Written for:
Quidditch League - Holyhead Harpies - Round 10: CHASER 1: 1990's: One Sweet Day — Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men. Optional prompts: 3. (object) ring, 4. (dialogue) "How could you possibly think that was a good idea?", 5. (quote) 'A lot of people I know believe in positive thinking, and so do I. I believe everything positively stinks.' — Lew Col
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry - Magical & Mundane Literature - Task Three: Write about someone with an overactive imagination.
Around the World in 31 Days - Nepal - "Never scare me like that again."
Gobstones: Purple Stone - Sadness, Accuracy - "Don't leave me." Power - stretching, Technique - Blanket
Writing Club - Showtime - Legal Assassin: "I am lost without you here."
The Musical Category Challenge - Lovely Ladies - Write about desperation
Gemstones Challenge - Epidote - Someone attracted to another person's undesirable qualities.
A/N - This is a muggle AU and also a Modern AU
Also, I have a headcanon that Sirius isn't the most stable person… so bear that in mind.
Drama-Queen-Sirius is a thing.
Voicemail
Sirius' fingers shook as he pulled up his recent calls. It was filled with mostly one number - outgoing of course. Never incoming.
He stared at the name for a long time, a finger reaching out to touch it.
He pressed the phone to his ear. Immediately, he was connected to a voicemail.
"It's Remus, I'm not here right now. Please leave a message."
The voicemail sounded genuinely happy to hear from him and Sirius felt that if he just had one more chance to talk to Remus, Remus might actually sound that happy too.
Or perhaps not.
"Remus," he murmured softly, his heart pounding against his chest. "I miss you. I… I miss you so much. I know it's too late now to tell you this, but I just want to hold you and see that beautiful smile one more time. I'm starting to forget what you look like and it scares me!"
He paused, aware of the silence on the other end. He was used to it now. Remus wasn't there to answer. It was only an answering machine, the only way to hear Remus' voice again. He knew one day the mailbox would be full and he'd have to stop, but for now...
Unable to say anything more, he ended the call, his heart hurting for his Moonpie.
As he lay down on the sofa, he heard a faint ringing sound, but ignored it. He watched his mobile until the screen turned black, his eyes fixed on the picture of his soulmate.
...oOo...
"Remus... I haven't heard your voice in so long. Sometimes I... sometimes I wonder if what's in my head was what you sounded like. Was it deeper or higher or softer or louder? It's like a blur now."
Silence followed, but then again, it always did on the voicemail machine. There was no Remus to answer him. No Moonpie to reassure him. Remus had left him. Remus was gone and there was no way to ever get in contact with him again.
"It's too late to hold you now that you've flown away," he admitted to the machine, hoping that Remus would hear his words somehow. "I just assumed that I'd… that you'd always be here so I could forever hold you in my arms." He pulled the phone away from his ear, ready to hang up, but he sighed, resting it against his forehead. "The sun doesn't shine the same anymore without you here to enjoy it with me."
He ended the call when he heard the insufferable ringing again. Really, that was putting him off pouring his soul out to Remus' answer machine - the only way he would ever hear his lover's voice again.
...oOo...
"I found one of your chocolate bars in the fridge. I didn't know it was still there. I remember the last time I saw you take one out, I remember the warnings to leave your chocolates alone. Oh, if I had only listened..."
His voice shook at the memory. It was so perfect. Remus. Cardigans. Chocolate. A Blanket. There was probably a book, Sirius decided. He clung to the chocolate bar and ignored the knock coming from the front door. "Sirius?" James shouted through the letterbox.
Sirius ignored the sound of shouting through the letterbox. "I miss the love we shared," he admitted. There was no point in holding the words back - his heart was already shattered into thousands, if not millions, of pieces and even if he could put it back together one day, there would be so many little cracks and shards missing. His heart would never be truly fixed. "I know I took your presence for granted, but I just assumed you'd always be here. You promised you'd always be here!"
The call ended and Sirius pulled Remus' blanket over his head, trying to drown out the sounds of James' voice as his friend shouted through the letterbox for him to open the bloody door already.
Couldn't James see how much he was suffering? That he just needed space to think about his Moonshine?
Well, James would get the hint eventually.
A few minutes later, the ringing began again. Sirius considered disconnecting the landline. It would just be James. Again. Trying to get him to talk about his feelings or telling him he was dealing with this all wrong. James knew nothing about heartache and slowly dying.
...oOo...
"I have this ring still," Sirius said, slipping the ring on his own finger whilst balancing the phone between his shoulder and his neck. "I was about to ask you.. I tried to ask you, but then… suddenly you were gone from me and our life. Your side of the bed is cold, I can't even sleep in that room anymore, because that bed makes me think of you. James won't stay away, I ate your chocolate. I needed to taste it to remember you."
He knew he was babbling now, but didn't care. He had been without Remus so long, he couldn't even remember the feel of Remus' arms or the way Remus would cuddle up next to him on the sofa with a book. The phone kept ringing in the background and Sirius wandered if he was imagining it and slowly losing his mind.
"It's engraved and full of the love I have for you. Why have you left me?" He found himself waiting for an answer, but knew Remus couldn't reply. It was just a machine he was talking to. He cast around for something more to say and he thought about James' turning up at his home again. He had been shouting through the letterbox once more, talking about how Sirius was overreacting and that things weren't so bad and that they should do something to take Sirius' mind off things.
Sirius had ignored him again.
"A lot of people I know believe in positive thinking," he found himself saying, "and so do I. I believe everything positively stinks." Sirius sighed. "It all stinks because you aren't here to make everything wonderful again and sometimes people can be too positive. James is only making the hurt feel worse in my heart. I'm lost without you here."
He hung up the phone and flung it further down the sofa. He was so alone. His eyes found the picture of him and Remus on the wall and he memorised Remus' face, not wanting to forget what Remus really looked like. He stretched out, not wanting to move from the spot he had made for himself. He had Remus' pillow and blanket and didn't need anything else.
...oOo...
"Remus?" Sirius couldn't believe his eyes. This had to be a dream!
Remus pushed the door the rest of the way open and pulled in his small suitcase. "Sirius. I was so worried! Never scare me like that again!"
"You were worried?" Sirius asked, jumping up. "You have no idea what I've been going through here!" He rushed over to Remus and grabbed him, clutching him tightly. "I've missed you so much. I thought I'd never see you again."
Remus hugged him back, before pulling away. "So… when you proposed on the phone the other day, I was shocked… I actually dropped my phone and broke it. Why haven't you been answering the house phone? I still haven't memorised your new number and couldn't get through on the house phone and James said he wasn't getting an answer when he stopped by. I rushed back! I thought something had happened."
"You're here now. Never leave me again!" Sirius ordered, still clinging somewhat to Remus.
Remus smiled at him, his gaze moving from the mess of hair that was carelessly pulled back, to the pyjamas that he knew weren't clean. "Why don't we get a takeaway for dinner and stick Netflix on, cuddle and you could re-ask that important question you mentioned on the phone?" he suggested. "I just need to put my bag away. Uh… why don't you hop in the... " Remus hesitated, knowing Sirius would take offence if he worded something badly. "You know, I could really use a shower after my journey, fancy joining me?"
Sirius nodded eagerly. "Of course, love." He moved away from Remus enough for Remus to be able to close the front door. "Let me put that in the bedroom for you." He grabbed the suitcase and walked away with it.
When he returned, Remus had the house phone to his ear. "Just checking my voicemails," he murmured to Sirius.
"Uh… I love you," Sirius reminded Remus nervously.
"Love you too, Sirius. You…" he trailed off and began to frown, his eyes fixed on Sirius. "Sirius… this…" Remus shook his head, his lips starting to form words that he didn't say. Sirius waited patiently.
In hindsight, he might have overreacted slightly.
"You ate my chocolate?" Remus finally asked after listening to so many messages, he had lost count, his eyes narrowing. "I hid that in the back of the fridge for a reason!"
"I'm sorry," Sirius quickly told him. "Forgive me?"
"I just… how were you forgetting what I look or sound like?" Remus continued. "There's a picture of us on the wall. My voicemail has a recording of my voice. It's only been a week since I left - four days since my phone broke. I cut my trip short to get back here."
"They aren't the same as the real thing," Sirius replied, pouting. "Didn't you start forgetting what my voice sounded like too?"
"Of course not," Remus replied sternly. "I could never forget, even if I tried. Sirius, we went over this last time I went to see my parents, do you remember?"
"Yeah, but this time you weren't answering the phone at all. I thought you hated me after I proposed on the phone and—"
"Sirius," Remus said, halting him and taking his hand. He pulled Sirius over to the sofa and they sat down. "I could never hate you. I just want you to really think things through in the future."
"When you leave me again?" Sirius muttered sadly. "You can't! Don't leave me!"
Remus chuckled. "You've proposed to me, and if my phone hadn't have broken, I'd have said yes. As my fiance, you'll be coming with me next time to see my parents."
Sirius smiled. "Really?"
"Yes, really. Now… I think y...we could really do with shower."
"And you won't leave me again?" Sirius checked.
Remus looked around the living room at the mess. Blankets were strewn over the sofa they were sitting on, along with Remus' pillow, and there were food containers everywhere. It looked like Sirius had just lived on the sofa for a week.
"There's no way I'm leaving you alone again," Remus confirmed as Sirius grabbed Remus' hand and slipped the plain engagement ring onto his finger. "But you better call James first and apologise. He's been worried sick."
"He can worry until after our shower," Sirius murmured, his hands moving from Remus' down to Remus' lap. He quickly popped the button open. "Hurry up and undress love, it's been a week and feels like forever."
Remus nodded. "Pack a case tonight. We'll go back up tomorrow." His hand ran up Sirius' arm, causing Sirius to wince when Remus' fingers touched his shoulder.
"What did you do?" Remus asked at the guilty look on Sirius' face.
"Well, I thought it was only fitting that…" he trailed off. "Remus, I got a tattoo. It's a picture of a moon because you're my Moonpie."
Remus closed his eyes and silently counted to ten. "How could you possibly think that was a good idea?"
"Because then everyone knows that I'm yours," Sirius replied firmly. "It's also got your name under it. Would you like to see?"
"Sirius, you know tattoos are for life, right?"
"Yes and so are we," Sirius murmured confidently. "It looks sexy, trust me. You'll love it as much as I do! So… we're good, right?"
"Despite those messages, I wouldn't change you for the world," Remus assured him softly. "I love you exactly as you are."
Big thanks to Raybe for helping with this, and to Lizzy, Bex and Sam. :)
Review Please :)
Sorry I haven't written recently - flu