Chapter 1:

Woot! First story in forever! Can't guarantee I'll update on a regular schedule, but I'll try my best.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, The Gamer, or anything else mentioned in this fic but my self-insert since she is based on me. If I did own these things, well I'd probably still be writing fanfiction about it if only to screw with people's heads on what is true cannon, but I'd be doing it in much nicer house.

"regular speech"

'thought'

Heavenly being talking for this chapter

[Game Data]

Death is not a dead end but a door way, a new beginning.

-Unknown

'Huh…so this is what death is like…this is horribly disappointing…just like my death. I mean, I knew I would probably never go out in a blaze of glory, but choking on a peanut? Damn that's sad…Soooo…am I going to heaven? Hell? Purgatory? Helheim? I think I'd like Helheim. Or maybe the atheists were right and religion is a bunch of bullshit and I'll just rot in my coffin.' I think as I float towards the light shining brightly. 'But wouldn't I have just ceased to exist if that were the case, and not be thinking about anything right now? Or is this like Torchwood where—'

CONGRATULATIONS! You are the lucky random dead soul to win our *Reincarnation to a world of media* ticket! A sudden booming voice sounds from the light.

"Holy shit, what the hell was that?! Wait, did they say reincarnation? That's real? Is this some kind of joke? Like, the dead version of Punk'd?" I say out loud as the light suddenly shines blindingly bright, before dimming down to reveal a room similar to a cross between "The Price is Right" and a casino. "Sweet mother of chocolate! Death is like Vegas! Booyah! Bring on the roulette, momma's ready to play!"

And here's how it works; you spin the Wheel of Worlds to select your new home world. The voice says, ignoring what I said as a huge 7-slot carnival-style wheel appears in a puff of smoke, each of the slots showing a different world including: Doctor Who, Torchwood, Bleach, Naruto, Teen Titans, Young Justice, and One Piece.

"… well at least I know all of them." I pause to think. 'But… Dr Who and Torchwood have Weeping Angels; Bleach involves dying again, I think; Teen Titans is a tower full of teenagers, and doesn't THAT just sound like fun…and Young Justice has Gotham's crazies. One Piece might be nice.'

"C'mon, Momma wants to go to Naruto." I say as I spin the wheel. "C'mon c'mon c'mon." I chant as the wheel spins, until it stops at Naruto.

"Booyah! No Arkham crazies for me." I cheer as the wheel poofs away and a holographic window appear with a list of different perks.

[Select your perks.]

Available Perks. Please note that you can't select contradicting perks or all of the elements. (You're no Avatar.)

Current Perk Points/PP: 40/40

#1: Queen of the Seas: All Suiton/Water Release Jutsu need 10% less chakra for each PP. 0/5

#2: Queen of the Flames: All Katon/Fire Release Jutsu need 10% less chakra for each PP. 0/5

#3: Queen of the Skies: All Futon/Wind Release Jutsu need 10% less chakra for each PP. 0/5

#4: Queen of the Earth: All Doton/Earth Release Jutsu need 10% less chakra for each PP. 0/5

#5: Queen of Thunder: All Raiton/Lightning Release Jutsu need 10% less chakra for each PP. 0/5

#6: Creative Thinker: For each PP it is easier to come up with new jutsu/variations. 0/15

#7: Inner Self: You are more resistant to mental attacks, and possess a great inner strength. They are your constant companion, and get stronger/more self-aware for every PP. 0/15

#8: Massive Chakra Reserves: You have exceptionally large chakra reserves. 0/15

"Ooo, elements…Ok, so I think I'll get that…definitely max out that. And finally…hmm, 6 or 7…enie meanie minie MOE." I say as I max out #'s 1, 4, 7, and 8.

[PERK LEVELS]

Queen of the Seas: 5/5 Trophy + Bonus Skill achieved: Bedwetter!

Bonus Skill Hydrokinesis/Psychic Waterbending: You can control the water, Suiton/Water Release Jutsus are easy for you.

Queen of the Earth PP 5/5. Bonus Skill+ Trophy Achieved: Rock Lobster!

Bonus Skill Geokinesis: is unavailable due to already selecting Hydrokinesis

Negatives: You take 15% more damage from Raiton/Lightning Release Jutsu's.

Bonus Skill Plant Manipulation: By having maxed out both Queen of Seas and Queen of Earth, you gain the power of Plant Manipulation. Similar to Mokuten, all plants bend to your will. Grow them, reshape them, use them for defense, or pit them against you enemies.

Negatives: It takes a great deal of concentration to manipulate multiple at once, and you can feel the plant's pain.

Inner Self: 15/15 Trophy Achieved: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

Massive Chakra Reserves: 15/15 Trophy Achieved: It's Over 9000!

Negatives: Poor chakra control. Your clones suck.

"Okay, first off, 'over 9000'? Seriously? So overused. Second, YES! I CAN CONTROL PLANTS! I AM THE POISON IVY OF NARUTO! I CAN TOTALLY KICK MOKUTON'S ASS…eventually…THANK YOU, Kami, Satan, Lady Hel, or whoever is out there!" I shout to the skies—err darkness above. 'Plus the Hydrokinesis is pretty badass too' I add as an afterthought.

Prepare to be transported to your new body. Location: Konohagakure no sato, the Village Hidden in Leaves. The mysterious booming voice speaks as a bright light covers me before everything turns dark.

Konoha Hospital...

'Whoa, head rush. Okay, so where am I?' I wonder as I slowly force my eyes open, showing that I'm in a hospital room, being held by a man in surgical clothes.

"Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Kimura. It's a girl." the doctor said as he hands me to a fair-skinned woman with green eyes and dark brown wavy hair. A man looked over her shoulder, brushing his short black hair out of his brown eyes. While the woman was pale, the man had tanned skin.

'Yes, no clan! I don't think I could deal with being massacred or segregated by branches. Wait a minute, my hair is normally horrendously curly and poofy. Both my new "parents" have straight hair. Could it be? Please tell me I have straight hair. Please please please…' I think as the woman looks at me with motherly love, not noticing my inner pleading.

"Hello Rena-chan, I'm your mommy, and this is your daddy." She baby talks to me.

'Rena-chan? I have a new name—hold up, what is she doing?' I ask myself as 'mommy' unbuttons her hospital gown, revealing her breasts.

"Time to eat Rena-chan." she says as she pulls me closer.

'…uhhhh…say what now?'

So that's the first chapter. What do you think? Review and let me know!

-First Name: Rena means "reborn" in Japanese

-Family Name: Kimura means "tree village" in Japanese.