Begging for Favors
A Kagerou Project fanfiction
Shintaro was never one to beg for favors.
Not from his parents, his sisters, not even from his King or Queen.
Not even from the princess that befriended him, though she constantly tells him to speak his mind and say what he needs.
He never was one to ask for favors. So he'd never found it a habit to ask for them from the Gods.
But right now, he found himself hiding behind a pillar, cursing under his breath as the clack-clack-clack of boots passed by and the echoes of that warm, sweet voice faded into the distance.
He takes a deep breath and moves out from his impromptu hiding spot, staring in the direction where the prince had walked through.
This is ridiculous. He scolds himself as he takes deep breaths to calm his heart, but even now just the mere sight of him, just hearing his voice...
He shakes his head and walks back to his room, where he proceeds to hide in for the rest of the day.
Or at least, that was what he'd planned.
The door shuts behind them with a startlingly loud bang and he flinches at the sound.
"Shintaro," he says and it's stupid, it's stupid how it makes his heart race just from the sound of his voice shaping his name and the look in Seto's eyes is unreadable as he continues, "Why are you avoiding me?"
"...What do you mean, Your Highness?"
"You've been avoiding me." Seto repeats and as he steps closer to Shintaro, the knight automatically steps back and he sees the prince's expression darken, "You're still avoiding me even now...why?"
"I-I'm not avoiding you, your Majesty." And he hates how his voice falters, how it sounds. Young. Vulnerable. For once, Kisaragi Shintaro, whose name was whispered fearfully amongst those in the shadows and was fresh on the lips of dying men, was just a normal boy.
A normal boy who was currently facing the prince, the soon-to-be king of his country, his childhood friend and the love of his life.
Was this love? He didn't even know that.
He just knew that as they both grew, the feelings that he associated with the prince gradually developed as well, from stranger to prince to friend and finally to someone whose face, voice haunted his every waking thought, every dream...and those dreams weren't his most innocent ones, it must be said.
"Nee-san saw you in the dining hall." Shintaro flinched at that; the one time that he wanted to avoid the prince was the one time that Ayano actually stuck her head in the dining hall on time. More proof that Lady Luck hated him.
Shintaro didn't have much time to mentally gripe about the unfairness of it all before Seto continues, "As I thought, you hate me now. Don't you?"
"What? No, no I don't!"
"Last week, in the garden", Seto says and his voice fades to a whisper, as if saying the words out loud would make Shintaro push him away, make him walk away from the prince forever, "when I kissed you..you've been avoiding me since then. It's only natural for me to assume that you hate me."
Shintaro's face grows red as he recollects the memory.
The touch warm on his skin, fingers stroking his cheek, a strong, gentle arm cradling the small of his back...
"I don't hate you."
"You do." Seto says, a sad smile on his face, "I understand. No matter if I am this country's prince; I am still male."
Breath hot on his ear, the sound of hurried, harsh breathing fills the quiet garden, Shintaro's name murmured over and over again, sweet, pleading, kisses clumsy, experimental, inexperienced.
His heart beats, it beats so loud and fast that he thinks it may burst from his chest.
"I don't hate you!" Shintaro repeated with more force, "I could never hate you!"
"You're so kind. You always were. Putting up with me...ah, I was hard to handle, wasn't I? So insistent on being your friend, so insistent on getting to know you." Seto looks up and his expression...
It hurt. It hurt him.
It hurts to look at him like this; his smile was so sad, shoulders hunched, he was the saddest Shintaro had ever seen and Shintaro hates it, he wants Seto to be his happy, normal smiling self.
His fingers itched to touch, to chase those uncertainties away.
And yet, he still held back.
"I would be lying if I said that I befriended you with the purest of intentions. Even back then, back when Nee-san first found you, when I saw you, I...I suppose I fell in love with you at first sight. Quite a sickening thought, if you consider the circumstances of our meeting. You must be disgusted with me, I'm sorry." And he turns and Shintaro's heart plummets, no...wait, no!
"Seto, wait!"
Seto looks back in shock; Shintaro rarely ever used his name.
He's used it only once before.
And his voice shakes as he calls the prince's name, softly, barely breathing.
"I mean...your Majesty. Wait." Shintaro's composure is slipping away now and his cheeks grow warm from embarrassment, but his voice is strong, "I...please wait."
Seto is surprised now; the emotion is plain on his face. And in his eyes, a small sliver of hope shines, fearful, wary.
Shintaro looks away.
"...Why?" He asks finally. "Why me?"
I could have...for just a bit longer...why did you do this?
"'Why you?'" Shintaro nodded and Seto fell silent, considering his answer. "I don't know. I don't suppose I'll ever know the answer. I just know that I love you." He said finally and he moves towards him and Shintaro just stands there, he can't find it in himself to move, he's trapped by those strong, beautiful eyes, "I love you."
And there it was, those three little words that threw his world off-axis; he's hyper-aware of hands taking his, stroking the back of his palms, of the heat flooding his cheeks and his heartbeat in his ears and his dry mouth, he tries to respond but words slip out of his reach and all he could do is stare at Seto as he repeats, "I loveyou. I love you, Shintaro."
Don't say it, don't say it, don't say those words.
Don't make me hopeful for a love that will fail.
"But...you're the prince..." Shintaro managed to say finally, "Why would you love me? A commoner, a male commoner, I don't..." He swallowed, trying to salvage what was left of his normal, blank composure, With all due respect, I think you're mistaken. Your Majesty has just confused your feelings of friendship for me as something more."
He flinches a little as Seto reaches for him, taking some strands of hair between his finger and thumb, moving down before he touches Shintaro's cheek and Shintaro's unable to suppress a shiver as he swipes his thumb over his lips, slightly parted.
"Would I kiss my 'friend' on the lips?" He asks, more of a quiet demand than a question, "Would I feel the need to hold you close when you return from a battle, tired and injured and chase all your troubles away? Would I ache for more of your touch, as innocent as it may be and would I dream of you every night, of you in my arms as I kiss you, touch you..."
Shintaro swallows as he sees the clear honey of Seto's eyes darken as he continues to speak, "You can't..." He says, almost pleading now, "You can't love me, not me."
A sour expression flits over Seto's face before his eyes flutter to a close and he leans in, closing the distance between them.
His lips are soft. And warm.
That memory of last week, in the garden, Shintaro had recounted the memory so many times since that day in each waking moment but what he remembered was a pale imitation to the real thing. And oh, how he craved it, he wanted this so much; the warmth on his lips spread through his body and he stretches up to him, hands touching the silk of his clothes. He feels Seto's tongue brush against his lips, tasting them and he opens his mouth, deepening the kiss.
"Hnn...ahh" And he can feel the tremors travelling through Seto's body through his fingertips when a soft moan sneaks its way out of the kiss and fingers move up his neck and tangle in his hair, tilting his head up towards him, other hand winding down the small of Shintaro's back, pulling him closer until their bodies touch and at this point, Shintaro breaks the kiss, gasping for air.
"Sorry..." Seto said, "I didn't mean...I..."
"Seto..." The name was more of a whine and Shintaro is aware of the way his body presses against Seto's, of how he clings to him and it's so embarrassing he honestly might die of it on the spot, but...but he needed, he wanted...
"Seto..." Shintaro leans up to kiss him again and he feels the boy tense up in surprise.
I need this.
I want this.
"Shintaro...wait..." Seto says and he tries to break them apart, push him away and Shintaro pushes up against him, feeling another shiver wrack Seto's body as he says, "Don't make me beg for it...let me keep this last shred of dignity, Seto."
"Shintaro?"
You've stolen it all.
My attention, my thoughts, my temperature, my dreams.
My mind.
"I don't know what love is. Not the kind of love you speak of, anyway." Shintaro says, as he pulls away again and Seto looks at him and Shintaro feels the fire under his skin spread from his arm, where Seto's hand is touching him, thumb stroking his skin and from his eyes, captivated by that nervous, hopeful, longing gaze, "You should know this as well, being my friend for so long. I'm a cold person, I don't show emotion. I don't know what love is...so, I could be mistaken entirely by what I feel for you. And I don't want you to get hurt. Because I..." His voice trails off and Seto groans as he stares back, biting his lip and Shintaro feels to urge to bite on it, suck on it, never stop kissing him, touching him, "...I've had dreams of you too."
And without warning, he's pulled into another kiss, one which he accepts; he closes his eyes and his hand touches Seto's cheek tenderly, taking in the taste of him, the feel of him like he's been dreaming of for days, weeks, months on end and when his legs suddenly meet the edge of his bed and he's sprawled on the mattress and Seto is leaning over him and he kisses Shintaro's forehead tenderly and Shintaro whimpers a little as he feels hands slip under his shirt, jerking a little when Seto touches warm, bare skin and pinching his nipple between his finger and thumb, "A-ah, Seto, wait-"
Seto pushes his shirt up and leans in and he feels something impossibly warm and wet touch him, tease him, suck him and oh, it's driving him mad; he'll die of madness by his prince's hand and his arms touch the base of the boy's neck, pressing against him, hushed, staccato moans leaving his lips, a harsh gasp when Seto's hand sneaks up and touches his other nipple, "Wait...no, Seto, n-not both at...nngh! A-ahh, hhnn.."
His body gradually grows lax under the prince's ministrations, apart from the way it twitched and reacted under him like a high-strung violin and utterances of the prince's name is heard more frequently as he begs for it to stop, please stop, no, don't stop, never stop,oh Gods, Seto...
"Let out your voice, Shintaro", It's embarrassing, no, he can't do that, but he can't resist him, can never resist him and his voice gradually grows louder, moreso when Seto's hand sneaks downward and palms the hardness around his groin and he calls his name in an embarrassingly high voice and Seto leans in and kisses him again, and Shintaro feels the desperation and need, tastes it even, almost tangible and he says, "Se...to?"
"I...still can't believe this", Seto murmurs into his skin , "You're so perfect. I've dreamed so much of this, of you, but...you're more beautiful than I imagined."
Shintaro didn't think it possible to have more heat on his cheeks but there probably was, for Seto looks at him and smiles, kissing his forehead, "I love you."
And Shintaro's heart jumps, literally skips a beat; Seto's holding him so tenderly, like he was made of glass and he's touching him, like he has in those dreams, on those cold, lonely nights alone, fingers gripping the mattress in a futile attempt to ground himself as Seto starts to move down his chest, hands splayed on his sides, stroking him tenderly.
Seto starts to move downward, trailing kisses down his stomach and pulling at the hem of Shintaro's pants and when he speaks, his voice is a hum in Shintaro's skin, "Is it ok? I mean...can I please?"
Shintaro shakes his head; he's so scared of his walls being torn down so easily, of being laid bare under his gaze, but...he slowly sits up as Seto pauses to watch him, Shintaro kisses him, slow and deep, pulls at Seto's shirt and moves back, pulling him on the bed with him.
"Don't...don't you dare stop now." He says in as strong a voice he can manage and Seto groans and holds him close, falling on top of him and when a hand sneaks down and touches the young knight, he bites his lip hard, opening eyes that he didn't even know were closed when Seto moves up suddenly and tugs at Shintaro's lip with his teeth, kissing him, slow and sweet.
"Your lips are softer than I'd imagined." Seto whispers and he could feel the heat of his breath on them, "I can't stop tasting them, kissing them." As he speaks, his hand starts to pick up the pace and Shintaro's moans are muffled by kiss after kiss and Seto leans back to admire him, the way he writhed, hips bucking into his touch, a voice that's normally so strong, broken down, breathless, mindless repetitions of his name that dripped with need.
He withdraws his hand and Shintaro raises his head to complain about the loss of touch but is stopped short when he sees Seto pull his shirt over his head, eyes greedily roving the expanse of his skin. He pauses, staring at Shintaro for a long minute before he sheds the clothes covering his lower half as well.
Shintaro is frozen, staring at the now-nude boy in front of him, aware of the fresh wave of awkwardness and embarrassment flushing his skin with red. He gulps and the sound is loud in the tense silence and he croaks out half-words, a hand raised to reach him, touch him.
Seto leans in and meets him halfway.
One hand is soon joined by another and soon, their hands start to rove the other's body, chased by lips and tongues and daring little nips on the skin, their breath mingling as one, kisses pressed into their hair. So when he feels fingers pressed against his lips, Shintaro wordlessly gives his consent and opens his mouth, dragging his tongue and sucking on them, lust heating his half-lidded gaze. As soon as his fingers are free, Seto's lips occupy his and Shintaro doesn't even notice where he takes them until he feels something probe his ass.
"Nnn! Seto, wha-?!"
"Shh. Relax." His other hand winds around the small of Shintaro's back, grounding him even as he lays the boy back down on the bed. Carefully, he pushes a finger in.
Shintaro whimpers at the sudden intrusion, but takes in a deep breath, calming himself. Seto pauses, gauging his reaction before he says, "I'm going to...insert another one..."
Shintaro's teeth gnash together with the effort of keeping quiet but broken moans still slip from his lips and Seto blinks as he carefully starts to stretch the boy out, "...This is easier than I thought it would be."
"...!" Shintaro looks away, shutting his eyes before mumbling, "Give me a break...I'm still a teenager, Seto. I have my needs..."
And Seto realizes what he's talking about and his mouth makes a small 'o' of surprise. "You...w-wait do you mean...with me?"
"Yeah."
And suddenly Shintaro feels a warm weight collapse on his shoulder and then his entire body and he opens his eyes just as Seto mumbles, "Aaaah...what should I do? I'm so happy I think I could die..."
...That should be my line, idiot.
When Seto inserts a third finger, Shintaro resorts to biting the inside of his cheek but that plan quickly loses effect when he feels Seto's other arm start to move over his body again, varying between a light, teasing glide and slow, sweet touches, pinching his skin at certain points, "Let me hear you."
"S-Seto...ahh, Seto..."
"It'll start feeling good soon. So just...let me help you."
Even though he's already prepared himself before, the feeling of being stretched is still uncomfortable and painful to him. Seto is holding himself back though and distracting him with kisses, his other hand stroking him, light then hard and Shintaro can hear himself begging for more, more, more in that same shameful voice and feels his body go rigid when he feels something deep inside him being struck, white blinding his vision, near-screams being ripped from his throat.
"Se...Seto!"
Seto swore under his breath, pulling Shintaro closer to him. "Gods...you're so beautiful like this..."
Seto's name is little more than a mumble in his throat when the fingers are pulled out of him and Seto starts to push slowly in Shintaro.
"Ggh! Agh!"
"Relax, my love."
"Seto...it feels...nnnh, weird..."
"Does it hurt, Shintaro?"
Shintaro glares at him, "O-of course it doe-hnn! I-it does...but it's more uncomfortable than anything. I-I feel so full...it's weird."
Seto kisses the tip of his nose, a sweet, loving smile on his face, "I'm going to start moving now, ok?" He starts to withdraw until he's almost fully out then moves back in him and it feels so foreign, but as uncomfortable as it was, he couldn't stop even if he wanted to.
Hot...
There's a fire under his skin that breaks down everything in him, turning his mind to mush and his heart is beating so loud he can barely hear Seto's constant reassurances but he can feel the tender way he holds him, like he's made of glass and can snap with a single flick of Seto's fingers even as Seto starts to pick up the pace, thrusting harder and harder into him until he strikes that spot again and Shintaro cries out again.
"There...huh?"
Shintaro nods fervently and he starts to move as well, hips moving upwards to meet his, spreading his legs a little more.
Surrendering himself to the prince.
"Haah...mnnn..."
"I love you. I love you so please...please don't ever leave me. Don't ever leave me like that, Shintaro."
"Seto..."
"I'm so close..." Seto says, his words are hushed and Shintaro reaches out to take one of Seto's hands in his own and place it over his own chest. "Me too."
And his body is seized by yet another flash of pleasure, pulling him even closer to the edge of something that he can't even name and he pulls Seto close, feeling the body in his arms tense even as he pushes harder within him.
He's dimly aware of warmth splattering over his skin and inside of him and of the burning in his throat as he screams his pleasure.
And that his scream shapes Seto's name.
Seto slowly pushes himself off of him and rolls to his side and he's looking at him with eyes that hold a hint of fear even as he smiles at him, pulling the covers over Shintaro.
"It's a bit late, isn't it? You should...you should get some rest." He says. And he's about to push himself back up when Shintaro's hand grabs him arm.
Shintaro says, "...And you should get some rest too."
Seto looks back at him, shock flitting across his face, before his smile returns, that pure, lovely smile that never failed to make Shintaro's heart skip a beat. Even now, tired as he was, "Yes, I should. Thank you, Shintaro."
He lies back down on the bed and Shintaro moves closer towards him. "It's cold." was his only explanation.
"That it is."
And the silence around them is comfortable, a welcome change from the charged, tense one that crackled with something that he refused to accept.
"Seto?"
"Hmm? What is it?"
"...Nothing."
You shouldn't be afraid.
Because I can't ever leave you...no matter how much I wish for it.