A conversation with a friend gave the idea for this. He was telling me about a 'formula' used to calculate the oldest age of a person you can date based on the age you are.. and when Roy tells him this, Ed will do anything to get around the formula ( (your age/2) + 7 )

A note about the timeline: This deviates from the anime, it's not a bad ending, but for the purpose of the story Roy and Ed need to be in the same universe. Ed and Al get themselves back to normal and move to live in Central where Ed continues to work for the military and Al tries to find a job. The homunculi were defeated; however Furher Bradley is still in charge of the country. Roy Mustang has been promoted to General so that Bradley can keep better control over him, and still aims to overthrow the existing order. Ed has developed a crush on his General, and the story begins when Ed decides to ask Roy out.

'I told you Fullmetal, you're too young for me!' Roy Mustang, Flame Alchemist and now General in the Amestris military protested, pushing his chair backwards as he stood, towering behind his desk and over the Fullmetal alchemist, hoping to intimidate him into submission. However this move only proved to infuriate the already irate blonde.

'Don't talk down to me and don't treat me like a child! I'm not! I want this and I want you and I don't give a damn about the age difference!' the blonde fumed, rather loudly. Roy sighed. He bet the whole office, if not the whole building, could hear the blondes ranting. He was going to get it in the neck for this later...

This whole mess had started when Fullmetal had stormed into Roy's office like he owned the place, slammed his hands down onto Roy's desk, and demanded, in true Ed style, that Roy should take him on a date. Roy had been shocked, thinking maybe this was some kind of joke, a dare or something. Yes, kids still played dares didn't they? Of course, Ed had scoffed at that suggestion, then insisted that he was serious, claiming that Roy was all he could think about.

Roy knew how he felt. Sometimes he couldn't get Edward off his mind, and for all the wrong reasons. The brat was loud, annoying, broke his office door on countless occasions, ranted at him, called him a bastard and cost his unit thousands of cens of collateral damage a year. The kid was a headache at the best of times, at worst, a migraine. And now he was demanding a date? Roy would give Edward some credit, he was fast becoming an attractive young man, however, his youth, as usual, put him at a disadvantage here. Roy would lose his job if anyone ever found out, and that was the mildest sentence. If the Furher was in a foul mood, he could lose his head, and knowing the Furher's attitude towards him lately, heads would roll. A polite rejection before Ed fell too deep was the best course of action. Predictably, Edward wasn't having any of it. So Roy changed tactics. He wasn't a General for nothing.

'I can't help but talk down to someone of your size' Roy smirked. He had Ed right where he wanted him now. A good rant would completely distract the blonde from the topic at hand. Roy felt that after this, he could use some normality. A ranting Edward was familiar, he could deal with that. An Edward going through puberty and obviously horny was something he just couldn't deal with, despite remembering clearly the days of his youth, no matter how much he wished he could forget.

His plan backfired. Edward it seemed was having none of the distraction tactic either. This topic was obviously more important.

'That's not the point!' Ed all but whined now. 'Why should it matter how old you are? I can't help being attracted to you...and don't try to tell me you have someone else either, because I know you don't you bastard… and don't call me short!'

Roy groaned and wondered how Edward had managed to cram that much into one sentence, and also how the blonde knew of his single status. Havoc and the others were going to get it in the neck for gossiping about his personal life in the office. The little blonde was beginning to really grate on his nerves now. It was obvious that Fullmetal's attraction to him was anything but mature; after all, boys were attracted to anything at that age, particularly those who were seen as accessible. The biggest regrets of his life happened during his teenage years when a crush on his best friend ended in a broken heart. He ran a stressed gloved hand through his hair as he tried to think of a way to let Edward down gently. A different tactic sprang to mind, one that he hadn't used in years. It had worked on those high school girls who were crushing after him back at East city, and Edward wasn't that much different to a high school girl, with his gorgeous blonde hair and sparkling honest eyes and... Roy shook his head to clear it. He HAD to turn Edward down, there was no way anyone would ever accept the two of them together. It was his responsibility as Edward's commanding officer and the older of the two to end this before it began.

'Flattered as I am, Edward, I'm afraid there are with dating, as with alchemy, certain widely accepted laws, in particular some very clear ones about age. It is not my age being the problem here. It's yours, you are too young' Roy held up his hand to stop the blonde from butting in. Edward was clearly on the verge of another 'I'm not young, I'm very mature and I've seen more horrors than most adults I know' rant. Perhaps approaching this from something Edward understood, formulas and laws, he would get some peace and quiet. 'I'm well aware of your maturity Ed, however, there is a formula regarding acceptable age boundaries: you divide your age by two and then add seven. I'm twenty nine years old. I'm sure a prodigy like you can figure that out.'

Edward had an adorable look of concentration on his face, as he appeared to ponder what Roy was saying. Roy knew Edward was smart. He would figure this out and move on. The last thing Roy wanted was the boy to fall in love with him. It was easier to tell Edward where he stood on the matter now, before he fell too deep, and he ended up breaking the boy's heart. He'd had enough heartbreak in his short life as it is.

'So... what your saying is that according to this… formula, that you probably just made up to get me off your back, I would have to be twenty-one and a half if I wanted to date you, as opposed to the sixteen and a half that I am now...' Ed muttered

'Yes, that's it. I cannot date anyone under 21, after all, that's the rule.' Roy confirmed confidently.

'Is that the only reason you won't date me?' Ed asked, seemingly curious.

'No' Roy lied, not wanting to give the kid a reason to think he had a hope if he was older. If Edward were older, he didn't think he would have a problem with it. He hoped his lie wasn't reflected in his eyes. Edward looked down mournfully. Roy was beginning to regret this whole conversation. Edward looked absolutely crushed. He was probably thinking there was something wrong with him now, and beating himself up about it. The look on Edwards face told Roy that perhaps Edward already had fallen for him. He opened his mouth to try and salvage what was left of their working relationship when Edward gave a winning grin and spoke.

'I get it now, thank you for enlightening me' Edward said politely, and saluted, heading for the door. After all, Edward Elric wasn't a prodigy for nothing. He had seen the look on Roy's face, and knew that he was lying. After all, when you'd been staring at the same person for most of your teenage years, you can't help but notice these things. So, the only thing Roy Mustang had a problem with was his age huh? Well he could always return when he was twenty seven, then Roy could take his damned formula and shove it up his arse.(1)

Roy Mustang watched in shocked silence as the door to his office closed quietly. Edward Elric had just been polite to him! Saluted him! Accepted what he was saying without question and even THANKED him! The world as he knew it was ending. He checked outside his window just to make sure it wasn't. After all, the world couldn't end now. He had goals to achieve first.

Edward Elric was being the perfect subordinate! How wonderful! However Roy's thoughts quickly grew serious. Somewhere in the recesses of his mind, despite his jubilation, was a voice that said this just wasn't right. Edward Elric was never the perfect subordinate. Therefore something must be terribly wrong with the blonde, and Roy had no doubts whatsoever that this had everything to do with him.

A sharp knock on the door brought Roy back to his senses and to the mountain of incomplete paperwork on his desk. If that was Hawkeye, he was dead. Still, perhaps he could use Edwards's interruption as an excuse for his lack of progress.

(1) When Edward is twenty seven, Roy will be forty, and by then according to Roy's own formula Edward will be able to date Roy. 40/2 +7 27

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