"You're sure about this, Manuela?" Liberty asked in a serious tone, fixing the last stitches on the end of Manny's wedding dress.

They stood in Emma's kitchen with Manny on a small stool for Liberty to do the last touches on her dress before the wedding tomorrow.

"You're still young." Liberty reminded in a sing song like taunting tone. Did she like Jay now that he was with Manny? Sure, I guess. He changed a bit, but who wouldn't after a whole shooting gone done back when they went to Degrassi? Liberty wasn't sure if it was that, or Manny who had really changed him. But yes, simple answer, yes she liked Jay now. He wasn't the bad boy he use to be anymore. Actually, he was a really successful mechanic.

Manny rolled her pretty eyes, bashing her eyelashes, "I am more than sure.. me and Jay have have had a fake engagement for almost two years now and a real one for 6 months. It's meant to be!" she beamed, dimples digging into her cheek, teeth shining, eyes twinkling. She had DREAMED of this since a little girl.

She had wanted this VERY dress for her wedding.

"Are you sure you're not more excited about the wedding planning then actually getting married?" Muttered Emma, staring down at the cupcake infront of her and sitting on her kitchen table. She remembered Manny use to obsess over that movie with J Lo when they were younger, The Wedding Planner.

Manny giggled, shrugging her shoulder, "Okay, maybe that too just a little bit." she squished her fingers together.

Liberty laughed too but Emma shook her head, leaning back in her chair. This was nonsense. Absolutely nonsense. Emma could feel it in her bones that Jay wasn't the one for Manny. They were just content on another. There was nothing passionate, or romantic between them, just good vibes. Did that make any sense?

"I don't want you to regret anything it all." Liberty said.

Manny finally let their bummer attitudes get to her and groaned, "I'm sure alright?" she pointed to Emma, "Em got engaged too, Lib!"

"Not..something..we should talk about.." Liberty drifted awkwardly, to see Emma's eyes look up like a deer in the headlights.

"It's fine, I'm over it." Emma bared an uneasy smile. Had Sean given her a ring before going to war just after highschool almost 3 years ago? Yes. Was it some childish promise from a highschool sweetheart that he'd come back to her after living out his life and going to experience something more exciting than their relationship together ever was? For sure. No doubt. Just silly empty promises..

And that's why Emma threw the ring out when Sean had called her about a year after that to tell her he'd met someone in the military.

Emma moved on ofcourse, she had to, and she knew Sean was just the highschool heartthrob.. now he was just..nobody to her. Sure she'd say hi when if he ever crossed her way, but she knew now he was only toxic for her. He never really got her, or understood her. That wasn't really a bad thing, but she had met someone who had understood her and her weird ways. One guy who made her lose control for once, and enjoy it. But- No, we won't get into that. We were planning a wedding.

Anybody after Sean? Sure. There was Kelly in college.. then she hooked up with Spinner in Niagara Falls.. that was awkward. But they came back and it was like, whatever happened in Niagara falls stayed in Niagara. Spin had gotten back together with Jane and whenever Emma was around, he went red.

The front door opened and a voice ran through the house, "We got the cake!" came Snake's voice.

Manny's eyes widened, we?! She knew Jay was with Snake today trying to get things done and felt like he needed help since Manny was going to be busy and not be able to do most the work like she had mostly done to this point.

"DON'T COME IN!" yelled Manny, opening the fridge and hiding behind it.

Emma blinked, seeing Snake stop before he walked into the kitchen from the living room and Jay behind him, wondering what was up? He gave a weird look only seeing Emma and Liberty, but no Manny..but heard her voice.

"Jay if you come in here, I'll kill you! It's bad luck!" Manny madly noted, stomping her foot.

Snake whistled, him being let off the hook and allowed in and came inside the kitchen, putting the big white cake on the table and the back door opened with Spike and Manny's mom.

"I'm so happy you guys have been helping so much." gushed Manny's mother to Spike to then scream, seeing Manny hiding behind the fridge door and Jay around the corner, in the entrance of the kitchen, "GET OUT!" she yelled at him.

Jay lifted his hands like he was being aimed with a gun by a cop and cursed, "Well, Jesus Christ! What am I allowed to do?" he bitters

Emma half way grinned, watching him getting rattled up a lot through this wedding planning and the bride-zilla and brides mother. She, as maid of honor, has also been through hell and back.

"Jay." Spike said with more a softer tone than Mrs Santos and his shoulders dropped and he relaxed, and listened to her, she always had good advice..

Emma scowled.. how come Spike came to Manny's rescue? She wasn't her mother.

"Why don't you.." Spike looked around, wondering what else needed to be done and gasped, "Ah." she pointed to Emma, "Why don't you guys go pick up the bridemaids dresses? I'm sure they're ready by now." she looked back to Jay and to Emma again, wondering if that'd be okay.

Jay connected eyes with Emma, almost studying her, and giving her the cue to answer if she wanted to or not. Emma sucked in a breath, glanced to Manny who pouted, and begged her silently to go with her hands clapped together in a begging praying way.

"Fiiine." Emma sang, getting up.

"Make sure the tailor made my dress longer." Liberty said in annoyance. They went FIVE times to that shop and they kept screwing the dress order up.

Emma stopped by Jay and nodded, "Sure."

"Emma!" Manny called, "Make sure you try yours on too again.. I'd die for your legs, but the dress was too short the last time.. don't want the church audience thinking I'm whoring out my bridemaids." she giggled.

Emma went red, embarressed, and stormed off first as quick as she could out the door. Jay couldn't help it, it was Manny's fault since she brought it up, he gazed at Emma's long tanned legs as he followed her out and the corner up his mouth tilted upwards.

They were pretty killer.

Jay shut the door behind them, grabbing his keys out and went down the steps side by side with her, taking in a deep breath of air. When he exhaled he glanced to Emma, walking to his car in the driveway, "I see your as stressed out as me." joked Jay with a chuckle.

Emma shared a look with him and shrugged, stopping at the passanger door as he stopped beside her to unlock it with his keys. He still had his old orange civic yet not a clicker to unlock his doors automatically. Classic Jay.

Emma watched him slowly unlock, and got nervous, and kept looking down at her shoes. Could he stop staring at her? She was more than stressed! Okay? Annoyed? Yeah. Furious? Getting closer.. Jealous? Ding ding ding, jackpot!

Jay had been her 'one' that she was talking about earlier. The one guy who understood her and liked her even with her wierd ways and controlling habits. He'd tease her about them, but he liked it. He also said how she had virtue, probably because he, being the known screw up and bad boy he was, never been that pure of a guy ever. Emma gave him a taste of innocence and redemption, and it was addicting. He gave her a taste of freedom and life as well. She thought that was pretty started as enemies, grew up together, lusted after another, then matured. Then, they were friends. Then, she fell accidentally in love. Or maybe she was always in love but now as an adult, could finally admit it?

And Manny knew that Jay and Emma had a past, yet still went for him! Even after a time Emma remembered very well where Manny said Jay was slime, and wasn't good enough for Emma when she found out him and Emma were hooking up. It may of not been a fairy tale romance... but he was still the only guy who made her see things differently. She use to be really naive before him. And he use to be REALLY, really bad, before her.

Emma scoffed,thinking about it. Manny had been stealing things from her since kids. She loved her dearly, but why did she have to go for Jay? That was the final straw for Emma.

It wasn't fair, and Emma felt herself slowly dying on the inside. She tried to ignore the feeling, but watching Manny and Jay pick out a cake together made her want to puke. She even laid in bed all day the next day, trying to think of ways to get over him. He probably had NO clue that she felt this way for him. All he knew? They had just grown into great friends.

So that was it. Manny had Jay, the guy Emma always wanted.. the guy who had too much wit Manny couldn't really appreciate, or understand. The guy who had his own dark secrets deep inside him like Emma did. The guy who shared some kind of silent understanding about it all with her. . was marrying Manny.

"Emma." Jay snapped her out of it.

She went red and he opened his mouth, squinting his eyes at her but nothing came out. He swore she looked upset for a minute there.

Emma rolled her eyes, opening his car door, "I'm just tired is all." she sighed.

She didn't want to get so depressed, she knew her and depression didn't add up well together but this was like.. the realization she'd never have Jay again. It broke her heart. She had wasted so many years thinking her and Sean were the puzzel piece but it always felt wrong. When Jay was around, it felt right. In fact, she came to conclusion that Sean would always run away weather by breaking up with her, or going to Wasage, or the army. But Jay? Jay always stuck around.

Jay, for a second, didn't believe her excuse..but then reminded himself Emma had been doing a lot of the work for Manny so nodded and went to the other side of his civic, getting in himself.

They sat in the car and Emma snuck a glance at him. He hadn't even lost his hat from in highschool, still wearing it on his head, backwards. He did have a short boxed beard but he had finally shaved it off today back into the stubble beard she adored. He was a little taller and leaner.

Emma's eyes widened. What if Jay moved to Hollywood with Manny? Manny had gotten her actress career.. ofcourse she did, everything worked out for Manny Santos. Always.

While Manny had been living in another city most of the relationship and engagement, Jay would come over to Emma's a lot, talk about wedding things while Emma's parents were there but then they'd just..hang out after, alone.. watch movies.. cook dinner..and by cook she meant she did since Jay couldn't cook anything besides meat. He insisted he could 'turn her'. Then when she cooked, she tricked him a lot when she made vegan 'meat' and made him eat it, and enjoy it.. then admit he liked it when he found out it wasn't 'real meat'. They also had got obsessed with Netflix together, but when Manny would visit, she wouldn't watch it with them.. she hated just sitting around she said. She liked to go out! Do things. Party- UGH ! WHY! WHY was he MARRYING HER?!

Jay was driving towards the bridal shop and Emma's stomach literally turned just thinking about them.

"Pull over." Emma begged quickly in a tiny voice, her face cringing as he glanced over to see why and then quickly pulled to the side of the road, and she opened the door, getting out and he saw her bend over.

He turned off the car and instantly took his seat belt off, getting out. They stopped on a somewhat busy road for a small town like theirs. A few cars already passed by as he walked around the car to her, worriedly.

Emma spat the last of her vomit.. ew gross, lets call it 'love vomit', Nope, that's still gross.

Jay's fingers suddenly scooped up the hair in her face into his hand and as she tried to catch her breath, he held her hair back, bending down beside her, his hand on the small of her back.

As he watched her, she tried not to look at him and turned her head slightly the other way, staring at the ground. Did he really love Manny too? He had to..if he was marrying her right?

When she felt it was all done and over, she slowly stood up as did he, holding the back of her hand to her mouth. It was mostly water that she drank earlier, but still, it didn't feel good coming back out. He put a hand on her arm til she stood straight and then he let go slowly, and she looked up at him slowly, seeing an unreadable look on his face as his eyes locked on hers with those pierced grey pupils.

Nobody had eyes like him.

Emma swallowed and bit her lip for a split second, "Ok. I'm good." she whispered.

He nodded, eyes still on her so concern like, it almost hurt.

He opened the door for her, waiting patiently as she got back in, and shut it behind her. Before he entered back into the car on his side, he rubbed the back of his neck and cursed.

...he couldn't get over Emma either.

Emma was the only girl to ever accept the flaws he came with. Alex always bickered at him to change, Mel dumped him for how he was, but Emma just went with it and let him be himself. It was just too bad they started to explore the weird chemistry in their relationship too early, too immaturely. It was ruined before it began, and it was his fault. Jay was clearly falling for her, but never knew he could really have those sort of feelings. He didn't think he could fall for someone like her, his rival, no matter how attractive she was to him.. that was his deep dark secret. Then, suddenly, she was the prettiest girl he knew, and it was a pretty fucked up time, and he basically used her for oral sex, thinking he just wanted her body but they could talk at the ravine for HOURS.. Then, more fucked up things happened, and he rightfully lost her. She deserved better anyways. She went back to his best friend, the 'love of her life', and not someone Jay really thought was the one for her but everyone thought different. Who was he to say who she should be with anyways?

Either way, what chance did he have? She was the girl he wanted, but wasn't meant for him. So then Manny came into the picture, she was hot, cool, down to earth and Emma's best friend. She was loyal, much like Jay was to his friends, and they were both 'experienced' people. Manny was good in bed, and he thought that's what made him think Manny was the one... but lust died out quickly and even if he cared about her, he knew it was Emma he was still unhealthily in love with. She always had his attention, he always watched her from a far.

Emma noticed he took a minute to come back into the car, and she turned to head to finally watch him come back in the car and she looked down. The next girls hair he pushed back when she got sick, would be Manny's, for the rest of his life.

...

((*))

"Ah, my special customa's. Spike told me you were coming." an older, Asian woman smiled, standing behind a counter at the dress shop.

They finally arrived and Jay coughed lightly, "We just need the dresses for the Santos/Hogart wedding." he seemed to cough again and Emma eyed him weirdly.

"ah yes!" the women disappeared for a second.

"You're not gonna vomit all over Manny's dresses, are you? She'd kill you" came Jay's taunting words, a smirk playing on his lips as he gazed down at Emma.

Tempting.

Emma shook her head smiling and replied, "I'm fine now." she blushed, "Shut up."

He lifted his hands in surrender, smirk turning to a grin. The woman came back and looked annoyed, "Dis is number 3 dress." she confirms.

Emma nodded, Liberty's, "It's longer?" she asked.

The woman nodded, "Oh but took days!" she cried out, annoyed and threw her hands up like a wild woman in rage. Liberty could be pretty picky.

Emma looked to Jay, sharing a look and bit her lower lip to stop the smile creeping out.

"She was such a picky girl, I'm glad your the one picking it up!" she put it in Emma's hands and then the other two bridemaids dresses; hers and Darcys.

"Ok." sighed Emma, wanting this done with, "Let's go." she told Jay.

"Now wait just a minute." Jay wagged his finger pointingly, "Don't you have to try it on?" his voice sounded so taunting. He knew she didn't want to.

Emma scowled, "It's fine." she swore.

He winced playfully, "This is my wedding too, I gotta see if it's too short on you or not." he sized her up and down. Smoldered her, in other words. Emma lost her breath. Damn him.

"Fine." she snapped, throwing the other two dresses at him.

He laughed, and walked over to the chair in front of the change room Emma went inside of to go change in

It was a pink creme colored dress, stopped right before the knees, and was strapless,a little jeweled around the waist below the chest and when Emma came back out, Jay straightened up in his chair and shifted a bit until he pulled himself up at the edge of his seat.

He swallowed hard.

Emma was looking down at her shoes, too distracted to see his reaction, her hair falling around her shoulders as she leaned on the door frame of her change room and tied her left high heel.

"It's good." he cleared his throat.

She looked up,"Are you getting a cold?" she bluntly had to ask, noticing him coughing a lot today and he seemed off.

He seemed to stare again but directly into her eyes before giving her a bitter look, "No." he shrugged his shoulder and looked away.

Emma gave him a look back, she was just asking! It wasn't a rude question or anything!

"it.." he found his words again, looking back at her, "It looks good." was all he could say, and got up, turning away from her.

Emma stared sadly at his back and she then nodded, going back to the change room to change back in her jeans and tank top.

They walked out of the store with the dresses in Emma's hands again and Jay jingled his keys, walking to the orange civic.

"Manny called while you were..changing." Jay said, coughing slightly again and she looked over at him, for him to just look down at his keys.

Emma rolled her eyes, see? it wasn't CRAZY of her to think he was getting sick? He was acting all wierd.

"What'd she say?" Emma asked.

"They are headed to the hotel." Jay explained, "Everybody's uh..checked in for the night."

Emma oh'd and he scratched the back of his head, squinting his eyes a bit, his pouty like full lips shaping an 'oh' and then- nope, he was speechless, but he clearly wanted to say something.

"What is it, Jay?!" she finally snapped.

"She told me to um, to tell you Sean's here.. with his new fiance." Jay eyed her closely as they walked up to his car.

Emma took a deep breath, stopping at the side of it. You know what? She was fine with it. Completely.

"Okay." she accepted it though Jay gave her a look like he didn't believe her.

"Do you.." he watched some cars pass by, focusing on them hard, "do you have a wedding date?" he felt the bottom of his stomach drop and wanted to curse. How was it his right to get jealous when he was marrying Manny tomorrow?

Emma snickered, shaking her head, "Noo, and I don't need one to show him I'm over him." Emma meant it, she was okay with Sean with another girl..one he would marry soon.

She wasn't okay with Jay doing it though. Her secret soulmate.

"Good." he sternly said, walking to his side like that's all he needed to hear.

Emma gave a straight look, not knowing what that meant but scoffed and got in. He'd be the death of her. He smirked at her annoyed look and started the car, driving to the hotel.

((*))

When they walked through the sliding automatic doors of the fancy hotel The Hilton, they saw both Hogart and Santos family and friends chatting among themselves in the lobby...suddenly everything felt so real. Both Jay and Emma stopped, looking a bit wide eyed at the scene.

Oh fuck. Jay thought. I'm getting married.

Emma took a deep breath and prepared herself, picking her foot up to walk-

"Run." Jay said, grabbing her arm tightly and started dragging her down a hall. Emma yelped a bit and held onto his arm for balance as he basically dragged her out of there. She couldn't even keep up with his walking pace.. which said something! Since she had longer legs, she was sure.

((*))

They ended up on the other side of the Hotel, at the bar room and at the bars counter, Jay taking shot after shot til his fourth one.

"Disgusting." Emma noted, wrinkling her nose but watched him with amusement. He snickered and pushed his finger into one of the filled shots, pushing it towards her.

Emma raised an eyebrow but what the hell! She took it. It was going to be a hard night and even worse tomorrow.

"I don't do this you know?" Jay asked, glaring at his empty shots and turned his head to Emma, pointing out of the bars door, "I don't get together with my family, I don't shriek in delight that Im getting married." he said it almost in disgust.

Emma raised her eyebrows, she then shook her head with a sad smile and sighed, "Not a lot of guys are." she admits. He just must be having cold feet.

Jay narrowed his eyes at her while raising his finger to the bartender for some beers and snickered, "Sean was all up in lala land when he proposed to you."

Emma instantly replied, "that proposal was full of crap." she numbly twirled a coin in her hand.

He raised his eyebrows at her this time, impressed and snickered in humor this time, "True." he eyed Emma closely and shook his head, "He's an idiot."

Emma just nodded and grabbed one of the beers the bartender laid down in front of Jay and that Jay was going to grab.

He chuckled, watching her open it and gave him a look like she deserved this one.

She laid it back on the table, swallowing hard with a gross cringe. He looked down, grinning, and glanced back up at her. She 'yyughed' since that stuff was nasty. She then got back to the point, "If you wanna avoid all the embarrassing moments and talks about 'how'd you meet' 'howd you propose'.. stay away from Manny's aunts and Grandma." she told Jay, helping him out.

He nodded thankfully and cheered beers with her and she giggled slightly, taking a sip.

"We've been together a long time." Jay suddenly spoke high pitch like he was mocking Manny, then went to his normal voice, "Yes we have.".

Emma tilted her head, wondering what the hell he was doing.

He mocked Manny again, "Too long for anyone to buy our fake engagement..." he snickered, shaking his head as he remembered what he said back to Manny that day, that changed everything. "What? You want it to be real?" he made a high pitch voice again, slightly slurring, "Yes, Jay, I'll marry you!" and with that, he grabbed the beer out of Emma's hand and chugged it back.

Emmas mouth hung. THAT was IT?!

He nodded and explained, "That's how I proposed." he revealed.

He sighed at her frozen stunned look and they stared at another for a moment, and she got lost in his eyes and went to open her mouth-

"There he is!" came a voice, splitting them apart. Emma turned and saw the one and only Sean Cameron standing behind them, putting his arms out and a ginger girl beside him. She looked sweet, red lipstick, petite, dressed in a summer dress.

Emma caught Jay glance at her once more before he got up and manly hugged Sean. Emma smiled a little towards the girl who seemed shy but waved sweetly back a little at her, her diamond engagement ring flashing.

The guys tore apart and Sean turned to Emma and he coughed, "Hey Em." he greeted, looking her over.. She looked good. As always. He was a bit taller, his short hair from the army now grown back and a bit longer like before. More cleaned up, wearing nice black pants and buttoned up baby blue sleeve shirt.

Emma just tightened that smile on her face and spread it a bit more as best she could.

"Hey."

"We're about to finish up." Jay seemed to cut in, sitting back down beside her and keeping his eyes hard on Sean, "We'll be in the lobby in a minute." he assured.

Emma saw that look Sean gave, looking between her and Jay strangely and she wanted to punch him. So judgmental for a guy who did so many shady things himself, besides..this was nothing but friends drinking.

Emma stared off as Sean nodded and left and she let everything hit her. She had wasted SO much time on that guy, she didn't see what was right in front of her.

Jay noticed her zoned out and accused her, "See?" he snapped at her, "You aren't over him!"

Emma's mouth fell, looking at him and her mouth dropped, not even knowing what to SAY to THAT. Where did that even come from?

"What makes you even think th-"

"pathetic." he growled, cutting her off and turned back to the bar, grabbing another shot and shooting it down.

Emmas stared in disbelief at him and then in anger. Jay did what he did best, crawl under her skin. "Don't spend all night at the bar before your wedding day." she sneered and stormed off.

He turned his head, shocked and a bit stung. He hadn't meant- he. . "Fuck." he sneered at himself. He was such an idiot. His eyes saddened watching Emma storm out. All he wanted was to spend more time with her alone.

((*))

Emma held her tears in as she charged to her room and slammed the door shut behind her, finally letting them stream down her cheeks.

"UUUUGHH!"

She curled into her pillows as she angrily flew onto her hotel bed. She sobbed, and wished she could stop feeling what she did for Jay. He could hurt her so easily, and this was one of the most painful things she ever had to go through. Jay was marrying her best friend.

She wished she could go home, but she couldn't, not only was she a bridesmaid, she was the maid of honor. Emma couldn't even avoid Jay for just tonight, since the last dinner before the wedding was in just two hours and everyone was going. It was at the hotel restaurant.

She sat up, trying to wipe her tears. She didn't know why she was still holding on to her love for Jay, she was basically holding on to sweet nothings. Thats what hurt the most. He could just simple glance her way, and her heart would start pounding.

She was hopeless.

/It isn't easy for me to let it go
Cause I've swallowed every single word
And every whisper, every sigh
Eats away this heart of mine
And there is a hollow in me now

So I put my faith in something unknown
I'm living on such sweet nothing
But I'm tired of hope with nothing to hold
I'm living on such sweet nothing

And it's hard to learn
And it's hard to love
When you're giving me such sweet nothing
Sweet nothing, sweet nothing
You're giving me such sweet nothing/

{Sweet Nothing- florence and the machine}.