A/N: Prompted by anon on Tumblr. Don't worry, there's no full-blown making love in here. They're saving themselves for their wedding night. ;) Although I firmly believe that they most certainly did get intimate with each other at some point. In my mind, there's no way that they waited potentially four years before doing anything.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Solace
The door swung closed on its hinges, leaving Anna and John alone. John glanced in Anna's direction, but she refused to meet his eye, staring straight ahead. He took a deep breath.
"Are you all right?" he asked her quietly.
She forced herself to meet his gaze. She smiled at him, but it was strained. "Yes, perfectly."
He risked taking her hand. "Don't believe what Vera said, Anna. She's venomous. We will be happy, I promise you. I'll sort something out. I'll stop her somehow."
"Of course you will," she replied, but there was no emotion in her voice. "I need to go, Mr. Bates. I have a lot of work to do."
"Anna, wait –" he started, but she'd already begun to walk away, leaving him alone.
He didn't see her until later that night. She told him tonelessly that she'd told Lady Mary about the visit, and that Lady Mary was going to see Sir Richard Carlisle the following day. He felt a stab of hurt that she didn't trust him to sort things out without involving the family.
But you've broken her trust several times before now. There's no wonder that she's turning to others before you.
He tried to catch her eye during dinner, but she studiously avoided him. He tried to ask her questions, but she deflected them with short answers. Inside, he was beginning to panic. Surely she wasn't letting Vera get the better of them? Not when she knew what kind of vile woman she was?
He caught her hand under the table. She shook it away, then stood.
"I'm sorry, I think I need some fresh air," she told the servants' hall.
Mrs. Hughes nodded. "Of course."
She left the room, and he stared after her, his mind reeling. He tried to concentrate on his food, but he found that he'd suddenly lost his appetite.
Abruptly, he stood too.
"I need to check on Anna," he said. He expected to be greeted by indignation, but Mrs. Hughes simply nodded. He hurried from the hall, ignoring the looks exchanged between Thomas and Miss O'Brien, pushing open the door to the courtyard.
He found her standing in the shadows, gazing up at the stars. She was shivering.
"Anna?" he asked gently. "Are you all right?"
"Yes," she said again, but it was that same terrible tone from earlier. "I'm fine."
"No, you're not," he said. "And I hate seeing you like this. Talk to me. Please."
"Like you talk to me?" she shot back, then grimaced as he winced. "I'm sorry, Mr. Bates. That was terrible of me."
"You're right," he told her softly. "I don't talk to you. Not like I should. But I promise to try harder from now on. I don't mean to shut you out."
"I know you don't," she sighed. "I'm sorry."
Tentatively, he came to rest against her side. She didn't resist when he took her hand.
"Vera's brought this on, hasn't she?" he asked her.
She flinched again upon hearing her name. "I'd rather not talk about her."
"I think we need to," he rebuked gently. "I don't want you to torture yourself. She's a vicious, manipulative woman. She thrives on misery. And if you let her get to you, then she's won."
Anna gasped sharply, and looked up into his face. He squeezed her hand.
"We're going to be fine," he told her. "If Lady Mary is involved now, then she and Sir Richard can stop her. She won't be able to publish, and she won't be able to get to us again."
"But she won't give you a divorce."
He set his mouth in a determined line. "Yes, she will. She'll have to."
Anna nodded, but she didn't look convinced. He sighed.
"What do you need?" he asked her softly. "What do you need to believe again?"
In that moment, she made up her mind. There was only thing that could reassure her now.
"Come to the servants' hall tonight, when everyone has gone to bed," she breathed quietly. "I'll show you then."
He paced until it was time to go. Anna's mysteriousness made him feel a little uneasy, but he resolved to do whatever it took to help her believe again.
He found her already sitting in the servants' hall. The sight of her took his breath away. Her hair was braided neatly. She was wearing nothing but a simple nightgown. She had her shawl wrapped around her shoulders. Her feet were bare.
"My God," he exhaled, not even aware he'd spoken until her eyes met his. Slowly, she stood, taking deliberate steps towards him. When she reached him, she took hold of his hand.
"Come with me," she whispered, barely loud enough to hear.
He could do nothing but obey, following her silently, hoping that the clack of his cane against the floor wasn't too loud. She didn't seem inclined to explain anything to him, until she came to a stop outside a door that he didn't recognise. Only then did she turn to him, her eyes shining.
"If I explain something to you now, do you promise not to interrupt me?"
"Yes," he frowned. "Anna, what –?"
She shushed him gently, before speaking. Her voice quivered with nerves. "Vera's visit scared me today. I wasn't expecting it, and just seeing her again…" Her voice trailed off, but she continued with determination. "It made me realise just how little claim I have on you."
"You have my heart," he told her. "That's more than a little claim."
She shot him a look, and he fell silent, though he noticed that she was smiling a little now. Relief flooded his body.
"Anyway," she continued, and she sounded more nervous than ever, "I know what I need to put her behind me."
"Name it," he said. "Name it, and it's yours."
Now she was blushing, but she held his gaze determinedly.
"I need to be close to you," she said.
John's eyes widened as the meaning of her words sank in. "Anna, we can't –"
"I'm not saying that we make love," she said, and now her face was positively glowing. "But I do need to…need to feel you tonight. Please, Mr. Bates."
He couldn't resist her, not like that, no matter what his honour was screaming.
"Are you sure?" he asked her.
She nodded. There was nothing but sincerity in her gaze. "I am."
Without another word, he took her hand and led her inside.
The room that she'd led them to was an old, abandoned bedroom. She told him that it hadn't been used in years, although everything in there worked very well. Including the bed. John didn't question her further.
As she'd promised, they didn't make love that night. There were other things that they could do, she'd breathed, beginning to slide his shirt from his shoulders. Things that she'd heard of during her years in service. He couldn't resist, watching her as though he was hypnotised as she worked on getting his shirt buttons undone. The look upon her face was mesmerising. Gently, he began to lift her nightgown, his hands catching her warm skin. He shivered at the inadvertent sound that she made when his hand skimmed the side of her breast.
He lavished kisses onto her face, dipping his tongue between her lips to taste her. He nuzzled himself softly against her neck, teething her collarbone just lightly. He held one of her hands in his gently as he brushed his fingers over her nipples experimentally. Her breasts were beautiful, round and soft and small. They fit perfectly in his palm, their weight delicious. He rubbed his thumb over her peeping nipple, listening to the soft groans that it elicited, vowing that he would memorise each and every sound that she made, so that he could replay them all in his mind at leisure. He was enraptured by the way that her body moved as he stroked her, enchanted by the way that her spine arched and her stomach hollowed. She kept herself nestled against his side as he gently ran a hand down her body, stroking her thighs softly.
"Is this all right?" he breathed at her.
"Yes," she said, the sound hissing from between her clenched teeth. She pressed her head into his neck and trembled lightly when he lovingly parted her thighs, seeking out the heat emanating from there. He touched her softly, so softly, allowing her to get used to the sensation of his fingers over her, gently rubbing her, listening to the way that she mewled delicately, feeling her fingers curling tightly against his arm. He kissed the top of her head, whispering to her as he slowly breached her, the wetness coating his fingertips as his thumb sought out that sweet spot which hid itself away.
"Mr. Bates," she moaned, her eyes half-lidding hazily, her fingers tightening.
"Please," he whispered, bringing his head down to capture her mouth gently, "call me John."
"John," she amended, widening her thighs unconsciously for him. He rewarded her with firmer touches, his fingers caressing her gently, and she repeated his name over and over again, the syllables rolling into one unintelligible sound. Her noises of pleasure were music to his ears, and he felt his own body answering the call of hers, adoring the way that she pushed her hips up into his hand, loving the fact that she was so responsive.
The ending took her quickly, years of pent-up desire rushing through her body, and she was left breathless and red and disorientated. He held her tenderly, giving her time to recover from her high, and then she was touching him in the same way, her fingers curious and shy, her lips drifting over the unexplored territory that she had so often dreamed of. The sight of her like that above him, small and naked and so curious, quickly proved to be his undoing too, and he was almost afraid to look at her for her reaction when he arched his back into her touch and cried out. It was a huge relief to see that she wasn't disgusted. Instead, she simply took hold of the handkerchief that she'd brought with her and cleaned them up a bit, before settling herself into the crook of his arm. There was no uncertainty in her touch, and she seemed perfectly content to snuggle up against him, the tension gone from her body.
"Are you all right now?" he asked her, just to be sure.
"Yes," was her drowsy reply. "I'm perfectly all right now. I love you."
"I love you too," he breathed into her sweaty hair, "and one day soon, we'll be happy like this, always. I promise."
She hummed a sleepy agreement and, just for a moment, he allowed her to drift away, held sated and naked in his arms. They wouldn't be able to stay long. They would need to get back to their own rooms before it was noticed that they were missing. They couldn't allow episodes like this to happen too often because he knew it would tempt them into wanting more. But that didn't matter just now.
What mattered was that her faith in their happiness had finally been restored.