Author's Notes: So! One of my close friends and I were discussing the infamous, notorious, DISGUSTING Shock video you all might have heard of or much worse seen, 2 Girls 1 Cup. GROSS. She hasn't seen it, I have....cuz im too effin curious...and honestly it is sick shit....literally. Though I have seen worse videos I have to admit (curiosity killed the cat), and can I say...what is wrong with these people? It's....suicidal sex. If you have a weak stomach, don't watch it...or THEM. SERIOUSLY. But, if you need a good laugh, youtube some reaction videos :) SO! Alright so we had this idea to write a reaction-video-fic (has anyone ever done one of these???) of FFVIII characters. I wrote it for us for laughs, but thought I should share it with the rest of the FF8 community. It was thought of late night and made for humor, so nothing utterly serious please. Don't horribly criticize my writing either please. It's been like. . .a year since I wrote anything other than Honors English Freshman essays and text messages.
NOTE: I will do careful work not to describe the video too much for you guys who dof not want a vivid description or for those of you who plan to watch it (crazy ass!). There will be cussing in this fic. After all, it's a "reaction" ;D
PWP (but technically there's no porn lol) and Oneshot. Meant for laughs. Don't go all psychoanalysis with this. FFVIII belongs to Square Enix and 2g1c belongs to MFX Media.f
For those of you who don't know what the heck I'm talking about, its a shock video. These are overly sexually explicit videos made with a disgusting twist and posted as a viral video on the internet, which is, well, made to shock people. As a result, people post reaction vids on websites like YouTube, some even get their family or friend's reactions instead of their own. This particular one gained a lot of notoriety and its a preview to a whole porno from Brazil or somethig. It's banned in the US for all I know. All you need to know about this one here: Two girls eating shit out of a cup. Yes. Okay enough of these and let's start!
One Girl, One Webcam
"Irvy!!! Irvine!?....IRVINE!! I FOUND SOMETHING FOR US TO DO!!!"
". . .Yeah Selph?"
"I have this amazing new video to show you!!! It's all over the internet! Everyone's watching it!" Selphie excitedly singsongs from the living room section of Irvine's large dorm. Irvine, sprawled on his bed on the hot, long, typical Balamb summer day, was staring into the ceiling. Anything anyone had to offer for entertainment was a sure fire plan for him. Even being in a relationship with the archetype of exuberance, there were times when you had your slow days. However, Selphie apparently just got some new activities up her sleeve. . .
"Alright....coming," Irvine groans, heaving his tall, ample body off the king-size (a generous gift of Garden, no?) and out into the living room.
"It's REEEEAAAALLLLYY good!"
This seemed a little too suspicious; Selphie was never really good at hiding her true intentions. Always being the one dropping hints to her master plan, her devious design. But boredom, as ironic as it sounds, is a motivational force that leads even the smartest of kids to do the dumbest things; Irvine being no exception to this common rule. He leaned back against the door frame, observing Selphie type and click away at whatever surprise she had prepared for him.
"Wait, wait, let me get this email opened up, just a sec. . .(go to the website, good. Turn on webcam, good. Position it......errrrrh check. Hide the webcam window, hehehe. And here, this'll be fun. Too fun), "she smirks at this thought, but quickly stops and whirls around to face Irvine, sweet as Peeps, using her previous singsong tone, "Okay!!! Here it is!!!!". She gets up, radiating Selphie-certified sunshine but subtly emitting the aura of her true dispositions. The cowboy waltzed over to the desktop, plopping onto the seat as he awaits for this show to commence. Selphie was way too obvious this time, giggling as she bent down to click 'play' on the embedded video. Irvine watched the routinely loading symbol spin as he remained almost stoic in his demeanor, awaiting for whatever someone as psychotic as his girlfriend would make her boyfriend watch. He heard some classical music begin playing and a slide reading, "MFX 1209". He smirked, watching two lesbians basking and reveling in each others company; savoring and enjoying each other in the sick, pornographic manner it ultimately was.
"Hehehehe, WHOO! Damn, Selph, I didn't know you were into this...", Irvine says, turned on like your average straight boy and his girlxgirl porn. So it turns out, Selphie didn't have anything bad to show. But of course, any smart reader and onlooker would know better than to count your earnings before you collect them. It begins. . .
"Ehehehe!...............OOOOHHHMY FUHH WHAT THE!!?!?!" Irvine screams, his expression changing from a smug smirk to earth-shattering shock. Eyes and face as wide and long as the cactuar's, maybe bigger.
"Daaaaahahahahahaha! You big dumbass! What'd you think I was showing you? You should have seen your face! Its pure genius! You look like those bass down in Balamb market! I can give them fishers a run for their money with you! HA! Or better? How about I just put a mustache on you and you can be the new Jumbo Cactuar of Kaskabald Desert?" Selphie chokes up through convulsions of laughter, walking backwards to collapse onto the couch holding her head and stomach for dear life.
More seconds pass as Irvine the Bass Man gazes and gapes at the sight on the screen. He's delirious, ". . .Is this it??? Wait...whoa, whoa, AWWWUUUGGGGHHH!!! * choke * gag * cough * D-d-d-duuuuuuuude!!! That's just nasty!!! * cough* Ughh....man....URGH!" The poor guy looks ready for an asylum far, far away secluded on the islands of Centra. He is basically screaming at the computer, momentarily forgetting of Selphie's noticeable, equally psychopathic condition on the couch. The classical track continues to play along, adding a strong sense of irony in the air to the most famous, but not the worst, shock video to ever hit Time Compression.
The minute video preview soon comes to an end, as Irvine appears to be frozen in time, letting the images register into his mind. He stays that way as if stuck in a rift of time, before finally turning his head to acknowledge Selphie, who has changed positions to holding her mouth to prevent another uproar.
"That....was....THE...SICKEST...SHIT...I have ever seen. What the hell, Selphie?"
She lets out what sounds like a squeaking hiccup. "It...was...ha....it was...hahaha....it was to record your reaction. And let me tell you, you were amazing. This is soo going on YouTube," she mutters through contained bursts of giggles.
"YouTube?...Huh? How? What..." he darts his head back to scan the computer monitor, his eyes bouncing back and forth inside their sockets to spot the webcam, the scary little cyclops being like the Medusa who has kept Irvine still. (I knew getting that webcam would be used for more than just chat). He squints at it and darts back to connect eyes with Selphie.
"Okay, you CANNOT post this. I will look like an idiot,"
"No shit, Sherlock! That's the point. Don't worry there are a bunch of people like you on there!"
"No, no, no. You can not. Please." he begs.
"No! I am posting that on there whether you like it or not! You said I could do whatever I could to make you unbored! And ha! You should watch what you ask for!"
There was no use in arguing with Selphie. He has been with her through more than enough to know her cheery personality came with an adamant, hard willpower. If she wanted to cover the world in flowers and rainbows, much to Squall's discomfort, she would be an unrelenting force in doing so.
He would have to go with what she said, even if it meant his reputation being a bit fuzzed.
". . .Hm....I'm not the only one you say?" he says, his own idea stirring up.
"Nope! Not at all! And trust me you ain't so bad compared to the other reactions. You're like a 6.5 on the 10 scale. I ain't done with ma plan either. I'm recording everybody's reaction! This is gonna be some bomb ass shit! I'll put them all together and get more views than ANY of those reaction videos!"
"Oh....danggit that was gonna be my idea,"
"That's why I call the shots big-boy," she answers with a wink.
"Who next?"
"Zelly-boy. You call him up, I'll get the guns ready. You can be the messenger girl."
Selphie had this up her sleeve since last week, inspired after watching a group of Galbadian soldiers post their video at their headquarters. Today, was the perfect oppurtunity too, with a bored Irvine and the same old schedule on everyone's agenda. It made an easy, physically harmless prank. It made her laugh too. Why not? Operation SNIPER: Show Naïve Imbeciles Poop Eating Retards as she officially called it. She planned to make it a great something to show Garden at the upcoming festival too, at least only to her knowledge, without the victims' consent, and before posting on YouTube.
ZELL ENTERS HELL
A quarter hour passes until Irvine arrives back at the dorm, with the spiky-haired blonde at his side. Selphie was busy as she originally was typing and clicking away, weaving the open patches of her web to repair it and capture the next victim. Here we all are...
"Zell! Okay, guess what? There's this new YouTube vid being passed around. You just have to see it,"
"Uh couldn't I just watch it at home or my dorm? Send me the link or something! Geezus, I was in the middle of going to get some – "
" – Pleeease? Will you watch it here?" She interrupts with a hard, pleading look
"Sigh.......Ugh! Okay okay! Geez!" Zell too knew that if he didn't agree, she will eventually go Chuckie on him, and she HAS done it before.
"Don't get your fists up your ass so quickly. You will love it, because moi is here to make it funnerer!"
"So where is this?" he says, sinking into the rolling chair, lounging himself in the comforts its puffiness has to offer.
"Wait wait wait! Let me..." She barges in front of him, her small frame surprisingly being able to obstruct his view completely. She quickly starts the webcam and tilts it down the right level. Hiding it with the other window, she presses play and jumps out in one fluid motion. Irvine, watching this entire procession, had his previous smirk return to his face. This was genius alright. Seating himself onto a reclining chair, he waits for the new show to occur. The same slide starts the video, followed by the degraded lover's melody from before. Zell leans back, and sees the same lesbians doing the same things as Irvine had seen it.
". . .Okay? You made me stop what I was doing to watch a porno. Either I have no sense of humor or you re just – OHMYGOD! What in the world? * Gasps * H-h-AHHHHHHHHHHH!" he shouts, averting his eyes into his hands.
Selphie, cackling nearby pushed Zell back up, " Ya gotta watch the WHOLE thing! No turning back!"
"DUUUDE! AHHHHH! YUCK! OHMY! I DIDN'T EVEN AGREE TO THIS! WHAT ARE THEY DOING TO THEMSELVES!!! URGGGHHH! AHHHHH!"
"AHAHAHA, Yes, yes, haha, you did, just a minute ago! HAAAA HEHEHE You even sealed the deal by sitting down!"
Zell's seat was turned a full 90 degree angle, while his head and face watched the shocking, pornographic clip. He was biting his nails, his eye size rivaling that of the Funguar. He look like he had just seen bloody murder.
Sobbing through fits of screams he shrieked even stronger at the next scene, thank god Balamb had nearly soundproof walls for studying comfort, good sex, or in this case, showing friends disturbing content, "AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH AHMYGOOOOD!!! AHHHHH! AH MY GOD! OH! THIS IS FUCKING INSANE! PLEEEEASE!" He frenzied in his seat, tossing it left and right with his body, his hands now slapped against the sides of his head. He wailed like the little kid he is throughout the rest of the video. The couple behind him were making streams with their tears and saliva as they were roaring hyenas. Someone should have been calling the Disciplinary Committee with noise this loud.
The music slowly came to a halt, and Zell was as motionless as the first victim, his hands tangled in his hair. He turns around with this physical state, his eyes almost vicious in his mental torture.
"Ahahaha oh Zell you big crybaby! It was only a joke!" Selphie hiccups, Irvine way to indulged to respond, his seat tipped into 180 degree reclining position. Zell's eyes jump back and forth from looking at Selphie to Irvine.
"What.....the.....hell.....WAS THAT!?!?!?! FRICKEN NASTY ASS SHIT! I don't even think I like girls anymore! I'm going asexual! Send me to freakin' Shumi village so I can become a monk! NOW!! AAAAGH!". He stands up to leave, his hands looking like they will punch the sliding door open.
"Zell! Yo-Waitup! You didn't even get why we're doing this!!!" Irvine says, calming down from his guffaw when he realizes Zell has been enraged. He gets up to run after the furious blond.
"Oh, Irv don't worry about him. He'll be fine. He'll probably go clear up the Training Center for all we know,"
THE INSTRUCTOR IS TAUGHT A LESSON
Irvine still runs out after him only to find Quistis staring back into the direction Zell ran. She turns, "What happened there? He looked like someone just insulted him! What did you do Irvine?" she says all motherly concerned, books in one hand, the other on her hip.
Selphie hearing this, lights up like Blitz and being struck by lightning and runs out. Right when she needed Quistis, she was near.
"Ohhh, Instructor, we just showed him a funny vid and he got all personal about it. He's just being over dramatic," Selphie says sweetly, swaying in place with a smile on her face.
"Hmph! Well! I wanna see this video right now then. I still have about 15 minutes before I teach my summer class. What could you two have possibly show him that would make him run out like that? I swear you guys, he gets it enough from Seifer, and even THAT doesn't get him this upset,"
Irvine and Selphie softly smirked, Quistis unaware that she has just made a promise she will regret. "If you say so Instructor!!!" they sync. She follows them into the room and they lead her to her desk, the webcam still running, still recording all of this. Quistis neatly takes a seat, fixing her dress and setting her well stacked books down on the desk. Selphie once again darts in front her to get things prepared. In only a matter of seconds, things are ready and the music starts once again.
"......Hmph. WOW Irvine. Of all things only you would look this up. It's not like they don't have this all over the internet. Amazing, you two. Why would y – * GAAAAAASP* OH MY!!!"
The toxins from the swarm of the giggle bugs strike yet again on Irvine and Selphie as they all start covering their faces, with the two perpetrators of this crime lying back onto the couches. Quistis moves her hands down to cover her mouth and looks exactly like the cactuar Irvine was less than an hour ago.
"Oh my, how could this be? Two women doing this?! Oh my god! This is horrible! How? Why?Why could anyone do this? Oh – my – god! This is bad for your health! Were these women even WELL after this?"
"Who knows hahahahaha!" Selphie ejaculates. Irvine is just anything but normal, giggling like a patient in his straitjacket or kids in a sandbox.
The Instructor still watches the clip, the same shock and concerned reaction, finally coming onto the next scene, ". . .uh-AAAHHHHH! GROSS! UGH DISGUSTING!!! Oh my god! This is just gonna make you sick! All those monerans and protists they must be consuming! Oh my god!. . . .These women need to get to a hospital immediately! Oh my god! Poor poor people! Poor children seeing this! What is wrong with these people?"
"Hahahahahahahaha! Ohhhh my god Quisty!"
"Hahahahahaha Selphie this is never gonna get old!"
The music once again comes to its end, and the video fades to black. Quistis isn't even stone still, as she immediately puts her head down covering her eyes, as if crying. She shakes her head back and forth.
"Oh my god. I.....I'm just speechless,"
Her right arm hooks itself on her mouth with its elbow on her lap. She continues just shaking her head. Staying in that position for a moment, she moves to wipe her face and rest her head on a temple.
"These were real people for crying out loud! I have never seen anything like this in my life, let alone imagined it! I...I'm just...shocked. I can't believe these type of people exist! – "
" – AHAHAHA – !"
" – I'm serious!....This is just beyond me.....I gotta go...Geez...What in the world...Excuse my french, but this is just fucked up! Okay....that's enough for today and I need a vacation...Let me call a substitute..." She stands up, "Later you two. Ugh!" She grabs her belongings and proceeds to the door and leaves, baffled.
".....Who has had the best reaction so far?" Irvine begins, after they both calm down from the second fit, third for Selphie, that day.
"Well in my opinion I think either you or Zell, but Quistis you gotta admit was kinda like the classic mother's approach."
"Definitely....say hey, why don't we put your reaction in?" Irvine asks, not wanting to be left on the edge.
"It is! Why else do you think I was using your computer last weekend? I never saw it, and now I wish I didn't! And then I didn't want any chocolate ice cream, or just ice cream in general, when you took me out to the beach that evening,"
"Oh, you did? I'm surprised of all people you didn't scream. Let me see then!"
"Noooooo! You can see it later after I finish editing and putting them together. And I didn't scream because...well just because! I'm not screamer unlike you there Irvy * wink * wink * "
"Heh, well pleeeeease?"
"No! I promise I will! But we gotta get everyone elses' first before we can't. Besides mine wasn't that interesting. I just made all these funny faces and gasped here and there. You'll see it tonight, now let's go get the rest of the gang. Vamanos! Booyaka! Operation Sniper!"
"Sniper?"
"Yes, Showing Naïve Imbeciles Poop Eating Retards!"
"You amaze me Selphie," as he playfully shakes his head and rolls his smiles before she goes back to the computer to edit the long clip into the other two reactions and cut out all the unnecessary scenes.
"Go get....let's see...Seifer! Yes! We'll save Squally-boy and Rinny for last,"
"Yes sire!"
Meanwhile... Zell furiously does his "Burning Rave" on a group of Grats in the Training Center. Selphie was right.
Seifer, pulling his gunblade out of a T-rexuar smirked proudly, before hearing all the commotion Zell is causing.
"Huh? Is that... Ice Princess?"
His smirk deepens, as he has yet another chance to harass the brunet introvert. He follows the noise to see none other than Zell crashing the place, much rather to his surprise.
"HEY CHICKEN WUSS! What's your prob? You ain't the only using this place here!"
Zell ignores Seifer, as he continues pounding away at the flora and fauna in sight.
"CHICKEN WUSS! ANSWER ME WHEN I TALK TO YA!"
"Go away Seifer. I'm not in the mood!"
"Whats up then?! I haven't kicked your ass today yet!"
"Go and talk to Selphie and Irvine. They got this so-called amazing video to show the world! No idea where its from but I can't get the damn images out of my head! Freaky shit!"
"(What could they have done to make it seem like Zell's the bigger piss ass than Ice Princess? Then again he's always antsy. Well if it's an amazing video I GOTTA see this...) "Hmm well then! I guess I'll have to wait and beat the shit outta you again later!"
"Fuck you Seifer. Lemme alone already,"
"Later Chicken Wuss!"
The angrier blond continues bulldozing away any organism in sight as Seifer cruises out of the training center to see an approaching Irvine with a glowing smile. This was odd, and Seifer could tell Irvine was looking for him.
"Seifer! There you are! I been lookin' for ya! Come and see this vid! Funniest shit on YouTube!"
"(This is much easier than I thought) Hmph. Sure. I could use it," acting nonchalant.
"(Why is everything just working swell for us today? I swear when Selphie has a goal, its like her luck just gets better on her demand) Come on, Selphie's been itching to show everyone all day,"
"You don't say..."
Curiosity Killed the Tiger
"Seifer! There ya are! Sit, sit, sit!"
The two men arrive back, and Seifer sits with Hyperion by his side, making himself comfortable. He keeps his normal, cool demeanor as Selphie gets everything ready once again as if stuck in a time lapse. Irvine and Selphie take their seat behind Seifer, as they are the true spectators to these "scheduled" shows in the theater of Irvine's room.
"(Something's definitely going on. Well can't hurt to watch...) * Music Begins * "........Heh! Leave it to chicken-wuss to panic over lesbians. I've seen better I'd have to say. Not bad. You showing everyone a porn clip? Let me guess, Irv – WHAT THE???" He glances at the two who are just starting to giggle as it crescendos into laughter, the most dumbfounded expression plastered on his face, "What the hell IS this???"
"Two girls, eating shit outta a cup. What else?"
"What the fuck? Them bitches do this?... What the hell man?!?. . . Oh god! What in the world?. . .Are you two fucking kidding me? DAMN! IRVINE!" Seifer sharply turns his head around, same previous expression on his face before sharply turning his head back. He continues to watch in horror and disgust, his vocal volume escalating.
"Oh! you know... THIS DON'T MAKE NO DAMN SENSE! THIS SHIT IS FUCKING AWFUL! OHMYGOD THEY'RE FREAKIN' PASSING IT BACK AND FORTH IN THEIR MOUTH LIKE THAT! ARE YOU SURE THIS IS REAL? THIS IS DAMN ICE CREAM OR MOUSSE OR SOME SHIT HUH?" He asks, turning his head back at them for the third time.
"You saw her freaking, you know? Shit it!" Selphie bluntly retorts.
Seifer shakes his head and looks back at the video, the next scene starting, "OOOHHHH MY GOD! NOOOO DUUUDE! NOOOO! AAAWWWWWGH!!! THIS IS SOME FREAKY FUCKIN' DUMBASS MOTHER FUCKING SHIT! I'M SERIOUS THIS IS BULLSHIT. THIS IS FUCKING GROSS AND RIDICULOUS!!! HOW THE FUCK YOU DO SOME KINDA CRAZY SHIT LIKE THIS?!?! HYYYYYNE! GOOOOOD AWWWWWGH MAN!!!!! GEEZ!
Selphie and Irvine are choking on the air they breathe and turn technicolored and tomato red during Seifer's tirade on the subject matter, which demanded censors left and right. They are speechless to his response, which to them was the best they got all day. There was truly nothing more to say or describe other than to laugh to death. If laughing made you the richest person in the world, Irvine and Selphie would be gillionaires. If laughter was the best medicine, the couple would be the healthiest. If it was a means of weightloss, Selphie and Irvine would be the fittest team on the planet.
The video finally stops, and Seifer wins awards for putting on the best show today for the audience of two. He turns around, speaking calmer but diction no different.
"If I ever seen any shit , this shit dem fuckin' it. Man and I thought I had issues. This was god awful. Man, I think I will become a saint and stop picking on Zell and Squall. I think I will never cuss or go horny again in my life. I need a break. I need to stay away from the computer, YouTube, and I think maybe you two for a bit. Ohmygod...did Time Compression puke that out? Oh my Hyne, I'm going now," He grabs his gunblade and leaves with not another word said, Selphie and Irvine still trying to calm down from the laughter ecstacy.
"Okay, that was worth it right there," Irvine comments, through small bursts of chuckles.
"No kidding, I mean I don't think I wanna see anything more. Y'know, once you see the best you don't wanna see anything else BUT the best," Selphie slurs through choppy hiccups of snickers.
"Well we gotta see Squall's for sure. Who knows how he will act?"
"Definitely though. If Squall goes off like Seifer someone is gonna have to plan my funeral. I am gonna be so happy I could die, and it'll all be worth it,"
"But first let me stop laughing I still need to let out a big one"
"That's what she said,"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!!" Irvine says imitating Seifer's tone before falling back into another seizure of the laugh monster.
"Ahahahahahahahahahaha! DAMN IT ALL THIS IS ALL FUCKING MOTHERSHITTING AWFUL!" she mirrors.
The two rise into another orgasmic guffaw for the next surprising half hour before calming down. There are mental institutions accepting people like this.
HA HA AH AH AH! L-MAO L-MAO MAO! R-O-T-F-L! WANT YOUR REACTION!
"Squallie Wallie! Can you go out today?!" asks a puppy-eyed Rinoa to an insensitive Squall. He stridfes past her, heading for the central elevator heading to "class", anything to get away from Rinoa.
"No Rinoa I'm busy this evening,"
"Come on maybe an evening stroll on the beach!"
"Not interested,"
"Pleeeease?? Maybe go out for some hot chocolate fudge gushing onto some chocolate ice cream decked with cookie crumbs and chocolate chips! And we can add chocolate candy to it and put some chocolate mousse in too! And tan caramel pieces and then chocolate sprinkles! ANNND!!! Who can forget the Brownies! When they are all soft and squishy and plop onto the ice cream in the cup or bowl or whatever you wanna put it in! (Her eyes sparkle) Our favorite!!! Please? Oh, hi Zell!"
"AGGGHHH!!!! * Gag * Cough * Choke * "
"Oh god you okay!? What did Seifer do this time?"
"NAAAHH!!! GAHH!!!!" He says pointing upwards and babbling like some rabid animal.
"What the hell Zell," Squall tactlessly spits out at Zell, "Speak so I can understand you!"
"UGHHH Selphie and Irvine....,"
"What'd they do," Rinoa answers, "Think of hot dogs! Chocolate Hot dog sticks!" she jokes, trying to think of any stimuli to get a response from Zell, though she was making this much worse for him.
"Oh god don't ever mention chocolate near me. Ever again. I'm not even gonna tell you. I'm fine. You'll be sorry if you went any deeper. Don't worry about me. Protect yourself," Zell warns, pinching the bridge of his nose. He walks off, leaving Rinoa and Squall confused.
"Strange, hmm we should go see whats up with those two and see what their doing," Rinoa suggests, noticing for once she has elicited the reaction she wanted from Squall.
"Let's go then,"
"Hey Squall! There you are! I been looking for you two! Where have you been?"
The pair turn around to see Irvine running up towards them. He stops and pants before standing up straight.
"I've been looking for you guys. Well, Selphie and me actually,"
"Yes, what have you to been doing today? Zell just walked by grossed out by the idea of chocolate," Squall confronts.
"No worries! Ugh, Zell's just taking the joke the wrong way. It's actually this really funny video those amateur comedians do. C'mon ya gotta see it. It's top rated this week!"
"Hmph, I can't say I'm at all intrigued or astounded by your idea,"
"C'mon Squall if Irvine says its funny, then its funny. It's Irvine for Hyne's sake,"
"(This is too easy) Yeah Squall...Pleeeease?" he says putting his hands together and a smile to kill.
"...Fine dammit if it'll get you two to leave me alone,"
They proceed to the elevator with Rinoa softly pushing Squall along. They will meet the same fate as the rest of the orphanage gang.
"God damn, what is taking Irvine?" Selphie says, looking at the time: 6:13pm, "It's been an hour already!"Just as she finished saying that the door beeped and slid open, the trio walking in.
"Ahhh! Hell-oooooo! Rinoa! Squall! Come come and take a seat!" Selphie greets, pulling up a chair from the kitchen table to the computer, "You are JUST on time!"
Squall simply walks over and sits, expression bored and blank. Rinoa runs over to give Selphie a hug and giggles with sweet nothings of typical welcoming conversation before taking a seat. Irvine, with his arms crossed, crosses the room and take a seat on his reclining chair, noticing that Selphie has set out some popcorn for both of them to share while witnessing the sold-out first duet performance showing today at the Irvine Kinneas Theater! Selphie, the stage manager, adds the finishing touches to the set before running off, and Squall and Rinoa basking in the spotlight from the webcam, to which they are oblivious to its looming, recording presence. Rinoa claps her hands and squeals, putting her head on Squall's shoulders while he maintains his same emotions and body language.
With the introducing MFX 1209, the show begins. All audience please remain quiet! The orchestra coming from the speakers begin their symphony, and the audience is absorbed.
Rinoa comments, "I love the music Squall.".
Squall merely scoffs, then rolls his eyes at the opening make-out scene of the lesbians. Rinoa chuckles, rather amused. They take this part calmly compared to the other acts of today, but the climax has yet to happen. The orchestra continue their melody, but the show escalates into its rising action. SHOCK!
"AHHHHHHHH! HAHAHA! AHHHHH! OHMYGOD! OHOHO!" comes Rinoa's shrill voice. She covers her eyes with one hand and the the screen with the other hand in front of her.
"Gotta move your hand! Watch the whole thing!" Selphie says through a mouth of popcorn.
"OHHHHH my GODDDD! Geezus! AHHH! THIS IS RIDICULOUS!!!! STOP!!! UGH!!!" Rinoa cries. She abruptly gets out of the chair and blindly flees to some other part of the dorm, running into a cabinet.
"Rinoa!!! You okay?! Oh my god!" Selphie says through another mouthful of popcorn and chuckles. She runs over to help Rinoa up, guiding her back to the running video at a viewable distance. Squall is silent throughout. Irvine is rather amazed and his curiosity piqued. He gets up to look at Squall, who looks as if hes made of wax. He doesn't even blink.
"Nooo!!! OH GOD!!! What the hell! This is INSANE! AHHHH! …....AHHHH! GOD I CANT STOP WATCING IT THOUGH! AHHHHH – * Cough * – HHH!!! She wipes and covers her mouth, her eyes watery, ". . .Is it over? . . . AHHHHH! HOLY SHIT! EEWWWW! GOD NOT THIS PART! THIS IS WORSE! THIS IS THE * Gag * WORST! AAAAHHHH!" She closes her eyes and throws her hands about. Squall is still still. Irvine is just dumbstruck, amazed at how Squall is stoic, unlike everyone else, who reacted in utter disgust. They continue their ways until the video stops for the last time. Rinoa coughes and hacks away.
"HYNE CHRIST! Okay this was just weird! Ugh! See you at the dorm Squall," and she dashes out of the room from where she's standing. The remaining three can here her squealing away down the hall before the door slides shut. For the first time today, Selphie and Irvine did not get the convulsions as they had predicted. This was just a pure anomaly! Not even Squall Leonhart is shaken by a video of two girls eating shit a la mode. Selphie walks over next to Irvine to peer at Squall. He slowly turns his head at them and stares like a painting. There is an awkward silence...before he finally blinks.
"...Um....Squall?" Selphie first says.
He blinks one more.
"Squall. . ." Irvine repeats.
He blinks for the third time in a row and another silence sweeps. . .all of a sudden he smirks.
"OHMYGOD Squall are you okay?!" Selphie scaredly asks.
"Hmhmhmhmhmhm"
"Sq-Squall?" utters Irvine.
"Hehehehe....Hahaha"
"SQUALL!" they scream, terrified by his chortles.
"Hahaha! Who's up for some '2 Guys 1 Horse' * wink * "
Conclusion
It's the Annual Garden Festival. Go figure, Selphie plans the activities. This year's theme was the Monster Ball. Everyone was to come dressed as their personal inner monster, some students literally taking meaning of the word and coming in costume while others tried daring fashions. Selphie came dressed in a very fascinating piece, where she was surrounded by large planetary orbital rings. If she got the rings to spread out and stay in place, she could prop her legs up and probably roll around the quad. She went up to the stage of the and tapped the microphone on the podium.
"Hello fellow and fella Monsters!"
The students applaud and whistle at her intricate outfit.
"I have come here to show you a video inspired by two monsters I encountered during preparation for this festival! This is the monster ball, where when you come to the Monster Ball it will set you free and all of the things that you don't like about yourself won't matter anymore. What I have here to share is the laugh monster I saw in myself, and the monster of shock within my fellow friends. I recorded their reactions to a video two weeks ago, and wanted to show it all to you because I thought it was very funny. I'm sure you will all enjoy it, as my boyfriend and I very much did. Lights please!
" * GASP * IRVINE!!! What is going on here? What's she talking about?" Quistis venomously hisses, wearing a white dress with an origami-styled light blue telephone wrapped on her head, with heavy blue eye makeup to match.
"Ughh! I don't know. Honest I swear. I mean, she was just gonna post this video of you all going ballistics about that thingy on YouTube but I guess not! Don't look at me she doesn't tell me all of her plans!" confesses a scared Irvine. Simply wearing a masquerade mask along with most of the other boys, as this was mostly a girl's dress up party.
"OH NO! IRVINE! PLEASE NOT MINE!!" sobs an embarrassed Rinoa, in a bubble dress ensemble.
"What? Don't look at me!!!"
"...IRVINE!!!" Squall realizes. He should have never uttered his fetish to these type of things on a camera he didn't know was in use".
"You cannot be serious!" Zell mumbles, fear settling in.
"Irvine! You better explain what the FUCK's going on," threatens Seifer.
"W-why y-you all l-look-king at-t me? (GOD DAMMIT SELPHIE WHY THIS!!!)"
The video has already started, with Irvine first on the list.
"Hehehehe, WHOO! Damn, Selph, I didn't know you were into this...", says video Irvine.
"SELPHIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
END
So! How'd you all like that? Squall's reaction was outta the blue wasn't it? You shoulda been expeting it as smart readers XP! I worked kinda hard in making everyone represent a typical reaction you would find on youtube. The boy thinking its some hot porno, the cusser, the one who runs out of the room screaming, the crybaby, the one who gags and coughs, the concerned mother, and Selphie as the one who makes funny faces but keeps her screams to herself (like me). Sorry for (if any) OOC. I do apologize. It's humor, that's my excuse. This turned out much MUCH LONGER than I thought. Anyways that last section there was just a nod to my friend and I who are Lady GaGa freaks (also notice the Bad Romance chant I did!). It wasn't really plot necessary, but like I said I wrote it for us for laughs and for me to start practicing my writing skills again for the fic I prepare to show the world someday. SO! Leave constructive criticism and flames will be unaccepted and used as an entertainment source like "flicking the bean" Izzy (inside joke! XD). Have some humanity and civil manners people.
I also apologize for any paragraphig format mistakes. Point out any grammar and stuff to me so I can fix it. Thank you.
This is a shout-out to you Izzy-Lawliet! "I told you she didn't have a dick! ...Too bad!"
(Go read her stories....like...NOW!)
We love you Square Enix, Lady GaGa, but we have to thank you MFX Media for the idea (but you guys are disturbed!).
I am such a disturbed person for choosing to do somethig like this as practice! Well at least I know I'm probably the first or few people who do these reaction fic stories.
"In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different" - Coco Chanel, yaya?
Enough of my nonsense. Have a good day :)