want your money," she sighs.

"Oh, uh, do you, uh, do you want this?" he asks, holding out the infamous thong.

"No, you can keep that. Souvenir or something. Never worn it. Although, I have to say, I'm not exactly happy it was thrown around your table."

"You heard about that?" he blushes.

"I was actually in the room for that one," she admits. "I left after that."

There's silence as neither can figure out what to say. "I'm really busy," she finally admits, sitting back down at her desk.

"Oh. Yeah," he says awkwardly, heading for the door.

She breathes a sigh of relief as he opens it. But then he hesitates, closes it, and turns around. "Addison," he says.

"I thought I told you it was Dr. Montgomery," she replies without emotion and without looking up.

"Addison," he insists stubbornly. She looks up, her cobalt eyes meeting his brown ones. "Would... would things have been different? If there wasn't a bet?"

"What do you mean?" she asks with a frown.

"I mean, if I had kissed you and if there hadn't been a bet. Would things have been different?"

Her breath catches in her throat. "I- I honestly don't know," she replies. "I don't know. What does it matter anyways? There was a bet, so it doesn't matter."

"There's not a bet now," he says, approaching her desk. She swallows and tries to concentrate on the paperwork in front of her.

"That's comforting to know," she tells him, keeping her eyes on her work. "I'd be worried if I was the object of two sex bets in a week."

She glances over at the hand on her wrist, before she's being tugged up out her seat and kissed. She pulls back, surprised at how difficult it is to make herself. "You made a bet about me, Alex. You made a bet you could sleep with me! How am I supposed to trust you after that? How is that fair to me?"

He shrugs. "It's not fair. But nothing ever is. I just want to say… I hope… You should know that I didn't want to."

She glares at him. "Oh, so Izzie held a gun to your head and forced you to try and sleep with me."

"N-no," he stammers. "But I tried to back out when I found out they wanted me to sleep with you."

She looks a little taken aback, even a little offended. "Why?" she blurts out.

"Because I don't want to sleep with you," he responds. Okay, now she looks more than a little offended. "I mean, I don't want to just sleep with you."

"What?"

"I like you," he admits. "I didn't want to hurt you like that."

"But you did it anyways," she whispers.

"I didn't want them to know," he admits. "I know it's a stupid thing to have done to keep my reputation or something, but if they knew… Things would get ugly."

"So you decided that sleeping with me was the better option?" she asks. "And what would have happened after you slept with me?"

"I was hoping you wouldn't find out about the bet," he admits. "I was hoping that maybe you'd figure out that I'm not such a bad choice."

"And then what? You were going to lie to me for the rest of our lives?"

"N-no… I probably would have waited until you were in too deep though."

She frowns at him. "You're disgusting."

"Addison, why does it matter what I would have done? It didn't happen."

"Yeah, only because I already knew about the bet!"

"No, it happened because I was going to tell you. Or did you forget that part? I was going to tell you and let you get angry and hate me, because you deserve better than that."

"You were?" she murmurs, obviously trying to think back on that moment. "You were. You weren't going to go through with it."

"I couldn't," he admits.

"Oh."

"Anyways," he says, heading out the door.

"Alex," she calls after him, rushing around the desk. "Thank you."

"For what?" he asks, perplexed.

"For being so… good," she says. "Not everybody could actually admit to all of that."

"Yeah, well," he shrugs.

"You were really going to tell me?" she asks. "You would rather make me angry than lie to me?"

He nods. "You deserve better than a lie."

She bites her lip prettily. "I'm not sure anybody's ever said that to me and meant it."

"I do," he replies.

"I know," she whispers. "And that's why I'm going to do this."

She tilts her head up and kisses him softly. "That's what would have happened," she says when they part. "If there hadn't been a bet. Now, I have paperwork."

She turns and walks back to sit down at her desk. He watches her for a couple moments. "You can come get me at eight," she says without looking up.

"Huh?"

"Oh, didn't I mention you're taking me out for drinks tonight?" she asks with a smile.

He grins back. "Eight. Got it."

I told you it was kind of crazy. I actually really like it and I hope you did too.

-Juli-

PS I miss George. :(