You never told me.
The credit goes where it belongs to Mr.W. Shakespeare, and to Ms. S. Wainwright for bringing his characters into 21st century,
And to Rufus Sewell and Shirley Henderson for giving them life.
This isn't a story as such but a conversational exploration of Petruchio's youth.
Goin' Back by The Pretenders has the lovely nostalgic feel that I think this story needs.
'I think I'm goin' back
To the things I learnt so well in my youth.
I think I'm returning to those days
When I was young enough to know the truth.
...
I'd rather see the world the way it used to be.
A little freedom's all we lack.
So catch me if you can I'm goin' back.
YOU'VE NEVER TOLD ME
"You've never told me how you got those scars on your face."
We were down at Hazlington. We had made love; I was lying with one arm behind my head and the other around her shoulder holding her tucked into my side. We were just talking, lazily drifting from one thing to another.
"Haven't I? Oh!"
"Well?"
"Oh... well, um, the one on my eye brow ... I was sailing with some friends and we were heeled right over, moving fast ... Belting along at a hell of a lick, And this girl ... She fell and was slipping along the fore deck, I grabbed her and the boat straightened, then threw us back, we were both slipping then, she nearly went over and I smashed my head against a stanchion. I held on to her though. God, the blood was streaming down my face but she didn't go overboard."
"You saved her life?"
"Well... er ... I suppose..."
She was looking at me with her enormous brown eyes, her mouth forming that lovely M.
And this one, by my mouth, there was a kitten trapped in the horse chestnut tree, the one round by the stables?
I climbed up to rescue it. I got it down so far and it struggled and scratched and we fell. I caught my face on a branch."
"Was the kitten alright?"
"Oh yes...You know about cats and nine lives."
"It's cobbled around that tree."
"Mmm," I said.
"You could have broken your neck or something."
Her face was so serious; I couldn't prevent a sly grin.
"What? ...what, it never happened?"
She looked at me.
"You liar!"
She pummelled me.
"And the other about the girl, that didn't happen either?"
I was sniggering now.
"You lying sod."
"Oh Kate! You are so easy to take in."
"How did you do them?"
"The one on my eye brow I did when I was about fourteen; I bumped my bike down a pothole on the drive and fell off. Split my eyebrow on the handlebar. Five stitches.
And the other I did when I was about 6 or 7. I was rummaging around in the attics where I shouldn't have been and tripped over something and caught my face on an old bed spring. Two stitches there."
"Hah."
She thumped me again and curled back into my side, her head on my chest, wriggling ...like a little kitten, my lovely little cat, her fingers drifting up and down the line of hairs that ran down to my groin.
"Have you got any other scars?"
"No my love, that's all. What you see is what you get. And if you keep doing that, what you'll get should be no surprise to you. You're teasing!"
"Do you want me to stop?"
"Did I say that?"
"Go on."
"Go on what?"
"Telling me about ...anything."
"What?"
"Girl friends."
"Nothing to tell."
"There must be."
Her fingers were circling my navel.
"What do you want to know?"
"Well ...um...um"
"How ...um... ...how many ...have there been many ..."
We've been married a little time now and though we have talked and asked each other about almost everything, she had never asked me this before.
I waited.
"Do you really want to know?"
Taking her silence for an answer, I said slowly,
"Well. I'm 38 Kate. I've never been married before, never been engaged, or lived with anyone,
so ...I mean, if you're married or something, then there should be only one ...hopefully. So there wouldn't be so... What I'm trying to say... Oh, I don't know ... there was nobody who lasted very long, so yeah, I suppose there have been quite a few..."
"Did you sleep with ...I mean how many... all of them?"
"I suppose that's what I am trying to say ... a fair few... You don't mind ... Do you? There's no need. I mean there was no-one important, nobody that mattered."
"Were you in love... with anyone?"
"No, not really, sometimes it was a bit ...intense for a time, but I never wanted to marry or even live with anyone... It was fun... just...sex.
That's why it was so different when I met you, I fell in love with you, I knew straight away...
you were the one."
Her fingers had moved down and were playing in the longer hairs.
"How...um...who was ...Um...the first time... When... I mean... how old were you ..."
"When did I lose my cherry, you mean? Uh, the Christmas after I was sixteen."
"You can be so exact?"
"Ohh yess. I can be more exact, Boxing Day, 26th December 1983, the afternoon, between 2.30 and 5p.m."
"Who was she?"
"Sister of a friend."
"What was her name? Your girlfriend ..?"
"She wasn't my girlfriend or anything... And her name was Joanna. She was older than me, about eighteen, I hardly knew her, never said more than 'Hello' to her before then."
She gave a little snort.
"Really! She was Head girl of our school; she seduced me, some sort of a bet or game."
"Really?"
"Mmm"
Her serious brown eyes watched me.
"You're not having me on again?"
"No, honest and truly."
Her fingers stilled. Her little hand lay flat above my crotch
"Ooh um there had been a girls' party at my mate's house before Christmas. His sister and her friends. They were all a bit pissed, talking about who they had had, would like to have, my mate came home and they dragged him in to their discussion on his form mates, who they would like to "educate"... He had to tell them...he'd seen his form-mates in the showers after rugby, he should know who had the biggest ...well, you know.
My name came up and, anyway they drew straws and she won...or lost...whichever. "
"How did you find that out?"
"She told me; and my mate did too, later. He wanted to know if she went through with it... All the gory details."
"Was it Harry? "
"No, we didn't know each other so well then."
"Did you tell him, your friend?"
"No! Told him to eff off, which I suppose did tell him in a way."
"Go on."
" The old man had gone racing, Boxing day. I usually went with him, just didn't feel like it that day... and she turned up ... Mrs Humphries, our housekeeper had shown her into the drawing room. I was up in my room. Mrs Humphries said there's a young lady for you, couldn't think who on earth it could be...couldn't think what on earth she wanted.
She asked if my father was in. Would Mrs Humphries expect to join us?
Didn't know what the hell she was getting at. Then she said, did the door lock? Still didn't know ... Well when you're sixteen, you don't expect someone to come and seduce you ... Well maybe fantasize about it, but you don't think it will actually happen.
She said, do you know why I am here? I'm here to initiate you.
I was so naive, confused, embarrassed, I said initiate me in what? Fucking, she said. I wanted to run but I immediately had such a huge hard on, I couldn't move so she locked the door. She showed me a Durex and asked if I knew what it was.
She said to me I'm going to teach you what girls like. I'm sick of guys who only think about themselves.
First thing is, it is always better when you both enjoy it and that means, you wait for the girl.
She unzipped my jeans and put her hand in,
and the 2nd thing, this is how to stop when you are nearly coming. and she gripped my cock hard at the base.
Then you pleasure your lady like this. She undid her top; put my hands on her breasts, and like this, inside her jeans, in her crotch. And if you do it right, if you do it slowly, thinking about her, it's even better for you; and she taught me all the things a boy's fantasy never includes like never, never do it without a Durex; and that when you come, you think you are dying; and that when your woman comes with you, it is the most wonderful feeling on God's earth.
And we did it on the sofa in the drawing room.
More than once."
We lay, Kate's face against my chest.
What was she thinking?
"What was she like?"
"Tall, long straight blonde hair, sexy, like a young Susan Penhaligon, big...um..." I cupped my hand to demonstrate and thought better of it. Wholesome to look at but hot. She looked up at me and moved her hand to fiddle with my chest hairs. Shame...things were starting to happen there.
" Were you in love with her?"
I laughed. "In Lust! How could I be in love with her? We never said 2 words to each other except when we were shagging and then, like, she was telling me what to do.
We must have done it about 3-4 times when she said she had to go home for tea. I don't think I said a single word."
"I find that hard to believe. You! You! Never said a word? and 3 or 4 times? In an afternoon?"
"Honestly! I was only sixteen and I was in awe of her. She was the head girl!
And I was sixteen. When you're sixteen, you don't know you can't do it 3 or 4 times in couple of hours.
The next day I hung around the house for a while, and then decided to go and hang around their house to see if I could see her.
I got my bike out but when I got to the end of the drive ...there she was, coming up.
And that's how it went ...for the rest of the holidays. We were at it, like... I don't know ... In the potting shed ... the stables, and the old man still had the horses then...the glasshouses, nice and warm... We were up in my bedroom once, sneaked up there and the old man came home ...was looking for me...calling me... came in my room... We hid under the bed. God! I had this huge erection..."
"How did you get her out...if your dad was there?"
"Through the Gallery, down the backstairs then out through the Great Hall..."
"How long did it last?"
"About three weeks, every day...3 or 4 times every afternoon ... Till her boyfriend came home and we went back to school.
And I don't think I said more than a dozen words to her during the whole time and certainly no more than half a dozen words in the twenty two years since."
"She still lives around here?"
"Oh yeah, in the village."
"Will you tell me ... if we see her?"
"I shouldn't think so."
"Is she ...does she still look good?"
"Yeah, she's got a couple of kids but yeah she's still pretty fit."
She was watching me, speculating.
"Who was the next?"
"Contrary to public belief, not very many 16 year old schoolgirls sleep about. At least not in this neck of the woods. Not at that time, at least not to my knowledge.
The sixth form leaving party! 18, we could all get legally plastered then and did, that was the second time. Once. Then up at Uni ...well... Things were different."
"Um ...um...You said she taught you what ... Um did she... I mean Joanna... Did she teach you...you know...you know...? What we...like best."
"What? Oh, oh that, no. No, somebody else taught me that. ...God! Was she hot ...and wild! Phew! A wild cat. And randy! She was a pick up. I picked her up...in a lift. A tiny, black haired, dark eyed wildcat.
Kat by name, Kat by nature. Kate ... No Kate. Kate no Kate Kate...not that, not there. Ow! Kate!"
I held her to me tightly.
"Nobody mattered, Kate."
"You remember...her."
"You never forget your first."
"I suppose not."
"What about you, Kate. Your first."
I suppose I was fishing. I didn't know about her, at least I was never sure. I'd been told she was a virgin before we were married but she had said...no, implied ...no, not even that.
I had taken that she was a virgin for granted.
She had said, I shouldn't ask. Had jumped on me like a ton of bricks.
"He was... lovely. Gentle, caring,
Does it matter?"
"No".
But I found it did.
It did. I wanted to know. I wasn't jealous, no it wasn't that, no, not jealous ... Suddenly I cared, I hated the idea that someone else had shared with Kate what we had together, I wanted to know about him. Yes! I was bloody jealous and I had to know.
"What was he like?"
"Tall, broad, dark...thick curly hair. He was so gentle and loving. He knew he was my first love, knew it was my first time and he was... so...wonderful."
It was like a knife in my stomach.
"Did you love him, Kate?"
On a sigh, she said,
"Oh, yes... Ohh yes. ...Still do... ...I suppose I always will. "
The knife twisted in me.
"You see there was something different about him, very different."
How old were you?
"38."
I looked down at her but she was turned away.
But... some one... before we met?
Did she know someone then?
She went on.
"He was so full of life, he made me laugh ... And did I mention it? He had has a lovely straight nose and beautiful green eyes; he sang to me and he quoted Shakespeare to me."
She turned her head and looked up into my green eyes, tugged gently at my dark curly hair, ran her finger down my nose to my lips and smiled at me. And the knife disappeared and only the leaping joy remained.
"Do you know which I like best? My favourite quote?"
"'Kiss me Kate.'?"
And she did.
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