A/N Credits to Shed Production for the loan of these characters without which this fic could not have been written – also to the quote from the Women in Prison website, ./
I would also like to thank my fellow writer Kristine who betaed this and that this fic is very likely to have had origins in the Bad Girls Series 1-2 discussions
PART ONEThe late afternoon sunshine slanted down into the street. The busy cars were propelled onwards in their never-ending journey round London. The party people were doing their usual routines in the club just yards away and the graphically designed sign "Chix" invited the eager, the hungry, the hopeful and the resolutely single to enter its doors. The two women locked in a passionate embrace were oblivious to everything around them. For that glorious moment of freedom meant that both of them had only eyes for each other. Nothing else mattered.
Nikki was incredibly aroused by how much passion was let off the leash in the smaller woman as she pressed herself up against her and her tongue was deep inside her mouth.
She could feel Helen's fingers softly stroking her hair and in turn she held the other woman close to her. They were interlocked for ages, oblivious to everything. Both of them ran their hands sensually over each other's bodies, black cloth next to red leather and denim. Time's minutes and the hour's little hand had fallen off the clock and that need to segment time for future happenings was abolished. All there was in the world was that urgent desire for physical contact, to reassure each other that at last they were as one.
It was reluctantly that they finally moved slightly apart, both of them shiny eyed, and breathless, and hardly being able to believe in the sight of each other.
"Suppose we go somewhere else, darling." Nikki murmured." We can't stay here all day, can we?"
In answer, Helen slid her arm round the taller woman's waist as they walked back in the direction of the club and paused. Undifferentiated feelings of desire ran through them but neither of them knew for a moment just exactly what to do. The world had shifted violently on its axis in such a short period of time that it took time for both of them to assimilate it all. It was Nikki that started the first tentative plan for both of them. Immense feelings of satisfaction ran through her nervous system that, yes she had the right to do this. She was a free woman, after all.
"I'll fetch my things from the club. Be right back, Helen." Nikki said softly at last. There was a little smile on her face and a light in her eyes.
Helen stood awhile leaning limply against a pillar, watching the world go by. The streets were deserted and gave those London streets that peculiar loneliness. The big city was no friend to those who hadn't got friends or lovers around them or any purpose in life. She was off the frantic revolving wheel of the madness of life at Larkhall. She gazed into the distance and her obvious proposition echoed back to her 'I want a woman. So simple, so final but how much heart searching it had taken to get there let alone the fact that the question needed asking in the first place.
A momentary shiver of worry ran through her. Suppose Nikki had disappeared? Suppose that she would never see her again? A spasm of fear ran through her until she felt those light fingers brush against her shoulders and her heart jumped with relief.
"My mobile library and my clothes, pretty knackered from years of prison washing machines," joked Nikki.
"What are we doing? I suppose we're not going back for a drink after all, but we're going somewhere elsewhere, aren't we," Nikki mumbled.
"Back to my flat when we can grab a cab," Helen answered in determined tones.
"Your place rather than mine. That sounds good enough as I haven't got one."
Helen's carrying voice managed to hail down a black cab and both of them collapsed into the back seat. Helen rattled out the directions and, for the second time that day, Nikki was whisked away to her future, this time away from Nikki's ex- girlfriend with whom it had once appeared she would be reunited. While Helen's shapely hands closed around Nikki's, the other woman was pale and quiet.
"What's wrong, Nikki?" that softly spoken concerned voice whispered into her ear as Helen leaned close up to her.
"It's the cab. It was only a few hours ago that Trish took me from court to the club and, here I am, with you by my side. It feels strange being whizzed around in a cab after three years inside." Nikki's tired voice answered as she put her hand to her forehead.
Helen slid her arm round Nikki's shoulders to part comfort, part hold her while the cab driver in his driving shell studiously studied the road ahead. They were oblivious to him as indeed they were to people about them. They were not answerable to them or to any rules they might choose to set. Helen was up high with their freedom to do as they will and Nikki felt the same, sort of when she learned to not look out of the window.
Presently, they turned the corner and an iconic, many times remembered surroundings leapt into view. The only difference was that it was broad daylight. How many times could Nikki remember desperately pacing up the front steps to Helen's front door and, precious hours later, overfull of love and affection, she had slipped out with Helen to her car.
"I can remember this street, this flat …..just as I last saw it. It's there for me, for us."
"We're home, sweetheart." Helen smiled broadly.
Nikki visibly melted. Both words had such a strong, powerful, centring effect on her.
Helen reached forward to the window and paid the driver, then grabbed hold of one of Nikki's plastic bags and steadied Nikki as she stepped uncertainly out of the cab. There was somehow a slightly cleaner, fresher air round here or was it her own senses that were coming alive? As Nikki walked carefully up the steps, Helen slid ahead and, with a slightly shaking hand, turned the key in the lock. The large door opened silently and, mouth open, Nikki could not believe how easy it was to enter. Everything in her life, which she had to strive for, was now suddenly opening up for her so easily. Smiling, Helen gave a ceremonious bow, holding the wide open door.
"Everything is exactly as I've pictured it," breathed Nikki, a look of wonder on her face.
"Excerpt that there's nothing stopping you being here. Not now." Came the gentle reply.
"You remembered?"
"As if I could ever forget that night, Nikki. Welcome to our home."
Dazed, Nikki shook her head. Helen's words set the deal on the dramatic change around in their fortunes. Helen looked the same as she did when she was here last but in so many ways, so different. She wasn't an employee of the Home Office any more. She was just Helen.
"You're right. I like the word 'our.' It sounds so good," Nikki grinned." You show me the way so I can put my bags down somewhere."
As Nikki passed through the flat, she marvelled that her memories started flooding back. Everything was just so real and the colours so intense. At one time, she would have sworn that they were locked up in a trunk in the deepest portion of her mind.
"This was the window I hammered at….. and this was the sofa where we lay together and this is the bedroom where……." Nikki began to say until she saw Helen's eyes focused intensely on her. Nikki dropped her bags on the floor and with it, her long black coat. As the two women moved towards each other into a soft embrace, the words, that was then but this is now, danced around in Nikki's mind.
With slightly shaking fingers, Nikki gently eased the zip down Helen's red leather jacket while Helen's fingers unbuttoned Nikki's shirt. Her heart was pounding as, so effortlessly, she had revisited territory that, last time around, it had taken mountains to move. They slid each others' clothes off in a trail that led to that very same bed.
Nikki eased herself above Helen and ran a line of kisses down Helen's neck and her skin felt alive to the touch of Helen's fingertips along the contours of her back.
Helen was acutely aware of every move Nikki was making, the tenderness with which her tongue and lips caressed her skin. Helen moaned softly as her own passion gradually built up within her and her body started to move as the other woman delicately explored her hardening nipples. The smoothness of Nikki's skin against her was a sensual joy. A feeling of delight soared in Helen as Nikki's lips slid further down her body. She couldn't wait for the climax of her pleasure to come. At last, Nikki reached the source of all her pleasures and her soaring passion was illuminated by incredible feelings of tenderness as Nikki's lovemaking was so gentle and caring. This wasn't the fast and furious lovemaking of before, both of them driven to the desperation of the one and only night together before they must return to Larkhall and their normal guises. This time, both of them instinctively took their time but all restraints and constraints were off. Nikki knew just how she felt and Helen's fingers ruffled the tousled hair of the other woman and stroked her back and shoulders as she was taken all the over the top. God, if it weren't for that night they slept with each other, she would never have known that such pleasure existed. So this was why she fell in love with Nikki way back when, she became capable of thought and had got her breath back.
"I want to make love to you all night long," Helen breathed against the skin of Nikki's neck.
"Just you try and stop me."
There was no awkwardness or hesitation as Helen's body moved on top and Nikki lay on her back ready to receive her lover.
"I'm ever so sorry but I have to go to the toilet." Nikki said in an apologetic tone of voice from out of the dim light many hours later.
"Of course." Helen laughed. As Nikki slipped out, she revealed her shapeliness to Helen as she reclined against the pillow. Everywhere was quiet and calm and Helen felt at peace with herself as time flowed free. It must have been ages since they went to bed but time was at its most irrelevant. A moonbeam slanted in through the bedroom windows as Nikki returned.
"God, you're gorgeous, Nikki."
"You like what you see," Nikki smiled as she slowly paced her way back towards the bed.
"You look like someone out of a movie. I swear to God that I can't keep my hands off you." came Helen's reply, her voice husky with desire. She pulled Nikki close to her and slid on top of her. Helen's hunger for the taste of her was insatiable, more so than she could ever imagine.
It was later as Helen lay sleepily in the depths of her, no their, bed, their passion finally spent. She gently cuddled Nikki next to her.
"You're incredible, Helen."
"So are you."
"I can't believe that we're finally here at last."
"Our lives begin from here, sweetheart. Everything up till now has just been a rehearsal."
Nikki sleepily caressed Helen's shoulder and sleepily kissed her on her cheek. They were both tired out in a blissful way. They settled down next to each other, shuffled the quilt straight and drifted off into the most profound, undisturbed sleep that neither of them had known before for a long while.