I watched the trees as they zoomed by on my way back to my second home, Hogwarts. The train was colder than usual, I thought, as I pulled my legs to my chest. I listened to Hugo shouting with glee as he beat his older sister Rose in Wizards chess for the third time. It was the only thing he was better than her at so he took pleasure in it when he won. They were both a perfect mix of my aunt and uncle. Rose at 16 had her mother's petite features and brown eyes, but her father's wide shoulders; her hair was the Weasley orange-red, but bushy like her mother's; she was smart like her mother, but had received both of their stubbornness. Hugo, on the other hand, at 15 was tall and lanky like his father with curly brown hair and blue eyes. He wasn't the smartest bloke, but was clever in his own right.
I turned to the window once again examining my own features. I had finally grown into my woman body over the summer. I was sure I would be flat chested forever, and then suddenly one morning I had boobs. I was still quite petite though, and at 5'4 I was quite content with not getting any taller. Although a red head like most of my family, my red hair was different. I am often told I look like my late grandmother and namesake Lily Evans. With my wide emerald green eyes and long dark thick red hair, I never did look like other girls and that I am grateful for. It seems as though from the moment I left my mother's womb I was being compared to someone or another, and so growing up I often felt as though I wasn't good enough, a feeling I have never been able to shake. It didn't help that my two older brothers, both spitting images of my father, are damn near worshiped by the wizarding world at large.
"Lily! HELLOOOOO?" I turned abruptly, I hadn't realized that Rose had been calling my name.
"Sorry, I was in my own world, what's up?"
She looked at me indignantly, "Yes, I know, you're always in your own world. I was asking about my jumper that you borrowed last week, I need it back, it's freezing in here."
I winced lightly, "Oh sorry! There wasn't enough room in my trunk for all my clothes, so I had to put some of them in Al's trunk. I'm pretty sure your jumper is there. "
"Ugh! Lily! I'll never understand how one girl could need soooo many clothes. The least you could do is go and get it for me."
I laughed at her complaining about my love of clothes, "Well I am a slytherin after all. It's in the handbook ALL SLYTHERINS MUST DRESS WELL."
She laughed loudly, throwing a chess piece at me.
Hugo looked mutinous, "Hey! Those are mine!"
I laughed and slipped out of the compartment, as they began to bicker some more. I had to admit, I do have a sick obsession with fashion, I thought as I looked down at my perfectly pressed dress, my towering high heels, and perfectly manicured nails. I guess it was my way of covering up the insanity going on inside of my head that I at least looked well put together.
As I walked into the compartments looking for Al and James, who were no doubt together, I bumped into a very solid someone. As my bottom hit the ground, I heard laughter. I looked up to see a group of my fellow house mates, led by Scorpius Malfoy.
"Ohhhh look who grew up over the summer," I heard the voice of Adrian Flint somewhere within the pack of five boys. Malfoy looked as though he was considering helping me up but then thought better of it. I stood up dusting myself and glowered at the boys angrily.
"Nothing to say Potter princess," Another of the boys sneered.
"I don't have time for your childish games," I attempted to sound dignified.
"You always were a prissy bitch," Flint replied stepping close to my face.
"Says the loser who followed me around for months trying to date me all last year," I spat angrily at him.
As a fellow Slytherin house mate, I was assigned to be Flint's charm tutor. Somewhere along the way he had decided he was in love with me, and made a big show letting everyone know whenever I was around. He wasn't at all bad looking, but he just wasn't my type. He was pushy, and mean. Not exactly a turn on for me. Before I knew what was happening he had a fistful of my hair and his wand to my throat. I could hear his friends in the background trying to pull him away, saying he was going too far, but with his wand to my throat it was a touchy situation.
He leaned in close to my face "Listen here you daft cunt! You don't want to mess with me; I will make your life miserable." And then he was kissing me. I screamed and pushed him away, when I heard the voice of my brother James.
"Touch her like that again and I will curse you into ash," His voice was low and menacing.
Flint looked at me and sneered "Always need your big brother to come and save you don't you little lily. Well remember, he won't be around forever." He looked demented as he turned to run the opposite way, his friends following quickly, Malfoy stayed.
"I apologize on behalf of my friend. He gets quite carried away sometimes," he looked truly sympathetic. It was strange seeing his normally very controlled emotions contorted in such a way. His icy grey eyes were watching me, waiting for a reaction. Unfortunately, James beat me to it.
"Yeah, well you and your psycho friends stay away from her! If I hear that any of you were within an inch of her, I will personally obliterate you! Let it be known." James turned away wrapping his arms around my shoulders, leading me back to his compartment where Hugo and Rose were now crammed along with Al, Fred, Louis, and Frank Longbottom.
As James relayed the story to them, I thought about what had happened. Flint had always been a little crazy; perhaps it was in my own best interest that I didn't taunt him into attacking me again. But Malfoy, was another matter altogether. I couldn't shake the sincere look on his handsome face. Suddenly I felt very regretful that I hadn't said anything to him about it. While we were in the same house, we had never really spoken to one another. My brothers hated him, and while I didn't share the sentiment, I wasn't going to test the waters either.
"Oh Lily! Are you sure you are alright?," Rose asked me for about the hundredth time.
"Yes, yes, I am fine. Don't worry." I said exasperated.
"I think we should set up shifts to watch you, just to be sure Flint doesn't try something again," Al chimed in.
"Yes! That's a perfect idea Al! Merlin knows Little Lily can't look after herself. "
"Let's set up shifts."
And suddenly my family began plotting out who was going to watch me and when. I angrily stormed out of the compartment. I sat just outside of the door. My whole life my family has spoiled and coddled me. To some that might sound like a great thing, but I hate it. I want to test my own strength, find my own courage, and I don't see how I will ever be able to do that when I constantly have my family always doing things for me. I hear them in constant replay in my head like a bad tune, "little lilly can't do this, little lily can't do that, James pour little lily some juice she might spill it, Al pick up this trunk for little lily she might hurt herself, Rose show little lily how to do this spell she is too young to know it already…". They often made me feel as though I was incapable of doing anything myself. I was ecstatic to be placed in Slytherin, away from my family of Gryffindors. I relished the opportunity to be on my own, and yet, I was never really alone. They still took every opportunity to watch over me, just as the rest of the world took every opportunity to place their expectations on me. I just couldn't win. As the tears began to well up in my eyes, I heard someone else come out and sit down next to me.
"Don't let them get to you. You know they all just worry," Hugo said handing me a handkerchief.
I sniffed and dabbed at my eyes trying not to ruin my mascara, "I know, I know, but I hate when they call me little lily. I hate how they act like I can't do anything myself! I'm tired of them making me feel like I'm not good enough! I mean, Albus and Rose are only one year ahead of us. Why do they think they can take care of me, but I can't take care of myself?"
"I know lils. It's just the haphazard of being the youngest ones in the family. I get it too. We come from great witches and wizards. People will always compare us and well…we can never be as good as them. " Hugo hung his head sadly.
"That's not true Hugo! We are just as good as them! This is our year Hugo." I said to him fiercely.
He looked up at me with determination in his eyes, "Let's make a pact. This year we show them, we show everybody, we are more than our families."
They grabbed each other's hands and nodded both silently agreeing to this pact. Little did they know someone was watching them and as the cousins agreed to prove they were more than their families, this stranger made the pact with them silently agreeing "I am more than my family as well".