Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all related subjects/characters belong to JK Rowling. Of course the song, Tears in the Rain, is by Joe Diffie.
A/N: Trying out another writing style again. Not really sure how this one worked out, but it was fun to do, in any case. Let me know how you like it.
Ginny looked up at the large house in front of her. She had no idea what she was doing here. Scratch that. She knew why she was here. She'd received an owl that morning, asking her to come over. The only thing she couldn't figure out was why Blaise would want her to come over. He was over to talk to Draco often, but they'd never said more that a few polite words to each other before he and Draco retreated to the den to talk business. Before she had a chance to talk, the door swung open and he was inviting her in.
She accepted a cup of tea from him as they stood by the kitchen table. Ginny looked up at Blaise quizzically, wondering in vain what this could be about.
He smiled at her, "I know we've never really talked before, but I figure the two of us have something in common."
"We do? What's that?" Ginny still couldn't think of any reason he had written her.
"Unfaithful spouses. I suppose you didn't know it was Pansy he was doing it with."
Ginny had felt herself freeze at the word unfaithful. Numbly, she dropped her cup of tea and it shattered on the floor.
Blaise looked up in surprise and saw the horror-stricken look on her face, "Oh my god, Ginny. You didn't know, did you? Here, come sit down. I never would have said anything if I knew."
But sitting down was the last thing Ginny planned to do. She nodded to Blaise briskly, not sure whether to thank him or hex him for telling her.
"I have to go."
Ginny had apparated home in a flash, and could feel anger starting to rush through her veins. How dare he do this to her? It had worsened tenfold when she had arrived in the kitchen to see Pansy her. With Draco. Kissing him. They stopped abruptly when they saw that she had unexpectedly arrived, fire burning in her eyes.
"Ginny..." Draco began awkwardly, which almost made her laugh because nothing about him had ever been awkward, "I thought you were out for the afternoon."
Ginny took a few moments to calm herself. She refused to lose her cool in front of Pansy like this.
"I wasn't feeling well. I just thought I'd let you know I'm going to lie down for a bit."
As Ginny turned and left the room, she could hear Pansy's whisper behind her, "And you thought she'd freak out. I can't believe you were so paranoid. She's plenty sensible. She knew this was a marriage of convenience."
Ginny had to choke back tears as she walked calmly to her room. A marriage of convenience. It was true. Yesterday he had told her that he loved her as much as the day they had gotten married. It hadn't been a lie.
Suddenly, painfully, she remembered the first moment she should have suspected that something was horribly wrong. It had been just out of Hogwarts and Ginny was deeply in love. One day, Hermione had rushed in, all out of breath.
"Ginny, I've just seen Draco with –"
"I don't want to hear it, Hermione!"
She never saw her again. Just like that, she had cut Hermione out of her life. She had cut out Harry and Ron and everyone that tried to make her face the truth.
With a deep sigh, she stood up purposefully. She didn't intend to just sit here and stew in self-pity. But she needed to go see someone. Anyone. But who could she talk to about this? Suddenly, the thought occurred to her.
Draco looked up from his paper at Ginny as she walked briskly through the kitchen, "I thought you were ill."
"I'm feeling a bit better, and I promised my mother I'd visit today."
"Will you be back for dinner?"
"No, go ahead without me. I'll probably be late."
That was it then. An unspoken agreement passed never to mention it. But how dare he act all loving and cordial? But she refused to lose her composure and get angry. She'd show him she could be just as heartless as he could.
She went straight to the only place she could think of. Blaise opened the door to see her with tears streaming down her face. Although he barely knew her, he drew her into an embrace.
"I love him." She whispered hoarsely.
"I know."
The mismatched pair stood in the doorway for a long time, each lamenting a reality that they could do nothing about. Ginny knew that she would have to go home eventually. She would have to face the truth. She had no other choice. Ginny had no friends, no family, no other home. She was truly left with nothing.
The next day, she woke up alone. She had refused to sleep in the same bed with Draco last night. Making a difficult decision she grabbed a bag from the closet and began to throw her clothes in it. She had wanted to be strong. She had wanted to pretend that everything was the same. But it could never be the same again. She had to go away somewhere, anywhere. She didn't plan on ever mentioning Pansy, and she did numbly appreciate that he was keeping it all quiet. But she had to leave.
Draco appeared in the doorframe, "What are you doing, Ginny?"
She had no intention to explain herself to him, but there was one thing she had to know.
"Why did you tell me you loved me?"
He sighed, "Ginny, us getting married was the best for everyone. I knew you'd be miserable if you didn't love me."
She looked up at him, "So you lied."
"Yes. But I did it for you."
Her eyes flashed, "Don't you dare take the moral high ground with me."
"We can't get a divorce."
"Excuse me?"
He pointed to the bag on the bed, "You want a divorce, and we can't have one. After Voldemort died, our marriage destroyed the Death Eaters. If we split up, my father will start them up again. The only reason he hasn't is because you're family."
She laughed bitterly, "Family? That must be why you had no problem lying to me and betraying me."
"Ginny, I'm sorry it had to be this way. I do like you."
"Like me? You like me?" Ginny spat out.
"I do. I tried to protect you from the truth, Ginny. Some things are bigger than either of us."
"So...what, we're supposed to be some sort of diplomatic sacrifice? Our lives, my life, mean nothing?"
"I did it to save hundreds of other lives. I didn't want you to have to make that sacrifice."
Ginny took a moment to control her breathing, knowing that blowing up at him wouldn't solve anything. She calmly brushed past him. If they continued to talk, nothing good could possibly come from it.
Ginny had always told herself that she needed no friends. She had the man she loved. Now she had nothing. She had hung around with all the old Slytherin girls. Who else could she spend time with? She was in their circle now. Millicent, Tracey, Daphne. She had thought they were her friends. She had thought Pansy was her friend. But the truth was, they must have always been laughing behind her back. She didn't belong in this house. She didn't belong in this life. She thought this was what she wanted. It had been, before she knew the truth. She'd been wrong.
The truth will set you free. What a lie that was. The truth was a cage that clamped your wings to your side. It ripped your spirit away. It turned you into a pacing, snarling animal. The truth made you vicious, and vindictive, and savage. People search insistently for the truth. They act as if having it is some kind of defendable constitutional right. And for what? To give up any semblance of happiness they have? They willingly throw it away for the truth. It's this honourable ideal. Truth is good and pure and beautiful. Therein is the lie. Truth isn't good. It plows through your life, leaving behind only ruins. It isn't pure or beautiful. Lies are beautiful. They're intricate and weaving. They're spun into a complex web; a master plan. The truth is a cold fact. There is nothing beautiful about it. And it won't improve your life. When you discover a secret, it gives no feeling of relief or closure. It just brings the startling realization that your life is crashing down around you and there's nothing you can do. I would rather have this perfect life. This utopia of love and safety and everything a girl could want. I would rather have this perfect lie. To want the alternative is lunacy. The alternative: a husband who doesn't love you, friends who don't respect you, a house that was never yours. And the knowledge that nothing is fine, nothing has ever been fine, and nothing will ever be fine again. Once those lies are ripped away, they can never be brought back. Once those pillars of strength are removed, your life comes tumbling down. Every memory you have is tainted by your newfound knowledge. And you're left with nothing.
And you smile when your littlest one asks you what's wrong, and you tell her, 'Nothing.' because she is still safe. Her lie hasn't been shattered yet. She still has dreams and hopes and doesn't yet realize that all is futile.
There is no happiness. There is no love. There is only the truth.
After all, the truth will set you free.