PROLOGUE
[Lee]
"Lee, Wilf. He's awake." "Wassat?" Wilf says, "He's awake. Todd. He's back." I know she can't hear my noise over comm, but still I send it, I send my genuine happiness over to her, or I try. I say, "that's amazing!" and I mean it. Because I'm happy that she's happy. I guess that's what true love is, isn't it? "Ya," Wilf says. Seemingly in reply to my comment to Viola, but he's looking at me, and I can tell he's likely referring to my noise a second ago. Tears streaming, Viola hangs up.
1 hour earlier
[Todd]
I hear the voice again. But it isn't in my head. This time, it's thru my ears. "Our military man, Davy Prentiss," it says, "Says we shouldn't look for scapegoats for a simple crop failure." I think it's her, is it? Is it you, Viola? Is it? "But that's you waking up again in the next room." And I open my eyes. "How funny that it's…" and the voice stops, because it's Viola.
(It's her)
And I sit up. All she can say is, "You're awake Todd, you're back." Tears are coming from her eyes, and they're coming from mine, and I run over to her and fall into each other. Then I realize. I'm shirtless. My noise goes pink with embarrassment. I back away immediately… "It's okay," she says. I stand back and stare. I'm drawing a blank. Then I realize what this is. It's the Pathway's End; the Spackle healers are surrounding the tent, and the stone tablet I was rested on. Next comes the realization of why I was here. I look down at my bare chest. I feel a small indentation and a scar where the stream of acid hit. Then I remember it all. The war. And I back away a bit more and I curl up, trying to contain it all… I AM THE CIR… But I stop mid thought, cuz he taught it too me, didn't he. It's the thing that made my noise quiet, and Viola hated me for it.
[Viola]
He's on the floor, curled up in a ball, and he's thinking about the Mayor, the war, and… and how I hated him for his noise, when he silenced it.
(Todd, oh, Todd.)
(What have I done?)
I just walk up to him and sit down; because that's all I can do. Haven's being re built around us, literally. The new settlers arrived in late winter, and have been helping us rebuild. 1017's arm got to the point where eventually had to take the cure, so he didn't die. But he held off 'till the last possible second. That was the point when I came my closest to forgiving him for what he's done. Anyway. Bradley's pretty much replaced Mistress Lawson as the head of the planet, really. Wilf and Lee still play a major role. They are off on an exploring expedition, though. Ben still visit's here everyday. Right now, he's gone to lunch. Me, I barley ever eat, and the last time I was outside, the snow was just starting to melt. So I missed my first ever snow fall. My first Christmas on this planet even. Bradley brings me news when there is any.
[Todd]
She just sits there, on the dirt floor, thinking. I don't know about what, but thinking. Then we hear noise outside, not Spackle noise, but someone else… It's quiet, but I can hear it. Viola looks up at the tent entrance. Then Bradley bursts in. First, he looks over at the chair that Viola must have sat in when I woke up, and the stone slab I was lying on. When he doesn't see us, his noise get's worried, but he hears me and immediately looks over to the dark corner we occupy. And he says "Todd," in a way that's perpleksed and happy at the same time. "Viola," he manages, "are you guys okay?" "Yes, he just woke up," Viola sobs. "Okay. I'll let you guys be…" "No, just what is it?" "News from the exploration party." Viola stops tearing and looks up. I don't. "Five dead. Lee and Wilf are okay, barley. They're heading back now." My neck snaps up immediately. "Exploration party?" I'm puzzled. Bradley can see it in my noise. "After the settlers arrived and helped start rebuilding, we sent parties north and south of this forsaken River to the poles of the planet. 's a shame you people never expanded beyond it." He chuckles. "You've missed a lot in 5 months, son." "5 months!"
(Oh, Viola)
(Viola)
Oh, don't deceive me
Oh, never leave me
I left you for a while, Viola. And this is what I get.
Now
[Todd]
Bradley leaves, but not before he manages to ignore a "Wait!" from Viola. I guess he wants to leave us alone. "His noise is a lot quieter," I say. Viola nods. "He's been practicing. I need too comm Lee. Make sure he's okay." Viola wipes the last of the tears from her eyes and walks outside. "Wait a sec, I'll be back." She opens the flap of the tent, and the sun pierces my eyes. But then the flap closes and it's gone. She's gone. But she'll be back.
I ain't never leaving you Todd Hewitt, not even in my head.
She comes back in, the sun falling on my face again. Her face is red and her eyes are watery once again. She just looks at me and says, "Oh, Todd, you've missed a lot." I just fall into her arms, right as Ben rushes in. Todd, oh Todd! He sends it right to my head. Ben! I send back. Cuz I can do that now can't I? I don't think Viola can hear us. She looks confused; and I swear, just for a moment, I can hear it, just a faint hum coming from her direction. I guess Spackle noise is like that. I'm part of the 'Land' now, I think. But being surrounded by that blackness all the time, that nothingness, just an occasional memory or voice, I think I can turn it off, just focus on the normal noise, have to hear less chaos. In his first spoken words to me since I was shot… never mind. Well, Ben just says "With practice, yes." Viola just stands there, clueless. We're hugging by now, me and Ben, but we let go.
All three of us walk outside into the spring –
(Is it spring? Or summer?)
(Shut up)
Whatever.
We step out into the sun. "Summer. Early summer," Viola answers "Hey! Quit reading…" then I realize I don't mind. Anyway, She gives me a shirt. I turn away and put it on. My noise is pink again. I finish up, and look around. I don't even rekognize the place we're in. I think we might be on top of the notched hill, by the old Spackle camp. But it's hard to tell. "I know, the settlers have made a good job of helping us rebuild. They've been here for about four months now, since almost the end of winter." Ben informs me. "What used to be Haven is lake now," he says. "The falls?" I question.
He just sends me a memory back, the one of the falls. He was hopelessly chasing after the mayor and I in the scout ship when the Spackle released the falls. I just look into him and see it, all the pain. And because he was part of the land at the time, I hear all the pain, the weight of the decision that the Spackle had to make, to destroy the peace, and then the death of the soldiers. Just a wall of water rushing by and slamming into them and then reaching the tow, smashing their families. I try to block it off, but I can't, so I let the thought pass.
Ben decides to leave us, and goes off to a thing he's calling a "Surprise." Viola says she knows what it is, but won't tell me. I almost curse he lack of noise, but I guess I just stop, and we get a horse each, and we ride thru town to a little tent by what looks to be the new town square. We tie our new horses up by a trough out in the front. Then I realize. "What happened to…" But I don't finish. "Acorn died of exhaustion, when we were chasing you, Todd. He actually sacrificed himself for you." My noise is blue for a second. I'm remembering more than I want to. "I know, Todd. It's okay." We step inside.
It's quite large, the tent. Three beds, a little cooker in the center, and a cloth divider, to change behind, I suppose. "Ben sleeps here," she says, "He saved the two beds for us. He had every confidence that you'd wake up. And you did." She just runs over and hugs me, and I hug her back. She drops her bag with both her stuff and mine on the ground. We just stand there for a while. I look down at her bag, eventually, and I see my ma's book. The little blood on the cover still dried and dark dark red. "I think it's time you learned to read, Todd." And for the first time, I don't really mind.
[Viola]
I spend the rest of the afternoon trying to teach Todd to read, but I think that having noise would make it easier. I could show him the letters as I said them, but instead, I write the things he doesn't understand on the dirt floor. In spite of it all, Todd is learning surprisingly fast. By the time Ben bursts in at dinnertime, His voice Blasting Surprise and almost finished and So proud of you both, Todd's managed to read me the first few pages of the journal, almost flawlessly.
We sit down by the cooker, and Ben cooks a can of baked beans. We sit down beside each other in out beds. Ben announces that he'll be able to reveal the 'surprise,' actually a house for the three of us down by the new lake, to Todd by next month at the latest. Near Todd's birthday. I'm exited. Todd still doesn't know, obviously.
As things settle down and we all finish eating, I decide to comm Lee again. He answers, Wilf beside him. I flinch, like every time I see him lately. It's just unnerving to see his now bloodstained 'blind-fold' covering where his eyes used to be… I also almost hate that I can't hear his noise over the comm. But only almost. I learned my lesson with Todd. "Hey, Vi," he chirps, "How's it going?" I say. "All's fine, you?" "It's been… better, with Todd back." Lee flinches away from the screen at this. "I'll be back tomorrow," he butts in, breaking an awkward silence. "I know." "if you need anything, just call me," he says. "I know, Lee. Thanks for that. Bye." "Bye, Hily," Wilf squeezes in. Then, they hang up.
Todd's looking at me, all funny. His noise says Lee and Viola. Vi? What's Vi? Does she… and not me? Viola? "It's okay, Todd. Nothing's going on between us. We've just gotten closer, with you in a comma. He'd visit me in the tent sometimes. That's all." "Not that I'd mind if something was happening. I understand," he says, but I can already tell that he's questioning the honesty in that. We just sit down and go to bed.
I wake up in the morning to a harsh but familiar Hummmmmmmm in the fields behind me. It's the scout ship. They're back. Lee and Wilf and the rest of the exploration party.
They're back.
[Lee]
I use the crowd's noise to see. I've been practicing. It's like watching my life in third person. People have gathered around the scout ship. But I 'see' Viola, Ben, and Todd coming out of their tent near the landing zone. I run over. I Hug viola first, and she half-heartedly hugs me back. Then I go over and shake hands with Todd and Ben. I can tell that Todd is kind of mad or maybe jealous. But anyway… after I say hello to everyone, Viola comes up with a surprise. She says, "While you were gone, the settlers managed to build a surgery, and Dr. Gordon, one of the best caretaker doctors, is working on synthetic body parts for people who lost them in the war." "That's great," I say, though I don't know why she sounds so exited. But then, "And eyes, Lee, he's trying to build synthetic eyes for you." She chokes this up, tears sort of coming from her eyes. I'm seeing this through Todd and I can also see he's looking at Viola, thinking how beautiful she is. And as much as I like Todd as a person, I don't like this. They just seem to be ignoring my noise for now. That annoys me. "Gordon should have the results in the morning, weather the eyes'l work or not." People seem to be ignoring my noise lately, like I'm just a little kid. It's annoying. I can't stand it much longer. "Sorry, Lee," Viola says. At least a response. Oh, well.
I'm beginning to feel like Viola and Todd hate me for liking her. I'm not (or at least try not to be) aggressive about it, so I don't see why they're so hostile. Maybe I'm just paranoid. I've never liked someone like I like Viola before. Sure, I've had my petty little crushes. But never like this. They were never really love. This is, though, right? Is it? Again. I wouldn't know. I'm kind of new to this. No one ever liked me back.
[Viola]
He thinks I hate him. But I don't. He's just a boy with a crush. We can still be together, I just don't love him. I hope he understands that, but I can't tell him. He just has to know.