AN: Hello everyone! It's been months since I've written an actual fic, life got in the way a bit. I do hope you enjoy this one, there is a happy ending! Thank you so much for reading!
They took him. They killed him. As soon as they figured out who Arthur was, that he wasn't just another peasant, they had to get rid of him. They couldn't be seen with a prince, they would surely be executed if they were caught kidnapping a prince, so he had to go.
The first day without Arthur. Merlin seems to be stuck in that moment, the last moment he'd touched Arthur, the moment they'd grabbed him right out of Merlin's arms, the moment they'd hit him on the back of the head and shoved him off the edge of the cliff.
The second day without Arthur. Merlin has not eaten, has hardly moved at all. He has cried and slept and cried some more, chanting Arthur's name over and over again like a prayer, like he did when he watched them grab him, when Merlin screamed Arthur's name as their eyes met for the last time before Arthur disappeared off the edge of the world.
The third day without Arthur. There are no more tears left to shed, and Merlin's throat has gone sore, so he sits, huddled around himself, unmoving and miserable. At least when Arthur was here they'd been able to share each other's warmth.
The fourth day without Arthur. The captors have stopped giving Merlin food, as he has so far left everything they've given him on the ground where they'd tossed it. Merlin wonders if the wolves have found Arthur's body yet; they wouldn't leave a fresh, lean body to rot like that. Merlin hopes Arthur died quickly. They'd hit him on the head before they threw him, but it hadn't knocked him out, it had only disoriented him. Merlin had seen Arthur's eyes, angry and scared. Merlin doesn't know how high the cliff is, but he hopes it's high enough to make the impact great enough for a swift death.
The seventh day without Arthur. They've started taunting him with food, laughing when Merlin makes a half-hearted reach for it, holding it close enough for Merlin to see, to smell, to make a grab for it, then they toss it away and saunter off, laughing. Alone on this side of the castle, Merlin crawls towards the food, whether it's a small slice of bread or half-rotten fruit. He needs it. Arthur wouldn't want Merlin to waste away, he would want him to keep living, even without him. The fact that Merlin doesn't want to feels like a betrayal. He reaches for the food, crawls closer and closer to it, but the iron chain around his right wrist keeps him from going any further, just like it keeps his magic trapped inside.
The tenth day without Arthur. Merlin wonders what the captors plan on doing with him. Maybe they will use him as a slave, or feed him to their dogs, or harness his magic, or simply chain him naked in the town square to laugh at him. Whatever it was, they seem to have forgotten all about him.
The sixteenth day without Arthur. Grass isn't so bad to eat, and sometimes he finds a spider or even a mouse to swallow. He has to do it, for Arthur's sake. Arthur would want him to keep fighting.
The eighteenth day without Arthur. Maybe he'll starve, or maybe they'll remember and come for him and slit his throat, or throw him over the cliff. It'd hurt, the state Merlin's in, but at least it'd be over and he'd finally get to be with Arthur again.
The twenty-first day without Arthur. Was he asleep for one day, or two? It's getting harder to tell. He's so hungry, and so tired, and there's little else to mark the passage of time. This side of the castle faces out over the cliff and the woods below, so there's nothing here, just grass and Merlin, chained to the wall. And somewhere below, Merlin can't stop thinking, is the corpse of his prince.
The twenty-ninth day without Arthur. A dandelion started to grow just within Merlin's reach. Merlin watched it until it bloomed, a brilliant yellow circle floating in the center of his vision. Then he ate it.
The thirty-second day without Arthur…
The first thing Arthur notices when he wakes is that two of his limbs and what appears to be his entire torso are heavily bandaged. The second thing he notices is that he is lying on something soft.
Then he remembers what happened, that he and Merlin had been captured, that they had spent two days huddled together before their captors had found out who he was. He remembers struggling weakly after they hit him, and Merlin's pained expression, reaching out but unable to help. He remembers falling, watching the cliff's edge race farther and farther away, but then...then what happened? Is he dead?
"I think he's awake."
Suddenly there's a hushed voice, and then the crunch of approaching footsteps and the rustle and clink of chainmail as someone kneels beside Arthur.
"Arthur?" Someone calls softly, and Arthur turns his head.
Relief floods him as he sees Leon kneeling over him. Behind him he sees the others, Gwaine and Elyan and Percival, watching from their positions around a campfire.
"My lord, how do you feel?"
Arthur coughs, tries to speak. "What happened? Where's Merlin?" Speaking causes pain to flare in his chest, and he groans.
Leon places a soothing hand on Arthur's shoulder. "We found you at the bottom of a cliff."
"I was thrown," Arthur says, "A group of men, they captured Merlin and I, kept us chained up. They threw me when they realized I was the prince."
"Merlin?" Gwaine pipes up, "Is he alive?"
"Last I saw him," Arthur says. "We need to get him out of there."
"We will," Leon says quickly, "But first you need to heal. You were nearly dead when we found you yesterday. We'll get you back to Camelot and as soon as you're better we'll get him."
"He could die by then," Arthur says, trying to sit up, "We have to go now, I don't know what they're planning on doing with him."
"We'll go as soon as possible," Leon assures him, pushing Arthur back down into the blankets. "But not before you're better."
"You don't all need to take me back to Camelot," Arthur protests, "Gwaine?" Surely, Gwaine would not leave his friend to rot in the back of a strange castle.
But Gwaine looks somber. "We'll get you to Camelot first."
"But-"
"Your father will have our heads if we let anything worse happen to you," Leon says, "And we're no good to Merlin if Uther won't let us out."
"So don't go back until we've gotten him-"
"We need to get you to Gaius first," Leon says firmly. "I promise, we will get Merlin as soon as possible."
Arthur glares angrily at his knights. "Heaven knows what they'll be doing to him, they could be torturing him right now!"
"You need to rest," Elyan suddenly says, getting up and joining Leon by Arthur's side. "The more rest you get, the quicker you'll heal. You're weak right now."
Elyan is right: the pain from speaking is taking its toll on Arthur. Exhaustion bleeds through his anger, pulling at the edges of his consciousness and dragging him under.
"Promise we will get him."
"We will," Elyan says, "Now rest, sire."
With their promise at heart, Arthur lets his eyes fall shut and he drifts into unconsciousness.
Merlin is asleep when they find him, after they've killed or at least knocked out everyone in the castle. The skin around his wrist is rubbed raw and bloody and is probably infected, judging by the sickly grey and green color around it. His face is grey as well, his cheekbones more stark than they were before.
He doesn't wake at the loud clang when Gwaine uses his sword to sever the chain keeping Merlin attached to the wall. Arthur wastes no time gathering him up, noticing with a burn of anger that he's far too light.
Even so, the effort of lifting him up tugs at Arthur's still-healing body. He doesn't want to give Merlin up, wants to keep him clutched close to his body and never let him go, but he knows it would be quicker for someone else to carry Merlin instead.
He passes Merlin's limp body into Gwaine's arms, and together they carry him back to the other knights so they can take him back to Camelot.
It takes a week, full of worry and feeding Merlin as he drifts in and out of delirium, but finally, finally, Merlin wakes up.
He stirs only slightly, but Arthur is vigilant enough to notice it right away: the shift of Merlin's head on the pillow, the soft exhale of breath, the slight twitch of Merlin's hand in Arthur's.
"Merlin?" Arthur whispers.
Merlin's eyes flutter open, searching and unfocused before they land on Arthur's face.
"Arthur?" He croaks.
"Hey," Arthur murmurs, "Hey." He lifts his free hand, uses it to brush the hair from Merlin's face. "How are you feeling?"
"Is that you?"
"Yes," Arthur nods, "Yes, Merlin, it's me, you're safe."
Merlin stares for a long time, eyes wide and confused, until something seems to shift into place and his face breaks out into a smile.
"Hey."
Arthur smiles back, drops a kiss to Merlin's knuckles.
"Come here," Merlin says, moving in the bedding like he's trying to make room.
"You need rest."
"I know," Merlin smiles, "Rest with me."
Arthur pulls back the blankets, hiding a wince at the stark skin and bone that's revealed. Carefully he slides into the bed next to Merlin and enfolds him in his arms, pulling the blankets up and over them both.
Merlin sighs. Secure in each other's arms, they fall asleep.
The days pass. The two of them never leave Arthur's chambers, staying in bed, nursing each other to health.
"I'm so sorry you had to endure all that," Arthur says one day as they sit on Arthur's bed, each holding a bowl of hot broth. "I'm sorry it took so long to get you here."
"I'm here now," Merlin says, "And I'm glad. I didn't want to spend another day at that castle."
"It must have been horrible for you, living like that."
"They forgot about me after a while," Merlin shrugs. "Really it was knowing you were gone that made it horrible. I wanted to join you so badly, but I couldn't. I had that damn chain, and anyway I knew you wanted me to keep going. I thought you wanted me to stay alive."
"I'm glad you did."
Merlin smiles up at him. "It doesn't matter anymore," he tells him, "I'm here now."
"You're taking this extremely well," Arthur observes.
"What do you mean?"
"You watched me get thrown off of that cliff. That whole time you thought I was dead."
Merlin is silent for a moment. "Yes," He says, "I never want to experience that ever again. But I don't have to now. We're together again."
"I meant," Arthur says, "You didn't react to me the way I thought you would."
"What do you mean?"
"You thought I was dead that whole time. I thought you would be more surprised to see me."
Merlin shrugs again. "I knew I'd see you again, it made sense it would be sooner rather than later. It's not like I could have survived on dandelions forever."
"You ate dandelions?"
"I had to, they weren't giving me food anymore. There weren't many of them, so it's not surprising I ran out of that pretty quickly. I'm surprised I survived as long as I did."
"I'm glad you did. We almost didn't find you in time."
Merlin's brow wrinkles at that. "If I stopped I'd have gotten here sooner."
Arthur pauses. "What do you mean?"
"I would have starved a long time ago," Merlin says, "I wanted so badly to be with you again. If I had known you would have been happier to have me here I wouldn't have tried to survive that long."
Arthur stares, then sets aside his bowl. "Merlin, where do you think you are right now?"
Merlin smiles at him. "Heaven."
"No, really," Arthur says, crawling forward to look hard into Merlin's eyes. "Why would you have gotten here sooner if you'd starved?"
"I'd have died sooner," Merlin says, setting his own bowl aside. "Gotten here quicker."
"You think you're dead?" Arthur asks, "Do you feel dead?"
Merlin shakes his head, smiling as Arthur takes his face into his hands, searching his eyes. "No, which I thought was funny at first." Merlin covers Arthur's hands with his own. "I still felt ill. I wasn't expecting death to feel so similar to life, but I suppose there was no way to know ahead of time. I guess there's no reason not to feel like life."
"Merlin," Arthur says. He looks for any sign of jest in Merlin's expression, but he finds none. He really has no idea. "This is your idea of heaven? Being with me?"
Merlin nods, sincere. "Of course."
Then Arthur laughs. "You idiot," he says, "Oh, Merlin, I love you so much." He laughs into the kiss he plants on Merlin's lips, and laughs as he gently presses Merlin down into the mattress.
They lie there for what seems like ages, the two of them laughing and kissing together until they're breathless.
"This isn't heaven," Arthur whispers against Merlin's ear, "You survived that whole thing. The knights and I found you and brought you back to Camelot."
Merlin stills beneath him. "Wait, what?"
Arthur pulls back to look at Merlin's confused face. "What's the last thing you remember, before you woke up here?"
"The cliff," Merlin replies, "I didn't starve there?"
"No," Arthur shakes his head. "And I didn't die either."
"But-" Merlin stutters, pushing to sit up, "How? I saw them throw you."
"They threw me," Arthur says, wrapping his arms around Merlin again, "But it wasn't such a big drop. The knights found me at the bottom and brought me back to Camelot, nursed me back to health. Then we came back for you."
"You didn't die," Merlin says. His eyes are wide, unbelieving.
"Neither of us did."
Merlin stares as if he's looking at a ghost. Seconds stretch by, until finally Merlin throws himself at Arthur, burying his face into the crook of his neck and hugging him tight.
"Oh my god," Merlin sobs, "Oh my god, Arthur."
Arthur laughs and holds Merlin close, kissing the top of his head. "You idiot."
They tumble back down, Merlin pressing kisses to whatever piece of skin he can reach.
"I thought-" He gasps between kisses, "I thought we were- that this was-"
"I know," Arthur says, "But it's not. We're alive! And we're still together."
Merlin stops his kissing and starts to hold Arthur close again.
"This means I could lose you again."
Arthur sighs and shifts them so that they're lying more comfortably, pressing his face into the slope of Merlin's neck.
"You won't," He promises, "I won't ever leave you. I swear it."
Merlin kisses him. "I don't ever want to lose you. Not ever again, Arthur."
"I'm here," Arthur says. "Merlin, I'm here."
Merlin sighs, squeezes his arms just a little bit tighter.
They lie like that, holding each other close, until night falls and they fall asleep. That night they dream of peace, of love, of a long life together.