Sirius

He and James sat behind the greenhouse the second week in a row, now.

It had been James' idea, mostly. He was obsessed with the thought of helping Remus. Since we had found out about his 'furry little problem' two years ago, he had spent a lot of time in the library and decided that it would be a great idea for all of us to become Animagi. That had been last hear, this year, however, James had dragged Sirius with him to find out how they could manage that. It was tiring work but Sirius too, was determined to help his friend.

They had taken a lot of books with them and gone outside, for this late at night nobody came behind the greenhouse because it was, in fact, forbidden and if anyone should ever find them here…perish the thought!

Sirius was grateful for James' invisibility cloak because without it they would have never been able to sneak out. Now they sat in the dark with only their wands giving light and read for hour and hours, every night for the past two weeks.

»Look at this James. «, Sirius said and showed his friend a drawing of a red – haired girl that turned into a fox, »Looks just like your Evans, doesn't she? «. I grinned as I saw James blushing. Lily Evans a red – haired girl from Gryffindor, rather pretty and intelligent and absolutely not interested in James, although he had a crush on her for nearly four years now.

»Shut up, Sirius. «

»Did she turn you down again? «, Sirius couldn't help it. It was just too much fun teasing James. He couldn't say that he liked Evans, she was quite annoying because she always thought that she knew better and kept sticking her nose in other peoples' business.

»She didn't – I never - «, James stammered.

»Maybe I should talk to her. «. Sirius said and saw James' jaw dropping. He knew he had gone too far but he didn't care. For months and months now, did he have to listen to James constant swarming over Lily Evans. At least once a week he tried to talk to her or to ask her out on a date and every time she said no and it was Sirius that had to cheer him up afterwards.

»Don't you dare. «, James was really mad now, even with the little light they had, Sirius could see the anger in James' eyes.

»You wanna dare me to something else? «

»What?! What is your problem? «

»My problem? I don't have any, but you…you keep chasing after some obnoxious girl that wouldn't even talk to you. Don't you think you deserve better than that? «

»Don't talk about her like that! Honestly, what is wrong with you? I'm sick of your games Sirius. «

»I don't play games. «, Sirius said and felt a big, fat knot deep in his throat. There was something else, something he had been avoiding for a long time now. They both were on their feet now and their voices must have been carried up to the castle by now but Sirius didn't care about that either. »But if you want me to dare you, I will. «.

They stood face – to – face, only inches away from each other. James' eyes widened.

»Kiss me. «, Sirius heard those words, it was his voice but he couldn't even remember saying them. It was like he watched a stranger and that stranger now stepped even closer to James and James raised his hands and touched the stranger's face. Their lips met and Sirius senses returned to reality. What the fuck am I doing here? He asked himself, James lips where soft and tasted like peppermint.

Sirius drew back, »Shit. «, he mumbled and ran into the dark towards the Forbidden Forest.

He didn't know how long he had been in there but by the time he came out again the horizon already glowed in a golden – red light and the grass was wet of dew. He snuck back into the castle and tiptoed upstairs, using a lot of hidden passages. He arrived at the portrait of the Fat Lady and said the password, before she could give him a lecture. The curtains of James' bed were closed and Sirius could hear soft snoring from behind.

The next day was horrible. Sirius was dead tired, he couldn't concentrate on anything and he felt very (very!) uncomfortable around James. Neither of them spoke of what had happened the night before but they could also not pretend like it hadn't. Sirius caught himself glancing at James whenever he thought the others wouldn't notice. He was confused, or rather he was not and that was even more confusing. He had had girlfriends; in fact, the girls practically threw themselves at him and that was nice. He liked girls, he liked their soft skin, their curves and pretty faces but he always felt like that wasn't enough. He also had always looked at blokes; their muscles and strong behaviour. That of course was a bit confusing, but he did not worry about it too much, but now…He had kissed James, he had enjoyed kissing James, what meant that he was probably not straight, but he also enjoyed kissing girls. He looked at James once again, his hair looked as untidy as ever as if he had just gotten off his broomstick, he followed James gaze and saw Lily Evans with one of her friends, they where giggling and whispering and Sirius felt a sudden wave of jealousy boiling inside of him.

»Is everything okay Sirius? «, Remus looked at his friend rather concerned. »You've been staring at Evens for the last five minutes now and you looked like you were about to kill someone. «. Sirius blinked. »Yeah. I'm fine. «, he caught James' eyes, which gave him a very strange look and then abandoned his dinner to return to the common room, there he sat in front of the fire place and looked into the flames. He knew that his behaviour was ridiculous. James was as straight as anyone could be and madly in love with Lily Evans. And he, Sirius, wasn't interested in him, not like that, anyway.

He looked around, the common room was almost empty, except for two first - year girls that starred at him and blushed embarrassed when he looked back and a guy from fifth year that also looked at him, he, however, did not look away when their eyes met and Sirius smiled. It was his usual smile whenever he wanted something and was determined to get it, it was cheeky, yet adorable and the key to every girl's heart as he had learned; well, apparently not just to the hearts of girls.

The older boy came closer, »May I sit? «, he asked. »Julian, by the way. «. Sirius took his hand, »Sirius and I've got a much better idea. «, Sirius saw something flaring up in Julian's eyes that told him that his guess had been right. They left the common room and Sirius led Julian behind the greenhouse.