Comfort Math

Word Count: ~ 1.200

Summary: In fact, David intended to do more, be more, with Charlie. Even when there were days like this, even when Charlie's genius took control of his life and ripped him away from everyone.

Characters: David Sinclair, Charlie Eppes

Pairing: Charlie/David

Rating: R

Setting: Sometime in season 2

Warnings: Language

Author's Note: Written for rounds_of_kink. It's the first time I took part, so I stuck to a rather harmless kink. This is for ladygray99 who prompted the kink Cuddling with the following scenario: Some days Charlie just wants to be held. I never wrote Charlie/David before and this was surprisingly hard. I hope you like it.

Disclaimer: I'm not making money with this fanfic. The tv-show Numb3rs and the characters appearing within it belong to their producers and creators. Any similarities to living or dead persons are purely coincidental and not intended.

xxx

It was a room full of blackboards filled with numbers, equations, problems and solutions, the air thick with chalk dust and the surface of every table and desk littered with uneaten meals and empty mugs, printouts and books, the laptop running some sort of analysis. The room looked like it always did and yet, something was different. There was no cheerful banter between colleagues or brothers, no eager search, no busy click-clacking of chalk and tapping on the laptop's keyboard, just silence. The sun streamed through the windows, its light seeming cold in this atmosphere. David had always liked the Eppes' garage, but like this, it gave him the creeps. He understood now what Don had meant when he'd turned up at the hospital with a tired expression and a worried frown dug into his forehead. "Charlie's doing it again."

Before now, David had never seen it. Just heard of it. He'd never quite believed Don, didn't think a person as rational and logical as Charlie could struggle so much, but apparently, he'd told the truth.

"You shouldn't be here," Charlie said and David found him in an armchair in a corner of the room, curled up between piles of books. He looked tired, as if he hadn't seen a bed in days. According to Don, that was the case. It was also the reason David had come here now, knowing that Don was busy at the office and Alan still in Toronto, visiting family. It was just David and Charlie and that meant they could talk openly, without worrying about being overheard. Because what they had – what they did – was still a secret. Even though David sometimes felt as if it was tattooed on his forehead.

I'm fucking the boss's little brother.

And I don't intend to stop.

In fact, he intended to do more, be more, with Charlie. Even when there were days like this, even when Charlie's genius took control of his life and ripped him away from everyone.

David shoved his hands in his trouser pockets and took a pointed look around. "I think I'm exactly where I need to be."

Charlie got up and brushed past him to one of the blackboards, wiping it clean with angry, little movements, and starting a new string of equations. "You should be at the hospital. With Colby."

"He's been asking for you. I thought I'd take you there."

Charlie paused. "I can't leave right now. I'm working."

"On what? The case is solved, Colby's gonna be alright."

"Reviewing," Charlie answered. "I'm reviewing my calculations. To see where I went wrong." With that, he started writing, the clacking of the chalk forming a furious rhythm. David sighed. He'd been afraid of that. Charlie's guilt was like a heavy weight pulling him down sometimes. The very idea that math hadn't been able to help, that he hadn't been fast and smart enough …

"Colby getting hurt wasn't your fault. If you'd come with me, he could tell you himself."

Charlie's fingers tightened around the chalk and his other hand gripped the blackboard's edge. "I'm not done yet."

"You are."

Charlie whirled around to him. "Don't you dare tell me what to do!" There were tears in his eyes. "I can't even tell myself what to do! This is what my head is telling me to do right now. I have to know … what I did wrong."

"Charlie, this isn't good for you," David said calmly.

"I just … I need ..." He swallowed and ducked his head.

David stepped closer and reached out a hand. "Come on, I'll take you home with me. We order in some food and-"

"No!" Charlie replied. "I can't … I ..." He squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath. He raised a hand, running it through his hair and making a fist, pulling on the dark locks slightly.

"Stop that," David said. He stepped closer and pried Charlie's hand from his hair, palming it between his own. He ran his thumb over Charlie's knuckles and felt Charlie's fingers curl around his, squeezing, holding on.

It was quiet for a moment, then Charlie said softly, "We'll go to your place together and eat and have sex and that's not what I want. It's not what I need."

David nodded in understanding. "Okay. What do you need?"

"This!" Charlie answered, slapping his free hand against the blackboard, leaving some of the numbers smudged. "This is …" He shook his head, unable to form words.

"Comfort?" David asked, his eyebrows raised.

Charlie avoided his eyes.

"You don't think I can give you that?"

"We're not like that."

"I thought we were," David said softly.

Charlie looked at him. "We're friends. We have sex."

David sighed. "That's it? Really?"

Charlie looked at him. "Isn't it?"

David looked at him for a moment, lost for words, but then he answered, "Alright, I don't know what exactly it is, yet, and I know that we're not really … we're not, but I'd like to think that you would at least come to me for comfort."

Charlie dug the heel of his hand into his eye. "I'm sorry. I'm ..." David pulled him closer, wrapping his arms around him. Charlie's arms found their way around David's neck. "I mess things up," he whispered. "I messed things up with Don and Amita and I'll mess up with you ..."

"Sh!" David interrupted him. He tightened his embrace, felt Charlie clutch him closer. "It's okay."

Charlie was warm and he smelled of chalk and chocolate and … like he needed a shower, but David didn't mind. Not really. Not when it meant that they were finally setting boundaries and exploring what they had.

Charlie turned his head to hide against David's neck. "I should be able to handle this alone."

David brushed a hand through Charlie's locks. "Nobody says you should. Hell, sometimes, I can't handle things alone. We shouldn't have to."

Charlie took a deep breath and David kissed the top of his head. "Let's sit down," he suggested, leading Charlie to the worn couch. He gathered up the papers lying on it and put them on another pile on the near table. They sat and David pulled Charlie close again. Charlie rested his head on David's shoulder and yawned. David kissed his temple. "You should sleep for a bit," he suggested, rubbing circles on Charlie's arm. He felt quite tired himself and stretched out, putting his feet on the table.

"Careful," Charlie said, "that's my ..." He paused. "Forget it," he whispered. David smiled and relaxed, feeling Charlie becoming heavier. After a while, Charlie said softly, "This feels good."

"It does," David replied.

Charlie sighed. "My mom used to that." David chuckled and Charlie pulled away a bit. A smile was pulling at the corner of his mouth. "That was a bad comparison."

"It certainly wasn't the best." David's thumb brushed over Charlie's cheek and he kissed his lips, nuzzling along his cheekbone before kissing his forehead as well. He pulled Charlie closer again.

"Thank you," Charlie said.

"You just need to ask. That's what I'm here for."

END

09/12