It's been a month since dad left us. All 7 of us. We don't know what to do or where to go. He left a note on the damn fridge, it said that he just couldn't take mama steppin' out on him no more. She never did anything with another man, it was always him with another woman. Mama tells us no to call them whores but Maggie, Beth and I do behind her back. She probably wouldn't care even if we said it to her face, she ain't sober no more. Downs at least 3 bottles of whiskey a week and has gone through more beer then I've ever seen any man do.

We live on a 300 acre farm in the middle of nowhere the closest town is an hour away. We have live stock and we grown tomato's and corn and we have some apple trees. We slaughter pigs and sell 'em to the people down in town. Dad usually did all the farming. Now we have no help at all and Me and Maggie can't do it all on our own. Tonight when I get done at school, Maggie and me are gonna talk to her about hiring someone to help us out.

"Maggie please just gimme your car all I wanna go to the mall" Beth begged. Beth just go her liscence and now hates to be home at all.

"Beth you are 18 and mama said no going out on your own just yet.. and 'sides I gotta do somthin' later on and I need my car so no." Maggie replied. Maggie and Beth are only my half sisters mama had Maggie when she was 18 and had Beth when she was 21. She had me when she was 23 with my dad, well my donner. I never really did call him dad he wasn't the fatherin' type.

"But Caroline's 16 and gets to go an-" Beth started to argue but was interupted with mama slamming the door.

"Maggie is 21, you are 18 Beth. Caroline is 16, Sophia is 14, Lizzie is 10, and Meika is 7. Age don't matter you ain't going. Now for fucks sake shut the hell up you're ruinin' my buzz." Mama said. She only drinks away the pain is what we tell Lizzie and Meika. But, we know the truth. She can't stand takin' care of 6 kids on her own.

"Mama, will you please listen to me for a lil' bit." Maggie begged as she followed mama into the kitchen to fill up her glass. "Mama the crops are gonna come in soon. We need to hire some help around here. Please mama we'll lose the farm if we don't hire someone fast. I can go into town and put up fliers." Maggie had sorrow in her eyes.

"We don't have any room here except for the basement, you find someone that'll clean the shit hole and live there then I don't give a damn what happens." Mama responded then she filled up her glass again.

Maggie walked into the living room crying then left to put up the fliers. I asked her if she wanted company she didn't answer.

My mama and dad didn't love each other... everyone knew that. Mama said that at one time she thought she did but, that feelin' and time was a long long time ago.

I don't really talk much. I talk to Maggie when we're workin' but, that's about it. I never really understood the point of talkin' to someone 'less it's about dying or your pregnant.

I don't like 3 things. I don't like men that think they're better then women. I don't like someone disrespecting my mama. And I don't like people. Other shit I don't really care about.

Ed made sure that I didn't want to talk same with Beth and Sophia. We all didn't like to talk Ed made sure that if we fucked up mama or Maggie paid the price. When Maggie turned 18 she stared to get beat too. Beth just turned 18 a month ago around the time Ed left so she didn't get beat just like me and Sophia and Lizzie.

Is it wrong to hate both my dad and my mom.

If it is. Then I don't want to be right.