"Do you knot see how necessary a world of pains and troubles is: to school an intelligence and make it a soul?" – John Keats (poet)
A graveyard, like death itself, can be eerily beautiful- and so, Lee smiles daftly and casts a sideways glance at him in the usual goofy manner when he thinks it, can Gaara. For the hundredth time; he wonders, in the same modest manner that attracted Gaara in the first place- what could have something so beautiful ever wanted with him?
Gaara, with his perfect features and milky skin (almost like a china doll) and warm (most would say they're cold; but all Lee can see is warmth and he doesn't know, much less care what others think) turquoise eyes (eyes that are lined as though with the shadow of his past) and small frame (perfectly matching Lee's own) and full lips (soft and pink, smooth as though they have never been touched- though Lee knows, of course, that they have). He is beautiful; no matter what he thinks himself.
They walk, hand in hand through the beautiful place. They're in Konoha (there are few among Suna's dead that Gaara would make a personal visit to). They're at the memorial stone, finding the familiar names. It is snowing and Lee smiles again, knowing that this can only add to the effect of the scene and to their closeness- Gaara unconsciously leans closer every time they see a familiar name- and there are a few now. Quite a few who died, during the fights and the tears and the fleeting joy and the amazing rollercoaster that is the life they have known…
"Sasuke…" there is a small crease between Gaara's eyes, he draws closer still; "They tried so hard…" and Lee is mildly surprised to hear his voice shake as he stares at the name before them. Years of effort gone to waste, Sasuke had died in his friend's arms… if only he could have reached Tsunade… they look on.
"Neji…" Gaara finds another name and Lee's throat constricts and the corners of his mouth twitch down and it should be his turn to cry. Yet he refrains; he knows the Hyuuga is in a better place. Their rivalry was something he (if not Neji) would always treasure.
"Kakashi…" and they remember how horrific that was and try not to think about it any more.
"Naruto…" and this one in particular- in particular, wasn't fair. Gaara stops speaking; it's been years and they're in their thirties and it shouldn't hurt anymore; but every time he is mentioned Gaara stops and buries his head in Lee's shoulder and cries like he's not sure what else to do. Lee will always wait and hold him; fighting back his own tears.
Lee's almost glad they live in Suna now…
Kankuro lives in Suna still. Just Kankuro; Temari's name, as well as in Suna, is carved here somewhere; the place she accidentally came to love more than her own home (and not just for the presence of the man whose name is beside hers, Shikamaru). They, by an unspoken rule, don't look at Temari's name. Not only because Gaara doesn't seem able to face it but because Gai's is nearby and Lee can most definitely not face that. They tell themselves over and over that a shinobi's life is never long.
It doesn't help.
"Gaara. Let's go" Lee speaks for the first time since they saw the names.
"Why…?" he's not asking why they should leave. He's asking why someone as cold, emotionally stunted and inhuman and surrounded by death would still be living when the beautiful people named on the stone are no longer- for Gaara is inhuman- death continues to turn the other cheek where he is regarded- like he has no place in the afterlife.
"It just- it just happens…"
"Doesn't it hurt you? Doesn't it hurt to- to see them and- and" Gaara is rarely emotional around anyone else and it breaks Lee's heart when they are alone in this place.
"Of course…" he replies tenderly "but- I try to think positively…"
"Positively…" to anyone else, it would have been a snide interruption. To Lee, it was a plea, almost like Gaara was begging 'tell me how! Tell me how to live with this!' "What exactly is-"
"It reminds me that we're both still alive…" Lee says, taking Gaara's hand "and there are others that need you. That love you. That are also well and truly alive." Gaara tries not to think of these people when he is grieving- but Lee is right, he has his village and his brother; he has his sister-in-law and his niece (the girl is lively and innocent and so unlike he and his own siblings ever were, with a father that cares more for her than Gaara could have thought possible); he has Lee's friends (now his own as well) and he has Lee.
He's closer to smiling than Lee has seen in a long time; "I love you…" he whispers and kisses Lee like they'll die tomorrow- because the gods only know that they might.
A/N:
This was supposed to outline the beauty of death. In Greek mythology; death was considered the greatest gift the gods could bestow upon you because it meant to be released from all earthly bonds and suffering- and yet Gaara eludes death (or finds it and then miraculously gets away again)- almost like he is not favoured by such higher powers…
… that's my logic anyway… :D
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