disclaimer: nah. i don't own naruto, you silly goose. ;)
pairing(s): slight shikaino/sasusaku
warning(s): anorexia nervosa, bulimic, depression, thoughts of suicide

notes: new story. new plot. new idea. and one yamanaka ino. this is going to be one hell of a ride, huh? so, before i began this idea came from me awhile back and i've tried over and over again to make this chapter perfect, but honestly this is what came out of it. it's ridiculously short and for that i'm sorry, but however, it IS a prologue. moving on, the idea--anorexia nervous, a disorder affecting millions of people now; men and woman. it's not a issue that should be taken lightly and i by no means mean to offend anyone who has or is suffering from such.

honestly, this idea itself came from personal experiences and by the fact that we all know ino is obsess with 'dieting'. so i decide to take it to a next level. i'm not quite sure if anyone has tried this…soo….this will be new. haha. also, for the story itself i'm going to be switching from past to present quite a few times, so i'm sorry for any confusion. as for pairings, this is mostly an ino-centric story…however, there will be noticeable hints of shikaino here and there. and yes, it canon-auish? i guess you say. :D so, yeah, that's all there is to say now. read it, enjoy it hopefully, and review, please! thanks!

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Pretty Decode
author; visionary dreams

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It's not something I planned to happen. It's not something I expected to happen, either. Sure, I suppose I can be pretty vain and girly at times. But…this…this nearly took over my life. And I'm still coping. Coping in this shit-house of a ward that they have me in.

I regret every minute.
It's hard to talk about, y'know; it's hard to even think about. The pain, the hurt, the everything that went on. I look back and wonder what went wrong? I went wrong, I suppose, I think. Life went wrong, and things were out of control and everyone just seemed to forget me.

This was my only friend.

This was the only thing there for me.

This was the only thing I could control.

This living nightmare was me.

I stop writing for a minute, pushing the black notebook away with disgust. I don't want to talk about it much less write about it, but I'm forced to. To 'help' me cope and understand the root of the problem. Kami, I hate counseling.

And I hate this stupid notebook.

I throw it against the wall with a huff; it lands on the ground spine up with the pages sprawl open.

Shikamaru's supposed to see me today, that makes me feel…lost inside. And sad. Unhappy, worthless, pathetic.

I hate the way his brown eyes look over me as if I'm so sort of monster.

But heh, maybe I am.

"Ms. Yamanaka," a young nurse peeks in, "Lunch time, dear." and than she writes something on her clipboard.

I don't want to eat, I think pitifully.

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I remember back when it first started, to this exact date. It wasn't a full-blown out disorder then, it was just a harmless…addiction. A harmless barely there thing. I was ten, I believe, when Sakura left me on the bench with lost eyes and a sore throat from yelling too much.

It was the day Sakura had stopped being my friend. Left me in the dust to bleed and chase after Sasuke-kun. In reality, I hated Sasuke.

I was crinkling my nose, pulling at the sides of my stomach.

F A T.

I wanted to scream and cry and shout and yell and just break things.

Everything was just going wrong, everyone was leaving, and I was becoming fat.

I couldn't even fit into my pants tonight, I couldn't even button them.

That first night, I didn't eat dinner. I told mommy and daddy I wasn't hungry and they believed me. I lay awake for hours trying not to focus on the pain in my stomach or hear the pathetic growls. I felt so ashamed and desperately wished Sakura was there to ease my pain.

The first night was always the hardest.

And a day and half later, I ate again.

Shikamaru forced me to and the fact that I was becoming grouchy and irritated and he just knew something was wrong.

I ate like the pig that I was. I don't think I've ever ate that much in my life.

And I was okay then, and I didn't stop to think it would happen again. Until it did.

That's when my whole world kind of crashed. It was unexpected and I couldn't stop it from happening even if I wanted to. It literally took control of my life.

And I didn't try to stop it.

This my story, love it, cherish it, curse it, hate it, whatever.

But if I'm ever going to cope and understand myself better I might as begin when it really started to take over my life and everything spiral out of control, shouldn't I?

Well it all began with…