A Shingeki no Kyojin Fanfiction—A Right Decision
Disclaimer: Uh, shouldn't even be asking about that I suppose.
Character(s): Eren Yaeger/Levi Ackerman, the Special Ops Squad
Genre(s): Angst, Tragedy, Friendship
Rating: T for (mainly Levi's) language. Uh-huh.
A/N: …wow. Woooooow. I really couldn't believe I'm back into writing a fanfiction again. Doesn't mean between the times I've abandoned the anime and manga world! I'm working at a manga office, aren't I? That should explain all. Yeah, so, just like my most other stories, this one contains a quite heavy angst atmosphere. My type. And, I'm remembering you, English IS NOT my first language, so pardon me for any wrong grammars. I don't know. I feel like I've improved at grammars. Ah! Enough chit-chat. So this is my first SnK fanfic (I'm currently into SnK for the past one year), please be gentle to me. Enjoy, and don't forget to leave your review because that'd be lovely knowing what you people feel when you read my stories. Again, enjoy!
Sure, he was never a great learner. He knew his weaknesses, and he worked so hard to overcome it.
That's what grabbed Levi's attention when he was taking care of him. But what really took his interest first were his eyes. Levi liked it when his emerald eyes glowed with determination; because he felt like his eyes gave him some more powers to fight, to brace the pain of losing more friends. It gave him some strength, and he was relieved that maybe he wasn't the only one who was willing to sacrifice his important ones.
But now…
His breathing was ragged.
His chest was almost ripped open, slowly gushing pool of blood beneath him. His usual glowing emerald eyes were now dull, but still showing his strong will power.
Levi looked down at a battered body on the ground with his usual unreadable expression, kneeling beside it. Though, his stiff exposure betrayed what he was feeling. His usual calm and collected figure was nowhere to be seen. His eyes had widened and flattered in a wave of expecting emotions that he rarely showed – oh no, he wasn't heartless. He never was.
Not you, brat. All of people but you! Don't you dare to die on me! Hell, after all the casualties we have gone through for you and you're just going to leave us like this? Damn, just so you know I will bring you back from hell to life just to kill you all over again!
"Cor… poral… Levi…" he creaked out, voice harsh, wincing with every pained breath he took. Trail of blood streamed down from his lips, evidence that he was dying. "I… d-didn't… make a… wrong d-decision, did I? You see… I… don't re-regret it… at all… Everyone's… here… but I'm s-sorry… about Gunther-san…"
Cough. More blood.
Levi grabbed the hand (which was, again, covered in crimson of red) so tight that it was hurting his palm. His body slightly trembled from a mix of indescribable of feelings running his head, his heart, and – what the hell was this funny sensation in his stomach? He couldn't tell. Why would he grab the hand first before the dying one asked him to? He usually never. The brat should be no different. He was just like the others, a mere soldier. So why?
But Levi knew all along. The kid had grown close to him, in a way. While he just a nosy kid, call him a whining bitch, even. Levi was always too careful not to grow close to someone, because he knew it would hurt him to no end if they were to be separated, and hell, he had never been able to bear the guilt every time one of his comrades die on him. But he was too ignorant to this brat; he was a dear brother to him, a family to protect. Yet there he was, failed to protect his precious ones, the ones he cared for slowly dying on him. He had never succeeded in protecting them, and this time was no different. Was he going to continue to survive by all himself while those who acted under his orders not?
He couldn't bear it anymore.
"No," Levi breathed out, throat was so dry, swallowing back his sob with all his might. Various of emotions flashed on his hot, almost watery eyes. "It's good then if you don't regret it at all, brat. You've grown into a true soldier. Our brave soldier. You did more than was needed."
"Corporal…" he struggled for a word now. "You're not… crying now… do you? You never were before…"
Damn the brat was right. The tears have failed him now. He was always able to maintain his collected demeanour when bunch of his comrades were killed, ripped apart; because he was a leader, and he was the one who had to be strong for his men. But this was too much. The brat was different. He was a rebelling brother for him, for them, he was way too habitual for his existence near him - them. How the hell was he going to face this, his squad? The kid was somehow had become their little baby brother to tease, to protect: to grow up together with them.
"Your fault, brat," Levi hissed. "Damn it, Eren, don't you dare die on us! After all the difficulties we have – how dare you?! I didn't remember giving you an order to engage in a combat – I know you're made quite good skills, but Aberrants in a damned open area? You were nowhere near me! I told you to leave it to Petra and the others, I ordered you to believe in them! You're so fucking dead!"
The younger boy's eyes had filled with tears too. "I-I'm sorry…"
"Corporal!" Petra's trembling voice cried out from behind them, with Eld and Auluo in tow, in their 3DMG. "The nearest horses with carts are 3 miles away – they're going as they fast as they can! Corporal, is he alright…?"
Levi's head was bow down too low so the three soldiers couldn't see their corporal's face, but his voice was steady and harsh when he spoke. "He's not going to make it."
"But… no! You're wrong. He's going to make it! He always will. He can regenerate his – he can heal the wounds! Eren, do it. You – "
"Petra, get a hold of yourself!" Auluo yanked the girl's arm and jerked it. Petra fell silence; tears were rushing down her cheeks, looking at Auluo and Eld for comfort. When she didn't get one, she broke into cries, and rushed to the dying boy, grabbing his other hand. Her free hand oppressed a clean cloth on the open wound.
"Auluo, Eld, help me! Don't just stand there, help me suppress his wound – here, please! If we can stop it, I'm sure Eren would – Auluo! Eld! Help me! Corporal!"
"Petra-san…" his voice was no mere than a weak, hoarse whisper now. "C-corporal… Auluo-san… Eld-san…"
The four of them now kneeled around him. Levi's grip on the brat's limp hand tightened even more, eyes straight on the emerald ones. He wasn't ready for this. Damn he never would!
"Can… you… t-tell Mikasa… that I'm sorry?" he pleaded, eyebrows furrowing in pain, and he coughed a wet one. "Tell… A-armin… to go to the sea… and prove it to all mankind. I wish… I can go to see it… you have… to go to the o-outside world…"
"We will." Levi's voice had increased a pitch, finally giving in to his feelings. "We will go to the outside world, go to the sea as much as you fucking wanted, brat, so you need to stay with us. Don't go asleep now, or it would be a cleaning to the HQ's kitchen when we get back!"
"Corporal… but didn't you say…?" Petra squeaked, turned at Levi in slight surprise.
"Eren…" Eld put a hand on the wounded boy's shoulder and squeezed it. "You just need to hang on a little longer, okay? When the horses got here, we will fix you right, and we will kill all the Titans, and we will go on to a trip to the outside world. Along with everyone. Right?"
"I'm sorry that I… finally only bring you… more problems… in the end, I c-can't be… useful… I'm sorry… for ruining everything."
"Stop saying 'sorry', damn brat," Auluo grunted, placing his hand too on the wounded one. His usual gruff expression wasn't there, he was merely concerned; and he knew that he was doing better than Corporal Levi at one thing, controlling emotions, finally. But his tone still betrayed him too – it was sincere.
And that question was asked once more; hit Levi more than he could handle, because it was asked too often to him by a dying soldier on his hand hundred times before, "Am I… useful to mankind…?"
Somehow, Levi had finally caught the real meaning behind that simple question, and he let his quivering voice answered almost hastily, "You are not used, Eren. Everyone in here is fond of you, and the equal important of a family member as the others. You are the nosy, whining bitchy kid as I could remember, just like any youngest brother should be. And that should settle all. You understand me, brat?"
"You hear Corporal Levi, do you?" Petra finally whispered softly, putting her wet cheeks on his almost cold hand. "You are an important friend, a trustworthy companion anyone could ask, and a very important family member to us, back and then."
A brief silence.
"P-Petra-san…?"
"Yes?"
"Don't you think…. Corporal Levi… is a way too t-talkative… today?"
Eld chuckled at this and an uncomfortable clutching warm made its way to his chest, for his eyes were already set on drips of tears. "Yeah… you're right."
"Thank… you…" he suppressed a thin smile, a relaxed expression on his face, as if he was ready. "I've lived… a good life…"
"Not yet, kid," Auluo growled. "Not yet, you hear me? Not yet!"
But the emerald eyes began to droop, and Levi blinked blankly. The cold hand on his grip was losing its last ounce of strength, and the breathing had stopped. The mouth was slightly opened; his face was finally in peace, as far as he could say best. This was it? Just like any other bodies they had brought back home inside the walls? How in the world he was going to face his sister, the damn little girl? To bring her home a dead body of her most dearest person in this world?
"Eren, I'm not going suicidal by giving you to her like this. You hear me, brat. Crank up. Now." Almost cold as he used to be, but he failed. The shaky voice and the tears had failed him for the first time in his life.
"Corporal Levi…" Petra let loose the now blood stained white cloth she had been clutching in trust to no avail, and smiled, sobbing her whole word. "Corporal… look, he's sleeping so peacefully now… he has no more pain. He's gone surrounded by his loved ones… us."
Levi wouldn't give a damn anymore. Why would he? Auluo had broken loose too. Why he couldn't, then?
Levi let out a low sobs. He was damn going to cry himself out now, and he didn't give a damn care about what the others would think. He would goddamn break his walls of defense now, because he was too careless to let himself to grow this close to a person ever. But it seemed that the others didn't give a damn care about him.
He didn't let go the bloody hand on his grip even until finally the horses had come to a halt, until the cart was pulled closer to get the brat's body on it, because he would savour every moment he could have by the damn kid's side until the very last moment.
"Levi."
Erwin's calm voice called out, and Levi turned back. He arched an eyebrow, "What is it, Erwin?"
Erwin's hand protruded something glowing to him. "Don't you think it's time? We will settle everything."
Levi's took the thing from Erwin's hand and felt his heart dropped down to his stomach, but he maintained his stoic face. "You've found a route to the brat's home?"
"I believe so." Erwin nodded. "Eren Yaeger's death was never for nothing, and it will never be in vain. I'll make sure of it."
Levi looked down at the key on his hand. He put it into the deep of his pocket and walked away, "You got me in this, Erwin."
Huh, I bet the brat is seeing the sea as much as he wanted to now. Live your life there to the extent, kid, for us in here already have in your part, too. The mankind's counterattack has just begun.
END
Alright, so how was it? I was trying to look inside Levi and understand him more, but I don't think he could handle it forever and I want it to be our favourite Eren to break him loose. Please tell me I do a fine job on it, and tell me in your comments whether you like this or not. Yes, review would be awesome! It makes my heart warm, even the bad ones. Cheerio!
Zennelia
