A normal world meeting was taking place. My brother, America, was acting stupid. What hit me though was his stupid comments to me that I couldn't quite shake after he said them at the start of the meeting, before order was called and he was just talking to me. It hurts still and the meetings almost done. Germany's just taking the last notes down and wrapping everything up.
My boyfriend hadn't even looked my way the entire meeting. Not even a glance, a nod, or a smile to show he cared. I guess what America had said to me was right. 'No one remembers the goody two shoes Canada. No one even cares. It hurts to have to add my boyfriend to the list of people though. I'd thought I could count on him. A month apart, too busy to even talk over the phone together and he doesn't care at all. I missed him during that month. He never once responded to my calls or text messages. Did I do something wrong? No, I have to be perfect. Shoot. My old thoughts were coming back.' I'd thought I'd left them behind. I guess I was wrong. 'Looks like I'm not perfect after all. Can I ever be? I'm hopeless.'
The meeting was finished. I was alone in my hotel room. It became too much. I cut that night. It was the first time in a long while. I was surprised when it hurt to do it again, my last memories of it were of it not hurting. It only distracted me from what was happening. Like music that I could feel. This didn't feel like music. It stung and hurt me. I didn't have my regular supplies there with me. I hadn't expected this to happen. All the stores were closed by the time I cut. I could go after the meeting was done and purchase some bandages. I just hope that the toilet paper I taped to my skin after I was finished washing and pressing on it to hurry up the clotting stays there until the meeting is finished tomorrow. I don't want it to be noticed. I made so many promises to Lars, my papa, Alfred, and Arthur that I wouldn't cut again. They forgot about me right after that though, so would it be alright to 'forget' my own promises. A promise is a promise.
'But, they forgot theirs too. You don't know that. They promised to look out for me. Alfred is the only one that has. My papa and Arthur haven't said a thing to me since Lars told them what I'd been doing six months ago. And Lars, he's even stopped talking to me. I'm pathetic. Relying on their words to me like this, shouldn't I be strong enough to stand on my own? I'm my own country, yet I act so weak. I'm horrible.'
The clock read 11:08 when I stumbled out of the bathroom. I'd cut too deep. Everything felt weird, my head was spinning, and I was too dizzy. I crawled into bed and hoped for sleep. It would help. The clock read 12:47. Then 2:48. Then 3:14. I didn't sleep that night. Not that it would have helped.
I realize this is horribly short, and kind of sad; but, I have school tomorrow and it's 11:00 at night. I'll put the next part up very soon. Thanks for reading.
Post script: does any one else mess up that captcha code like every single time?