Visiting the Graves
Makoto stood in front of two grave markers She looked at the names and felt a knot twist n her stomach. They were her parents' grave markers. She stood there in here senshi fuku, staring at the names, dates, and flowers on the graves. It was so long ago, but it felt like it was just yesterday. The pain was just as intenseas it was when she first lost them. She kneeled down on her knees, and gently stroked the names etched in the stone with her gloved hands. She had wondered for years what hey thought of her. She wondered if they would have been proud of her for all she had done with helping her closest friends save the world, finishing school, and being there for people when they need her. She wondered if they would be disappointed with her because of everyone she couldn't save. She even wondered if they would have been furious with the life choices she had made. "Mama...Papa...I wish I knew what you think of me now...I miss you both more and more every day. I wish I would've begged you both not to get on that plane. Had I known that you were going to be taken from me so suddenly...I would've done everything I could to get you to stay..." she trailed off sadly.
A little voice from behind her spoke up, "Mama?"
Makoto turned to see her youngest daughter standing there, holding her teddy bear she had made for her, "Kanna? Baby why are you up this late? You're supposed to be in bed."
"I couldn't sleep Mama...I was going to get some water and I saw you out here," she said.
"Is your sister still asleep?"
The small brunette nodded, "I didn't want to wake her...why are you out here Mama?"
"I was visiting these graves. They were two people that were very important to me," Makoto said, rubbing her daughter's head gently.
"Who were they?"
"They were your grandparents...my Mama and Papa. They were taken away from me a long time ago..when I was your age. I come to visit them all the time," she said.
"What happened to them Mama?" Kanna asked quietly.
"They were in a plane crash...they didn't feel any pain...it was quick and swift."
"So they didn't suffer?" she asked.
"No baby...they didn't suffer. Do you know why your name is Kanna Ann?" Makoto asked. Seeing her shake her head, she continued, "I named you after my mother. You remind me so much of her. Even though I lost her when I was really little, I remember her clear as day."
"I was named after Grandma Kanna? What was she like Mama?" the little girl asked.
"She was like you...kind, gentle, and very determined. Once she set her mind to something, she did it. She thought with her heart. She could be reckless sometimes, but she meant well," she said.
"Like you Mama? Mommy says you're very reckless at times...but you do it to save the ones you love. Is that why you fight so hard to protect us Mama?" Kanna asked.
"Yes baby...I fight so I can save the family I have. I couldn't save my parents...so I fight with everything I have to keep everyone safe," Makoto said. What the small child said next, nearly brought her to tears.
"Please don't be so reckless...we don't want to lose you Mama," she said, her blue eyes brimming with tears.
Makoto pulled her daughter close and hugged her, "Kanna...I promise not to be so reckless...but there may be a day that I won't be here anymore. If something happened to me, then your mommy and sister would need you. You don't have to be the strong one that locks away her feelings to help others...just be there for emotional support. You would all lean on each other."
"But I wanna be strong like Mama. You're not afraid of anything Mama...that's why I wanna be like you," she said.
The tall brunette smiled, "That's where you're wrong. I've been scared many times."
"You? When?"
"Well...when your sister was born...she was born early. I could hold her in the palm of one of my hands. She was so tiny. We were told she had only 24 hours to live. Her lungs and heart weren't fully developed. Your mommy and I were terrified that we would lose her...but she pulled through and is now a happy-go-lucky seven year old. Then...when you were born...your umbilical cord was wrapped around your neck. When you came out, your face was blue. Once they got it unwrapped and did CPR, you started crying. We were so scared that we lost you," Makoto said, her voice cracking.
"Were there other times Mama?" Kanna asked innocently.
"Yes...before you were born...my worst fear that I had...became a reality. One time...I was pregnant. We never figured out what gender they were...but they would've been your older siblings. I was pregnant with twins. I had been hit during a battle...right in my stomach. The pain was unbearable. I had a miscarriage. We tried to have another child for a year and a half. We tried several times...but every single time, I would miscarry. That was when we found out I could never have kids. Your mommy gave birth to you a year later," she said.
"I'm sorry Mama," she said, hugging her. "Is the pain still there?" she asked.
"It will always be there baby...but I have all of you to keep me grounded...so I know I'll be okay," Makoto said, smiling and rubbing her head.
Kanna hugged her mother once more, "I love you Mama...I always will. You don't have to be scared anymore. I'll be here to protect you...just like you protected us all these years...I promise."
Makoto hugged her back, kissing her forehead, "I love you too baby...and thank you...why don't you go back to bed baby. It's going to be a big day tomorrow."
"Okay Mama...good night," she said, walking back inside.
The tall brunette smiled, "How long have you been standing there?"
Out from behind a tree, stood Ami. "Long enough to hear her ask about your fears. I didn't know if you were going to tell her about the miscarriages or not," she said, helping the tall girl stand.
"She deserved to know. They were her family too," she answered. "What are you doing up?" she asked.
"Well...when I woke up, my wife was not laying beside me. When I walked out here, I found her and our daughter talking. I think, with all Kanna learned tonight, she will be just fine," Ami said. Hearing the tall brunette sigh, she looked at her concerned, "What's wrong?"
"Well...I was just thinking of how she reacted when I told her about when I lost our other children due to miscarriages..." she started.
"She was pretty calm for a five year old...when Katya found out she was devastated...why are you thinking about that?"
"Because I'm wondering how she'll react when I tell her she has a baby brother on the way," Makoto said, holding something in her hand.
Ami looked at her confused at first before she opened her eyes wide, "Y-you...you mean you're..." She looked down at the brunette's stomach, seeing a tiny bump. She placed her hands on her stomach then looked up at her, tears in her eyes, "But...how..."
"I went to the doctor and hand them try again...one more time. They warned me about the possibility of a miscarriage before twenty weeks...I told them I understood. I became pregnant almost immediately. I didn't tell you because I didn't want to disappoint you again."
"You could never disappoint me Mako...how...how far along are you?" she asked. Seeing the tall girl's tearful smile, she asked, "What is it?"
"Twenty-two weeks..."
The blunette's eyes went wide, "That means..."
"We're out of the danger zone...we'll be having a healthy baby boy...doctor said everything was looking normal...we did it," she said, crying.
The blunette hugged her wife and they cried happily. She crouched down and kissed the small bump and whispered an 'I love you' to the growing baby inside.
Makoto smiled and looked at the ultrasound picture in her hand. She kissed it gently, tears running down her face. She pulled Ami up and kissed her, pulling her close. The blunette kissed back and wrapped her arms around her neck. Everything was finally going right for them. They went back inside after a while, both with huge smiles on their faces.