Hello! My name is Elsi, and this is the wonderful new project I'm starting - Hollyleaf's Retelling!

If you are new to the my work, this fic is part of my Elemental Universe, an AU deviating from Fading Echoes and rewriting everything up to and after The Last Hope. This fic takes place over a period of like...three years? Something like that. I will always post the time period of the chapter and a corresponding chapter of Elemental to go along with it, if necessary. Usually, I try to make each Elemental fic stand on its own, but with Hollyleaf's Retelling, I'm fairly certain that is going to be impossible. So, I would highly advise getting caught up on Elemental before you read Hollyleaf's Retelling. When I say "caught up," I mean reading all of War of Shadows and Elemental Books 1, 2, and 3. You won't NEED any of that for the first couple of chapters, but later, there start to be spoilers. Essentially, I'm writing Hollyleaf's Retelling and The Final Step at the same time because they eventually spoil each other. Hollyleaf's Retelling will be the FINAL Elemental fic I finish (except Compilations, but I don't really count that).

That's all the warnings I have. PLEASE enjoy! I don't own Warriors, and I REALLY REALLY REALLY don't own the snippet from Hollyleaf's Story at the beginning of the chapter. Note - THE FIRST TWO PARAGRAPHS AREN'T WRITTEN BY ME. THEY ARE TAKEN FROM THE BOOK. They are there to give context as to when my story deviates from canon.

Chapter 1: Falling

Her words seemed to echo from the walls of the tunnel. Hollyleaf wished she could go back to the start of the Gathering, take back the terrible truth she had spilled, spare her Clanmates the pain and shock she had seen in their faces. What have I done?

The constant dark was making her eyes ache. She had been searching for a chink of light for so long that she imagined one had appeared up ahead. The faintest line of something paler than black, like the first hint of milky dawn above the trees. Hollyleaf blinked and shook her head, trying to clear her vision. But the gray stripe was still there. Maybe it was light? She limped faster, ignoring the burn in her hind leg. The light grew stronger. It was seeping from a gap in the wall: another, smaller tunnel leading off. Hollyleaf dragged herself around the corner. Was it her imagination, or could she see the walls of a cave opening out ahead? In her excitement, she tried to stand up. Her hind leg buckled beneath her and stars exploded in her head. The last thing she saw was the stone floor rushing up to meet her.

~Hollyleaf's Story

Hollyleaf opened her eyes to darkness. For a moment, she mewed out into the emptiness, calling for some help. Was she blind now, like Jayfeather, stuck in a world of endless grey?

"Lionblaze?" she wailed. "Jayfeather!" There was no response from her dark surroundings. Swallowing, Hollyleaf pulled herself around, making out a dull beam of light. She sighed in relief. At least she still had all of her senses. Then a wave of agonizing pain washed through her, and Hollyleaf cried out as black pulled her vision in every which way. She collapsed once more.

This time, she thought she could hear pawsteps, and she could smell the soft wave of herbs and water in the air.

"Leafpool?" she whispered, although she didn't really want Leafpool, did she? Hollyleaf sobbed, reaching out with her voice towards the source of the paws.

"Hush…" An unfamiliar but gentle male voice was nearby, and a piece of moss fell before her. "Drink this."

Gasping for air through her sobs and the spasms of pain running up and down her hind leg, Hollyleaf leaned forward and lapped up the sweet, earthy water. It trickled down her throat and soothed her chest, and the cool feeling of hydration swept from her dry nose to the tips of her claws.

"Now lie back," said the voice. "You can sleep, it's okay."

She didn't believe the voice, but her body was protesting doing anything else but sleep, so Hollyleaf moaned lightly and let her pain take her away, far away…

She walked in dreams down a path of yellow-tinted grass, while shadows chased up and down alongside her. It was as if the only thing that was solid was her path, and if she swayed from it, everything would come crashing down. As she walked, she noted that the grass was becoming stained with blood, which was dripping from her paws.

How had that gotten there? Her paws had been clean just a day ago, before any of this had happened. She was absolutely sure that she had cleaned Ashfur's blood off of her paws after she killed him. His body had washed down the river, and so had the blood – off it went, spinning through the foaming river alongside tufts of black fur and the most obvious grey carcass. Hollyleaf shivered. She had to find a new river to re-wash her paws, for dipping them in the river hadn't done the trick.

"Are you coming to visit me, Hollyleaf?" asked a teasing, kit-like voice. Hollyleaf stopped and looked around her, and she thought she saw the mirage-like shadows flicker. "Hollyleaf, Hollyleaf!"

"We all drown together," said another voice, chiding and sweet and terrifying. "Just stick your head under the surface, and we all drown."

"Drown in fire, drown in wind, drown in water," said a third voice, even more innocent than the others. "What would you prefer, Hollyleaf?"

"Who's there?" Hollyleaf called out into the shadows, her pelt bristling, totally on edge. Who was calling to her? Why were they threatening her? There was no water for her to drown in. She was safe. She would be okay.

"Hollyleaf?" Hollyleaf turned her head, towards the back of her path, and there was Leafpool, standing all pristine and pretty. Hollyleaf had always thought that Leafpool was beautiful. It was no wonder Crowfeather had loved her. The image of the two of them, her real parents, caught in her throat and brought tears to her eyes. Leafpool was her mother, not Squirrelflight. She was an abomination.

"Leafpool, what do I do?" whispered Hollyleaf. Leafpool considered the question, tilting her head to the side to observe Hollyleaf.

"You fall," said Leafpool.

And the pathway fell from under Hollyleaf's paws, and she screamed as she fell, down, down, down into shadows and greyness, and kits sung of drowning in her ears.

She sat up with a startled gasp and was staring into bright green eyes. Hollyleaf recoiled, reaching up with her claws to swipe at the newcomer, but the eyes vanished and reappeared.

"It's okay," said a voice. It took a minute, but then Hollyleaf recognized it as the gentle tom-cat voice that she had heard before her nightmares. "Can you sit up?"

Hollyleaf shook her head to dislodge the voices of kits from her ears and slowly sat up, gritting her teeth against the pain in her back leg. Slowly, a scene came together before her: a large, grey cave punctured only with a soft beam of light that flitted from a gap in the roof of the stone enclosure. There was another cat sharing the space with her, someone who observed her without a sound.

He was a skinny little tom, but his coat was a sleek patchwork of ginger and white. His eyes were deep green, and his tail was fluffy and long. He had broad shoulders packed with muscle, but small paws dotted with dirt. Parts of his fur looked as though they had been slicked with mud and stuck up the wrong way, giving him a slightly scrawny appearance.

More importantly, he carried a very small fish, which he pushed over to her. Hollyleaf stared at it for a long moment, blinking away her discomfort. How could she explain that she didn't want this fish? Finally, her stomach growled, and under her hunger and the cat's expectant eyes, she bent over to gnaw at the fish meat. It came apart in her mouth, making Hollyleaf gag at the sour taste, but at last she swallowed it all.

"Not fond of fish, are you?" asked her visitor. "I'm sorry. There's not much variety down here."

"It's fine," said Hollyleaf. "Really. Thank you." She licked her lips, hoping that the taste of fish would go away. "Who are you? And where am I?"

"My name is Fallen Leaves," said her visitor. "You're in one of the smaller caves. Are you another soft-paw?" asked Fallen Leaves, although the tone of his voice demonstrated that he himself doubted his statement.

"What's a soft-paw?" asked Hollyleaf. Her voice sounded gritty and hoarse from lack of use, so she coughed a little bit until she felt her throat clear. "No. I'm…" Well, you're not a warrior of ThunderClan, not anymore. Hollyleaf sucked in a breath, trying to place her words. She didn't want to be a cat of ThunderClan, not of a Clan that continued to tread lightly around the warrior code and the will of StarClan. But where would she go? Was she a loner now? "I came from ThunderClan."

"Oh!" His eyes lit up. "You're Hollypaw, aren't you?"

Hollyleaf blinked and bristled. How could he possibly know her? Bashful, the cat bounced from paw to paw before explaining.

"I know your brother, Jayfeather," said Fallen Leaves. "And I met you when you got lost in these tunnels. I helped to guide you out." He tilted his head. "You don't seem like a Clan cat."

"What?" asked Hollyleaf. Fallen Leaves circled her, making Hollyleaf uncomfortable. His green eyes seemed to be looking for something.

"Well, you're a shadow cat," he said.

"Excuse me?" gasped Hollyleaf. She tried to step away from him, but her hind leg was bound in a thick padding of leaves, making her trip. Hollyleaf looked around her, realizing that a soft nest of cave moss and feathers had been put into place around her. Fallen Leaves stared at her, unfazed. "What did you call me?"

"You're a shadow cat," he repeated. "You're made of shadows, just like I am."

Hollyleaf looked down at herself, but she just saw her plain old self. Was it because her pelt was black? No…his pelt certainly wasn't black.

"I don't understand what you mean," she said hesitantly. "How can I be…made of shadows?"

"Don't worry, they're good shadows," said Fallen Leaves. "I really hope you never get to meet a cat of bad shadows."

"What's the difference?" asked Hollyleaf, turning her eyes up. "And I still don't understand."

Fallen Leaves sat down, a warrior teaching his apprentice.

"Well, there are shadows everywhere," he said. "They make sure that cats stay together, and they are present when we die. They make up our dreams. They make up stars and the night sky." He tilted his head up, and a spare ray of sunlight caught on his nose. Hollyleaf could see in the sunshine that he was, in fact, a little translucent, as if a StarClan warrior. "The good shadows wrap around us when we die and make sure we stay present, you see?"

"So StarClan warriors are made out of…shadows?"

"What's StarClan?"

"Never mind. But I'm alive, Fallen Leaves. And so are you…aren't you?" She posed the question a little hesitantly. Fallen Leaves caught her eyes and stepped out of the sun, a little bashful.

"Sometimes, good shadows lend themselves down to other cats and wrap them up," said Fallen Leaves. It's like you get this ball of shadow inside you, and it spreads until it becomes you." He swept his tail in a wide arc, casting dust up. It shimmered like snow in the falling sun and glittered down on Hollyleaf's nose, making her sneeze. "But they're good shadows. When it's a good shadow, you stay you. You're just a shadow version of you. Sometimes they boggle your mind, make you think differently. I think the shadows make you wiser."

Hollyleaf bit the inside of her mouth until she tasted blood, trying to avoid the inevitable flashes of Ashfur in her mind. Ashfur flailing backwards, Ashfur collapsing under the weight of her jaws in his throat. She swallowed. Had there been shadows involved then? Had she been wise then?

"And what about the bad shadows?" asked Hollyleaf in order to distract herself. If he noticed her panic, Fallen Leaves said nothing of it.

"The bad shadows do the same thing, except you don't stay you." Fallen Leaves sounded troubled by this proclamation. "It's like they take you apart from the inside, until there's nothing left but shadow. They make you a darker version of you."

"And you and I are…?"

"Made of good shadows," said Fallen Leaves. "The shadows sustain me. They chose me to stay here, which isn't that bad. I don't know why they chose you, but judging by how quickly your leg is healing, they must want you alive."

Hollyleaf looked down at her leg, suddenly realizing that she had been putting weight on it without much problem. There was only a dull ache in her joints now, but that wasn't so bad. Was she to thank these…shadows, then?

"How do you know healing?" she said as Fallen Leaves bent towards her leg. He looked up, his green eyes shining.

"Where I came from, we all know a little bit of healing," he said softly.

"And where is that?"

"Above the surface," said Fallen Leaves idly. "Above the surface moons beyond moons ago. In another era, almost."

He looked away, his eyes clouding painfully. Though she had more questions, Hollyleaf decided to keep them to herself. Fallen Leaves gave a bashful smile.

"I'll leave you, then," he said. As he said this, he drifted back into the shadows.

"Wait," Hollyleaf said desperately. She was leaning towards him, but she winced and laid back down as her leg gave a pang. Fallen Leaves observed her from the shadows. Hollyleaf stared at him for a few moments, her heart empty. She didn't want the nightmares to come back, or the memories – which were even worse. How could she even begin to think about ThunderClan again? It was far too easy when she was alone. She didn't want to be alone.

"I won't be far away," said Fallen Leaves. "Rest now."

She wanted to call out again, but she found she had nothing to say. Then she was alone in the dark.

X

"You're doing much, much better," said Fallen Leaves warmly. Hollyleaf beamed at him from across the den, turning and walking towards him. "I expect you'll want to go back to your family soon."

"No!" Hollyleaf's ears flattened, and she shut her eyes as images of Jayfeather and Lionblaze and Leafpool flashed on the insides of her eyelids. "No…no, I can't go back."

"They're your family," said Fallen Leaves, sounding perplexed. He paused for a few moments. "I would give anything to see my family again."

"What happened?" The words spilled from Hollyleaf's lips before she could help herself, and Fallen Leaves looked up, surprised.

"It's a long story, and not a happy one," he said, turning away. Hollyleaf sat down in front of him.

"It's not like I have anything else to do," she said.

"M-maybe another time." Fallen Leaves' whiskers twitched, and he turned away. For a cat that was made of shadows from moons upon moons ago, he certainly acted like a young warrior. Hollyleaf wondered when the last time another cat had really and honestly spoken to him had been.

"Okay," she said. "But you shouldn't keep everything secret."

"What about you?" said Fallen Leaves. He tilted his head. "You say you won't go back to your family. Why is that?" He looked as if it had personally offended him. "I've seen both of your brothers. They're kind, good cats."

Hollyleaf observed Fallen Leaves, a little startled at his frankness. Then she sighed.

"It's not that I don't love them," she said softly. "I…I made a mistake. I hurt my Clan."

"I'm sure they would forgive you," said Fallen Leaves.

"I'm not sure I forgive me," said Hollyleaf, laughing nervously. Her companion's eyes were full of concern. She shifted back to her nest, trying to focus on the dull ache in her leg instead of the dull ache in her heart. "I thought for my entire life that I was a good, strong cat. I was part of a prophecy. I had great parents, and great littermates. I was training to be a warrior. I had a wonderful life."

The story spilled out of her as easily as the river trickled into the lake, and then she was going on and on, letting it all go, explaining her feelings in the moment, her mind spinning as she did so. It was reliving everything at once, each moment and memory of her entire life coming out of her. Fallen Leaves didn't say a thing until she was finished, and then he sat down beside her. His pelt was chilly, but Hollyleaf could feel him there. She would have thought him to be somewhat immaterial. He was anything but. Fallen Leaves' scent brought her to days past, of sunshine and tall grass and new saplings where she now knew massive oaks. She could nearly taste his entire life just by sitting next to him. It was easy to tell what he missed, for he no longer smelled like sunshine and tall grass and new saplings per say – more like the absence of them. Hollyleaf couldn't describe how it felt to breathe his outside yet secluded smell.

"I've met your littermates," repeated Fallen Leaves. "I think they would take you back. If they are indicative of your…ThunderClan, then I think everything would be fine."

"I told you," said Hollyleaf quietly. "I don't know if I want to go back." She turned her head. "I don't think I'm part of the prophecy anymore. I think StarClan cut me out of it. And how could I face them? Any of them…I don't belong there. The Clan hurts."

"You love them," said Fallen Leaves quietly.

"Yes," said Hollyleaf. "I love Jayfeather and Lionblaze."

"But you can't love yourself," said Fallen Leaves. Hollyleaf blinked at that, and she stared at him. "I understand. For a while, I couldn't love myself either."

"What changed?" said Hollyleaf after a few desperate seconds had passed between them. "I'm sorry. I know you don't like to talk about it…"

"Your Clans came to my lands, and I met cats like your brother. Jayfeather." Fallen Leaves said it all softly. "I guess I realized I could help others. That I was put here for a reason."

"What reason is there for my existence?" said Hollyleaf. She gazed up at the rotund ceiling of the cave. "I shouldn't exist. My birth shouldn't have happened."

It was breaking two codes. Hollyleaf had been so in tune with the warrior code her entire life, and knowing that she herself was in violation of both the warrior code and the medicine cat code…how was she expected to deal with it? She was wrong. There was nothing more to it. She was a lie, a mistake. Maybe she shouldn't be living anymore.

"I'll leave you to rest," said Fallen Leaves in a soft voice. "I'll be back to check on you."

"Why bother?" said Hollyleaf. "Why not let me die?" The words came out as a spit, and she shivered from the tip of her pelt to her nose. Fallen Leaves couldn't meet her gaze, and he walked slowly across the den.

"You are in trouble, and you need my help," he said. "I could never leave a cat like you alone, not even if you ask me."

"What happens when I recover, then?" said Hollyleaf. Fallen Leaves sighed.

"Then I suppose you'll want me to show you the way out," he said. "It isn't my business whether or you not you go back to your family and your group."

"Have you ever left?" said Hollyleaf.

"This is my home," said Fallen Leaves. He glanced back. "I am a cat made of shadows, but I am not…as some say, incorruptible. I don't make my own choices."

Then he left into the dark. Hollyleaf sat there staring after him, wondering why she felt so guilty and inclined to call him back.

SO very much drowning. Wow, I'm so excited. Hollyleaf and Fallen Leaves. A dream.

Essentially, this story came to me after I realized that I had entirely ignored Hollyleaf in Elemental. I came up with reasoning for it and plugged her back in. If you aren't caught up, Hollyleaf features in prologues of Book 1, a few chapters in War of Shadows, and...(I haven't finished chapter 1 so I shouldn't be telling you this but oh well) the prologue of Book 4. Get pumped. Everything is about to connect, and Hollyleaf is a walking connection.

If you are as excited as I am, or if you just want to comment on this chapter, I would love to hear from you! Don't forget to follow so you can keep updated as to when I update! Unfortunately, there are 15 chapters of Hollyleaf's Retelling and 39 chapters of The Final Step, so...the update schedule on this one isn't promising. Still. I would love your support. Thanks, everyone!

~Elsi