What if Kurt and Blaine never got together? AU from Sexy. Rated T for bluntly implying sex. (Yes, that's sort of an oxymoron).
It's a week before Blaine's wedding and everything is finally falling into the place. The flower orders have been confirmed, invitations long sent. The chapel has been booked, along with the expensive restaurant to hold the reception dinner afterwards. Tuxes have been picked out; the band has been hired.
And to top it off, Kurt is utterly miserable.
eHe can't quite complain though. Blaine never liked him in that way and besides the small Valentine's Day confession years and years ago, Kurt never made a move. Blaine has been a free man and also his best friend. Now, he's asked Kurt to be the best man at the wedding. Great. Charming. Brilliant.
But a week before that date, Kurt is in a bar downing twice his weight in liquor. He's surprised that he hasn't passed out by now or that Finn hasn't realized that he isn't in the hotel room they're staying at for the wedding. Surprised that Rachel hasn't pushed Finn into searching the entire city. A part of him wonders if anyone's spiked his drink yet.
He slaps another bill on the table and the bartender shakes his head. "You've had a lot tonight man," he says, pushing the bill back to Kurt. Kurt slumps against the back of his chair. He doesn't know how long he stayed like that before he finds himself on a bed back in the hotel. The angry face of Rachel Berry is staring him down and Finn looks a little uncomfortable.
Kurt makes a groaning noise and slaps his hand to his forehead. "Your fault mister," Rachel berates, "for having the worst hangover known to man." Kurt tries to tell her to shut up but all that comes out is a pathetic grunt. He sits up and Finn hands him aspirin with a glass of water.
"You alright bro?" Finn asks.
"In what way?" Kurt snaps back, his words still slightly slurred. He dry swallows the white pill and downs the water. "Because I feel like total shit right now."
Finn purses his lips together; Kurt rarely ever curses. "Blaine drove you back here last night. Said that he got some call. I guess the bartender took your phone and dialed the first number he could find."
"Yeah, great for him." Kurt slumps back into his bed.
"If you want, I can tell Blaine not to come over. He wanted to check up on you."
"Would you?" Kurt asks in a slightly sarcastic way. "I really don't want to see his face right now." Finn stands up and grabs his phone from the small table in the corner of the room. He steps out into the hall, making the call.
Rachel drops down onto the bed next to Kurt. "Hey." She manages to smile lovingly as she squeezes his hand. Rachel Berry would forever be an enigma to Kurt. After their rivaling high school days, they grew increasingly close, both having been accepted into the same school in New York City. Now that she and Finn were steady, they were more like sister and brother than ever.
"Hey back," he grits out.
"You don't have to go if you don't want to."
"And miss the seeing Blaine and his precious Adam smooch at the altar?" Kurt closes his eyes and groans again at his headache.
"I know how you feel Kurt," Rachel says sympathetically.
"No. You don't. You think it's about the wedding. It's not," Kurt shoots back. "While it would be lovely if I were the one at the altar, it's the fact that he never gave me a chance." By now, tears are starting to choke his words. "After everything you know?" he cries. "After that stupid Valentine's GAP thing and dating you and school dances, after I transferred and keeping in touch after high school and flying into see each other on break. He never once did anything!" Kurt sobs into the pillow as Rachel smoothes out Kurt's hair.
"Think of it this way. If he's too stupid to see you the way you want him too, then he's not good enough for you. I bet there's been people who've asked you out before."
"I turned them all down."
"Blaine doesn't deserve you. He doesn't see you and he's put you through all this pain for what? Six years? I know you love him Kurt, but you have to move on."
A few days later Blaine drops by, despite all protests and lies from Finn that Kurt is terribly sick after catching a cold in the streets due to his alcoholically-weakened immune system. Finn and Rachel quickly excuse themselves as they let Blaine in. Kurt fakes a smile –the one that's worked so well over years- only this time it doesn't work.
"You okay?" Blaine asks, bringing a chair over to where Kurt is watching TV.
"Thought there was a wedding rehearsal this morning," Kurt says, jumping away from the question.
"Yeah, you were supposed to be there too." A period of silence lapses in between them as Kurt flips through the channels. "Kurt, what's wrong?"
"You don't have to worry about it."
"I'm your best friend," Blaine argues. Kurt fights the urge to roll his and yell and that's all you ever wanted.
He refrains and sets down the remote on the clean linens. Turning to Blaine he says, "I don't think I can be your best man."
Shock registers on Blaine's face. "Why?"
Kurt sighs and gives a shrug. "My reasons are my own. I know it's short notice, but I just can't Blaine. Ask Wes or David. They're in town too and being best man isn't much."
After a while Blaine leaves the hotel room. He sees Finn returning with a handful of bags. "Rachel," the taller man explains. Blaine can only muster a nod of understanding and watches Finn enter the same room he has just left.
Finn sets down the bags of clothes and hears Kurt say, "Those better be designers or I'm having a serious talk with Rachel."
"They are," Finn confirms. "So what happened with Blaine?" He points to the door that has just closed behind him.
"I told him I wasn't going to be the best man."
"You what? You're still going though right?"
Kurt shrugs at his step-brother's question. "Where's Rachel?"
Down a few streets, Rachel is ordering coffee where Blaine bumps into her. "Oh, Blaine!" she smiles, pulling him into a hug.
"Hi Rachel. Finn's back at the hotel already."
"Hm," she nods.
"I was wondering…" Blaine began, biting his lip. "What's wrong with Kurt lately?"
"Nothing much," lies Rachel. "Just stressed and a little sad. That's all." She grabs the coffee from the barista and sips it gingerly.
"Can we sit for a while?" Blaine gestures at the empty table near them.
"Five minutes," she agrees. "I have to get back."
As they sit down, Blaine inquires, "Does Kurt remember anything from that night at the bar?"
"Not that he's said. Probably not. Why?"
"Well… he sort of got angry at me in the car." Rachel tilts her head to the side, willing him to continue. "At first it was just stupid stuff like teasing back in high school and insulting me hair. Then he started yelling pretty loudly."
"Like…" prompts Rachel.
"I hate you Blaine!" Kurt yelled, pounding against the driver's seat from behind. "You're a horrible friend!" Blaine tried to convince himself that it was just the alcohol talking. It had to be, but part of him wouldn't believe that.
"I guess we're not When Harry Met Sally, because we've shown that two gay guys can be best friends and never get together." Blaine flinched at the words. "Guess what Blaine! They get together in the end! But you don't want to! You don't like me," Kurt choked. Then his voice softened. "So I guess I'm not Meg Ryan anymore. And you're not Billy Crystal. That's one more thing gone, huh?"
Kurt was silent for the rest of the ride and Blaine realized that the other man had sufficiently passed out.
Rachel purses her lips together. "Well," she sighs, striving to preserve what was left of Kurt's romantic privacy, "as Jamie Foxx says, blame it on the alcohol." She smiles and sips her coffee again.
Blaine chuckles. "Blame it on the alcohol," he agrees as they stand to leave. "Right…" Then he realizes how Rachel's smile looks exactly like Kurt's fake one.
On the eve of the wedding, Kurt gets a knock on the hotel door. He is alone again as Finn as taken Rachel out on a date at a nearby restaurant that had caught her eye. "Did you forget the keycard again?" Kurt groans as he opens the door without checking who is on the other side. His face falls immediately. "Oh."
"Or hello," Blaine offers, "like they used to say."
"What are you doing here?" Kurt asks bluntly.
"Just to talk," Blaine replies, stepping inside. Kurt shuts the door behind him. "Are you okay?"
"Fine Blaine. Just a little out of it for a few days. Stress, auditions."
"And that's enough for you to quit on the wedding?"
"That's none of your business."
"None of my business?" Blaine repeats with less control in his voice. "It's my wedding."
"Yes Blaine," Kurt says sarcastically. "It couldn't have been made clearer."
"What is wrong with you Kurt?" Blaine finally shouts.
"Wrong with me? Wrong with me?" Kurt echoes. "I could ask you the same thing! Why the hell are you here?"
"You're so hard to work with, don't you get it Kurt? You have something to tell me, you tell me!"
"Well it shouldn't be like that! You should know. You're my best friend and, yes I do admit to myself, that's all we will ever be."
"What because of me?"
"Yes!" Kurt screams.
"What? You're jealous of me getting married to someone else."
"No! I'm mad that you didn't have the balls to give us a chance! I am mad at you Blaine. Can't your Dalton and Stanford grades get that? So stop getting me to attend your wedding and GET OUT!" Kurt pointed at the door and Blaine composed himself, wondering how the conversation could have gone so out of hand so quickly.
"Fine," he says, before slamming the door behind him.
Kurt falls onto the bed, completely confused. Blaine, on the other hand, stands outside the doorway, looking strangely at the doorknob.
The wedding comes and goes with complete ease. Caught in the euphoria, Blaine just about forgets about his fight with Kurt the evening before. His Dalton friends, some whom he hadn't seen in years, congratulate him and Blaine nearly misses the faces of Finn and Rachel, sitting second row. Sitting behind where Kurt should have been.
The honeymoon also comes swiftly and soon Blaine and Adam are starting classes again in California. Kurt has long since disappeared to New York where he is, according to Rachel, working on getting onto Broadway and making it big.
And he does. So does Rachel. Only a few months after Blaine's wedding does Blaine start seeing Kurt's name in lights, his face on billboards and his person on famous talk shows. Sometimes Rachel accompanies him, being the leading lady in one of his shows. Everyone is always on about how much emotion he puts into his acting and singing. The rumor mill reports that he might even be penning his own Broadway show soon, along Rachel Berry and other great Broadway stars.
Around the same time Kurt confirms writing the show based on his "failures in romance," Blaine discovers Adam's one month long affair. They reconcile quickly and much to Blaine's sorrow, he finds another guy with his husband only two weeks later. The divorce papers are signed in one week.
Later that night, he drowns his sorrow with alcohol, ironically at the same bar he rescued Kurt from so long ago. There's a term paper due tomorrow, but Blaine could care less as the drink burns his throat and makes him dizzy. The bartender takes his phone and starts scrolling through contacts. His eyes widen at the "Kurt Hummel" contact and calls it out of pure curiosity. It turns out to be the famous star who sends a car to get Blaine.
That night, as Blaine sleeps in Kurt's hotel room bed, Kurt pours out some whiskey and starts writing again. Just the sight of Blaine sets him off and he needs an outlet before he explodes and breaks down into a puddle of emotions. As he takes a heavy swig, he hears, "I didn't know you drank so much."
Kurt sets down his glass and sends nonchalant glance over his shoulder. "Yeah," he responds dully and turns back to his work.
"Can I read?" he hears.
"No." Giving short answers is about as controlled as Kurt can get at the moment.
"Please?"
"No," Kurt repeats. "Go back to sleep and pray for a less than severe hangover tomorrow." He drinks again and scratches out a few notes before hearing Blaine shuffle out of bed and approach him. Kurt, exasperated with Blaine's persistence at reading his work, slams the folder shut and turns in his chair, ready to lash out.
Instead, Blaine slowly leans in…
…and kisses him.
Kurt pushes away, but Blaine keeps insisting. Soon, they are a pile on the bed. And Kurt knows, he knows, that he really shouldn't be doing this and they're going too far, but his inhibitions are lowered even after his building tolerance to alcohol.
At some point in time, clothes are scattered across the hotel room and the way they are pressed together on the bed just feels right. The way Blaine scatters kisses across Kurt's jaw line makes both of them flutter with delight. The way Blaine feels and moves against him, in him, sends Kurt to heaven. And honestly, it's the first time for Kurt. Yes, he's dabbled and explored, but he's never done it. And the first time…
The thought about regretting this is sent flying away as Kurt revels in this newfound feeling. Whispered names echo softly around the walls, sounding reverent and loving. Their movements are completely in sync. Even if both might deny it, this is making love.
Kurt freezes when he wakes up the next morning, arms encircled around him protectively. The memories come flooding back to him and it takes all his willpower not to cry right there. Blaine's breath tickling his neck is like a pain to his side and as much as Kurt wants this –and he wants it badly- he knows he can't. He carefully tries to extract himself from Blaine's arms as they tighten around him. Eventually, he falls out of the bed and snatches up his underwear. Oh God, what about the press? The paparazzi?
Blaine groans from the bed. Another hangover. Great. Then he remembers too and watches with wide, terrified eyes as Kurt slips back into his clothes and tries to gain back some of the normality that is lost. "You should go," Kurt orders. This time, he doesn't point to the door. "Please."
"Kurt…" Blaine begins.
"I don't want to yell Blaine. Just get some clothes on and leave please." The tears threaten to steam down his cheeks. Aimlessly, Blaine obeys as Kurt turns away, biting his lip to strangle sobs.
Before walking out, Blaine whispers, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean, I mean I-"
"Save it Blaine. I know you don't love me like that. We were both drunk."
This time as Kurt collapses on the bed and Blaine stands outside, staring at that doorknob, they're both crying silent tears and feeling as if half of their hearts have been taken. The guilty thought won't stop running through Blaine's head. I took my best friend's virginity… I'm nothing short of Karofsky.
One year later Kurt's Broadway show, Candles, opens. Kurt and Rachel have been known as the new Broadway couple, despite their platonic relationship and Kurt's revelation that he is indeed gay. A few days afterwards Finn proposes to Rachel and sits front row at the show, watching his brother and fiancée perform the show of their lives.
Kurt doesn't fool Finn. Those tears aren't acting. They're real.
Halfway through the show's run, Kurt comes out with a boyfriend –his first. The relationship doesn't last very long and afterwards, Kurt's back on Broadway performing after letting the understudy take over for a while.
Meanwhile, reporter and reporter want the real inside scoop on the life experiences that influenced the conception of what is being called "The Most Emotionally Raw Show" of all time. Every time he is asked, Kurt just shakes his head and says, "It's all in there. You just have to look for it."
On the last show for Candles, all of New Directions is there, sitting front row, supporting Kurt and Rachel. Throughout the years, they have all heard of Kurt's rocky friendship with Blaine. The star has at least once told them all personally about the wedding fiasco, but only Finn, Rachel and Mercedes have heard about the drunken night.
The show closes and the crowd disperses. The cast and crew take their leave to an after party while Kurt and Rachel remain. The two are to have a party of their own with the rest of their old high school glee club. As they convene around the outside of Kurt's dressing room, they hear footsteps.
They all turn around to see a slightly shorter man, who has somehow gotten around security, running towards them. Kurt takes one step back and his friends take one step forward. The man stops abruptly, not daring to meet Kurt's eyes. "I saw your show tonight," he says.
Kurt stares passively. "Oh."
"You were great."
"Thanks."
"Yo Anderson!" Puck shouts from the group behind Kurt. Blaine looks up. "You better leave before we-"
"No," Blaine cuts in. "Wait." Then he drops the paper bag no one realizes he is holding and falls down to one knee. He gingerly takes a coffee cup from the bag and holds it up to Kurt. "I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."
Kurt keeps his eyes locked on the coffee held up to him. Just one whiff and he knows what it is. Grande nonfat mocha. "You see?" he begins. "That is just like you Harry. You say things like that and you make it impossible for me to hate you, and I hate you Harry. I really hate you." The last three words are barely audible. "I hate you."
"I know it's taken me eight years," Blaine says, staring into Kurt's eyes. "But I love you." Thrusting the coffee a bit further he adds, "Will you be my boyfriend?"
Kurt takes the coffee and jerks it back somewhere behind him to his right for Finn to hold. Then he grips Blaine by the collar of the polo shirt he's wearing and pulls him up, slamming him against the wall. He does the last thing Blaine expects at the moment.
He kisses him.
It's like their kiss one year ago in that hotel room. It's right. So horribly, irrevocably perfect and right. The mold of their lips together, the way each curve of their bodies fit whilst pressed against each other. Those of New Directions don't miss the way Blaine holds Kurt against him, reverently and lovingly.
Eight years. It had taken Blaine Anderson eight long years to realize that he had probably fell in love with his best friend the moment the boy cried over a cup of coffee in the Dalton common room. It took him so long to realize that every failed relationship before Adam was because of some subconscious guilt of pushing Kurt aside and labeling him "just a friend." In the end, Adam didn't even treat him right. Watching Kurt strut around on those recorded shows, like he owned the stage and owned the world, made Blaine realize that Kurt never needed to be pushed into a box and stored away for safety. Blaine didn't have to continue being that dapper mentor well into their adult life. Kurt had grown so much and become such a different person.
It was the Kurt he fell in love with. The Kurt who stayed until a death threat, the strong boy who wasn't afraid to speak his mind and not the Kurt who looked flustered at the mention of sex because, hello, he was talking about it to his crush. This Kurt was Kurt and absolutely nothing else.
As their lips part, Blaine whispers, "I love you." Kurt doesn't answer. He shouldn't have to.
Blaine has already known, for eight long years.
When Harry Met Sallygains my respect. Notice the quotation?
As you can see, the title for this fic is inspired by Adele. Turning Tables is one of the most powerful and brutally truthful songs I have ever heard. We all love someone and it is often him/her that hurt us the most because of that love we feel. There are times when you have to step aside and say to yourself "I've got to let you go, not because I don't love you, but because I love you too much and I can't do this to myself." It is then when we truly see how much we have grown and how much stronger we have gotten. And sometimes, others see it too.
I wrote this because of other fics I've seen where Blaine is getting married to someone who's not Kurt and Kurt gets all emotional and somehow end up together. Today, however, I came across one where Blaine actually gets mad. I wanted to try my hand at it so I came up with this. I think it's important that it takes Blaine so long to realize that he actually cared for Kurt in a non-platonic (here in this fic and the show). A relationship can't be built on appearance and first glances. You have to get to know the person, flaws and strengths and all. You need platonic memories first and then you can move onto romantic. That way, you have so much more to look back on when you get the romance right.