I did this quickly because the idea has been in my head all week. I hope you enjoy
Vaati and Link stood ready to battle. Vaati was ready for the foolish child in green this time. This time, it would be Link who died. That is what Vaati thought. Link, however, was visualizing himself doing everything to avoid being killed. He saw himself winning the fight and taking Zelda home. Just as they were about to charge for each other, a dark being burst into the room yelling at the top of his lungs. The Wind Mage and the Hero looked at the boy in black.
"!!!" He babbled. Vaati and Link looked at each other.
"Do you know what he's saying?" Link asked. Vaati shrugged.
"Not a clue."
Dark Link tried to calm himself down by taking deep breaths, but that only made him more jumpy. He was shaking right down to his toes. Link took hold of his shoulders.
"Calm down, man!"
"Calm down? Calm down? Calm! Calm! CALM!!" Dark Link repeated over and over twitching with each repetition. Link backed away.
"Call the men in white." Link whispered to Vaati. Dark grabbed Link.
"I'M NOT CRAZY!!!! I 'm…confused…"
Vaati took a step towards him.
"What happened that's got you in such a…frazzle?" He asked. Dark dropped Link.
"This thing, man, this thing opened up and it was all like whoozu whoozu whoozu and I was like, 'whoa, what the hell is that?' and then this thing and I ran…"
Vaati and Link exchanged confused glances. They looked back at Dark with skeptical looks. Vaati looked back to Link.
"I think I'll send out that call…" He whispered. Dark stomped his feet wildly.
"I'M NOT CRAZY!" He yelled. Vaati and Link didn't look too convinced though. It was hard to convince someone you weren't crazy when you were twitching and shaking with each word. Babbling didn't help too much either. So, Dark Link grabbed the arms of both Vaati and Link and dragged them into a portal that took them to the Shadow World. Vaati whistled.
"So this is the Shadow World I've heard so much about."
Link looked at the absolute darkness. The black sky and black trees, it was as if everything was one, big shadow. Of course, Link would never say that out loud in Dark Link's world lest he be killed. That wouldn't be too good, now would it? He sighed and followed Dark who took off. Vaati ran behind him. Link could hardly keep up. In a way it pissed him off. They're so fast…stupid super shadow power and evil magic, he thought.
Finally, he caught up to Dark Link and Vaati. He inhaled big and sighed out. Vaati looked towards him.
"Tired?"
"Of course not! What would give you that idea?" Link continued to breath in and out. He put his hand on a tree to help him catch his breath. Dark Link wouldn't keep still. He was all over the place like he was looking for something. He turned around angrily when he heard Vaati say,
"You live outdoors? No wonder you come to my castle so much."
"I don't need a nice house to live in! I have a freaking island with a drooping black tree. So shut it." He said. He bent down to continue his search. Vaati leaned against a tree.
"I feel pretty bad for Dark Link, actually." Vaati sighed. Link looked at Vaati.
"I didn't know villains (like you) felt bad for anyone." Link said. Vaati glared at him.
"FOUND IT!" Dark Link yelled. Vaati and Link walked over to him. Dark Link was holding some kind of square box in his hand. Link raised a brow.
"What is it?"
"I don't know! I'm asking you guys!" Dark said baring his teeth. Vaati stared at it. He didn't even know what it was. He had to know. Soon, they would expect him, the all-knowing Wind Mage, to be able to answer them. He looked at them. They were staring wide eyed at him.
"What is it?" They asked in perfect unison. Vaati just stared at it. He was sweating, but it was hard to tell. They kept staring waiting for an answer. Vaati slumped.
"I have no idea…"
Link and Dark Link fell to the ground exaggeratingly. Vaati turned around and crossed his arms.
"Oh grow up!" He said, embarrassed with his lack of knowledge. Dark Link looked at it.
"Well…we have to try it." Link said low. Dark looked at him.
"Let's go back to Vaati's!" He said smiling brightly.
"Why my place?!" an enraged Vaati asked. Dark Link and Link smiled at him.
"It's lunch time!" They said pointing to a sun dial that surprisingly worked in the Shadow World.
"I should have known…" Vaati sighed.
Back At the Sky Palace, the three went into Vaati's room to figure out the mysterious, black bow that had appeared in the Shadow World. Vaati was observing it as Dark Link and Link ate some bisque his minion brought for them. Vaati looked back to them.
"And why am I doing all the work?" He asked slightly irritated but curious all the same.
"You're smarter than us, remember?" Link took a bite out of the bisque.
"Yeah, we would just get in the way." Dark Link chuckled. Vaati turned back to the box and mocked them silently. He also cursed them, but what does that matter?
After minutes of fidgeting and a short nap on both Link's part, the box's finally lit up. Vaati stared at it. Dark Link yawned and looked at the screen. He jolted Link awake and they all crowded by the box.
"What's it doing?" Link asked. He was still half asleep. Both Vaati and Dark Link shrugged. The screen was loading. That's what the screen said. It made a sound that startled all three when it was done loading. A screen with a picture of the Gerudo Desert opened up. All three were even more wide eyed than earlier.
"WOW." They all were amazed.
"Try something." Dark nudged Vaati.
"Like what?"
Dark Link pointed to a blue 'e' on the screen.
"Go to that." He said. Link titled his head.
"What on earth is the…in-ter-net?"
They all shrugged. Vaati used a round clicker to go to the 'e'. He clicked on it. A screen opened up.
"Oh wow." Vaati said. Once again, Dark pointed to the screen.
"Click on that!" He said.
"YouTube? What the Heck?" Link asked. Vaati sighed and clicked on it. A new screen appeared. Link tapped his chin and took control. He took the clicker away from Vaati and typed in 'Vaati'. Vaati gave him a look. Over a thousand videos popped up for the notorious Wind Mage. Vaati looked at the screen.
"Well, well, looks as if I'm a popular person." He smiled. Dark Link rolled his eyes. They stopped on one video that got his attention. His eyes shined.
"That one!" He said. Link looked at it and chuckled. He clicked on the video Vaati wants some chicken. As they watched, Dark Link and Link cracked up with laughter while Vaati's visible eye twitched uncontrollably. He clicked off of the screen.
"I DO NOT DO THAT!! WHEN I FIND THE ONE WHO DID THIS, I'LL KILL THEM!!!"
Link was still laughing. Dark wiped a tear away from his eye.
"You want some chicken?" He asked before laughing again. Vaati put his fist up to punch him, but he had an idea. He took the mouse back and clicked on a site called deviantart. Vaati typed in Dark Link. Instantly, a thousand pictures came up. Vaati covered his mouth. Dark, still laughing, glanced at the screen. He stopped laughing and stared in shock. Link took a deep breath to stop laughing. He chuckled until he looked at the screen. He and Dark Link sat in bitter shock at what they saw. Vaati let out a loud laugh.
"Who knew you two had that kind of relationship!!!" He laughed and fell out of his chair. On the screen, the majority of pictures were of Link and Dark Link kissing, touching, or…other. Dark Link's anger flared.
"WHO DO PEOPLE THINK I AM??? I DON'T EVEN LIK LINK!!! I WANT HIM DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!" He yelled.
"You going to kill him with tongue?" Vaati sniggered. Dark Link gave him a look. Link was in absolute shock. If this was anime, he'd be all white with blue depression lines. Dark Link sat in the corner of the room twirling his finger on the lush carpet. Vaati shook his head with a smile on his face. That was too funny. Next, he clicked on a site called newgrounds where he found a video called Brawl Taunts. He looked at it and suppressed a smile.
"Dark, here's something about Link." He said. Dark Link was back at the table in no time. Link snapped out of his shock and looked at the screen. Vaati replayed the video. It was a theory of why Link never talked. Link's eye twitched again.
"I can talk! I wasn't kicked in the balls! I-I-I don't like this evil box!!!!" He said putting his head on the desk. Dark Link chuckled.
"It was just a theory."
Link looked at Dark with an absolute evil look in his eye.
"Listen to me. I can talk. I am able to speak." He said. Dark scooted away from him. Vaati was still looking around.
"Huh, this fanfiction is sort of…um, I don't know the word."
"What?"
"This girl…how does she know about me?" He asked. His face started losing its color. Dark Link looked at it.
"OMG, she knows more about you than I do!" He said. Vaati's face was completely colorless.
"She's…stalking…me…" he said in a barely audible voice.
The trio searched the internet for awhile more until they were so utterly disgusted, they all curled up in the feedle position on the floor. They were scarred for life, especially Dark Link. Everyone thought he was some homosexual basket case. The giant Gerudo came through the door.
"Hey! Have you guys seen my thing? I, uh, dropped it into the Shadow World, but I couldn't find it." He said. He looked around at Link. Dark Link, and Vaati all curled up on the floor. Ganon looked at them and caught sight of his thing.
"Oooooooh. You guys got on the net didn't you?"
They all nodded. Ganon laughed. He remembered how scarred he's been when he first saw everything.
"Yeah, you lil' dudes will be okay in a week…or three." Ganon walked around them and grabbed his thing. Vaati looked up at him.
"What is that thing anyway?"
"It's called a computer, dude! You should get one." Ganon then left without another word. Dark Link crawled under Vaati's bed.
"I'm going to bed." He said. Vaati's eye twitched as he crawled into his bed.
"Yeah, me too." He said. Link pulled the futon from under the bed and curled up on it.
"So will I." He said.
"I just want to forget about today." They all said.
And that, children, is why no fictional character can discover the internet.
YouTube- Vaati wants some chinken
Deviantart- Just look up Dark Link
Newgrounds- Brawl Taunts