In spite of being one of the bravest jounins ever, Kakashi has problems getting closer to his favorite person – teacher Iruka. Here is his next genius plan. He manages to take the place of interrogator during the teacher's certification.
*- phase 1 -*
They called the procedure 'certification via interrogation'. All academy teachers had an obligation to stand their certification (read: examination) every year. Usually, it was held either by Ibiki himself, or by some randomly chosen Anbu.
According to the current year's plan, Iruka's certification was scheduled to this day. And he just found out Ibiki was out of the village.
It was extremely unfortunate. Iruka always had his certifications with Ibiki, and thought it was a safe case.
With Anbu, it could never be safe. Iruka was sure Anbu were the craziest people in the world. And he had good reasons to think that. He never wanted to become one, although he was skillful and crazy enough for the job. He even was promoted for a position numerous times. Thanks to the big luck, he became a teacher in the academy, and he was enormously grateful for that.
Either way, he didn't like the idea of spending who knows how many hours in a row locked in an isolated room with some crazy Anbu. Nevertheless, he had to. It was scheduled long time ago, and Iruka wasn't a kind of man to chick out last minute.
He entered the room, sat at the chair. Whoever they were, his Anbu were late.
Iruka waited.
He waited patiently.
To wait in this empty (except for the chair Iruka sat on and the table near the wall) room was rather thrilling. Moreover, it was cold.
Iruka sighed, crossed his arms on his chest, and pressed his legs together to safe the warmth. Another hour like this, and he'll freeze!
On the other hand, if his Anbu won't come at all, Iruka's certification will be postponed. With a bit of luck it'll last until the time Ibiki returns. Iruka smiled at this stray thought, and that very moment his Anbu finally entered the room.
The masked creature closed the door, in complete silence went straight to the table, sat at its corner and, with surprisingly loud clang, threw an unfilled questionnaire and a pen at its surface. After that, Anbu froze and stared at Iruka through the black holes of porcelain mask.
"Yo!"
It sounded like male voice. Iruka slowly exhaled to suppress his anger and nervous trembling, and stared back.
"Hello. You are late." He hoped he sounded polite enough, but wasn't sure about that.
"Yes. So?" Anbu wondered casually.
Iruka said nothing, now boiling with anger. Suddenly, he forgot he felt cold just a moment ago. Moreover, his cheeks were slowly gaining color red.
Anbu watched him for a short time, and then grunted, took the previously abandoned questionnaire and the pen from the table, and began to write in a slow manner, simultaneously drawling in monotone voice.
"Umino Iruka, currently one of academy's teachers. I see." He paused, and then continued in rather sarcastic tone. "Quick to lose his temper. Gets angry without a real reason." Anbu stopped to write and looked up at Iruka. "Correct, sensei?"
Iruka felt mortified and so offended! Why was it happening to him? Just terribly unfair.
However, who was Iruka to say something about it? He came here to be certificated for the next year of teaching. He liked working with kids. He had to endure. Because, if this Anbu decides Iruka wasn't good enough for a role of a teacher, he'll lose his job. If he loses the job, he'll have to volunteer for a position of some crazy Anbu.
That's why, in spite of Iruka's blood was boiling, he kept silent. He remembered how certification with Ibiki was never a problem for him. It was even fun and every time very interesting. Right now Iruka awfully missed Ibiki.
"Okay," Anbu continued without a haste. For a long minute he stared into the questionnaire. "Now, you have to answer several questions I choose to ask."
Iruka nodded sharply. Not only was this Anbu late, he was also insolent. Iruka already disliked him. Nevertheless, he so depended on his notes!
"First question -," Anbu drawled. "Do you have anyone you are currently dating?"
It was so out of character and order, Iruka thought he misheard something.
"What?" he croaked in a strange voice.
Anbu gave him a long look and then wrote in his questionnaire.
"Declined to answer the first question. Such a pity."
Iruka immediately jumped up in protest.
"I didn't say I decline to answer your question!" he cried.
There was a pause.
"Ill-mannered and hotheaded," Anbu said and once again noted something.
Iruka gritted his teeth. He can do it! He can remain cool!
"I'm sorry." Iruka sat back down at his chair. "I didn't understand your question."
Anbu made another note.
"Slow and thick," he commented.
Now that was too much for Iruka's temper! He made an enormous effort and didn't throw his chair in Anbu's face.
"Please, repeat the question," he hissed through his teeth.
Anbu nodded and asked again.
"Do you have a lover?"
"No, I don't!" Iruka started to shout even before Anbu finished talking. "And I don't understand why you ask me that during my certification for profession of a teacher!"
Anbu nodded as if to his own thoughts.
"Riotous and rowdy," he wrote another word in his questionnaire and addressed Iruka, "Say, sensei, do you really think you are in position to oppose me?"
Angry Iruka didn't manage to hide his feelings and openly pouted.
His Anbu watched him attentively.
"Then, let's continue," he suggested in a pretentiously jolly voice. "Next, tell me why."
Iruka blinked.
"What?"
Anbu sighed heavily.
"Again, sensei? I thought we already passed the rebellious stage."
Iruka raised his hands in defeat.
"Sorry I'm slow!" he barked. "Please, ask me again."
Anbu stared at Iruka for a while through the black holes of his mask, and then commented.
"With such quirks, you must be incredibly good as a teacher." He shook his head and, again, asked patiently. "Why don't you have a lover?"
"I don't have one, because I don't want to." Iruka hissed in quick and angry voice. "Please tell me - how is this an important information for my certification?"
After noting something in the questionnaire, Anbu addressed him with a pity in his voice.
"Atmosphere is very important. People, who have a partner, are stable to stand against the changes of the world."
Iruka rolled his eyes.
"I'm stable enough!" he cried in despair.
"I can see it very well," Anbu laughed. "That is why you are so red-faced and uncontrollably trembling in anger."
That bastard! Iruka had nothing to do, but to bite his lower lip and avert his face to the side.
Yes, he knew. He behaved like some deranged freak, indeed. He didn't like when people asked him questions about his private life. Just because he didn't have one. He didn't even know why! He was a good man, everybody around said so. Only, there was not one single person cool, or maybe foolish, enough, to approach him. Damn them all, cowards!
"Let's see," Anbu drawled, as if analyzing his observations. "Very impressive, sensei."
"What's so impressive?" Iruka muttered.
"You. Impressed me quite a bit." Anbu growled, like some predator he was, forcing a shiver run down Iruka's spine. "According to the material I have here, you are not qualified to be a proper teacher. At all."
"After only two unconventional questions? You don't even know me!" Iruka's voice was quiet and pleading. He already understood he miserably failed this certification. He made an awful impression, all because he couldn't control his temper while communicating with shameless rascals!
"You have a point." Anbu said suddenly, and it made Iruka raise his head in hope. "I'll give you a tiny chance to improve."
Iruka's face lightened.
"Yes, please let me do it. What can I do to improve?"
"I give you one week. You are to find yourself a good sincere partner for life. It's your only chance, sensei."
Iruka's eyes became big and he froze in shock. He stared into the thin air in front of him, seeing nothing, and didn't even notice his Anbu silently leave the room.
How was he going to accomplish this task in one week, when he didn't manage to accomplish it during all long years of his life?