The white door of her hospital room creaked open to reveal a largely unfamiliar face. The visitor looked to be in his mid-twenties and had dark hair which sat rebelliously disheveled on his head, falling down over his forehead and stopping just above the thin, wire rimmed glasses which framed his face. Anxious chestnut eyes looked through the lenses, glancing over her body before meeting hers; clearly looking for something though she didn't know exactly what.
She had only seen this man once before that she could recall, though she found that she could remember very little at the moment. The doctors told her that she had been in a car accident and as a result she had lost the majority of her memory. They thought that seeing a large amount of people, all of whom would remember a past which she had forgotten, might be too overwhelming, so they limited her list of guests to just a few. So, since waking up the day before she had only met with one person, that person being the one who was currently looking at her like he didn't know which version of himself to show.
The visitor leant his back against the doorframe, with the door only half open, as if he thought fully entering the room might frighten her. She tried to smile encouragingly at him but she could see the sadness in his eyes as he watched her, as if her unfamiliarity with his presence was written across her face.
She absently ran a hand over her forehead as if the writing could be rubbed off.
"You can come in" She said trying for a light tone, "I don't bite"
He laughed quietly, though it sounded a little forced. He visually swallowed, pushed himself from the doorframe, closing it behind him and made his way to the seat next to her bed. He ran a hand through his hair nervously and a small tickle of familiarity flickered somewhere behind her eyes, but as she tried to focus on it the memory dissolved. She sighed noiselessly, trying not to show her frustration.
After sitting for half a minute he must have finally caught his nerve because he finally spoke.
"How... how are you?"
Her heart ached in sympathy for him. "The same as yesterday, I'm afraid" she replied, maintaining her friendly tone, "Short on some memories but otherwise intact."
"That's... good" He said.
Since waking up to no memories yesterday, a few small pieces had returned. She knew her name was Lilly and that she had a sister, though until she asked a nearby nurse she had forgotten that her sister was called Petunia. She vaguely remembered the sound of playing the piano and the restless feeling in her fingers whenever she was craving to play it, but little else anyone had told her had caused any other memories to resurface. But by the sound of everything she had been told the man in front of her, who had introduced himself as James Potter, had been important to her. The lack of any serious emotion for him felt strange in her mind somehow, as if she knew there should be something there.
There were small instinctual feelings she had started to get, as if part of her mind remembered but not the rest. She'd learnt to pay attention to them when she spoke to him, because she usually led her down the right path. At that moment she felt that he was the sort of person who needed to speak away his anxiousness, so following her gut, she broke the silence with a question.
"You said we were close, right?" she asked.
He breathed a broken chuckle. "You could say that."
"Then, why don't you tell me how we met, what's our story?"
Despite everything, a nervous but genuine smile grew on his face at the idea, "Okay, it's a bit of a long story"
"I've got all the time in the world" she promised.
He rearranged himself in his seat so that he was sitting more comfortably, leaning onto the back of the chair and placing his hands on his lap as if telling stories was familiar to him. As he considered what to say a small smile graced his face and Lilly couldn't help thinking it was rather attractive.
He coughed briefly, clearing his throat before he spoke.
"Well, the first time I saw you we were both teenagers, not even that I think, we'd just started high school. At that time you were friends with this boy Snape..." James laughed with genuine amusement, "I hated him, the git. But I was friends with these three other boys; we're still close now actually."
James was clearly becoming more comfortable. He spoke with a certain manor which Lilly found a little recognisable, she grinned expectantly as he continued speaking.
"At the start of school I don't think you liked me very much, I might have come across a little strong or something, but you only started really talking to me when we were head Boy and Girl in year eleven. You were always so organised, sorting most of the jobs out before I would turn up so that you didn't have to be with me for very long. But despite your efforts, this was when we started talking more. I remember this one time when you were particularly stressed with work and responsibilities and I did some planning for our prom or something on my own so you didn't have to, and when I told you I'd done it you had the most beautiful smile on your face."
James chuckled at the memory, "Of course, you slapped me when I told you as much, but I like to think you were flattered, I'm sure you blushed a little. But anyway, by the time we were in sixth form you mostly tolerated me, you'd started getting on with my friends as well and you'd had this huge falling out with Snape so you stopped hanging out with him and started spending time with us at last. It was great, our friends and I would play pranks on Snape, and now that you too weren't on speaking terms with him, you stopped protesting to it as much. One time you actually joined in, and let me tell you, you were the most fantastic at pranking. I mean, we were good, but with you as well we put together the most fantastic ones.
But after sixth form you went on a gap year, I hardly heard from you at all, you went with a charity and was teaching these children English in Bangladesh, very honourable and everything but I missed you like crazy. Thinking back, it's possible my friends got a little annoyed with how much I mentioned you, but I was in love, I couldn't help it.
I didn't have a gap year though, I went straight to university. Remus went to Cambridge, the smart-ass, and Sirius didn't go to university at all no matter what anyone said, so I didn't see any of you guys nearly as much as I wish I could have. The next time I saw you was when I started my second year of uni, it must have been fate or something, because you came to the same uni I was in, despite the fact you were smart enough to go to Cambridge like Remus.
I took business and economics 'cos I planned on continuing the business my father was running at the time, but you took linguistics. In the later years of uni you would tell me about what you were learning, you were always so enthusiastic about it all whenever you spoke to me about it, taking about syntax and some dude called Chomsky, I never really understood any of it of course but you just looked so passionate that I loved it when you would tell me.
But anyway, both our departments were close together, linguistics was only a five minute walk from my class so back in your first year I often saw you on your way. Each morning you would cycle past on this particular bike you owned, your bright hair flowing down your back, you really were the most beautiful girl I had ever seen."
Lilly smiled as his enthusiasm shone from his person, his affection for her clear in his voice.
"You always left your class really quickly so each time I would try to wait for you to finish, you would always been gone by the time I got there, it drove me crazy! So this one time, I cycled to your building and chained my bike to yours then walked to my class, because they were on at the same time. I was a little late but it was so worth it. When the lecture had finished you were standing by the two bikes with your arms crossed, I think you could tell it was me before I even got there" He laughed loudly, "You had this terrifying glare, it usually would have sent me running but it had been so long since I saw you that I really didn't mind. And I don't think you meant the anger half as much as you used to, so I wasn't so bad. But yeah, soon after that you agreed to get coffee with me, and everything started from there."
He looked so happy reminiscing on their past that Lily felt a sadness in her chest at not being able to do the same.
"How long ago was that?"
He seemed surprised that she asked. "Do you not remember how old you are?"
She grimaced.
"Well, at the moment we're both 24, you turn 25 in January. So back then we were both 19 –"
They were interrupted by a knock on the door. They both turned to look and were met with a male face which grinned at them comfortably. He walked into the room with a laid back stride, his hands resting in the pockets of his jeans. Lilly assumed he was around the same age as her and James, but he seemed to live with a certain exuberance and youth which she and James didn't have, despite the situation they were in. He walked into the room as if it were a normal day and sat down on the side of her bed with a little hop and patted her knee over the sheet with a large grin on his face.
"How are you doing, kitten?"
His happy demeanour was so contagious that Lilly found herself smiling along with him. She didn't recognise him, but there was something so familiar with the way he addressed her that she began feeling more at home with everyone in the room.
Just before she had a chance to reply a second face popped round the door. His expression was more nervous, wearing a small smile and a hesitance in his eyes. He had sandy brown hair and a thin frame; he leant against the doorframe in a similar way to how James did when he first arrived.
The one difference being, she recognised him.
She must have shown the revelation in her face because he looked confused.
She grinned at him, "You're Remus, right?"
His eyes instantly lit up and he walked into the room more comfortably, coming to a stop on the other side of the bed to James. "Yeah" He said, "that's me".
Lilly closed her eyes as she concentrated, a few small memories coming back.
A 15 year old Remus sat opposite her wearing the white shirt of their school uniform. They were both in a library sitting around a circular table with tall bookshelves surrounding them. Remus was looking at the textbook which lay in front of him with interest. He had a pad of paper beside it and was glancing between both as he noted down comments on what he read.
She was in a similar position, except her pen was still as she read the same passage over and over, unable to truly make sense of what she was reading. She couldn't seem to keep her concentration.
Remus must have noticed her difficulty because he spoke up.
"You okay, Lily?" he asked without stopping his work.
When she didn't answer he looked up, his pen stilled mid word. She must have had a funny expression on her face because his worried expression cracked into a grin.
"He really has got under your skin hasn't he" He laughed.
She bristled. "What, potter? No way, I'm just bored of studying, I really don't like..." She had to check which subject she had been trying to study, and he heart sank as she realised what it was, "...English..."
He just smiled like he knew something she didn't. "Sure he hasn't."
Neither said anything for a few seconds and Lily thought he was going to drop it, but as he began writing again he mumbled one last thing.
"I'm not even going to mention the fact that you knew who I was talking about without me having to tell you..."
She looked between the three men who were watching her, trying to trigger any more memories she might have hiding somewhere.
She looked back at Remus, "We used to study together didn't we?"
His smile beamed, "Yeah, in the library at school" He chuckled and indicated his two friends, "this lot never put in any effort; it used to drive us crazy –"
Sirius looked as if he were going to object by James beat him to it.
"Seriously?"
"What?" Remus said, confused. "You didn–"
"No, I mean, she remembers studying for school with you but doesn't even recognise me, I'm only her bloody husband!"
Sirius smirked, "Can't have been a very good one".
James just glared at him.
"Anyway" Remus said with a chuckle, "What else have you remembered? Has James told you anything?"
"Well, I haven't remembered much at all, but James was telling me about how we met in school."
Sirius laughed, "Did he mention how much you hated him?"
"I think hate is a little strong-" James interjected.
"No" Sirius grinned, "Hate is exactly what it was"
He turned to Lilly, "How did he describe your interactions in school? I've got a feeling he may have been a little bit biased."
Lilly thought back, "I think his exact words were that he 'Came across a little strong'"
Remus and Sirius burst out laughing, so strongly in fact that their shoulders shook and their eyes crinkled at the sides. They both looked over at James who had begun to look a little sheepish.
"That's one way to say it" Remus said once he had composed himself enough to speak. " You see, he had taken quite a liking to you at the grand age of eleven and being the optimistic romantic that he is he never tired of trying to show you how much. To us" he said indicating to Sirius who was only just regaining his breath, 'it was hilarious, but he always embarrassed you. So that, and how horrible he was to Snape, is why you hated him. It took you years to even consider talking to him, let alone dating him."
"I can remember the first time he saw you" Sirius said, sharing a look with Remus, their eyes glinting as they tried to stop themselves from laughing before they could tell the story. "Us three had just become friends, and we were walking up the hill to the school when you got off your bus"
Sirius stopped there but Remus continued speaking as if they both new exactly how the story ought to be told, "James here was in the middle of speaking about some nonsense or other, but when he saw you his face went completely still, he nearly tripped over his own feet stopping as fast as he did"
"We couldn't get his attention at all, he was just staring at you as you walked, but after about ten seconds he suddenly moved, looking like a bloody deer prancing across the road over to you" Sirius started laughing as he remembered letting Remus continue for him.
"He stopped right in front of you and did the most ridiculous bow I have ever seen, he looked like a right idiot, you were a little terrified of the whole situation, I think. But he spoke with a really posh accent, and said..." Remus began laughing again, so he put a hand in the air asking her to wait a minute for him to continue.
She looked over at James as she waited, he seemed to be trying to force a glare but a small smile betrayed the expression.
Lilly couldn't help the wide smile she wore as they all laughed. In all the confusion of the last few days she hadn't had a moment when her heart had felt this light and it was the most fantastic feeling.
Sirius, still grinning madly, got up from his seat on her bed and stood in an empty spot in the room seemingly getting ready to demonstrate. He held one arm over his stomach and held the other out to his side, and leaned forward as if trying to touch the floor with his face. His arm was sticking up into the air in such a way that it looked a little bit distorted and he began speaking through his left continuing chuckles.
"Most beautiful maiden" He announced and Remus broke out in a new wave of laughter, leaning on the back of a chair that was next to him, " Let me walk with you into school, for I may never again see anyone so wondrous" Sirius chocked on the last word as the laugh he'd been holding in escaped his throat.
Remus was crying with laughter by this point, and despite James's valiant attempt at anger he was beginning to chuckle along too.
"You were so embarrassed by this point that you ran away!" Sirius all but barked out. "Then in the common room later, when you walked in-" He couldn't talk through this newest burst of laughter, so Remus took over.
"In his haste to get to you, Prongs actually tripped over one of the sofas! It was one of the funniest things I've ever seen!"
James was beginning to look a little irritated as the laughter continued. Lilly smiled kindly at him, though she was unable to fully restrain her amusement which bubbled up at the stories. Remus and Sirius showed no intention of quieting down any time soon, so despite Lilly's attempt at encouragement, James called out over their laughter.
"Alright, that's enough! I'm glad my misfortunes are so funny to you" He said with blatant sarcasm.
"Sorry mate", Sirius chuckled, not looking even remotely apologetic.
Remus, however, managed to sober himself, "Sorry prongs, you continue with your entirely accurate rendition of history".
Sirius smirked.
"I will" James said defiantly, purposely ignoring Remus's mockery. "So, after our... rocky beginnings..." the other boys sniggered, "and after our time at university we finally got married, this was only 2 years ago actually. I had proposed during your last year of university and we got married in the autumn, October 16th. That irritating git" he said pointing at Sirius with a disgusted expression, "was my best man".
Sirius, who by this point had sat back down by Lilly's legs, grinned unapologetically.
"He did a bloody awful job at it too, lost most of my stuff", he smirked, ignoring Sirius's objections. "After that we moved into this little flat in the centre of town together. It was so tiny, but we didn't need anything fancy because you were doing your PhD, and I was working in a lab in town, so we worked with what we had. You had this huge piano though, you insisted that we kept it with us because you played it a lot to unwind when you were stressed, fantastic you were at it too."
Lilly noticed Remus and Sirius nodding in agreement at that and she felt a warm blush colour her cheeks at the praise. It must have shown because James smiled at her, his eyes crinkling slightly in amusement but showing such love that her blush grew even more pronounced.
"But the thing is" he continued, "The piano was so big compared to our house that it took up most of the living room. If we wanted to sit we'd stay in our bed room and sit on the bed because there was no room for any seats in the lounge."
Remus chuckled, "It's true, all of us would sit in the bedroom and talk whenever we came round."
James continued, "We didn't live there for long, but we loved it so much, it was the first place we lived together and it represented so much to us..."
He trailed off and the room was quite for a second until Sirius broke it.
"That was bloody beautiful, Prongs."
James glared at him. Lilly guessed that that might be a pattern in their interactions.
"Anyway, "he said to Lilly, "We would often go out to this park just west of where we lived, because there was this one tree which was absolutely perfect for climbing."
"Wait" Sirius interrupted, dragging out the word as he turned on the bed to face James more directly, "What's this?"
Lilly looked at James in bemusement and he looked a little guilty.
"It was mine and Lil's spot, Pads-"
"Seriously, you found a great climbing tree and you didn't tell me?" Sirius turned away from James and faced the other way, evidently refusing to say anything more on the topic.
James smirked at Lilly and was about to continue but he stopped at the expression on her face.
"You okay?" He asked and all three boys faced her in concern.
It was not uneasiness that caused her change in mood, but a flash of memory which had caught her attention. As James had mentioned their tree, a spark of familiarity had been unfolding in Lilly's mind and she eagerly chased it.
She steadied her footing on the branch before reaching up to another and pulling herself higher. The leaves around her fluttered slightly in the breeze and glowed in the golden light of the setting sun.
Looking down from her spot in the branches she could see James following her up, making quick work of the tangling leaves and mossy bark which covered the tree.
"Come on" She called out to him, "It's beautiful up here!"
She could hear his chuckle, "Don't wait up, I'm right behind you!"
She carried on with renewed vigour and after only half a minute more climbing she noticed a thick branch which grew horizontally out to her right and she headed towards it, being careful to keep her balance. She sat down on it, holding onto a parallel branch to keep herself steady and looked out over the town which spread out in front of her; the sun warming the concrete buildings of her city.
The image in her mind twisted into another.
She was sitting on the floor against a wall in a small flat, looking up at James who was sitting on a stool in front of a large piano. He had his eyes closed and was singing obnoxiously loudly as he played only one key at a time with his right index finger.
As she remembered that other memories began to flash through her mind, ones of joy, sadness and hilarity. She saw faces that she was beginning to recognise; voices that pulled stings in her heart and places which were familiar to her faded life. It was coming quite suddenly and she had almost forgotten the boys were speaking to her.
Pulling herself out of her thoughts, she made sure to focus on their faces so they knew she was alright.
"You doing okay, kitten?" Sirius repeated.
"Yeah, I'm okay" she said smiling, "I'm just starting to remember".
I hope you enjoyed that!
It was based on 'Do You Remember' by Jack Johnson, let me know what you think!
