Why This Story Is Necessary: I was elbow-deep in my complete rewrite of TWC3 when I realized that I was in trouble. See, I skip large amounts of time in this trilogy [particularly between books]. And within those skipped time frames, there's a lot of character development that goes on. Because of my plot and the way I wanted to write this story, I didn't have the time to explore several ideas I'd come up with. I couldn't show certain moments of character development, I couldn't develop relationships like I wanted to, etc, because the trilogy's plot was already so defined and left very little time for meandering [which, considering that this is Wonderland and Wonderland is all about meandering, is rather ironic]. So, the idea for this companion story was born.

These one-shots aren't exactly connected to each other in a defined plot. Nor are any of them essential to the plot of the Trilogy Proper; there is no plot information in these one-shots that's utterly necessary to know in order to make the rest of the trilogy make sense. They're really more like missing moments- scenes of character/relationship development that didn't fit in the narrative of the trilogy, but ideas that I didn't want to give up on. So be prepared for these chapters to be on the short side.

Author's Note: This chapter came into existence relatively late in the writing process. It's actually the last of the five Book One chapters to be written. It wasn't until I was editing the tenth chapter of Book One that I realized that I needed to give Alice a place to air her thoughts. And when she did… well, it wasn't what I'd been expecting, let's put it that way. It gave me a lot of angst to work with; man I'm gonna have fun writing that into Book Two. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: The same basic disclaimers apply to this story as apply to the Trilogy Proper. I don't own anything you recognize, and anything that appears plagiarized from Disney, SyFy or other FFN fanfics is completely unintentional and accidental.

Minor note- the idea of the Suits is lifted from the SyFy Alice miniseries. Funny, how the further into writing this trilogy I get, the more the SyFy movie starts to creep in.

Special Thanks: Thanks to my beta, Thirteen Thorns, for looking over this chapter for me! I get so incredibly paranoid about my characters taking a turn for the OOC. Particularly Alice. So thank you for reassuring me!

Once upon a time, a little girl named Alice had expressed her desire for a world of her own.

If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrariwise, what it wouldn't be, it would.

As she lay in her bed in the White Castle of Marmoreal, the Queen who had once been that little girl wondered what on earth she had been thinking.

It had been a week since the battle against Stayne on the Chessboard. One solid week since Alice had been rejected as Champion of Underland, replaced by a young Uplander with a mess of curls and wide green eyes, a girl who only days ago Alice had despised. Just the day before the battle, Alice had been furious with Underland for sending the young upstart here, to take over Alice's role as Champion and companion to the Hatter. She had resented Underland repeating Alice's history with a new savior, and had vowed to take her rightful place back.

She imagined Underland was howling with laughter about now.

For a solid week, Queen Alice had been bedridden in Marmoreal. Alice's sister-queen, Mirana, had been baffled by Alice's condition; true, Alice had hit her head rather hard during the earthquake Underland had caused to signal its rejection of Alice as Its Champion, but she had sustained no other injuries; she should have been up and about days ago. Yet, any time Alice left her bed, she was overcome with dizziness and weariness, and had to crawl right back under the covers to sleep for several hours. Mirana had finally proclaimed that, like her injury, Alice's illness must have been caused by Underland Itself, and the only course of action was to wait it out.

Privately, Alice believed that when she had hit her head, she had knocked loose a torrential downpour of Thoughts and Ideas that she had kept carefully dammed up for years. If that was the case, it stood to reason that she wouldn't recover from this strange, causeless illness until she had put her mind back to rights. Rather a tall order in Underland; after all, they were all Mad here.

Carefully, Alice hitched herself into a seated position, supporting herself with a good number of pillows. She hoped Underland wouldn't mind if she sat up while she Thought; she felt as though this process deserved her full attention, and she really did do her best Thinking while she was seated… preferably with a cup of tea in hand. Now there was an Idea…

Alice reached for the blue silk tasseled cord that hung beside her bed and pulled it twice. A moment later, the door opened to reveal Diaz, one of the Diamond Suits. While the Chess pieces served as soldiers, the Suits acted as the palace servants. A long, long time ago, Alice had once been served by the Clubs. She supposed those days were soon to come again… if she ever recovered from this illness, that was.

"Yes, Your Majesty?" Diaz asked politely.
"I'd like some tea, please," Alice requested. "No food, just the tea, mind. The strongest brew Mirana will let me have."
"Yes, Queen Alice," Diaz nodded, issuing her a shallow bow before slipping out the door.

As she waited for Diaz to return, Alice closed her eyes, resting her chin on her hands as she considered what categories to sort her Thoughts into. Tarrant would have a large pile, obviously, as would Returning to Witzend and her Thoughts About Underland. But the largest pile of Thoughts, she knew, would belong to that ginger-haired Not Truly An Uplander who had consumed Alice's consciousness for the last several days. Or, more appropriately, the last eighteen years.

That the young girl who had been introduced to her as Jane was in truth the long-lost Azure Princess was by now embarrassingly obvious. From the top of her head (the color was purely Tarrant, the messy curls clearly Alice's) to her over-large green eyes (another gift of her father) to the dreamy expression (that had surely come from Alice) to the tips of her little feet (absolutely from Alice), it should have been obvious upon the first glance that here was the daughter of Tarrant and Alice Hightopp.

But if physically she was clearly Tarrant and Alice's child, in personality Alice was a bit baffled by this daughter of hers.

In the long years since Regina's disappearance, Alice had daily been consumed by Thoughts of her missing child. She had long ago Known what her daughter would be like upon her return. Her daughter would be fierce and determined and full of Muchness, carrying her father's Outlander spirit and her mother's sense of independence. She would be strong, a warrior and a Champion born.

She had had such beautiful dreams about the moment when her child was returned to her. They would embrace with laughter and many tears, and they would be a family again. Regina would have missed Alice as much as Alice had missed Regina, and the bond between them would be as strong as it had been in Regina's infancy.

Well, Alice had her daughter back now… But it was nothing like she had thought or planned for.

In the first place, Regina wasn't like Alice had thought she would be. Now, Alice realized that her child had been raised in the Aboveground, and she of all people knew that London was hardly friendly to Muchness. So perhaps it was natural that her daughter's natural Muchness would have been somewhat squashed by London Society, especially since Regina had apparently been raised by that most Muchness-squashing tyrant, Lady Ascot.

However, the Outlandish Champion Alice had been expecting simply did not exist. Regina had proved herself capable with a sword; according to Tarrant's glowing report she had done admirably in her battle against Stayne. But from what little Alice had seen of her child, both through the haze of the Mad Black Queen and now, Regina wasn't a warrior by inclination. She had her father's eccentric view of the world, and her mother's boundless imagination, but she lacked that Champion spark.

Was that such a bad thing, though, Alice asked herself? After all, no one had ever expected that the infant Azure Princess would ever need to be a fighter; Alice had already made Underland safe once. Perhaps it was only to be expected that the child of the Dreaming Queen and the Mad Hatter should be more a dreamer than a fighter… But the Dreamer and the Hatter were also both skilled warriors, deadly in battle. Regina had killed Stayne, yes, but was she a Champion?

Granted, Underland seemed to think she was; It had rejected Alice in favor of Regina on the battlefield, after all. And if Alice were being honest with herself, she probably hadn't seemed like much of a Champion when she first arrived in Underland, either, and she had managed to slay a Jabberwocky. Perhaps she was being too judgemental of her daughter; surely Underland knew what It was doing, if It had chosen her to fight for It.

Regina's dubiousness Championship aside, however, her homecoming was still nothing like Alice had thought it would be. Alice had always thought that when she found her daughter, it wouldn't matter what sorts of tricks Time had pulled; she would simply Know her child. But… she hadn't. She hadn't had the faintest idea that the girl before her was the same infant Alice had once Lost. There had been no instant maternal bond, no indication at all that Alice was beholding her beloved child. As a matter of fact, instead of maternal love and pride, Alice had been filled with mistrust and jealousy upon beholding her successor and replacement. Without even realizing it, she had pushed her daughter away and forever ruined her chance of an instantly happy reunion.

Moreover, Regina appeared to have very little need of Alice. In the week since the battle against Stayne, Regina had visited Alice twice. Both visits had been very brief; Regina had only stayed for long enough to drink a cup of tea and perhaps eat a small scone before leaving again. She had been cordial and accommodating to Alice's illness… and she had been utterly distant and impersonal, as one would be to a stranger.

It was Regina's distance that hurt Alice most of all. Alice was well aware that Regina kept only her mother at arm's length; she was already clearly devoted to Tarrant. She wore her Hightopp Hat wherever she went, and the Suits reported that when the young Princess wasn't in lessons, she was in the workshop with Tarrant. She was even calling him by the extremely affectionate paternal term, da. Alice didn't even merit the formal mathair; Regina didn't call Alice anything at all, not even an English ma'am.

In truth, Alice supposed she deserved it. Perhaps it wasn't her fault that Regina had been spirited away to the Aboveground for safety, but because of that action, Regina had grown up without a mother. And in grey, Muchness-less London, to boot. Alice hadn't been there to tie ribbons in Regina's hair or to tell her bedtime stories; she had been absent when Regina needed to learn manners and she hadn't been there when Regina was presented to the ton. She hadn't been Regina's mother, and so perhaps she didn't deserve to be referred to as such.

But oh, how she wanted to be. That was what hurt above all else, the knowledge that Alice couldn't force Time to turn around. All those precious moments with Regina were lost forever; it was too late to begin again. And Alice and Regina both knew it, and Regina clearly resented Alice for it.

The problem was only compounded by the time that Regina had spent in Underland. Tarrant had been the one who had helped Regina; it had been he who had protected Regina, attempted to bring her to Marmoreal. Alice was well aware that Regina had only agreed to act as the Champion in order to find and rescue Tarrant; apparently, that inclination of Regina's was another gift from Alice. Tarrant had supported and aided Regina in every way he could. What had Alice done? She had raved and placed blame and pushed Regina away, dashing off to prove herself a Champion instead of helping her daughter. Alice hadn't even taught Regina how to weild a sword; she had left Kalen to do her job for her. It was no wonder Regina preferred Tarrant to Alice; he was clearly the better parent.

That had been the case even when Regina was an infant, Alice realized, chagrined. Alice had always been busy, meeting with suppliants or deliberating cases and laws. She had kept herself locked in her office, slaving away as the Queen of Witzend, while Tarrant had been the one taking care of their child. Alice had tried to be there when Regina needed to be fed or rocked to sleep, but Tarrant had had charge of her nearly all the rest of the time.

What a fool Alice had been. She had assumed that she had all the Time in the world; that there would be plenty of opportunities in the future to form a strong bond with her daughter. And now here she was, out of Time. Regina was a grown girl, nearly an adult. She was a Princess now, and a future Queen, and while she held great affection for her da, she clearly didn't need her mother now. Alice had once again lost her daughter, before she had even had the chance to celebrate finding her.

Faced with this knowledge, Alice lowered her head into her hands, and wept.