I closed my eyes. I only saw darkness. I can't seem to think of anything. My life had been a mess recently. I lost the light. I lost the love. I don't know what I did wrong. Every single things that used to mean so much to me before now seems to hold no meaning. Where did I failed? I sure was a bitch. still are, but not as much. sure I don't really pray. but I didn't really ever deny God. I sometimes ask for His protection. I'm not perfect.. but for the past few months I've changed. I don't be all bitchy around people as harsh as I was. I tolerated Sinjin more, I spend more time with the gang. I didn't argue with my parents. I did good. So what did I did wrong?

"you didn't. Fate and Heaven however decided long ago to take it from you"

I still remember. When you was here, and everything was fine. But.. now you're not.. and everything seems so empty now. I should have pushed you. I should have saved you. I should have die, not you. Now I can no longer see you. I can no longer hear you angelic voice. The sound you make when you was so happy. The 'I Love You'. to who now do I exclaims the three words I used to tell you so many times? I should have save you..

"you should live your life. You want me to feel what you're feeling? You know how much that hurt"

Hey.. what's that light? I closed my eyes.. I shouldn't see anything.

I opened my eyes. I realized I was laying on my back. I was wearing a rather silky and soft dress made of white shiny satin. it was a simple, plain yet elegance dress, it reach just above my knees. the sky was blue.. the sun was nowhere in sight, bit the place was bright, sunny but not irritating. it was a grass field I realized.

there was a tree ten feet away from me. some flowers, everywhere. the air was fresh and slightly breezy. it was a beautiful golden field of grass. I look to my right, and there you were. laying on your side, facing me. smiling at me. your eyes still held the same light of love and adoration.

I wasn't all that suprised. but I wasn't expecting this. I hold the look of neutral. your smile just grow.

you carressed my cheek so gracefully. I closed my eyes tight.. enjoying your touch that I've been longing for so long.

you keep carressed my cheek down to my arm, until you reached my hand, and intertwined it with yours. your hand wasn't cold as it was the last time I touched you. it was warm. I realized your dress was the same as mine, just a little longer below your knees. you has a crown of flowers on your head. We didn't do much. just stayed in our position. staring into each others eyes. its odd. the fact that i didn't freaked out. the fact that we're not saying anything. just laying there.. together..

.

"eyes are the window to human's soul. this is how we expressed our love. you know that"

.

you made it clear. and I understand. I'll do just as you wanted. I'll live. I'll wait.

we will still end up together again, eventually.

Everything started to dissappeared in bright white light. you kissed me tenderly. and when you broke apart, you said the three words that turn my world the way it was back. I squeezed your hand. it was a conformation. the three words was a reminder that I better remember, wasn't it? I know now, Tori. don't worry.. I'll live.

I replied the words with my very same one. and then, her smile was the last thing I saw.

I opened my eyes. I was in my room again. something was different here. the way I see the world was the one I had a few weeks ago. everything suddenly held a small meaning to me.

the wind blow from my opened window. I smiled.

I took my bag and get outside. I called someone as I started my car's engine.

"hey Cat...yea, I'm fine, Tori 'talked' to me.. no, that was nothing.. I wanna go to you guys now, where are you?"

everything was fine again. We will all be fine.. I'll be fine... and, I'll see you later, My love.

..."I love you, Jade"

..."I love you too, Tori"