Grey.

That's how Dr. John Waston felt.

Even if colors aren't actual emotions, that's all that John could see, all that he could feel, and rainy slow days was what he lived even on the days double rainbows occurred.

Today he had another appointment with his therapist, Miss Ella Thompson. She's been his therapist for a while and especially after Sherlock's death.

He couldn't even bring himself to say his best friend's name. Mrs. Hudson didn't go up to dust the flat anymore and Molly seemed deeply saddened, but with no tears to be displayed, not even when she worked was Molly able to pronounce her once all time crush. It seemed as if the world had become unbearably dull with Sherlock Holmes' leave.

Lestrade would solve his cases but always asked an invisible Sherlock for more information of the suspect, never receiving answers. Donovan had shut up about the "freak" thing but every once in a while she would pipe up on how she was sorry, how he deserved it, and how it could've been partially her fault for his suicide.

But none of them had the pain Watson had. Seeing as Sherlock was his best friend and he was Sherlock's one and only friend. They had been solving cases for what seemed like forever.

But then again, there is no forever for everything.

"Not even with Sherlo- there's forever. Is there?" John looked as if he was talking to Sherlock Holmes' grave and awaiting its reply. "Why, for almost two years, you have been dead. And, I uh, I don't know how to go on anymore. I've met a beautiful woman and she's absolutely brilliant. Her name's Mary, I wish you could've met her. Well, you might've criticised my choice of who I wish to marry. I really wanted you as my best man, although, that can't happen now." Tears formed in the blond man's eyes as he walked off.

Cursing under his breath, full of regret and anger at himself and Sherlock. He was mad at Sherlock for jumping, for letting Mortiary confuse him with a false mask of the Sherlock Holmes. He hated that he listened to him and stayed where he was. Why didn't he just run for his best friend? Was it because then and there, he knew it would be the last time seeing his tall pale genius?

"I was a fool. But I told what really happened, and that's what matters." Walking the rest of the way to his flat, legs propelled with mixed, intense emotions. But what he didn't know, that Sherlock's suicide affected someone else just as much as him.

Two years ago…

WEEEEEEERROP! WEEEEEEERROP!

A blue police box appeared in a yard full of flowers of all types.

"I need to find him!" A woman walked out of the box, pulling on a coat while walking.

"Wait, wait!" A man with a tan trench coat and short medium brown hair ran after the girl. "Elmleia! ELMLEIA! Please!"

The strange man grabbed her arm, whipping her around to look her in the eyes.

"I've shown you the far future Elmleia. Only what could happen if you… if you… leave me. Please Elm, don't go." His soft brown eyes stared straight into her eyes, voice cracking a little.

It wasn't normal of the Doctor to try to stop his companions from leaving like, THIS!

"I need to find my friend John. He can show me where Mr. Holmes is. Please, I need to do this. It can help me with what I've been dreaming of since I was a little girl. Please, I, I need to do this. I've been wanting to learn more-"

"But you have! You've learned about different species of all kinds! You can't possibly become bored with it!"

"No, it's not that I'm bored with it or anything. It's absolutely amazing!" Elmleia turned to look at the Doctor's, HER Doctor's, sad lonely eyes. Yes, she had a crush on him while knowing that they wouldn't be a thing ever. He lived forever and his mind with his knowledge made him irresistible! On the other hand, she was a normal, mortal, everyday human being. She wasn't part of the pretty or popular group when she was in school, she was very intelligent and had the capability of making friends with just about anybody with the gift of turning anyone's day joyful.

"I just want to learn more stuff on Earth. You know what my dreams are."

His eyes rose to meet her glowing face and hopeful eyes. A sigh heaved from his chest.

"Yes, I know. You wish to become a scientist. I still think you would be a great author though." A dimpled grin swept across his face. Many stories were scattered throughout the Tardis made by Elmleia. Every single one of them were different and adored by him. Each had been read at least 6 times, never getting old.

Laughs escaped Elmleia's lips as she beamed. "Yeah, I know because you keep telling me that. Oh!" Her eyes widened, rummaging in her pockets.

"I almost forgot," an envelope was in her hand, gestured towards him. "This is for all of the adventures we had. A gift just for you."

Intrigued by the paper, he took it in his hands and placed it in his pocket.

"Read it when you feel alone or you miss my presence. See you later Doctor! Visit me whenever you need to!" And with a wave of her hand she was going to achieve her lifetime goal.

"Elm. Just promise me. Even when you find the revived man, please. Don't forget me."

As she walked off, her voice faded. "How could I forget YOU?"

The most recent things she spoke echoed around in his head. With a heavy sigh, the police box door opened and closed.

Inside, the Doctor's hand glided over the Tardis console. On the old computer screen, a note was stuck. Glasses were put on his face to read the note.

Dear Doctor,
Fear not, for when I say goodbye, it isn't forever. It's just a break from a life that is too amazing for a simple explanation. Thank you for the experiences. I expect more soon.
Sincerely,
Elm

He smiled as the blue box landed in its new destination.

Elmleia ran towards an elderly lady on the street.

"Um. Excuse me. Ma'am?"

The woman stopped and turned around. "Yes?"

"Do you know where I can find a restaurant around? I'm famished."

"Right across the street, a block down." The old woman pointed down the street.

"Thank you!" Once again, Elmleia was running.

The door to Angelo's opened as Elmleia gasped to catch her breath. Angelo looked over at her in concern.

"Are you alright Miss?" Angelo walked over to her.

"Yes, I'm just hungry and I'm on a case. A detective on a case with an empty stomach isn't always a good thing. Phew." A hand dragged down her right cheek.

"A detective eh? Another one Sherlock can compete with I suppose." He turned his back to set a table for her.

"Wait. Did you say Sherlock? As in THE Sherlock Holmes?" Slowly Elmleia approached the chef.

"Yes. I know him personally myself. He cleared my record. He's a great guy once you get to know him."

"Oh. That's great! Do you happen to know where can I find him?"

Angelo handed her a ham, cheese, lettuce tomato sandwich. "Yeah. Everyone knows where he lives now."

"Well I'm new around these parts. Do you mind telling me the address?"

"Sure. It's 221B Baker Street And eat that sandwich. Don't want no one going with a growling stomach."

"221 B… got it. Thanks a lot!"

The door opened again to let Elmleia hail a taxi.

The cab door shut as Elmleia told the address to the cabbie. Zooming through the streets, she pondered upon how she should introduce herself. The cab came to a stop and she paid her fare.

"Alright. Now to knock. Here we go."

Three knocks later, Mrs Hudson opened the door.

"John. Did you lose your key agai- oh! Goodness me. And who are you?"

"Hi! I'm Elmleia and I'm looking for a Sherlock Holmes."

"Oh. Sorry. He isn't here. In fact, his friend John just left to see if he could find him."

"Wait. John Watson? I know John from my young school life! Where did he say he was going?"

The more information she discovered, the more excited and anxious she grew.

"Saint Barts Hospital I believe."

"Thank you thank you thank you! You have helped me so much. I just, thank you! Taxi!"

A black cab pulled up.

"Saint Bart's."

"Sherlock, Sherlock. Listen to me. Get down from there." John Watson demanded through the cellphone.

A car dropped a woman off moments ago, long enough to here the doctor's words. Immediately, she looked up to see a man wearing a long black coat standing on the edge of the roof, perched like a crow.

"No…" Elmleia muttered under her breath. Shock came over her as she refused to realize that the man on the roof, was supposedly the man who was going to change her life.

Did the Doctor know that this might happen? Maybe it wasn't the right timing and she had messed something up in a strange chain reaction
What is going to happen to him?

"He is going to come down. He has to, he just has to!" Uttered a bewildered Elmleia.

"Wait, Sherlock. Sherlock!" John looked scared at the man on the building, who had begun to fall.

Two hands clasped Elmleia's face.

"Oh my god. No…no. This can't be… this can't be right. Did he just really, kill himself?"

John ran towards Sherlock's fallen body.

"I don't, I don't understand. What did I do wrong?"

Tears formed in her eyes.

"The man, who was supposed to right my life is now… DEAD?" She dropped to her knees.

Later that night, it rained. It perfectly fit the mood Elmleia was in, after seeing a man commit suicide hours ago that was supposed to help her.

A blanket draped over he shoulders as she stumbled through the downpour to the gardens in which she saw the Doctor last.

"Doc- doctor? Where are you? I need you right now. I. I shouldn't have left you."

Her whole body trembled from the cold rain. A rock caught her boot and she fell, knees first into the mud.

"Doctor?" Voice cracking with emotion. "Doctor, where are you? Doctor? DOCTOR?!"

Elmleia slumped over, sobbing. "He, he left me. THEY left me. I'm alone again!" Dirty water splashed her as she punched it.

Scrambling up, she walked towards a tree and fell asleep against it as flashlights skimmed her body.

Present day…

As John walked away, a pair of eyes stared at him. Waiting until he disappeared from sight. Bushes nearby Sherlock's grave rustled about.

Dark brown hair popped out of the bush. A pair of brown eyes to go with them swept the area. Elmleia walked over to the grave of Sherlock Holmes.

"Well, two years later and still. I feel like I'm missing something. Maybe it's you. I don't even know you but if the Doctor said you were the one that changed my life, where are you? I mean, it's funny really. You were a detective and I was, a nothing. Just a stupid girl with her head stuck in the clouds. John misses you. You have to be alive. A man with a brain like yours, you must've escaped death. Ugh, who am I kidding. I wish I could've talked to you even if it was once. Goodbye."

Trudging through the streets, she wondered what his face looked like and his personality but didn't dare look on the Internet, knowing that there's all sorts of rubbish on there.

But what she didn't know, that Sherlock's brother knew exactly what she looked like.