Chapter 1.
AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) 2 my gf (ew not in that way) louise, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! caitlin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!
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Hi my name is Han Solo and I don't have a boyfriend so I'm riding solo at the moment (that's how I got my name) and I have short umber brown hair with purple streaks and red tips and muddy brown eyes like mud and a lot of people tell me I look like Sirius Black (AN: if u don't know who dat is get da hell out of here!). I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I'm also a wizard, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hoth Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. And a vest. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.
"RRRRARRG!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Chewbacca!
"What's up Chewbacca?" I asked.
"RRRRARRGHHEH." He said shyly.
But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.
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Chapter 2.
AN: Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok!
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The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had. My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. And a vest. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears.
My friend, Willbur (AN: Louise dis is u!) woke up then and grinned at me. They flipped their long waist-length black hair with pink streaks and opened their forest-green eyes. They put on their Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)
"OMFG, I saw you talking to Chewbacca Malfoy yesterday!" they said excitedly.
"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing.
"Do you like Chewbacca?" they asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.
"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted.
"Yeah right!" they exclaimed. Just then, Chewbacca walked up to me.
"Ruuurghhhh." He said.
"Hi." I replied flirtily.
"RRghhrhhghj." He said.
"What?" I asked.
"RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH." He told me.
"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR.
"RRrhghggh?" he asked.
I gasped.
Chapter 3.
AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK! odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws! FANGS AGEN LOUISE! oh yeah, BTW I don't own dis or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte.
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On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a bla ck leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. Also I put on a vest. I made my hair look all spikey. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway. I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert.
I went outside. Chewbacca was waiting there in front of his flying pod racer. He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl wookiez wer it ok!).
"Hi Chewbacca!" I said in a depressed voice.
"Hi Han." He said back. We walked into his flying black pod racer (the license plate said 666) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs. When we got there, we both hopped out of the pod racer. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.
"You come in cold, you're covered in blood
They're all so happy you've arrived
The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom
they sets you free into this life." sang Joel (I don't own da lyrics 2 dat song).
"Joel is so fucking hot." I said to Chewbacca, pointing to him as they sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.
Suddenly Chewbacca looked sad.
"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.
"Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said.
"Rrrugggh?" asked Chewbacca sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.
"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Jar Jar fucking Binks. I fucking hate that little bitch." I said disgustedly, thinking of his ugly gungan face.
The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Chewbacca. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Chewbacca and I crawled back into the pod racer, but Chewbacca didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the pod racer into… the forests of Endor!
Chapter 4.
AN: I sed stup flaming ok han's name is HNA nut mary su OK! CHEWBACCA IS SOO IN LUV wif him dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok!
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"CHEWBACCA!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?"
Chewbacca didn't answer but he stopped the pod racer and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.
"What the fucking hell?" I asked angrily.
"RRRRGH?" he asked.
"What?" I snapped.
Chewbacca leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore.
And then… suddenly just as I Chewbacca kissed me passionately. Chewbacca climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my VEST. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.
"Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then….
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"
It was….Obi Wan Kenobi!
Chapter 5.
AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr! Da only reson Cannoli swor is coz he had a hedache ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx! PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws!
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Obi Wan Kenobi made and Chewbacca and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.
"You ludacris fools!" he shouted.
I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face. Chewbacca comforted me. When we went back to the castle Obi Wan Kenobi took us to Professor Yoda and Professor Padme who were both looking very angry.
"They were having sexual intercourse in the Forests of Endor!" he yelled in a furious voice.
"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" asked Professor Padme.
"How dare you?" demanded Professor Yoda.
And then Chewbacca shrieked. "RRRRRRGRGHRRRRH!"
Everyone was quiet. Obi Wan Kenobi and Professor Padme still looked mad but Professor Yoda said. "Fine. Very well. Up to your rooms, you may go."
Chewbacca and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.
"RRRRGHHHHH?" Chewbacca asked me gently.
"Yeah I guess." I lied. I went to the girl's dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length vest with red lace all around it and black high heels. When I came out….
Chewbacca was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing 'I just wanna live' by Good Charlotte. I was so flattered, even though he wasn't supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.
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