Disclaimer: I own nothing.
A/N: This little one-shot popped into my head while listening to O-Town's "All or Nothing". It is the first thing I have ever written from James' point of view, so go easy on me.
I know about Chase. You think I don't, but I do. How could I not? I basically stepped into his empty spot before the dust was even able to settle. Michael and Logan won't tell me anything except that he was your best friend, but that doesn't stop the rest of the school from filling in the gaps. Kids still buzz about his love for you, and how it was so romantic that he followed you to England. I've seen the confused looks when I take you out on a date.
I know about him, but I don't ask. I want to, but I don't. I want to know what he did that was so amazing in your eyes. I want to know how I can get you to look at me the way you look at the picture of him and the guys Michael keeps on his desk. I want to know what I can do to wipe away that look of sadness that comes over you when I call your name and you look up to find that it's me, and not him. I want to know why you told him you loved him, and then agreed to go out with me. Most of all, I want to know what I can do to make you love me. I know if I were to ask, you would lie to spare my feelings, but I can see it. Your eyes light up when someone mentions his name. You get this distant look when you think about him, and I've been seeing that look more and more.
It would be easier if he were here. I haven't gotten into a fist-fight since I was a kid, but a real fight is so much easier than trying to fight with a shadow. A memory. The ghost of something that should be but isn't because I decided to ask you out. I'm in the way of the best couple of P.C.A. and as much as I know it, I can't bring myself to end it. I'm selfish in that way.
I want to shout that this isn't fair. I want to give you ultimatums and make you choose. Choose between him and me. But in my heart, I know what the answer would be. I love you, but this relationship was doomed from the beginning. Now, it's just a matter of when the timer runs down to zero. In asking for all or nothing, I get nothing and he gets it all. But isn't that the way it is already?