Observations & Deductions, a sherlock fanfic

Observing Sherlock

He lives in a different dimension. When I look into his eyes, they are a pale blue-green colour, purer than anything I've ever seen. They seem to catch everything in their intense gaze, like a net of crystal. I can see his dreams. I've heard him say he doesn't love, and can't be loved, but I see heartbreak there, dancing among the rays of moonlight and darkening sky that have been swept up in the net. I long to stare into them all day, let myself slip into the world of his eyes, wade through icy streams filled with glass marbles, shifting beneath my feet, stare up at a hard sky, through which flocks of ideas and theories flood, drenching his world in raw intelligence. I climb out of his gaze, feeling slightly dizzy, and look at his outside again. Skin light and smooth, pale and unmarred by life, as though he were just created yesterday. His dark curls are perfect and a plain of changing colors, ranging from a light brown to a black that reminds me of an empty night. When the sun touches it, it picks it up and plays among its strands, filling the empty night with tiny stars. And when he looks back at me, I feel like my whole life is being sorted into different boxes, organized and stacked into drawers, fitting perfectly. Everything matters. He matters. I think I love him.

-JW

Deducing John

He lives in a different world. I had thought myself to be incapable of compassion towards others, so my feelings for John have come, I admit, as a bit of a relief. I don't remember when they started, just that one day, I looked at him, and saw… everything. I explored his eyes, and I couldn't tell what colour they were. They had brown facets, interlacing with strands of a deep blue, and I walked into them. I saw a red brick road, leading towards the sea, a tall building jutting from the icy waters. I recognize it as the building I had jumped off. The sound of glass breaking plays on a repeated loop, the same window breaking over and over again. I see an orange tree breaking through part of the brick road, scattering brick rubble everywhere. The sky looks almost painted, a crimson sunset explodes over the tossing waves, illuminating each window of my suicide building. I drag myself slowly out of his eyes, and find him watching me, almost with the same intensity. I rake my eyes down his face, taking in each tiny line, watching the way the shadows play under his eyes. He hasn't slept in three days. He- I stop myself from deducing more. He finally looks away from me, and continues writing on his blog. I have deduced that I love him.

-SH

His Confession?!

I didn't know that Sherlock had a private blog. I found it today. I found what he wrote, "Deducing John." I haven't cried since I was 24. Until then. I had no idea he loved me too. I don't think he reads my blog, thank god. That would be bloody embarrassing. -JW

His Blog?!

I had no idea that John was bisexual. I was reading his blog for the first time yesterday. I'm always so much smarter. It was all the normal cases, and then… "Observing Sherlock." I skipped over the title at first. He always had the worst titles. I had no idea who he was talking about, until I went back and saw the title. I couldn't believe that he was talking about me, or that anyone found me to be good enough. I haven't cried since Mycroft left. Until now. I am grateful that he hasn't found my private blog. He doesn't need to see what I said about him.

-SH