For Quidditch. I had to break up BlaiseParvati with the prompts of "Being undead isn't being alive" – E.E. Cummings, counting backwards, and breathless.

Notes: Again, this is a Voldemort wins!AU.

For Paula because she loves this type of AU, and she kind of put this idea in my head. I love you, dear. It's been far too long since we actually talked, but I hope you enjoy this!

"I hate you," Parvati spits distastefully.

Her dark eyes blaze with anger and her body is tense, but he doesn't move an inch. He leans up against the wall, his arms folded across his chest, watching her with a stony expression. His calmness infuriates her more.

She crosses the room quickly, standing in front of him. "Bring her back! Bring her back right now, Blaise."

"You know I can't do that. Orders are orders, and Padma is with Pansy," he replies. His voice holds no emotion, and Parvati wonders how heartless he must be.

"Take me to see her."

For half a second there is a flicker of emotion in his eyes, but it's gone before she can identify it. "I can't do that either. The Dark Lord doesn't want any contact between the group that fought against him," he informs her.

She steps back as if she's been slapped. She opens and closes her mouth a few times before she manages to ask, "So you're saying that I'll never see her again?"

The look he gives her is enough to confirm her worst nightmare. She collapses to the floor, tears burning her eyes, counting backwards to ensure that she wouldn't cry. She wonders how the world succumbed to this.

"Where do you think you're going?"

Parvati freezes in the doorway of her prison. She turns around slowly, breathlessly, and is greeted by the site of Blaise leaning against the doorway to the living room. He's wearing his usual stony expression. His body language makes it difficult to tell if he's angry.

"I was just…"

"Trying to leave," he finishes for her. He sighs and rubs his eyes before looking at her. "But I can't let you go, Parvati. I've given you all the freedom I can afford to give you, out of good faith. I'm not trying to make this an unpleasant experience, but I can if you force me to."

She laughs, humorlessly. "Your lot has taken everything from me – my friends, my parents, my sister. It couldn't get any worse than that."

He crosses the room and takes ahold of her upper arm, tightly. He leans downs and whispers, "It can get much worse. Trust me." His voice drops several octaves, and it's harsher than she's ever heard it.

It's enough to send shivers down her spine.

She's sitting on her bed when Blaise comes through the door. He's holding his wand in his hand and Parvati knows that he's going out. He summons an iron chain and locks it into place around the bed frame.

"You don't have to do this," she pleads with him.

He holds out his hand, waiting for her to offer up her wrist. "I have to do this," he says. He waits patiently for her to raise her arm, but eventually, realizing he isn't changing his mind, she holds it up. "I'll be back after a while."

He locks the cuff around her wrist and secures it. He doesn't spare her a look as he leaves the room.

"When will this be over?" she asks one night. She's sitting at the table, picking at the food that the House Elves made.

Blaise doesn't look up from his dinner. "Probably never," he says. "But you are alive and that's all that really matters."

She throws her head back, laughing. "Not being dead and being alive are two different things. This isn't living."

"But it isn't dying, either."

And for once, Parvati doesn't have anything to say. She just waits for Blaise to finish eating so that she can lay down on her bed and dream of a different reality.

She's sitting in the library with Blaise. He's buried in a large book while she's looking out the window at the house across the street. "Why?" she questions. She turns around to look at Blaise, who is wearing a confused expression.

"Why what?"

"Why aren't you locking me in a dungeon for the rest of my life?" she expands.

He closes his book and moves to the seat beside her, gazing out at the street in front of him. "I didn't fight in the war. I had no allegiance. But what you have to understand is that I'm a Slytherin, through and through; I will do anything to protect my own self-interests. And I knew I would have to side with the Dark Lord or be killed."

She tilts her head. "So you don't want this?"

"This is just survival. That's why I'm not trying to make this harder on you," he says. Before she can say anything else, he stands. "Dinner will be in half an hour," he informs her, and disappears.

She's left staring at him; a newfound sense of respect for him buries itself in her chest. Maybe he isn't a heartless bastard after all.

Her bedroom door opens and Blaise is standing there. He doesn't move further than her doorway. "I'm going out. I'm not going to chain you to the bed this time. Think of it as a sign of good faith."

Parvati nods her head. She knows that while she won't be chained, he'll still have some spells to keep her locked inside the house. But it's a sign that he is starting to trust her. "When will you be back?"

"After dinner, but the House Elves will still make you something to eat at the usual time," he replies. When he leaves, he shuts the door behind him.

She can hear him making his way to the front door. And she wonders why he is going out.

"Will you find out anything about Padma for me?" she asks timidly. She hasn't brought her sister up in over a year for fear of angering him, but she's just so worried about her sister. There's a feeling in her stomach that tells her something is wrong.

He looks at her, and she is surprised to see that there isn't any anger in his eyes. "I can try," he whispers. "But I can't promise anything, Parvati."

She throws her arms around Blaise's neck and hugs him tightly. "Thank you!" she cries happily.

He pushes her gently away from him. "I'll be back soon. Ask the House Elves to make you something to eat when you get hungry."

She nods. When he leaves, she's wearing a smile for the first time.

.

By the time he returns, Parvati has succumbed to pacing the length of the living room. She had already straightened her room twice and put the books back in their proper place in the library. But the entire time, she couldn't keep her mind off the fact that she might be getting news about Padma today.

He meets her questioning stare. "I'm told that she is alive. Pansy wouldn't give me any other information, saying that Padma was her pet, not mine."

Parvati sits on the couch, relief flooding her body. "Thank Merlin she's okay."

He sits her down in the living room and takes the seat opposite of her. "I'm going to take the wards down that keep you here, as long as you swear that you won't leave."

"You know that I'm not going anywhere. I'm not trying to get you killed," she replies softly.

He nods. "I know that. But I still need to hear you swear it."

She closes her eyes. "I swear," she whispers. "I'm not going to leave."

She feels him press a kiss to her forehead and murmur, "Thank you." He's gone before she opens her eyes.

The front door flies open with a loud bang. In the doorway stands a boy with dirty blond hair and grime covering his face. There's a hatred that is etched into his features. "Parvati!" he calls out.

And it's then that Parvati recognizes the voice. "Ernie?" she questions, coming out from the living room where she was hiding behind the couch. When the boy nods, Parvati throws her arms around him. It has been too long since she had any contact with anyone beside Blaise.

She quickly lets go of Ernie and turns around. Blaise is standing in the living room, looking at her. Ernie aims a wand at him. Parvati's eyes widen as she see this. She places a hand on Ernie's arm, forcing it down. "Don't, Ernie. He isn't the enemy."

Ernie keeps the wand level and sneaks a glance at Parvati. "Are you out of your mind? He's the one who has been holding you hostage for the past…Merlin knows how long. And you're defending him?"

Before she can reply to Ernie, Blaise says, "Parvati, come here."

She lets go of Ernie's arm and crosses the room. She stands in front of Blaise, her eyes clouded with confusion. "What is going on, Blaise?"

"Your chance at freedom," he replies. He nods toward Ernie, "A resistance has been forming for weeks now. It was just a matter of time before it acted."

She narrows her eyes at him. "You knew! That's why you took down the wards."

He nods slowly. "Yes." He takes her hands in his, and she feels the coolness of the wand, his wand. "I want you to go. Have your freedom."

"No," she gasps. "It will get you killed!"

For the first time since she met him, he smiles. "That is why I want you to Obliviate me," he whispers. "He can't hurt me if I don't know what happened." She starts to protest, but he cuts her off. "The Dark Lord is a master at Occulemcy. If I try to hide something like this from him, I will surely die. But if you wipe my memories, I have a chance at living."

She holds the wand in her hands, and chokes back tears. "But this means I'll never see you again."

"I know. You once told me that there's a difference between living and not being dead, and it took me a while, but I realized what you meant. You have a chance at living. The Dark Lord will still hunt you, but your life will be your own, not mine," he says. "Do this for me."

A tear slips down her face, and he reaches up to brush it away. He leans down and presses his lips against hers. "I waited a long time do that," he murmurs as he pulls away. "Do it, now!"

She points his wand at him, her hand shaky and her eyes closed. "Obliviate," she says, her voice rough. When she opens her eyes, she meets his dark ones, but she doesn't see a hint of recognition in them. She cries harder and collapses to the ground, the wand clattering beside her.

She feels hands on her waist, pulling her up. She pushes them away from her roughly, hugging herself.

"Come on, Parvati. We have to go. We don't have much time," Ernie whispers gently.

She shakes her head. "I don't want to."

Ernie picks up Blaise's wand and shoves it into her hands. "Are you really going to waste the gift that he gave you? He's giving you the chance to be reunited with Padma. Don't you want that?"

Parvati glances up at the mention of her sister. "Is Padma okay?"

"Seamus is breaking her out now. If you come with me, you will see," Ernie says.

She tightens her hold on the wand and follows Ernie out the door. She briefly pauses to see Blaise, staring off. "Thank you," she murmurs.

"Parvati!" a voice calls.

She doesn't have to turn around to know that it's her sister. As soon as she sees Padma, she takes off at full speed to meet her. She wraps her arms around Padma.

Padma is thinner than she used to be and Parvati has to be careful not to hug her so tightly. "I missed you," she mutters into Padma's dirty hair.

"I missed you too!" she replies. "But come on, we're still not free."

Padma pulls at Parvati's arm, tugging her along, while Parvati thinks of a house that she has been trapped in for far too long with a man that she might just have loved under different circumstances. Their freedom might be within grasps, but there's an emptiness inside Parvati, one like she's never felt before.

A/n – so many thanks to Pam who beta'd this for me.