Walk Away
ZPOV
Laying in the shadowy darkness of my room at Gallagher, my thoughts overwhelm me when sleep doesn't. I think about my childhood I think about my dad. I think about Blackthorne, and lastly I think about my awful mother. Grim images of her death fill my mind, so instead I think about Cammie. Cammie.
I don't know why she's with me.
We are such opposites, Cammie and I. Her trustworthy, me deceiving. But in a way, we are so much the same. We both lost a loved one. Our dads.
I only brought her trouble since the day she met me.
Thinking back to that day in D.C tailing Cammie, and besting her, I knew I was in for it. I had finally gone up against someone who could possibly meet my needs. And from the moment I laid eyes on her, the sharp wit in her eyes, the beauty in her plain features, I knew I was a goner.
If I was her, I would have left me. I would have walked away. But now I've broken away.
After that first kiss I left her with, sophomore year, I discovered my mother's motives. I knew she was after someone at Gallagher. I just didn't know she was after my Gallagher Girl. I couldn't bear the thought of harm coming to Cammie, so I dropped contact for the summer. Zip. Zero. Nada.
Somehow instead she forgave me. She said a woman's got to do what she's got to do. Even if it means she denied herself the truth.
It took Cam awhile. I could see it in her eyes everywhere she thought she saw me, or where I actually was. I hurt her. But she was forgiving and forgetting. On the train she brought it up. I couldn't tell her. I just couldn't. So I just closed up. And in the tombs. I was surprised that Cammie couldn't see the resemblance between me and my mother. I don't think she wanted to believe it herself.
'Cause when you're in too deep you wake up when it's too late.
After the tombs, I thought everything between us was over. I had betrayed her. Lied. The dream that everything was ok came back to reality and the truth came out. It always does.
You've fallen in love in the worst way. And if you don't go now then you'll stay.
We were scared. Of commitment. Of love. And I do love Cammie; I'm just waiting for the right moment to tell her. Or if I do tell her, will she believe me?
'Cause I'll never let you leave never let you breathe.
'Cause if you're looking for heaven, baby, it sure as hell ain't me.
If it were possible for me to keep Cammie safe, and love her unconditionally, I would keep her on her toes. We always kept each other thinking. Wondering.
So walk away
Walk away
Save yourself from the heartache
Go now before it's too late
If Cammie didn't want me, then I would respect that. Let her go on the outside. Keep ahold of her on the inside. Never forget.
So walk away
Walk away
Save yourself from the heartache
Go now before it's too late
But she still stays
Never forget the three words we were each too scared to say.
She's standing in the heart of darkness. Saying I know you got a soul even though you're heartless.
Cammie always came back. Although she knew I was an assassin. Though she knew I was related to the woman who wanted her dead. She believed in me though I didn't deserve it.
How could any woman in their right mind be so blind? To find something safe.
Instead of walking with me she should have walked away.
Getting to know Cammie, getting to love her, my thoughts had a war. One side was begging for her to find someone else, someone better for her. The other side hoped for her to stay. But it was for her to choose.
She finds color in the darkest places
She finds beauty in the saddest of faces
For such a groovy and headstrong girl
Cammie is a beautiful person inside and out. And laying here, I have come to the conclusion that I need to tell her that. Now. Before it's too late.
Could've had the world but she's fallen in love in the worst way.
And if you don't go now then you'll stay.
Jumping out of bed, I flick on the lamp. I squint in the sudden brightness, looking for clean clothes. I scrounge the floor and come upon a clean shirt and some jeans. I pull them on and walk out of my dorm, locking the door behind me.
'Cause I'll never let you leave, never let you breathe
'Cause if you're looking for heaven, baby, it sure as hell ain't me.
Walking through the dark, quiet halls the sounds of sleeping and snoring girls fills my ears. I chuckle quietly, and shake my head. I shove my hands in my pockets, and continue through the mansion.
So walk away
Walk away
Save yourself from the heartache
Go now before it's too late
I reach Cammie's dorm and raise my fist to knock, but then stop myself. I forgot of what to say. Suddenly the door is flung open by a sleepy- looking Macey McHenry.
So walk away
Walk away
Save yourself from the heartache
Go now before it's too late
But she still stays
But she still stays
As soon as she sees my face she grimaces. "What do you want, Goode? I need my beauty sleep." She says glumly.
I don't know why she's with me. I only brought her trouble since the day she met me.
If I was her by now I would have left me
I would have walked away.
I smirk. At least I can get a laugh out of this night. "I need to speak with Cammie. It's urgent." She rolls her eyes and glances to the other sleeping bodies in the room. With a small smile on her face she replies, "Fine. But you get to wake her up."
But you've fallen in love in the worst way. And if you don't go now then you'll stay.
I walk over to Cammie's bed and whisper in her ear, "Gallagher Girl." She groans and rolls over now facing me. Still sleeping she looks peaceful, beautiful even. Aware of Macey and probably the other girls in the room watching me, I put my hands on Cam's shoulders and shake her gently. "Cammie," I whisper. She mumbles something and slowly opens her sleepy eyes.
'Cause I'll never let you leave, never let you breathe.
'Cause if you're looking for heaven, baby, it sure as hell ain't me.
Realizing that it's me that is holding her shoulders, her eyes widen and waken more with a start. "What are you doing in my room Zach!" She whisper-yells. "I need to talk to you." I reply smirking.
So walk away
Walk away
Save yourself from the heartache
Go now before it's too late.
She takes a glance at the nightstand where the clock is sitting. Whipping her head back around Cam says, "You do realize that it's 2:49 in the morning?" "Yes." In the background, McHenry is analyzing every little thing about our conversation, ready to dissect in the morning probably.
So walk away
Walk away
Save yourself from the heartache
Go now before it's too late
But she still stays
But she still stays
Cammie collects herself, and sits up on her bed, crossing her legs. I'm vaguely aware that she is wearing The Little Mermaid pajamas. Her eyes narrow as she scrutinizes my face. "Start talking. And this better be good." Realizing I hadn't thought about what to say, I took a deep breath and winged it.
I'm saying walk away
Yeah, I'm saying walk away
"I love you." Cammie's eyes widen and I hear three gasps in the back ground. I should've known they'd all be listening. Not knowing what to say next I just look into her eyes, searching for her answer. I wait a long time. I count the minutes as they go by. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. At five I sigh and stand up heading for the door. Rejected. My hand reaches for the cold door knob but something else stops it. A warm hand.
Save yourself from heartache
Go now before it's too late
But she still stays
But she still stays
Still she stays, yeah, she stays, she stays.
I look into her bright eyes, mine guarded as she holds my hand and says the four words that make my night, if not my life.
"I love you too."