Mommy Dearest

Hitomi Hyuga

I have never been a morning person. You wouldn't have to do much research to confirm that fact; really, all you would have to do is ask someone who knows me. My friends can all attest to having tried to wake me up at least once, and it has never ended well for any of them. Sleep is a luxury I can't often afford because of all the extra paperwork and finance reports I do for the Host Club on top of my regular schoolwork, and anyone who tries to take away what few precious hours I let myself have instantly becomes my worst enemy (temporarily, of course). However, it isn't a mistake that people seem to make twice. Most of my friends and acquaintances who have woken me up and felt my wrath apologized profusely and have yet to do it again. However, there is one repeat offender that never seems to learn his lesson.

"Kyoya! Get up, the maid is going to bring us breakfast!"

The sound of his chipper voice only made me burrow deeper into the covers to get away from it. I've said it before and I'll say it again, no human being has any right being so perky in the morning, especially a human being as obnoxious as Tamaki Suoh.

"C'mon, up and at 'em! It's a beautiful day!" Without warning, my covers were ripped away from me and the morning light was streaming through my window and right into my eyes (blast whoever decided that my bedroom should have east-facing windows). I groped for my sheets only to find that he had actually taken them entirely off of my bed, damn him. "Kyoya, darling, it's time to wake up!"

I grumbled and threw a pillow at him. "No one of sound mind and body should be awake at this ungodly hour, now give me back my covers and go the hell back to sleep." My head pounded with each word. Unfortunately, his merriment was not to be quelled by my morning crankiness.

"Nope! Remember, we're going to school to decorate for tomorrow's Host Club meeting, so you need to wake up and have breakfast! I won't have you on an empty stomach, so rise and shine!" He sat down on the bed and shook me; it was as if he wished to die right then and there.

"Stop," I muttered, grabbing my remaining pillow and holding it over my head. "Just give me five more minutes."

"Oh, so five minutes can turn into ten? And ten can turn into thirty?" He began to prod my shoulders. "I don't think so, my dear. Better now than never!"

"That's not even the correct phrase, you moron," I said, rolling my eyes (while my head was still covered, which doesn't quite make sense in hindsight. But I digress). He continued prodding me as if I hadn't said anything. His finger inched lower and lower until he poked a spot right between two of my ribs, making me jump. The invading sunlight flooded my blurred vision and worsened my headache.

"Ooh, did I hit a sensitive spot?" he purred (yes, purred, it's the only word I can think of to describe the sound that came out of his mouth). "I'll have to remember that one next time I need to wake you up."

I rubbed my eyes and reached for my glasses on the nightstand. "Exactly why did we pick last night to do that?" Even in my groggy state, I remembered quite clearly the events that had taken place the night before. It had taken a while for me to feel comfortable around him the day after, but once we had found our place together, the morning after became routine. I began to reorganize my bedroom, which was a mess of my stolen sheets as well as clothes that had been strewn all over the room.

"Well I think we'd planned on working through the themes for the next month of Host Club meetings, but we might've gotten a little…distracted…" His cheeks reddened as he spoke.

"Oh grow up, it wasn't anything we hadn't done before," I scoffed. Honestly, at what point does it not embarrass him and make him blush like a schoolgirl?

"That's not true!" he piped up. "We tried a few new things, remember? I know I do…" My stomach dropped as the memories came rushing back. He must've noticed my reaction, because he wrapped his arm around my waist and nuzzled my cheek with his. "I thought it was rather fun, didn't you?"

I brushed his hand off of me and turned my head from him. I tried so very hard to pretend to be invested in cleaning my room. Who was I kidding? There was no hiding the fact that I had thoroughly enjoyed our encounter.

"But you of all people, a sub? I never would've guessed." He smirked, making me blush.

"I like what I like, that's all there is to it. I thought you weren't the judgmental type," I said coolly. Trying to keep my composure during this exchange was proving to be increasingly difficult, especially in a certain region that was making my pajama bottoms grow tight.

"Oh no, certainly not," he said, waving his hands. "I enjoyed myself, I really did. I was just surprised, that's all. I mean, half of the things that came out of your mouth during…it's a new experience, you know?"

I sighed. I knew he was only expressing his surprise, not making fun of me. He has his own way of sharing it, and I understood that. In a rare moment of compassion (most of which now seem to go toward him lately), I let myself back into his embrace as a sign that I wasn't mad at him. "I know. And it might take some getting used to, the awkwardness after."

He rested his arm at the small of my back. "We'll get past it. After all, I must say that I enjoyed being 'Daddy.'" His hand drifted lower, making me blush even more. "If I'm Daddy, who does that make you, hm?" I shrugged; nicknames didn't really matter much to me. "Maybe I'll call you Mommy, what do you think?" I didn't care, he could've called me the Queen of France and I would've gone along with it. His lips tenderly met mine, but only briefly. I gave him a pleading look only for him to return with a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Didn't you have some cleaning to do?" The cheeky bastard ran his index finger along my jawline before walking away and sitting on the sofa. "The maid should be here any minute-ACK! Hey!"

I smirked, holding a second cushion at the ready. "If you've got energy to make the mess, you've got energy to clean it up. Now put the sheets back on my bed, Daddy."

"Kaoru, it's upside-down!"

"No it isn't! Look at it, this is right-side up!"

"Kaoru, honey, I hate to break it to you but the eye holes don't go on the bottom of the mask," said Tori at the bottom of the step ladder. Kaoru squinted at it, and his girlfriend pointed at the masquerade mask being pinned to the wall of Music Room #3. "See, his nostrils are on top of his nose, the mask is upside down."

"Are you sure? Look, this part looks like the lips," said Kaoru, pointing at one of the many elaborate embellishments. I cringed a little, knowing that these masks weren't cheap. But what Tamaki says goes, and his current theme was masquerade, Phantom of the Opera in particular. He seemed to be on a theatre kick, and he'd planned a whole month of musical-based themes. Our guests seemed to enjoy our more western-style themes and costumes, so I certainly wasn't going to object.

"There, that's the right way," said Ayame, leaning back and admiring her work. She'd corrected Kaoru's mistake, who was pouting with his girlfriend at the bottom of the ladder.

"How was I supposed to know that wasn't the right side? All the sequins make it hard!" he stuck out his lip, prompting Hikaru to come over and caress his cheek.

"Kaoru, please don't be upset. You did the best you could…" he said in a breathy voice, the voice he always used in their brotherly love routine with the guests. Kaoru's eyes seemed to sparkle as he locked his gaze with his brother's.

Ayame jumped down from the ladder. "Guys, no brotherly love when we're around. It's a little odd, y'know?"

Hikaru scowled. "We have to practice, you know."

"Yeah, it doesn't always come naturally. Even professionals need to brush up on their skills," said Kaoru, his arm around Hikaru's waist.

"Save it, you've already got arm candy right in front of you," said Ayame, tapping Hikaru's nose with her index finger. She began to walk toward the mask bin when Hikaru grinned and chased after her, grabbing her by the middle and swinging her around. Her distinct cackle filled the room as he nuzzled her cheek with his.

Tori looked at Kaoru and slipped her hand into his. "Don't worry, sweetie, I still think you're alright."

He smiled and kissed her forehead. "I'm glad someone does," he said sheepishly. She brushed a lock of hair out of his eyes and stood on her tiptoes to plant a kiss on his lips, which he returned. He ran his hands through her blonde curls as he deepened the kiss.

"While I certainly don't mind public displays of affection outside of the club, please do not make it a habit, especially when there's work to be done." The two of them nearly jumped out of their skin as I interrupted them, which made Ayame laugh.

"Seriously, get a room you two," said Hikaru. I rolled my eyes, knowing he was certainly one to talk. But they heeded my advice and continued decorating.

"I think it's sweet how well they get along, don't you Takashi?" said Honey-sempai. Mori-sempai only nodded in response and continued to pin up the drapes as Honey-sempai fed them up to him (meant to resemble a stage curtain). I stood back with my clipboard and watched everything unfold. It seemed that Tamaki's idea was coming together rather nicely; all we needed to do was light some candles and we'd have Broadway in Japan.

"Kyoya! Look at this costume, what do you think?" he sang, twirling around with a cream-colored lace dress. "You'd make the perfect Christine, wouldn't you agree?"

"Absolutely not," I said in a deadpan. There was no way I would cross-dress. I may be a sub in the bedroom, but that does not cross over into my daily life.

He put on his puppy dog eyes and shed a few crocodile tears (I could tell they weren't genuine, he was a terrible faker). "Oh please, Mommy dear, I think it would suit you so well!"

My face grew hot and I clapped a hand over his mouth. "What the hell is wrong with you?" I hissed. I couldn't whisper quietly enough so as not to attract the attention of the other hosts, nor could I yell at him loudly enough to convey my anger. "That nickname is for private use only!"

"Mommy?" asked Hikaru from across the room. "What does that mean?" My stomach dropped and my eyes grew as wide as saucers (thank goodness my back was turned to them). There was no way that the hosts could know about our relationship; if word were to get out to our guests, it could potentially jeopardize the Host Club.

"What is that, some kind of BDSM thing?" asked Ayame. Damnit …

"The boss and Kyoya-sempai? Unlikely; the boss is a total ladies' man," said Kaoru with an index finger and thumb resting on his chin.

"What is it, then? Is that a reference to the play? Because I can't say that I'm familiar…" pondered Hikaru. They were steering themselves a little further from the truth, but I still couldn't relax. I shot Tamaki a worried glance; he knew the repercussions of them finding out about us, so he needed to think up a cover fast as my mind had gone totally blank. He gave me a reassuring nod.

"You all don't get it? Is the Host Club not a family? What's wrong with assigning roles? After all, I like to think of myself as a father figure to a lot of you." My mouth hung agape like I was in shock. They'll never buy it, it sounds like a lie. It's way too rushed, it won't-

"Oh! I see! So Tama-chan's the daddy and Kyo-chan's the mommy!" piped up Honey-sempai. Does that make Hika-chan and Kao-chan the kids? But wait, what about me and Takashi? We're older than the parents!"

"You two can be uncles, maybe," said Tori. "I mean, you're definitely not grandparents!"

"I think I get it, I mean we've been doing this for almost a year. I think I could consider you all my second family," said Kaoru. "The roles of mom and dad make enough sense, since you two are the heads of the operation."

"Kyoya's always at my right hand, helping me along. It's only appropriate that he be the partner to the patriarch of this club!" said Tamaki with a flourish. I still must've looked like a deer in the headlights, because I couldn't believe that they were all going along with it.

"Some patriarch, Kyoya does most of the work," muttered Hikaru. I snorted; I was glad that they knew who was responsible for keeping the Host Club afloat.

Tamaki turned up his nose. "Don't you boys have work to do? Go on and do as your father tells you!" He completed the act with a sweeping gesture of the hand. To my immense relief, the twins and their ladies went back to decorating, as his Honey-sempai and Mori-sempai. Tamaki turned to me with a satisfied grin on his face. "How was that?" he whispered.

I chuckled. "You're fortunate that they know nothing of us, or else that never would've worked."

"Ah, but it did. And it remains our little secret." He winked at me, making me blush again.

"Pick out costumes, Tamaki. And no cross-dressing, this is male masquerade only." I tapped his forehead with my pen and began going over the budget a second time, making sure I didn't miss anything. I was interrupted by a quick nip to my left buttock and a cheeky grin from Tamaki.

"It's alright, we can pick up from there when we get home." With that, he went back to work.

As much as he embarrassed me sometimes, and as often as I questioned his state of mental well-being, he always knew the right thing to say to make me forgive any of his transgressions. After all, he's the only man I would submit myself to. And as time went on, we would both move onto other romantic interests, but we always remained each other's closest friends and confidants, as well as each other's first love. With one last glance at his backside, I continued my bookkeeping, my mind racing with thoughts of what was to come later that night.

Happy birthday, sissy! :) Hope you enjoy it!

So I'm back writing more Ouran, this time a little TamaKyo fluff. Rated M for implicit sexual content, if I need to change it, please let me know. Also, it's not really clear, but this takes place before Haruhi enters the Host Club (so I guess that would put the twins in their last year of middle school, for reference).

Favorite and review!

-H. H.