Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.

- Hebrews 13:4

"In all things you must defer first to God and then to your father and then to your husband. You are young now and innocent, to which you owe thanks to the Lord and your father for protecting you against the evils of the world. Soon this will become the responsibility of your husband and it is even now your responsibility to pray for him so that God may bless him with the wisdom to protect you as he ought. Gracie, you must also pray for yourself so that you may be a good wife and submit to your husband. Pray that you do not become an adulteress for entertaining lustful thoughts for men who are not your husband. You will spend the night reading and reflecting on verses regarding the marriage bed."

Her mother had given her a handwritten list of verses and her well-worn Bible, sitting her in the common room next to a flickering lamp to maintain her vigil. And Gracie had, for the most part, spent the eve of her 18th birthday sitting in prayer and reflection though it was not solely on the matter her mother had commanded. For Gracie knew in her heart that she was already an adulteress for the way she had looked at and desired Mark to love her – to take care of her. And maybe something more?

Growing up on a farm had not allowed her the full innocence her parents had commanded of her but she still did not fully understand the nature of human sexual interactions. Most animals only mated in the season God ordained for them, but she did not think people did the same. Other women in her father's congregation did not seem to be blessed with child in a specific time of year. Maybe it depended on the man? The verses were unhelpful in this regard. A blasphemous thought.

Sexual immorality surely would be easy to avoid. She was not Rahab and she prayed fervently that her husband would not lead her to become Tamar and that another woman's husband would not lead her to become Bathsheba. Realizing this tangent suddenly Gracie backtracked and prayed even harder that she would not cause herself to become like these adulteresses.

Submission had always been her personal battle, as everyone knew. It just wouldn't come as naturally to her as it seemed to come to Bonnie. Perhaps it would come easier with her husband than her mother and father? She imagined submitting to Mark…he did not seem as if he would be too demanding of her – he probably wouldn't even ever sew her lips shut.

And there it was. More adulterous thoughts. More coveting. More disobedience and ingratitude towards her parents.

Gracie had read, studied, and prayed on Ephesians 6 more than any other child in the congregation – she could've recited it front and back if asked. Still in the oppressive darkness and silence only interrupted with the occasional cough or groan of those sleeping above she felt compelled to read it again in a desperate attempt to atone for her sins. Her fingers trembled as she flipped from 1 Thessalonians 4 to the familiar Ephesians 6, and in her haste she overshot. It was only a glimpse but it was enough to stop her hands from flipping back to her intended destination. She had landed accidentally on 1 Corinthians 7. "Principles for Marriage" the chapter title read. Gracie grabbed her mother's assigned list of verses….no 1 Corinthians 7.

She glanced around in brief panic and quickly felt foolish. She was still alone in the drawing room and even if someone did come down she was hardly going to get in trouble for reading the Bible of all things.

"The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another…."

This was…different from anything she had ever been taught. A wife has conjugal rights? And authority over her husband's body? Gracie didn't know what to think.

She could ask her mother, the cocks would crow soon and the congregation would rise to tend to the land. Her mother would know what to say.

But Bonnie had not included this verse on her list. Gracie was not supposed to have read it. Was it wrong?

It couldn't be wrong. It was in the Bible. God's own Holy Word.

Gracie sat in confusion, rereading the verses until she heard the first noises of awakening. Many times throughout the day she opened her mouth to ask about 1 Corinthians 7 but every time she lost her nerve. She saw Mark at supper and for the first time she thought not only about him having authority over her, but her having authority over him.

Do not deprive one another….

It stuck with her.