Disclaimer: I do not own characters or song lyrics.
If I didn't Have You
This life would kill me If I didn't have you
I couldn't live without you baby
I wouldn't want to
If you didn't love me so much
I'd never make it through
'Cause this life would kill me-
This life would kill me if I didn't have you.
-Thompson Square
(If I didn't Have You)
The world felt like it was shifting. She was walking in an ever changing universe that never seemed to slow down. She'd never thought life had much clarity. However, in that one moment, only for a split second, did things finally begin to make sense.
"Can you hear me?" a muted voice asked in her ear. She wanted to respond to the voice, wanting to let it know she could hear. Her lips made no sound and it was as though her brain would not follow the instructions she had given it.
"Please," the voice begged but it was getting muffled. "Please you can't. . ." the rest of the words turned into radio silence as she struggled to hear the rest of the words.
The world around her was black, with splotches of blue dots that were clouding her already dark vision. She willed herself to open her eyes but nothing happened.
She remained paralyzed by her own body.
Mentally, everything was fine. She felt as though she were thinking straight: like nothing had changed. Though, she would have to be moronic if she hadn't realized something was wrong. Very wrong.
Suddenly panic filled her. It ran from her head down to the tips of her toes. What was going on? Where was she?
She wanted to open her eyes. She wanted to see.
But she couldn't— her body simply wouldn't listen to its owner's demands.
In the darkness she saw his face. Zach's that is. His eyes were lifeless and she knew it was because she wasn't really seeing him.
Something then felt very bad. The blue splotches were getting larger and darker, making her want to squirm. She suddenly an idea of what was going on.
She was dying.
The pain in her chest erupted until it was the only thing she could feel. The only thing that she could otherwise concentrate on was his face, his green eyes staring blankly back at her.
Then it wasn't his face anymore; it was her father's. He was looking back at her, the crinkles by his eyes indicating years of laughter. The pain seemed to lessen as she swore she could hear her father's laughter in her ears, making her wish she could smile.
But almost as soon as he'd come he had gone. Bex was next, her caramel colored hair and dark eyes looking back at her with no expression.
She wished the faces would smile at her. She felt as though she'd done something wrong. Something to make them think she'd deserved this.
Macey was after that, followed by Liz.
Her mother was last and if she had to say, Rachel was the only one who's eyes looked warm. But Cammie supposed it was because it was her mother. She was one of the only people that had loved her unconditionally since the day she was born.
She was seeing her loved ones— her life flashing before her eyes. The thoughts made her want to hold on, to live through the pain in her chest, to ignore the burn that ran like boiling water through her veins.
There was suddenly a different pain in her chest. It was electricity, she was sure. The shooting pain was sharp but caused the other pain to lessen. After the first shock she felt another one.
They were trying to bring her back.
She could suddenly feel oxygen on her lips, inhaling it through both her mouth and her nose. She could breathe. She wasn't dying, she wouldn't die. She could feel it in her bones.
Without warning her eyes opened as the third shock coursed its way through her body. The bright lights of the ambulance caused her eyes to squeeze tightly shut and blink rapidly until the light became dimmer.
The sound of a beating heart filled her ears. She could feel pressure on her right hand and she lolled her head to the side to see Zach; his face streaked with tears.
That almost shocked her more than the unbearable pain she felt in her abdomen. Zach didn't cry. Not once had she ever seen him shed a tear.
Maybe she was dead. She'd never imagined him crying. His face was dirty and she absentmindedly wondered why.
His green eyes were shinning and she wasn't sure if it was because of the tears. But when she met his eyes his mouth lifted into a bit of a crooked smile. As if he had a hard time believing what he was seeing.
His mouth moved but she didn't hear the words and she had a feeling he'd lost his voice. He was too overcome with emotion to speak. Vaguely, she realized there were other people around, shooting needles and placing masks on her face. But she couldn't focus on them— all she saw were the bright green eyes of the person she loved more than anything in the world.
She wanted to reach out and touch him. She wanted to tell him how much she loved him. She wanted him to take her in his arms and bring her back. She knew he could heal her. They did that for each other. She needed him as much as she needed air.
A life without him would be miserable.
She'd never figured out why she'd been on the earth before. But at that very moment, looking into his eyes she knew why. They needed each other. Always.
The air she was breathing in was no longer just oxygen. She knew it was meant for making her lose consciousness. She knew why they were doing it. They had to perform surgery. And the pain would be too excruciating for her to deal with awake.
As her eyes fluttered closed she managed to return the pressure on his hand, squeezing it as tightly as she could.
She wanted him to know she wasn't leaving. That she would never leave him. Not when she had the power to fight back.
And if meant staying with him; she would fight back every time.
Hey guys so i literally just wrote this. I have no idea where it came from. I've been listening to this song a lot (because it's awesome!) But I actually didn't base it off the song. But it fits nicely so I guess it was my subconscious at work. I just wanted to write another one shot and this is what came about.
I hope you liked it and got it. Jut kind of a little drabble.
Review if you liked it. :)
Thanks